r/dankmemes • u/Morzheimer • May 03 '25

Big PP OC Seems like a skill issue

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17.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.7k

u/Sebbe_2 May 03 '25

Gorilla here. Your argument is stupid.

There are about 1000 silverbacks left, and 8 billion of you.

1 of us vs 100 of you in a fist fight, is not comparable to 1 of us vs 8 million of you with guns.

Yes, you are currently winning. But only because you are cheating.

Give us a fair fight, and you pussies wont even stand a chance.

221

u/SPARTAN-233 May 03 '25

When the monkey realises our brain to body ratio is better than his brain to body ratio

140

u/waxonwaxoff87 May 03 '25

Also a bigger penis. Largest dong amongst primates.

89

u/CrimsonAllah Eic memer May 03 '25

Humans still keep winning

27

u/Senxind May 04 '25

I'm not

17

u/Dr_Dressing May 04 '25

He said humans (invisible asterisk). You're a subspecies called loner-and-doesn't-go-out, which doesn't mean you've lost, but maybe that you haven't tried. Still better than gorillas, ez W no re.

6

u/Senxind May 04 '25

I was talking about my penis

1

u/Stew-of-Thruth25 May 06 '25

Yours is probably bigger than a gorilla! they are seriously tiny!!

37

u/bargle0 May 03 '25

The 100 men will expose themselves to the gorilla, and the gorilla will die of shame.

9

u/AdmiralLaserMoose May 03 '25

... I mean, are you gonna bang the ape?

8

u/CanAlwaysBeBetter May 04 '25

I guarantee someone out there would pay good money to see a 100-on-1 gorilla gangbang 

2.0k

u/Admiral_Hipper_ May 03 '25

Cheating? Sounds like a skill issue to me

595

u/Bluefire3215 May 03 '25

No such thing as cheating in conflict

155

u/bytelines ☣️ May 03 '25

Rule 13: do unto others

158

u/ChefAtRandom May 03 '25

Before they do unto you

31

u/Bluefire3215 May 03 '25

I was going to say something similar to this. Do it to them so they don't get a chance to do it to you

14

u/ChefAtRandom May 03 '25

I think you might enjoy this.

https://schlockmercenary.fandom.com/wiki/The_Seventy_Maxims_of_Maximally_Effective_Mercenaries

Also, Google Skippys list of 213 things he is no longer allowed to do in the army. Good reading lol.

2

u/RK_NightSky ☢️ May 04 '25

Do unto others new additions to the list of warcrimes that were not yet discussed in the geneva convention because for haha funnies?

7

u/makerofrages May 03 '25

The Geneva conventions would like a word with you

37

u/Coltrain47 May 03 '25

Gorillas weren't part of the Geneva Convention, so nothing we do to them is a war crime.

-9

u/Cat7o0 May 03 '25

I think the Geneva convention says otherwise

15

u/pimpmastahanhduece The Meme Cartel☣️ May 04 '25

They're welcome to make their own arsenals.

1

u/zacthrall May 04 '25

So if I give the gorilla a machine gun your still all good to go toe to toe? Wanna make sure it’s balanced after all.

101

u/Pineapple_for_scale May 03 '25

start farming and upgrade your tech tree noob.

66

u/DontReadUsernames May 03 '25

You are free to make your own guns but have not. Seems like a gorilla issue

104

u/[deleted] May 03 '25

Learn to make better tools

68

u/EfficaciousJoculator May 03 '25

Gorillas put all their evolutionary skill points into muscle mass. Humans put all of theirs into brains.

Us using guns to fight you is the fair fight. No different than a bird utilizing sticks to eat bugs.

13

u/LimerickExplorer May 04 '25

We actually have quite a bit of muscle too. Humans are pretty strong and we can apply our strength in greater variety of ways than any other animal.

6

u/CanAlwaysBeBetter May 04 '25

We literally divert protein from our muscles to our brain in a way that's unique compared to other mammals, we absolutely max our brain vs brawn

3

u/AceGamingStudios May 04 '25

And even after putting all their perks into muscle, they can't punch. Yeah. Gorillas can only swing their hands, not actually punch.

47

u/Cjames1902 Animated Flair Pulse [Insert Your Own Text May 03 '25

But it’s not cheating when you turn my homie into Colgate toothpaste with a single punch 😭

13

u/jwwendell May 03 '25

mad cuz bad, why don't you invent your own guns then huh?

13

u/Helpful_Title8302 May 03 '25

I think 8 billion people could take 1000 silverbacks without using guns.

13

u/Grokent The Filthy Dank May 03 '25

Guns? We're gonna light your jungle on fire and your children's bones will fertilize our palm oil plantation.

What do you mean you haven't figured out fire yet?

9

u/yallmad4 May 03 '25

Y'all had the same earth to work with we did. Y'all didn't do anything and we made nature our bitch to the point that we accidentally extinct stuff all the time.

The mechanics we used were in the game the whole time. Cope.

27

u/Tulscro The Dude May 03 '25

1 of us vs 100 of you in a fist fight, is not comparable to 1 of us vs 8 million of you with guns.

Pretty sure his argument is "if gorillas are so tough why are they going extinct by our mistakes" aka greenhouse gasses deforestation etc. Basically we are beating the gorillas in this theoretical war without actually fighting them, they are just losing to us being pigs lmao

7

u/Divy4m_ May 03 '25

Why don't you try and mess with us?

11

u/Mayel_the_Anima May 03 '25

You’ve got thumbs, use them

6

u/TheOneCalledD May 03 '25

If you can type to us you can figure out how to make and use your own guns.

4

u/DerpWyvern May 03 '25

it was a fair fight, dumbass, we won real hard hence the population difference we have today

5

u/Kiyan1159 May 03 '25

If you're not cheating you're not trying.

Or too stupid to figure it out.

4

u/losteye_enthusiast May 04 '25 edited May 04 '25

Not allowed complex tools?

Okay. As a guerilla you have little to no concept of sleep schedules or time. Zero education on how to fuck up another creature, etc

Ain’t going to be hard at all to ambush the gorilla and damage it’s eyes, then run like hell. Not difficult to break off a branch and make an end pointy, then shove it into the ear, eye or ass. I’ll shit on it first.

Or I’ll just dig out a couple holes and wedge sharp branches into the bottom, again covered with that losteye special sauce. Bury it loosely in dirt and then throw rocks at said gorilla till it comes running.

Gorillas are strong as hell, but they ain’t built to handle any basic mechanism humans have used for thousands of years to survive.

3

u/barbrady123 May 04 '25

So brawn is ok when brawn is in your favor , but brains is not ok when brains are not in your favor. K. Also, we didn't inherit guns with the earth

3

u/Dani3L_1917 May 04 '25

Complaining that we use guns is like complaining that chimps use sticks and rocks, we're just making use of the earth around us, nothing stopping you from industrialising

15

u/Menination May 03 '25

Fellow ape here. We demand the weapons for fair fights

2

u/The-Razzle May 03 '25

My favorite documentary is planet of the apes

2

u/Whole_Speed3426 ☣️ May 04 '25

Maybe now, but when we started out it was probably a lot more even and we didn’t have guns back then. Humanity is playing the long game…

1

u/delphic0n May 03 '25

You literally need a human who's bored on the internet to pretend to be you and defend your species on their forums

1

u/tapirus-indicus May 03 '25

What about a sneeze fight?

1

u/Edgar_Allen_Yo May 03 '25

We aren't cheating, just better with tools. Evolve nerd

1

u/blingping May 04 '25

Gorillas have fists, we have guns. Deal with it lol

1

u/Rhettledge May 04 '25

A fair flight would be using anything at your disposal. If my arsenal is snares, tiger pits, and spears and theirs is a fistful of shit, how is it even remotely close?

1

u/phoenix5irre May 04 '25

Lol, fuck more or something then...

1

u/Bobblefighterman May 04 '25

Why should the race always go to the swift, or the jumble to the quick-witted?

I say cheating is a gift man gives himself.

1

u/Tone-Serious May 04 '25

We gave you a fair fight for a few million years, how did that turned out?

1

u/gwapogi5 May 04 '25

looks like Gorilla has a skill issue of not making a more effective tool for fighting

1

u/RK_NightSky ☢️ May 04 '25

Cheating? Nah mate it's called evolution. Just because we're smarter and evolved to a much higher state doesn't mean we're cheating. Now square tf up or have a taste of this brand new XM7 with absolutely bonkers .277 Fury ammunition.

1

u/hullor May 04 '25

Chimpanzee here. Its not even their guns. They're destroying our homes and food sources. Its literal guerilla warfare

1

u/Dreadnought_69 May 04 '25

Well that’s not a good reason for me to fight fair 🙃

1

u/SpicyMango92 ☣️ May 04 '25

Yep. Realizing that a silverback has a bite force of 1300psi, can lift roughly 1700lbs/800kg and is literally 400 lbs of muscle and sinew….. of this is a weapons free fight, Gorilla is taking this one. If the humans get spears, so does Monke

1

u/Stainamou May 04 '25

Sorry Mr. Gorilla. 100 people will still very easily fuck up one of you.

1

u/claycam6 May 04 '25

Sounds like the gorillas are inferior cause they didn't invent weapons. Too bad.

1

u/mordakiisyn May 04 '25

Maybe you should pick up a gun and l learn how to drive. Ever thought of that Mr gorilla? Level the playing field.

1

u/Teyodee May 04 '25

You know what they say, if you find yourself in a fair fight one of you screwed up

1

u/WhatAYolk May 04 '25

Humans using tools is not cheating, it's literally one of the biggest reasons why we are at the top of the food chain

1

u/asdf_qwerty27 the very best, like no one ever was. May 04 '25

Guerilla warfare is effective when humans use it. You should try that.

1

u/Hasyr Animated Flair Pulse [Insert Your Own Text May 05 '25

Seems like skill issue, just evolve

1

u/Stew-of-Thruth25 May 06 '25

Developing opposable thumbs and big brains is not cheating... maybe try some evolution!!

We loved Harambe by the way!!

1

u/Shadowborn_paladin May 08 '25

Go develop your own civilization then.

1

u/DogwhistleStrawberry May 31 '25

Humanoid here. Don't tempt them.

They can cram tiny suns into devices and vaporize your entire forest. You might not remember, but the battle started as 1 human vs the entire gorilla species. They bred and invented.

You could use tools too, but it's too late now.

1

u/Enough-Speed-5335 Jun 03 '25

That’s the neat part, it’s never a fair fight Never bring a fist to an automatic weapon fight