r/cats • u/Beccahertel • 13h ago
Humor My cat discovered the printer and now thinks she's the office manager
Every time I try to print something, Lucy positions herself directly in front of the printer and stares at it intensely. When the paper starts coming out, she gently pats each page like she's quality checking my work. Yesterday she actually grabbed a document in her mouth and carried it to me like she was delivering important mail. Now she sits by the printer every morning waiting for her "shift" to begin. I think I accidentally trained the world's most adorable office assistant. Anyone else have cats with weird job assignments?
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u/Independent_Cup7132 12h ago
Haha that’s amazing-she really promoted herself to head of printing services. My cat’s “job” is night security, which basically means screaming at random shadows at 3am.
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u/Cluefuljewel 9h ago
Mateo lacked the self control of a truly great office assistant. But he makes me laugh. I retired last year and we are both living the cat life!
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u/BigThunder1000 11h ago
Me: Joy lives rent free as long as there is no mice.
Mom: there have never been any mice.
Me: contract is a contract
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u/tearstainedwriter 11h ago
my cat is also named lucy and is obsessed with the printer 😂😂 they’re such funny little animals
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u/Ancient_Equipment299 10h ago
My cat does 2 jobs:
Audit my code and judge me with "that look"
Proceed to groom herself, open legs, on my meetings (I once got up to open the door to come back to a bunch of colleagues laughing hard and a not so happy boss. PS cats are immune to teams background filters it seems)
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u/Automatic_Rich_7058 7h ago
Sounds like your ct’s got a solid gig! Nothing like a feline boss to keep you on your toes during meetings.
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u/PorkrindsMcSnacky 2h ago
My kids used to attend a small private school. During the Covid lockdowns I attended a Zoom parent/teacher open house. The principal was in the meeting as well but on mute.
At one point my cat walked across the screen and showed her butt to everyone. I was mortified and apologized. In chat the principal typed, “Never apologize for cat.”
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u/thisisjustascreename 4h ago
My company went back to the office full time so there are many less cat sightings on zoom :(
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u/PoundingTheStreets 9h ago
My cat is an exhibitionist/blackmailer. She will decide to walk on my desk and present her arse to the camera EVERY time I have a teams meeting UNLESS I am constantly feeding her dreamies while sat on my lap. My other cat doesn’t do this, just her! 😂
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u/No_Quality8668 8h ago
Just wait …she’s going to discover the on/off button and you are going to be woken at 5am every morning by the printer turning on. I lived that experience 😂
. I thought when my office kitty died I would no longer have to endure that …turns out my second kitty was trained as the office junior and stepped up into the role 🙄. Now I just leave it unplugged
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u/LittleredridingPnut 10h ago
My cat did this too, except I had to keep her away because she was not gentle with the pages. She would attack and smash back into the printer and tear holes 😂
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u/simonannitsford 8h ago
Wait until you do a double sided print, and it disappears back onto the printer ...... wild
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u/lithaborn 7h ago
I kid you not, one of ours learned which button to press to print a test page. We had to put the printer in a cupboard because the little butthole was running down the ink cartridge
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u/Invanabloom 10h ago
My cat does this, we have to guard the printer especially when it’s a big print out… she goes ballistic with the paper… it’s hilarious
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u/Liu1845 Tuxedo 4h ago
One of mine is the "Coffee Supervisor". The measuring out of the grounds, placing the filter in the basket, adding the water, brewing, pouring, doctoring the cup with cream and sugar must be done under their strict supervision. (Dumas)
Another supervises and guards my showers, toothbrushing, and hand washing. (Dexter)
Trips to the deep freeze in the garage are only allowed when accompanied by my Tux, no exceptions. (Lucky)
At least they divide the jobs up evenly.
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u/KotkaCat 1h ago
I’m glad I’m not the only one with a bathroom superviser. She comes in as I start and leaves when I leave. Either she just stares at me or smells all the stuff on the counter, or plants her butt near my face as I brush my teeth. I’m not entirely sure what she’s checking for, but I think I pass her inspections each time
Sometimes she comes up when I’m bathing and smells the water. I think she’s making sure I’m not drowning in acid. She’s so considerate
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u/expositrix 3h ago
My cat has decided that the printer is an evil entity which opens a portal to Hell. Ergo, the instant it makes any sort of sound, it MUST be attacked. Freshly printed pages are ectoplasmic demonic sigils, and they should be smacked unstintingly.
He is determined to save the planet from the forces of darkness.
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u/JustANobody2425 8h ago
Mine used to sign legal documents then sign them on fire.
Obviously joking but she used to grab pens with her mouth and run away. And then come for a lighter, grab it and run away....
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u/DarkSkyStarDance Calico 7h ago
My mother is not a cat person, but her cat has appointed themself as her personal guardian- he follows her around the garden and out in the paddock like a furry shadow panther. I’m not sure what he will do in an emergency, but I am also scared to find out.
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u/quattroformaggixfour 8h ago
My cat tries her best to get mamma to bed earlier…..for proper cuddles
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u/DianneTodd01 5h ago
My boy cat considers himself a chef and a Riverdance performer.
In our former apartment, he twice managed to turn on and adjust our stovetop. The second time he did it, he managed to (1) stand simultaneously on the exact two buttons and (2) maintain adequate pressure for three seconds to unlock the stove. Then (3) step on the button to select a specific eye, and finally (4) stand on the specific eye’s adjacent plus button long enough to increase the element to 9.
There’s nothing quite like waking to a warm kitchen and an unattended stovetop set to 9. 😱
You would not believe the amount of MacGyver-ing my engineering spouse had (got) to do in order to ultimately dissuade him.
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u/Popular_Definition_2 7h ago
Mine is just spooked by the printer. Just a kitten though, she will fight bite the edges of the papers such that if I do not double check I will submit bite stamped documents.
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u/unknownpoltroon 7h ago
why you on here talking shit about your office manager and printer tech instead of getting them treats?
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u/dawndaydreams_ 7h ago
My cat is **obsessed** with the printer. He can be in a full, comatose level nap, and if he hears that printer click on, he runs across the house to stare at it (and sometimes tries to climb inside of it).
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u/idreamofkewpie 6h ago
My youngest cat has taken up residency as the bathroom attendant. Number ones or twos, doesn’t matter, Bishop is there for moral support!
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u/DianneTodd01 5h ago
Milo: AlarmCat and dehumidifier examiner
Molly: upgraded hearing aids and shower OSHA inspector
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u/Amphissa 4h ago
Our big tabby takes down one moth every night. The little orange girl, acting as the cheering section, just watches. They have a catio where moths gather together as unsuspecting and easy targets.
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u/catsareniceDEATH 4h ago
Unfortunately, all positions filled 'in office' must come with an identification badge.
Please rectify this immediately. (This can be done by affixing an identification photo, preferably face on, of the new office employee, Lucy.)
Thank you.
😹❤️
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u/Tilling1943 3h ago
laundry attendant. role includes checking the machine has started properly by standing on back paws to listen for the water, running with muddy paws into hanging bedding on the line, then later supervises (stops) the retraction of the washing line
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u/SeaAdvance4830 3h ago
The older cat figured out how to print an information page from our printer. The younger cat figured out how to print a completely different test page and made it only possible to print through the hpsmart app. The older is the school principal and the younger recently got promoted to intern.
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u/rwphx2016 Tuxedo 1h ago
Linus does something similar. He paws at the pages as they print and sometimes grabs one. Then he sits on it. His brother Lucien couldn't care less about the printer.
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u/CalliopeCelt 7h ago
Yep! I have 2 cats who are my familiars. One is retired bc he is 17 and being a familiar is spiritually harder. He still watches me do rituals and such but falls asleep sometimes while my current familiar takes on the actual spiritual parts. Basically they protect me while I’m vulnerable and make me aware of any spiritual threats. Being a familiar is like being a service animal. Not all pets are able to do it and willingness is the most important factor with temperament and ability are next. I also have a spirit cat that likes to help as well. They like to play hide and seek and do zoomies at 3am but their favorite is probably swirling around me while I’m doing rituals bc I feed them massive amounts of energy that I don’t need during it. I can sink in too deep when grounding before or after and need to offload some of it. They get to help deal with that.
You may not believe in witchcraft but when I do rituals, they work. I’ve probably done a thousand now and that track record is better than FDA approved drugs.
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u/Best_Needleworker530 6h ago
My cat knows all of the company secrets and is a running HR violation. He also disrupts all my meetings with my line manager by being a menace or biting me. Cannot be let go, too adorable.
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u/zeravlaf478 5h ago
Mine does this as well, but mostly because he thinks he’s the home office shredder. 🙃
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u/MikoGianni 4h ago
My cat does that, too. Maybe they went to the same technical training program. ⌨️💻💼
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u/11thRaven Tabbycat 4h ago
My cat thinks he's my PA and should make phone calls for me. Also thinks he should flush the toilet for me but he's not able to set the flush off. (He smacks the button but would have to press in with much more pressure.)
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u/stonydee 4h ago
My cat sits by bathroom door anytime someone uses restroom ready to pounce on any intruder.
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u/First_Age9680 4h ago
My cat also named Lucy does this too 🥹 (literally doing it now as I type this!)
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u/bibliophile222 3h ago
One of mine is a guard dog. We've Iived in three different apartments since we've gotten her, and in each one she's quickly figured out the best place to sit so that she can see as much of the place as possible, especially the front door. It's not a nervous/prey thing because she's extremely confident in her queen bee status and has probably never felt like prey in her life. She's definitely watching over us. 🙂
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u/Mosstopy 2h ago
My cat likes to yell a me if I'm up too late working. She'll generally yell/get in my business until the laptop's closed, and I'm in bed
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u/ad_damn 12h ago
My cat does that too 🥹. Then I brought her a tie to make her super-duper-cool-office-assistant and she likes it so much