My ex and I have coparented our 10 year old son for the last 7 years, mostly amicably, without a court mandated parenting plan. The schedule that we have agreed on is that I have my son every other week from Thursday after school until I drop him off at school on Monday morning. Everything has been fine until I moved recently. I moved about 25 miles away from her. With traffic it is an average of 45 minutes in commute time. I realize it’s not ideal, but I’m not asking her to do any driving and honestly I didn’t really expect to have a huge pushback. I work in the city they live in and I still have important connections to the city.

The problem is she has recently asked me to give up one of my days with my son because she is worried that the commute will be too hard on him and seriously impact his sleep schedule. I’m sympathetic to her concerns but my feeling is that time spent in my home being cared for by me is more important than the potential loss of sleep.

Am I in the wrong by refusing to give up my time with my son?

I’ve been divorced for 10 years from the father of my two children. Things were very tumultuous at the beginning of our separation and through the custody agreement. We’ve gone the past 8 years coparenting mostly well. A few weeks ago his girlfriend (K) of about 2 years sent me a message asking me to stop bashing her daughter. For context, the only time her daughter (M) is brought up in my household is when my daughter (S) comes to me telling me how M hit her, kicked her, called her fat, etc. S is just 13 and already has a body image complex bc of M. When S brings up M when she did something to hurt her I just tell S that is not okay and she shouldn’t be treating you that way and your dad should not let that happen either. K’s message basically said it seems like all you talk about is my daughter and I don’t appreciate it and tell your mom and boyfriend the same. Literally the ONLY time they are part of conversation is when M hurts S and S tells me about it. I told my mom and boyfriend, like she asked, and asked my mom not to send her a message bc I didn’t want to escalate. My mom went full mama bear and ignored my request (which did not make me happy) and politely and rationally responded to K’s concerns. K followed up with a long drawn out message full of name calling. (Hence the reason I asked my mom not to respond bc I knew that’s what it would end up with). I initially chose to give it a day or two before I responded so I could give a level headed, less emotional response but after my mom reacted, I chose not to respond at all. The blowback has been immense! K has two kids with a guy that hasn’t been around for most of her kids lives. I have two kids with my ex, 50/50 custody, and have been the primary coordinator of any school, medical, or dental occurrences. Ever since K sent the message my ex has been on a power trip trying to take control of things. I wouldn’t mind him stepping up to take care of appointments occasionally but he took S to the doctor a few months before any of this and told them that he can’t be sure if I’m making sure she takes her twice daily pill. This led to CYS coming to my door to investigate. Even the CYS caseworker was dumbfounded by the fact that she had to respond to such a report. S has epilepsy and is 7 years seizure-free but has chosen to continue her meds for comfort. Her neurologist has said many times over the past two years that she is comfortable trying to wean her off the meds. Regardless, it’s a 13 year old girl that has been on the same meds for 7 years and has taken them morning and night for that span of time. The caseworkers immediate response was “she’s more than capable of taking her own pills” I do all if she took it most nights but she’s done it for so long it’s extremely rare that she forgets. So in the past few weeks my ex has been pushing to get my son to get his driving permit, a bank account, and a job (which is funny considering my ex got fired from his job of 14 years for making threats, refused to work for about two years, and then quickly went through 2 jobs before landing on a part time gig.) he actively tried to hide from me the fact that he was taking our son for his permit. While not a crime, it was very hurtful for him to try and not allow me to be included in this moment of my son’s life. I’ve always told him about dr and dentist appts and he’s always chosen to not attend. I know that K is feeding things into his head and it’s very frustrating trying to maintain a normal life for the kids when their dad is trying so hard to undermine me. I know this was such a long post but I’d appreciate any input on how to deal with a situation like this.

Does anyone else get almost a full blown panic attack or nightmares when they have interactions with their coparent? My nervous system gets so triggered I began shaking when I see notifications from him. I’m always being accused of something, or “trying to make him look bad” by asking him to not call. I feel like I’m in fight or flight all the time.

My child’s father has her on weekends and I have weekdays, but that will be changing soon so that I can get more weekend time and he can share more of the school day responsibilities. With this new schedule I’m finding myself looking to set more boundaries all around in regards to how much I’m still doing for him, one being shared stuff. We’ve always sent a bag back and forth and he pays 50% of any big clothing hauls I purchase but I’m pretty tired of being the sole person responsible for her things. He does have some clothing at his house and she has an inhaler we pass back and forth, but at this point I feel like it might just be added stress for me. How do you manage shared stuff? Is it every man for himself or do you pass a bag back and forth still? Let me know how you handle it in your households!

Hi, we’re in a middle of custody process of our infant baby, and one of the biggest emotional struggles I know, I will have eventually is when dad will start dating someone seriously and I will have to share my daughter with another woman.

I have no desire to restrict me or him from dating in any way, as we’re both deserve to be happy even if its not with each other. That being said please for those who been there provide me with tips and insights how to cope with this in best and most healthy way as a first time parent?

And what should we put in parental agreement to ensure healthy boundaries are established for future step parents?

Hi everyone. I have a 13 and 16-year-old daughter. We were doing week on week off. In the past few months, my 16 year-old daughter has not wanted to go back to her dad’s. She will go once in a while on the weekend, but she has a busy school schedule and lives right near the school soit’s more convenient. On top of that, she has a complicated relationship with her dad and they don’t really get along. He is very controlling and doesn’t know how to connect with a teenager. She can be difficult at times, but she needs more one on one support. My relationship can be challenging with her, but overall we are very close and she tells me everything.

Her dad has been asking for more time. But when she goes over there, he doesn’t pay attention to her, he’s always working. She has tried to communicate with him, but he doesn’t listen. I encourage her to spend time with her dad and I’m very Cautious and being as neutral as possible. I do understand what she’s going through, because that is how he used to treat me when I was married to him. Hence, one of the reasons we divorced.

Fast-forward to last night. My 13-year-old son was supposed to come back to my house for this week and he refused. He said that if his sister doesn’t go to his dad’s, he won’t come here. I know some of this is brainwashing by his dad. Furthermore, he also asked to come here when she’s not here. For example, if she goes over to his dad‘s for the week, then he will want to come here. Him and his sister have not been getting along lately, and it’s been really a struggle. So he wants to have space from her. That is a whole different dynamic that has been difficult to navigate. He provokes her and then she yells at him and it’s just a never-ending cycle. I have tried talking to them about stepping outside of the cycle and changing their behaviors, but they continue to be stuck.

I’m really struggling with how to handle this situation. I don’t know if I should just let go and let things play out, or try to push some sort of solution. I wish I could reasonably talk to my ex about this, but he would just turn it into a pissing match. I tried texting him and he’s not responding. He is very close minded and difficult to deal with, so he’s really unable to see outside of himself anyway. We do parallel coparenting, if you’re familiar with that.

I appreciate any tips or advice that you may have. Thank you in advance.

My kids Mum and I broke up 2 years ago. We tried to make it amicable, that hasn't always been possible, we've had to go through a 12 month house sale which caused strain and conflict, but were out the other side now and in a pretty good space. She has the kids mon-fri, i have them on weekends then we switch it up on school holidays as i live an hour away and cant school runs.

I met a new partner after 10 months of splitting, we are now pregnant and due to give birth later this year. This has all happened much faster than either of us anticipated, so i've been using the recent months to let my children get used to my new partner, build a relationship with her and come to terms with the new dynamic.

I now need to let them know that were going to be having another baby. Any advice on how to manage this message? Im conscious that they have been through a lot of change (moving house, living in two homes, daddy's new partner etc), so really want to try and make things as least disruptive for them as possible.

Who has been through similar scenarios, or has the wisdom to provide me with some advice? Thanks in advance.

This evening was rough, emotionally. Any encouragement from folks with little ones who have gone through this. Only child, and he is 4. Had a lot of questions about why dad does not live with us. We are doing a 50-50 custody with a 223 schedule. He is young so I think in his mind because my apartment is the first place he slept after his dad and I moved out of the house we all lived in, he sees my place as home. We just did the first week of 223 with me being the first 2 and the 3. The middle 2 days with his dad were school days. Exchanges were at school. I was mostly unpacking and didn’t feel it. I dropped him off at his dad’s today after spending Friday - Sunday with him and just cried all the way home. No concerns about his time with his dad. I just am sad that this is all happening even though it needed to happen. How have you guys handled these early transitions? I need assurance that this gets better. For all of us.

My daughter (3), my partner and I have been living together for more than a year now and she still has trouble adjusting to our setup, so I am looking for advice on how to make it easier for her.

My ex and I got divorced and after our separation, we have agreed that she spends every other weekend with him and he also took her out of the kindergarden for a year whilst we waited for our line in the new kindergarden closer to home (we live in Europe, don’t know how it is in other countries)

During this year, I have tried and helped my daughter and my current partner (all of us have lived together for a year now) to create a more trusting relationship, but as my partner works abroad a lot and is away from home for most of the month, my daughter gets really attached to me. She asks for my partner when he’s away, is sad when she can’t see him, but when he gets back she tends to get a bit cold and at first refuses to spend any time with him, clinging on to me like a spidermonkey, which makes me worried for both of them.

I feel like I’m in the middle, trying to encourage everyone, handle everyones frustration, but I have no clue what I am doing or how to make things better now. I’m a bit afraid that I will not find a solutiom and my partner might eventually have enough of this and leave, so I would love to hear any tips on how to make it better for them both.

P.s. My ex is a great dad and I encourage him to see our daughter as much and frequently as he can, I do not limit their contact whatsover and I’m not trying to replace her dad, everyone involved is informed about this.

Does anyone have experience enforcing the children’s bill of rights? Not sure if they have this in every state but in Texas we have a bill of rights that’s included in custody agreements. My son’s (6 y.o) dad has violated some parts, and I’ve started keeping a log to compile evidence. I’ve only just started the log, I should’ve started earlier but I thought I would be able to navigate the things my son was telling me with talking with my son and his therapist (he does play therapy once a week) to help him sort out the feelings. I’ve realized now that I don’t think that is going to work. His dad and I have a modified standard custody, he is the NCP. He moved 130 miles away last year, and I have been working hard and going out of my way to make sure we are keeping up the standard possession as well as we can. By verbal agreement between his dad and I, we are meeting at 6pm at a halfway point on his Fridays (1st, 3rd, 5th) and 3pm on Sundays. When we did the exchange today, our son told me that he was sad. I asked why and he said “my dad said that if you keep being mean to him, he is going to take me away forever and it made me feel sad” The ‘being mean’ in question is regarding a text message exchange between his dad and I that occurred last week. His dad has a long history with me of gaslighting/bullying, and has been doing a lot of guilt tripping because I will not move to the town he is now in. He had expected that I would move when he did, and I told him no as I am established in Austin, have a really good job and rent a house in a nice part of town that I have lived in now for years. So in the message I put my foot down about the guilt tripping and he of course back tracks to make it seem like he is not trying to guilt me. It’s my first time posting so I hope I did this all correct, I really just need some advice on how I can go about all of this. I copied and pasted the log I started since I can’t attach screen shots, I am trying to remember specifics of a lot of stuff he has said, so the log isn’t totally complete as there has been a lot of other things.

9/7/25, 6/15/25, other occasions with un documented dates

9/7/25-1510, Upon pick up, while in the car James said he was sad because his dad told him “ my dad said that if you keep being mean to him, he is going to take me away forever and it made me feel sad” I let James know that was not okay for his dad to tell him that. I assured him that will not happen, and I will talk to his dad about him saying stuff to James to scare him. I told James further that, I will continue to work hard to make sure that he has both of his parents all of the time. That my goal is for him to have both of his family’s forever, and that even though the distance is hard for everyone, I will keep working hard to make sure James has everyone. I told him that I hope that hearing that makes him feel a little bit better, and he said it does.

6/15/25, 1420- James told me that his dad told him(James) that James does not love him(dad) anymore because he loves Ethan (step-dad). I told James that he can love both of them equally. We had a long talk about the heart’s capacity for love, and that the same way that his dad loves all of his children equally, James is aloud to love both his dad and Ethan equally.

James has told me before that his dad tells him that he (dad) loves him more that I do, this is something that he has said to me on two separate occasions, both times I told him that we both love him equally, and that there is proof of my love in all of the things that I do for him, such as taking care of him and taking him to his doctors to make sure he’s healthy, spending time with him and taking him to do fun things together. I did not record dates/times.

On one occasion, when I was arranging James to have therapy for his ADHD and navigating having separated parents, James told me that his dad told him that I was going to make him “take a pill to take his fun away, like Apollo gets” I assured James that I was not planning on giving him any kind of pill that does that. I let James know that his therapy is to help him with his feelings and to help him learn how to control himself so that he can do good in class. I did not record date/time

My baby daddy and I broke up when I was 5 months pregnant, he is not on the birth certificate. Once the child was born he would see her on the weekends and did so for about 2 years. Due to unfortunate events I moved several states away for me and my child’s best interest ( I had no where else to live at the time). My child and I are thriving and have been by ourselves for almost 4 years now, and this man decides to move out here and wants to immediately do 50/50. He’s always flown out here to see her and she’s had vacations to see her dad they have never been away from each other for too long and my daughter seemed to enjoy that. She has not taken to him living here. She gets stressed out about having two houses and going back and forth, WHAT CAN I DO?? I feel like I want him to move back 😭

Mom of 3. My oldest 2 children’s father lives out of state. The baby goes to his father’s house every weekend and generally we coparent well despite us recently breaking up. He’s going to be working more hours that will invade my time which he doesn’t understand why it’s upsetting. How can I maintain a positive coparenting relationship when there’s an issue we can’t come to an agreement/compromise on?

I’m recently separated and just started a custody schedule that was agreed upon in mediation. My co-parent has issues with alcohol (currently required to use a breathalyzer before time with our child).

At the beginning of the separation, their family assured me I’d always be included and supported. That was actually one of the main reasons I stayed in the relationship longer than I should have—I didn’t want to lose them. Eventually a serious incident with alcohol made it clear I needed to leave. I later found out their family had known the truth about how bad things were but didn’t tell me, and ever since then they’ve been cold and distant.

Now, on top of that, I’ve been accused of doing things I haven’t done, like getting rid of sentimental items, when I know the other parent was the one responsible. It’s devastating to lose trust not just in a partner but in people I once thought of as family. To make things more complicated, my ex is living with them, so they’re very involved in day-to-day co-parenting, and I’m starting to feel like they may actually be more difficult to navigate than my ex.

I’ve offered to be transparent and sit down with them to talk things through, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Has anyone dealt with ex in-laws who are deeply involved? Any advice on how to manage this dynamic without losing my mind?

Would feel on this situation….

My ex has our girls (13) and (8) every other weekend he now lives with his gf and her son (16) since summer….

The son has friends over all the time all through out the nights and days … I get it young and has friends awesome But my oldest told me they had 6 16 year olds sleep over the other night in the living room and our girls stayed upstairs the whole time ….

Am I wrong to actually be pissed and upset about this? My 13 year old does not look 13 and my 8 year old isn’t one to speak up about things… I don’t trust anyone of course I watch all those Lovely shows documentaries and stuff so I’m actually scared and nervous that Something would Happen

My ex doesn’t know any of these kids who come around met a few times still doesn’t mean you know where they come from how their home is or how they’re raised….

I mentioned maybe some boundaries as to where this kid can have sleep overs when the girls aren’t there being that they’re only there to spend time with there dad … but of course I get ignored we don’t have a good co parent relationship either

I moved from ny to sc and of course baby daddy was okay with the move as long as communication stayed okay which is has. We started talking about how the first visit may work and since my son is only 7 he can’t just board a plane by himself. My baby daddy understands that I may not be able to get him there for the holidays this year but I do plan on him going to ny for the summer. The issue arises with my now husband who doesn’t like the idea of me and my son just taking a plane and him not being there. Now for reference my baby daddy has tried to make a move on me since being married but he was confronted and everything had been good and calm. But I don’t know what to do my husband says if I go thru with it and it is just me and my son that he doesn’t think our relationship would make it and I don’t think that’s fair. My husband was fully aware that my son’s father was always going to be in our lives but my husband doesn’t think he should be responsible for plane tickets, planning visit, or making sure they happen. I can’t afford constantly buying 4 plane tickets back and forth (have a child with my husband) so by his logic all 4 of us to drop my son off with his dad then 3 come back to sc just to back a month later then all go home that is extremely expensive and he refuses to help chip in! Did I overreact for thinking it’s ridiculous or insane?

My kid isn't in school yet but will be soon. In your experience. Do you feel it is disruptive to have the kid coming home from school in a different house/bus/pick up adult than the one they were dropped off in? Would it be more successful if the trade happened in the evening instead? What are your experiences good bad and ugly? We're amicable but we have a lot of years to go yet.

I recently have ended a year long court case with my co-parent and we have both ended with 50/50 custody of our 1 year old son. I’m having issues finding ways to get my coparent to communicate better about issues involving our son. She will mention bumps and bruises that have happened to him but doesn’t know where they have come from, he will come to me with a severe diaper rash but she says it wasn’t there before our exchange time. She has also dressed him in clothing with suggestive but supposedly “cute or funny” innuendos. I’ve expressed my concerns about the clothing or my distaste for such innuendos on our child. When I bring up my concerns they are either ignored by my coparent or she blows up and says I’m attacking her or accusing her of abuse and threatens legal action. I’m just trying to establish clear communications and help us be the best parents for our son. What is the best way to navigate this or advice anyone would give me? I want us to find peace and move forward with our child’s best interest at heart. But I find her lack of communication and support frustrating.

My ex husband and i have been divorced for almost two years now, we had a perfect co parenting relationship even when we both had new partners. We had our once a month family days and did all school events together. Kept each other updated and in the loop about everything, we were good friends.

He recently got a new girlfriend, our rule has always been no introduction of the kids until you are at least together for 6 months with said new partners. Two weeks in he tries to have my kids meet her and my daughter calls me and tells me her dad said she had no choice but to meet her. Clearly this upset me and i told him no and why all the sudden change? And he got very upset and started going off on me. Well then he starts having her over constantly at his place when my children are there and my daughter informs me that all they do is drink and get high, he doesnt pay attention to them and spends his time with his new girlfriend in the room. He doesnt do any activities with them anymore. He started being very rude and aggressive with me telling me disrespectful things hes never said before and we no longer do family days, hes not allowed to come inside my home and im not allowed at his because his new girlfriend doesnt like it. She wanted him to completely cut off communication with me which is very unrealistic. Said girlfriend starts blaming me for any and all problems they have in their relationship. My daughter tells me they are on the phone 24/7 when the girlfriend is not there so she doesnt even get quality time with her dad anymore. My daughter tried expressing how she felt to her dad and how it upsets her that he doesnt pay attention to them or do anything with them anymore because of his new relationship. He just tells her to mind her business and that shes fine. He said its all part of being in relationships. I spoke with him and told him that he should use his free days without the kids to be with his girlfriend and that when he has the kids to focus on them we have a 2-2-3 schedule. He told me that im just trying to control his life because hes happy now. His girlfriend is also telling him not to listen or respect me.

Editing to add he no longer does school events because then he would be around me. And they have only been together maybe 3 months now.

My question is, is it too far to put a restraining order on his girlfriend on behalf of my kids to keep her away while my ex has the kids? My daughter is not comfortable and sometimes chooses not to go with her dad because of this reason.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your input! I have tried to communicate about these concerns and he blows them off, I am currently trying to change the custody placement. I am not jealous of this new woman as he has had many before and i have had other partners it was just concerning how much he let this one affect him in his parenting. My daughter has proof as in videos and messages of how he treats her. I have brought up therapy for the kids because of the divorce and he thinks its useless. We have 50/50 custody right now so yes he needs to be on board with therapy because we need his permission too. I will now be calling CPS with all your suggestions to establish the concerns. Again this is my first time having this problem and I was not sure how to navigate this. I have no desire to control his life, i just wanted him to be consistent with how he treated his children thats all. I also dis not want to create high conflict since we never had that before but if thats what needs to be done it will be.

My exhusband and I are both entering new stages in our lives and the kids are not taking it well.

I am getting married 9/20 to my fiancee which they are so very happy about but their dad announced this weekend that he and his wife are getting divorced.

The kicker is he is putting his divorce off as my fault since apparently his marriage is ending because his wife can't have our kids in their house talking about my soon to be wife and I being married?? A tad bit of phobia is my understanding.

Either way its being difficult on the children and I am not sure how to address it and keeping the strain on our already h/c co parenting to a minimum. Suggestions?

I see lots of posts about kids clothing. In my situation, there seems to be coercive control. Would love your advice.

She wants play clothes back. I’m not really sure what play clothes, as I’m not aware of any I have that she bought, so I say “I’m happy to send you play clothes, let me know which clothes to send.” She replies “All the clothes you didn’t buy.” Again, not sure which she’s referring to.

By the nature of the spirit days at the end of last school year, she ended up with all the school uniforms for one kid (purchased by both of us). So I ask if she can exchange a few school uniforms for one kid and ask if she needs any uniforms for the other kid cause I have plenty of those.

She replies that she will only exchange school uniforms 1 for 1 with the play clothes I owe her.

So, this coming week, one kid will be out-of-uniform for 3 days of school, getting a demerit each day.

I informed my lawyer and he’ll reach out to her lawyer but that usually doesn’t have any effect.

Extra information: I currently have a restraining order against her for physical abuse during the marriage. This kind of coercive control is very common for her, though, this is the first time it will overtly impact a child.

What would you do?

Edit: To clarify, there’s a Monday formal uniform and daily uniforms, all embroidered with the school logo. So while I can buy more uniforms, it wouldn’t be practical to buy a formal uniform every 2 weeks, and embroidering takes about 2-3 weeks. I could buy more daily uniforms, but because of formal uniform day and our exchange timing, they would slowly end up at her house over time.

My ex and I have an 11 month old, we’re living in different towns about an hour apart. Right now, her dad’s days are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. He either picks her up or they hang out at our apartment. For a while of this arrangement, he was doing good abt letting me know abt her naps, how long, how she’s doing and if she’s eating. Well today I called to make sure they made it to his moms (ah hour away) and he sounded really snippy with me. I asked if she napped in the car and if she napped well. He told me “I’ve got it, this is a little much”. As in me asking about how our daughter is doing. I’m a ftm, and have been a stay at home mom her whole life. I just wanna know how she’s doing man. Am I being too much?

Edit: I just wanted to thank you guys for being so honest with me. Ik a lot of you probably get the anxiety and worry that comes with it, especially as someone with diagnosed anxiety and depression. The honesty is just super helpful, I’ve never gone through anything like this. My parents were highschool sweethearts and still together, I just have genuinely no clue on how to navigate all of this.

I’m in a co-parenting situation where my ex is pushing to change our current schedule, and the next step might involve going through a parenting arbitrator. I’m not asking for legal advice, but more curious what the experience is like.

If you’ve gone through arbitration around parenting schedules, what was it like for you? Was the process helpful, stressful, or did it make things more complicated?

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through

I am feeling guilty for pulling the trigger with my attorney for filing for supervised visits with my ex son is 4. I posted earlier this week because he got arrested for robbery (he stole a purse off a woman in a parking lot) and this included a possession charge (I saw it was indeed cocaine). I told my attorney and she suggested suspending parenting time. I was in the middle of saying no when I started telling her about the other things he's done and I felt like I couldn't do nothing so I asked for supervised visits instead.

We had supervised visits before (it was supposed to be his parents) because I divorced him because he was neglecting our infant son in the crib. His parents don't talk to me anymore and even at that stage felt burdened by having to be there for the visits.

They are probably leaving for Florida soon (they are snowbirds now). He lives with them. I'm feeling like I made the wrong decision, not that I can't change my mind but I need some support that I'm doing the right thing.

Right now he mostly picks him up from daycare and brings him back from overnights so I would have to deal with him more, right? I would have to transport him to/from daycare.

I also expect pushback from these people about how supervised visits aren't warranted but don't anticipate that he'll hire a family attorney because he never has has.

This is a person with a drug problem where it's clearly escalated to a point of desperation where he's committing robberies for drugs and then picking up my child 3 hours later. I try really hard too not make it about him but focus on the safety of my child and I just don't want to do the wrong thing.

Unfortunately, I had a medical episode a few years ago & because of the circumstances my own visits had to be supervised for a short period of time and because the situation was so complicated I ended up dropping the supervised visits on his end and we moved to 50/50 which we don't follow which drives me nuts in my own regard. I try to pin him down on a schedule but his jobs change so much that I try to accommodate his work schedule and I know this isn't right so I need help with this too. Right now I don't think he's working so I'm so l thinking about asking for a set schedule because there are just too many changes, all exacerbated by lies.

TLDR: My ex with a history of substance use (coke) used to have supervised visits, this was dropped, but now has escalating criminal charges including possession. My attorney suggested suspending parenting time but I asked for supervised visits and now I feel guilty & need support.

Is it normal every girl my co parent dates (3 girls in 2 years) to introduce them to our son and do outings/label them as family? I want to say something but at the end of the day i want to protect my peace as well. His life is his life, hes a pretty good dad.

For years I witnessed my ex change last minute plans with his first wife so I know this is just normal for him. He has our infant son on Sundays 2-5 because that was the only schedule that worked with his work and school schedule. Last week at 12 he called and said he’d been really sick for days and wouldn’t be getting him. Which is fine. This week he calls me at 12:55 on Saturday (today) and wants to come by and see him. He says something about he has to work on Sunday, he’s still sick (non contagious, it was related to over medication) and he’s on call for work today but his mom was in town. I’m trying to be flexible so I said I could meet them somewhere after I fed the baby lunch. Later I asked in a message if he wanted me to bring him by his place, or meet them inside the bookstore. I was under the impression they were just going to hangout for a bit since earlier he had only asked to come by and see him. He said to meet at the bookstore. When I got there he was adjusting the baby’s car seat and I asked if he was taking him and he just said yes. I asked what time I needed to meet him and he said I don’t know in a couple hours. I started to explain that it was my error I guess I had misunderstood the plan I guess and before I could finish speaking he walked away and got in his car.

This man is an awful communicator so this is not new. He of course says he’s fine and it’s everyone else who misunderstands him. He’s very angry with me for ending our marriage and I had to make harassment reports on him multiple times so now he will not communicate when I ask anything but expects me to answer when he asks questions.

Is there actually anything I can do to not make this such a nightmare for the next 18years 🫠