Tbh, being told to "Man up" or "You're a man! Figure it out!" Has become more and more of a philosophy of mine over the last 10-15 years that has helped me more than anything else.
I am a man, I can solve my own fucking problems. Probably yours too.
Glad it works for you, for me it was really the opposite as I was struggling with depression.
Having my friends tell me to man up when i can't even get out of bed in the morning without crying for 30 minutes didn't really do wonders for my situation.
Both the original and your response seems to be using the phrase in very different ways. One is something’s needs doing, just get it done. The other is yourself and taking care of your mental health. Hope you get better soon pal, you got this!
I think people get confused about what its supposed to mean to man up. It gets used alot to say stop being depressed or injured but really its just about getting whatever needs done. Gotta fix something but dont want to? Man up and do it. Feelings got you in a slump isnt something to exactly man up to. You need some help
Stoicism is actually pretty based. I'm learning and feeling that more and more as the years go on. I can be soft with my wife, but I must be sober and stone to the world. Unmoving, unyielding. Defend what I know is right and moral, and let others become the cautionary tale of their own demise.
It's not "reject everything" it's "put everything to the fire". Why accept what will only make you weaker? Why replace stone foundations with clay? Someone else will walk on it and deform and destroy it with no effort. Stone requires work and dedication to change, and only work and dedication should change you.
It’s not about what it’s supposed to mean, the fact is there are a preponderance of dudes who do use it inappropriately and that’s damaging for dudes on the receiving end who try to apply it where it was used with toxicity. It’s basically toxic social support in those cases.
I thought that too, but internalizing the meaning and breaking it down led me to a deeper understand of what being a man is, and how to become a higher version of that. I genuinely believe the modern understanding of "man up" is far and large a perversion of the true and more wholesome, and meaningful, meaning.
Yeah I always took it with a healthy grain of salt. Feelings are complicated but I gotta do the dishes abs laundry regardless of how I feel. I can man up and solve those problems and still have negative feelings.
It's also a good yoyo your on your own in a lot od things.
No one else has the power to pull you out of that state of mind but you. The best time to Man up was yesterday the second best time is today. And if not today there is always tomorrow. We are rooting for you and so were your friends.
It's more like... The only person who can help you is you. No one understands the inner struggle like you do, so use your head and dig in. You got this and no one else can.
This is true but this process itself is complemented or enhanced by people around us. We are social animals which helps us and if it didn't we wouldn't have evolved to be social.
Absolutely, I joined a fencing club and the feeling of brotherhood is definitely something that I realize now was what was missing. I definitely recommend it.
See some people can actively reach for help but for some humans the problems are of such nature that society don't help with,. Who will they reach to if in response they are just told to just man up. They will feel helpless and shameful for their entire existence. Hence though helpful for some the idea of "just man up" does not apply to every circumstance.
I agree with this 100%. We are inherent problem solvers and its when we can't solve our problems and feel powerless. This is where I believe a lot of male depression comes from.
I also think we need to rework the meaning behind "Man up". To me, it doesn't mean stuff your emotions down and pretend they aren't there, it means contain them and don't let them sweep you away.
Think of a captain in his leadership role. If he ever becomes overwhelmed with his emotions and is swept away by them, especially in front of his subordinates, the subordinates begin to develop uncertainty and distrust in their captain and his ability to stay grounded and commandeer towards the objective. The captain, however, should still feel his feelings because he is human.
I'm sure this will be downvoted but i think therapy is better for women. For men it's better to just go run or hike or punch a bag for an hour or something. Not really to "man up" I just think being active solves many of men's inner issues and talking about feelings works better for women.
It absolutely is. Men aren't women. Women aren't men. We think, feel, and react differently to the exact same stimuli. Women feel better talking, men feel better doing.
My first real experience of understanding how to combat depression was my friend grabbing my wrist and dragging me outside. He told me we were going for a run. We ended up at his place and told me we were gonna be lifting. The fucker knew what he was doing better than any fucking psychologist.
Running, lifting, exercise, I hadn't felt that alive in years. It fucking hurt, but man it was the best feeling. I didn't feel like rot, I didn't feel that constant weight in my limbs, I didn't feel like death. I felt powerful, I felt strong, I couldn't lift much but the way it felt was so much more.
Men are object(physically) oriented. Women are subject(people) oriented. This is a fact and before anyone throws a bitch fit, exceptions do not make the rule.
Honestly though. Just doing the shit you know you should do as a man does wonders. Get outta bed. Do something outside or physical. Fix something. Sick of people shitting on masculinity as a whole instead of defining it properly and leaning into it
You will find help, it could have happened more quickly and less painfully if society didn't have a "just man up" attitude and shamed you and rejected you while you were going through hell but still you will succeed and then you will try to make people aware that how much this attitude is hurting already hurt people.
Idk. I find it all rather toxic. BEING a man doesnt mean you’re not allowed to have problems, or need help having problems. Teaching people how to resolve their issues, and teaching that it’s alright to need help understanding how to resolve those issues doesn’t make anyone less of anything.
Showing your kids that it’s okay to cry when you are feeling like it will do much more for them in the long run than “appearing hard” will ever do. Emotions will always come back no matter what, dealing with them in the moment can be the best thing to do in a lot of situations. Obviously there are times when you need to stuff them like in dangerous situations but always being “hard” isn’t going to help anyone.
You should always expect to be the person of last resort in any situation, since that's the only person you can assume will be there when you need them. But people get too carried away with that notion and start forcing it as the norm.
Just because you can go it alone, doesn't mean that you won't still massively benefit by hiring experts to do things right, instead of constantly relying on half-assed amateur bullshit. This is especially true when it comes to working out the shit in our heads, since we're often too embedded to effectively treat issues.
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u/Kiyan1159 Jun 05 '25
Tbh, being told to "Man up" or "You're a man! Figure it out!" Has become more and more of a philosophy of mine over the last 10-15 years that has helped me more than anything else.
I am a man, I can solve my own fucking problems. Probably yours too.