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u/Kokukai187 Feb 20 '25
I dgaf, someone pulls this on me, then I want 50/50 custody.
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u/PepsiThriller Feb 20 '25
I actually think that's totally fair. If I'm being expected to have the dads responsibility, I at least wanna enjoy time with the kid. I'm either a donor or I'm not.
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u/LtSoba ☣️ Feb 20 '25
From what I saw of the story, it was the actual state agency that went after the guy for a quick payday, cause they get a cut of the child support money, from my understanding the couple weren’t involved in bringing the case forward. Kansas is a weird state dude
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u/Kokukai187 Feb 20 '25
That may be true, but it wouldn't stop me from demanding the rights associated with having to fulfill the financial, fatherly role being forced on me.
And, yes, Kansas sucks. I used to live in Neodesha for a few years. Worked in Independence as a CO.
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u/Crackerfly Feb 20 '25
If you get a kid while in a lesbian relation ship you are two to share the cost. The other woman should of course pay for the kid in stead of the father. The whole point of the father paying is for single mothers not to be stuck with the whole bill alone.
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u/StrangerWithACheese Feb 20 '25
That's the reason spermbanks give (at least in my country) no sperm of a single man but a cocktail, so that even the bank can't tell who it could be
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u/Schatzin Feb 20 '25
Sounds like a DNA test would easily disrupt that
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u/StrangerWithACheese Feb 20 '25
If you go through the process of finding the 20 Men who want to remain anonymous, yeah
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u/VanceIX Feb 20 '25
Don’t need to find the men specifically, just takes the kid doing a genealogical test and they will likely have connections with others from the donor’s family. Doesn’t take a detective to figure out the identity from there.
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u/DearAndraste Feb 20 '25
Not everyone does those DNA tests though. I have shockingly very few matches that are close enough to deduce anything from. Though my family has lived in a poor rural area for generations, so it tracks that most of them don’t have the disposable income to pay for frivolous DNA testing
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u/OakenGreen Feb 20 '25
So you’re the one they connect through then. Sure, not everyone does it, but all it takes is one second cousin, and you’ve massively narrowed your field.
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u/SmugAssPimp Feb 20 '25
A dna test doesn’t have any value if you don’t know who you are comparing to.
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u/PrefiroMoto Feb 20 '25
Or they could do something even better and completely excuse the donor of any legal and economic responsibility if he donated by legal means, so even if they did find out who the donor is, they still can't force him to do anything regarding the child, which is what my country did
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u/StrangerWithACheese Feb 20 '25
Ok, after so many comments I dug into the justice matter of sperm donation in my country. I couldn't find any clear sources about the "sperm cocktail" to avoid child support, but I found much rather that (again in my country) a donor has no rights becoming the father but can't be forced to pay child support either.
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u/Chinjurickie Feb 21 '25
U can just make her sign a contract laying down all her claims on support no?
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u/in-a-microbus ☣️ Feb 20 '25
The big player is welfare. The moment mom asks for WIC the state is going to be all like "fuck no that's the dad's job"
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u/Popular-Row4333 Feb 20 '25
Yup, all this boils down to is the government isn't paying for it as long as they can find the next person down the line.
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u/djta94 Feb 20 '25
Would they pay WIC for father-mother couple?
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u/noddegamra Feb 20 '25
Like if it was father mother with a donor? Honestly I think they'd go after whoever is on the birth certificate. It seems pretty dubious to go after a donor, but at the same time I wouldn't be surprised.
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u/CostlierClover Feb 20 '25
Yeah, and fun fact: they don't even care about actual paternity.
I once had an income withholding order entered on me for a child my ex-wife had given birth to. We had both signed an affidavit saying the kid wasn't mine and that there was no way he could be (different race from both of us), had a court ordered paternity test done, and had the judges order saying I was required to pay no child support following the divorce.
Imagine my surprise when the Friend of the Court basically says "tough shit" and orders me to pay anyway. My attorney was able to sort this out in my state for a number of years but my ex apparently filed for support in another state recently (we're like 10-15 years later). Guess who Arizona thinks who's on the hook for child support again...
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u/AlleyCatDays Feb 20 '25
Dam that's frustrating. Was your ex wife trying to screw you over or was she trying to get support from the government and it was trying to pass the check to you?
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u/CostlierClover Feb 20 '25
She claims she was trying to get state benefits for the kid and expected them to go after the actual father instead. They ended up coming after me for it, saying I was the father because we were still legally married (although in the process of divorcing) at the time of birth.
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u/StraightsJacket Feb 20 '25
If she was trying to get State benefits like SNAP/TANF the State will automatically go after the marriage partner. Marriage establishes paternity unless challenged in court. This can also cause wages to automatically be garnished from a man who has no relation to the child if not fought early.
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u/in-a-microbus ☣️ Feb 20 '25
I wonder at what point you can sue the state for attempting paternity fraud?
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u/Michael_Dautorio Feb 20 '25
WIC? Like, walk-in closets?
/s
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u/FlipFlops1928 Feb 20 '25
I hate it when people give things acronyms like everyones gonna know what theyre on about
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u/Jmaster570 I have crippling depression Feb 20 '25
Just for anyone still wondering it's women, infants and children. Part of the us government aid programs.
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u/GodEmprahBidoof Feb 20 '25
What aid programs?
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u/boughtitout Feb 20 '25
US welfare programs for the poor and needy
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u/SupportGeek Feb 20 '25
I think the point was that President Musk is defunding WIC and other aid programs
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u/ShawshankException Feb 20 '25
It's because it's always just referred to as "WIC". It's a welfare program.
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u/Miximinion jojosexual Feb 20 '25
Always referred to? Where? In the US? Because I have never heard about it
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u/ShawshankException Feb 20 '25
That's great. Do you also get mad when people call it the NFL?
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u/Miximinion jojosexual Feb 20 '25
I don't care that you call it that way, but don't say "Oh they use the acronym because it's always used like that" when you know damn way you use it like that, not everyone
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u/Tylenolpainkillr I am fucking hilarious Feb 20 '25
Everyone I've ever heard say it just says WIC because chances are if you're talking about it you're in the bracket of people that can and do utilize it, thus they're familiar with it. It's pretty common. Like calling Food Stamps EBT.
Also saying "I buy my groceries with Women,Infant and Children." Can leave bad connotations
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u/Miximinion jojosexual Feb 20 '25
Wait mb you're not the one I was arguing with. Still, read the rest of my comments on the topic, it's pretty clear there
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u/D_Shizzle93 Feb 20 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
Why are you being a pedantic asshole for no reason. It would sound crazy for people to say Women Infant and Children when referring to WIC. Everyone that uses WIC calls it WIC. If you don't call it WIC it's cause you probably never had to actually talk to someone about it. And people use words like everyone, forever, or impossible even if they don't literally mean everyone, forever or impossible. Is this your first time speaking English?
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u/Miximinion jojosexual Feb 20 '25
You must be purposefully not understanding my point so you don't deserve my time, have a good one
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u/D_Shizzle93 Feb 20 '25
I'm definitely not but maybe you could explain it better. Cause it definitely seems like your confused
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u/ShawshankException Feb 20 '25
Literally everyone calls it WIC. If you needed to figure out what it was you could google "WIC". Obviously people from other countries wouldn't know that but that doesn't change the fact that everyone who does calls it WIC.
This isn't some acronym some niche community is using to describe things. Even our government almost always calls it WIC.
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u/Miximinion jojosexual Feb 20 '25
Again, I don't care that you use it or how easy it is to find, I'm telling you the problem is that "everyone" is the US for you, you live in a bubble and you don't realize it. You can use it as much as you want, you just need to be aware that if you say it online people won't know what the fuck you're talking about. You realize you said "Obviously some people don't know what it means, but everyone uses it". You're contradicting yourself and you don't even realize
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u/ShawshankException Feb 20 '25
I honestly don't understand how I'm not making my point clear. Is it also bad that people call it FIFA? Or the UK? Or NASA? People outside the US wouldn't know what it was even if we called it "Women, Infant, and Children". The problem isn't the use of an acronym.
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u/harpunenkeks Feb 20 '25
Just because half of reddit is US based that doesn't mean the other half doesn't also want to know whats going on
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u/not-a-gun-smuggler69 Feb 20 '25
The usa is only 4 percent of the global population, you are a niche community, also your government is about as competent as a toddler with a glock
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u/A_Crawling_Bat Feb 20 '25
I have not clue what the NFL (or WIC) is. If I was talking about CAF you would most likely not know what it is, but it's how people call it so it's not an issue
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u/tendaga Feb 20 '25
Ok so what's the CAF?
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u/A_Crawling_Bat Feb 20 '25
It's always just reffered as "CAF", it's the welfare agency here.
(Caisse d'Assurance Française)
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u/Kermit_Purple_II Feb 20 '25
You realise people outside the US have no idea what NFL stands for?
Worst thing is, now that I say that, I had to look it up. I thought it was Basketball, but now I see it's National Football League. It's american football. It's not a sport played in my country, and my country has two national football leagues. Your NFL makes no sense to me. It makes no sense outside the US.
It just doesn't.
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u/Sentinalprime03 Feb 20 '25
Women, infants children, something grocery stores use, but walk-in closets is close enough
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u/TheImperiousDildar Feb 20 '25
If you don’t know WIC, you should probably touch grass
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u/StanCorr Feb 20 '25
Not everyone lives in north america you pillock. Why would I know your acronyms? I don’t have any reason to know my own UK ones let alone some other random country’s.
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u/TheImperiousDildar Feb 20 '25
So sorry, wasn’t expecting a shout out from the third world
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u/StanCorr Feb 27 '25
My dude, I am not a UK fan, I pay too much tax and the gov seems to be actively working to enshitify everything, but I’d still rather be here than the usa. Like, have you seen the state of your country right now? The actual buying power of most of your people is less than the average citizens of a good few third world countries, not to mention the fact that your entire leadership is made up of crazed, lead poisoned geriatrics voted in out of fear of the unknown by other crazed, lead poisoned geriatrics (and a few gullible idiots).
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u/patomik Feb 20 '25
Is this also in Europe? Never heard of welfare or WIC so I'm curious what even are these.
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u/sc_an_mi Feb 20 '25
WIC is assistance with food and baby formula but like specifically for infants and small kids, and only certain sizes of certain things and it's very limited. Welfare is cash assistance, or housing assistance, or could even be EBT which is food assistance (but unlike WIC you can get whatever you want up to your monthly limit). I've even heard government healthcare assistance like Medicaid called welfare, so basically if you receive any help from the US government based on your income you could be considered on welfare.
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u/patomik Feb 20 '25
Oh got it, we have something similar in Europe but I don't think it's called welfare or WIC. Thank you for explaining
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u/Blyatman95 Feb 20 '25
In the U.K. we have a catch all term called “benefits”. Sort of a slang umbrella for if you receive any money from the Government for any reason. Your eligibility is primarily linked to, but not always, your household income.
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u/sentimental_rocks Feb 20 '25
In germany everyone with children gets it
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u/The_Lapsed_Pacifist Feb 20 '25
Yeah, everyone in the UK receives child benefit as well. High earners pay tax on it but you can forgo the payments and receive National Insurance credit instead, that’s for your state pension.
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u/ZZerker Feb 20 '25
The most insane thing about this is, that they can change laws about this for retroactively, so even if in your country the laws for this allow you to do it legally safe, they can change that.
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u/shimapan_connoisseur Feb 20 '25
No. Any sperm bank/donation center will have contracts protecting the donor even in the case of a law change. This guy was chased because they didn’t do it through the correct legal framework for donation but rather freestyled it
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u/RaiN_Meyk3r 2009 Twitter Battle 11th Squadron Veteran Feb 20 '25
and he was chased by the court not the mothers.
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u/BenitoBruv INFECTED Feb 20 '25
If it's in the US, no. That's literally the definition of ex post facto law and it's one of the few rights citizens have written in the constitution before the bill of rights was added.
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u/socalclimbs Feb 20 '25
Post the source or this is a boring post
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u/E4g6d4bg7 Feb 20 '25
The ruling was overturned and mother's wife/girlfriend was ruled to be the second guardian.
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u/LovesRetribution Feb 20 '25
From what I remember some guy donated sperm to a couple, but didn't do it the traditional way. Or rather the legal way. I guess there's a bunch of shit you sign when you donate sperm in an actual facility that ensures you have no obligations to whatever becomes of it. They didn't do that, so he didn't have any legal defense since it was the legal equivalent to having sex with her. So he kinda fucked himself, but that that's also pretty fucked of them to do that.
If you want the full thing just Google it. Not hard to do.
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u/LtSoba ☣️ Feb 20 '25
If I remember correctly it wasn’t actually the couple themselves that went after them but the actual courts. I remember seeing this before, where some niche interpretation of the law allows the court to go over the heads of the parent in certain cases when they apply for benefits
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u/SCViper Seal Team sixupsidedownsix Feb 20 '25
My sister dated someone who did that. Army guy. They both wanted their own kids to raise together. After 5 years, the lesbian couple split and they both came after him for child support.
Had a heart attack a year later.
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u/Pappa_Crim Feb 20 '25
some states require you to seek money from the father before getting welfare benefits. Most of these states are also conservative and apt to pull a real dick move with a lesbian couple
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Feb 20 '25
[deleted]
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u/Common_Trouble_1264 Feb 20 '25
I did hear about this. Just cant remember if from reddit or the real world
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u/supe3rnova Feb 20 '25
Real question, you get paid to donate sperm?
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u/BartOseku Feb 20 '25
Yes same as blood donations and most other donations, we cant really rely on people thinking “hmm i think today is a good day to wank in a hospital” to keep sperm banks going
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u/Darth_Mak Feb 20 '25
Oh I remember this. The lesbian couple didn't come after him. The government did, unprompted due to applying some badly written or outdated law. Don't remember hearing of a resolution.
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u/diarrhea_planet Feb 20 '25
The dude signed a contract from a Craigslist ad. Not a sperm bank. He did no have to pay child support in the end. It got appealed to a higher court and we won.
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u/TheHistroynerd Feb 20 '25
Where I live you can't get sue the sperm Doner for child support as long as it's an official donation that was handled by a Sperm Bank. If you donate it in private it's a different story.
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u/Spenserssm Feb 21 '25
I helped out a lesbian couple. Before I started giving them donations we signed a legal document rescinding my parental rights of the child. The baby is all theirs and they couldn't be happier!
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Feb 20 '25
[deleted]
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Feb 20 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/tomwtfbro Feb 20 '25
Before clicking on this (I’ll edit if I’m wrong) I’m assuming it’s the gay man who donated his sperm via sex with a lesbian couple and was forced to pay child support years on. If my memory serves me correctly I believe it’s because he didn’t sign any sperm donorship papers or anything legal. So it was just considered a scummy move by everyone because the birthing parent and her partner didn’t work out so she decided to receive money from someone who only wanted to help out.
Edit: I was wrong this happens often I’m disappointed in humanity
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u/bargle0 Feb 20 '25
via sex
FTA:
Legal documents say Schreiner was impregnated with a syringe in early 2009.
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u/deanrihpee Feb 20 '25
I mean we invade each other's country, you should have been disappointed way earlier, but yeah… that's humanity for you
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u/tomwtfbro Feb 20 '25
Yeah ur right, we kinda bad. I think bees would be sad at how we structured our society, maybe god gave the wrong creatures consciousness. Then again we nailed the working till you die part
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u/deanrihpee Feb 20 '25
I don't think it's the consciousness specifically, it's probably more of intelligence, i mean look at dolphins, they're smart and they're an asshole in the ocean, although I'm not sure if it's worse or not to imagine dolphins also have "work till you die" as well
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u/LtSoba ☣️ Feb 20 '25
From what it says there it seems the motion was filed on behalf of the state department of Children not the actual couple themselves, this is the local government trying to prey on people that didn’t want to spend huge amounts of money going through the proper channels and so they can get their cut of the money. Fucking slimy ass bureaucrats
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u/Im-a-bad-meme Feb 20 '25
Remember peeps. When handling fertility matters, always go through official channels and always have a contract.
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u/Naturally_Fragrant Feb 20 '25
So two women wanted to play at parenting, but weren't ever actually prepared to be parents.
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u/TomaszA3 Feb 20 '25
Very country dependent.