Ah yes. That one month out of the Year where we are reminded we really don't matter because the only time people mention this month is jokes/memes/"what-about-me" online.
My sister said without shame that dudes need their own spaces. They need their own places where they can go where it's just men only. That she doesn't understand why a lot of those clubs and bars went away. Because it's obvious that sometimes dudes just need to hang out with other dudes.
......
I'm proud of myself over how calmly and rationally I explained to her those places used to exist until a certain group of people decided that it was not fair. And had most of those places either shut down or become all inclusive. Allowing everybody to be there. Not just dudes
And she's not young and doe eyed. She's in her early 40s. So she knows very well that those places used to exist. And the process of how they were attacked and shut down or forced to change
Boy scouts are now the scouts and that's one less place for young boys to meet good male role models. We see the pattern repeating. Most school teachers are women, especially early in childhood.
There's just a huge void for young boys to find good male role models and learn what it means to be a gentleman and someone who can contribute to society.
People say it was necessary or they would have had to shut their doors. But if anything that just shows how much boy scouts have been ignored for decades. It just emphasizes the overall problem
Okay at the risk of being overwhelmingly jumped on I'm just going to say one thing and then mute this comment thread.
Some places that used to only allow men to go hang out there were forced by local laws to be all inclusive and allow non-men to be there..... What group do you think made those laws happen?
They treated men's spaces like smoking bans. In many jurisdictions they straight up make laws saying that it was discriminatory to only have places where men could go.
Meanwhile those same places have establishments where the other side of the argument is able to go where men are not allowed. And it's not discriminatory. And there are no laws against that.
There you go. That's why guys have no places to hang out and just be guys. With other guys. And nobody else around.
It's necessary for all groups. Every group of people should be able to interact amongst themselves without worrying about other groups being forced amongst them
Lastly I will say I'm a liberal, married, have a daughter and no hatred towards women. Before anybody starts going off about how I voted for Trump you can kindly check yourself and just not hit reply
Yes and in today's world it's so easy to just meet people online without real world places that they are likely to congregate. After all gen Z is having such an excellent time finding a partner in that kind of social atmosphere.
checks notes
Almost 60% gen Z is either single or has never had a partner
These places are necessary for all groups. I even said that in my comment. Without these real world places where people are able to congregate and interact you're not going to be able to establish the same social paradigms as previous generations.
Social media and the digital space can't replicate that. Unless you want to suggest it's easier to meet real world people online than in the real world.....
yeah, I agree that the internet, and particularly social media, changed our social lives for the worse. But resegregating public places just isn't the solution
And as soon as you mentioned the word resegregating you instantly make people think race, disability or other General factors. And that's a completely wrong way to look at it.
But it's an easy way to shut somebody down and make them look as if they are just a bigot. So well done on that at least. This is Reddit after all. It was expected
Social acceptance. Understanding that these places exist for a reason and not feeling the need to encroach on them, harass them or ask local officials to make rulings against their establishment.
Because you can't build laws about this. You can't even build the framework for these laws or they could be used against multiple groups of people.
We had those laws before. Which is why we did away with them
Which is also why they lump all of these things into General discrimination or exclusion policy and legislature. Because people wanted it done. And they had to do it in a way that didn't bring back segregationist legal framework that can be manipulated.
If being a progressive means one thing it means pushing forward while trying very hard not to bring back evils of the past. And it's very hard to do it the right way. As we've seen over the past 15 years or so
Conservatives avoid this problem by just being stuck in the past.
Guys acting like there aren't a myriad of places, events or hobbies that people can involve themselves in to develop social connections as if we live in some fucking police state. Off-loading personal responsibility to external factors.
You can list off your myriad of places in the real world where these things still exist. And I continuously can list off all the places that have disappeared for multiple groups.
And the myriad of places that exist today existed before. So it's not like new places came about in abundance to replace everything else that went away.
Can also include simple book clubs in this. For a few decades women had their weekly self-help support group disguised as a meeting to talk about literature. And it was very helpful.
Guys went fishing. Or to the club (self Health group disguised as a drinking den) to offload their problems on three or four other dudes
Now neither gender has those things. Neither group really has the ability to just be by themselves easily like that. And it's translated to a complete dating, marriage and divorce crisis hitting multiple age groups.
The only way to reverse this is by allowing firm limitations on what we consider discriminatory based on who's allowed to participate in a place or event. Everything was fine when we considered race, disability and other factors in this.
But we broke the entire system as soon as we started to take away everybody's individual group space.
I've been going to raves, clubs, festivals, bars, fishing, shooting, coffee shops, etc.
This is shit I figured out at 18, gimmie a break.
Sure, the decline of 3rd spaces has become apparent, but at the end of the day, you've got to grow tf up and hold yourself accountable to leave the house and create relationships with people.
Men aren't confined to their homes like prisoners.
I've met plenty of Gen-Z men and women who are socialized healthily because they involve themselves in social hobbies.
There is no correlation between who people think matters and who actually matters. The person from 200 years ago who invented indoor plumbing matters more than all world leaders today combined
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u/ProfessionalCreme119 Jun 05 '25
Ah yes. That one month out of the Year where we are reminded we really don't matter because the only time people mention this month is jokes/memes/"what-about-me" online.
My sister said without shame that dudes need their own spaces. They need their own places where they can go where it's just men only. That she doesn't understand why a lot of those clubs and bars went away. Because it's obvious that sometimes dudes just need to hang out with other dudes.
......
I'm proud of myself over how calmly and rationally I explained to her those places used to exist until a certain group of people decided that it was not fair. And had most of those places either shut down or become all inclusive. Allowing everybody to be there. Not just dudes
And she's not young and doe eyed. She's in her early 40s. So she knows very well that those places used to exist. And the process of how they were attacked and shut down or forced to change