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u/InfamousCoty Dec 27 '22
All that fake moaning really works the lungs. Ha.
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u/55_jumbo Dec 27 '22
Not to mention all the pain when she is dry as a desert
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u/yoursexypapi Hover Text Dec 27 '22
Dessert would at least get eaten
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u/bloodpilgrim Dec 27 '22
It’s a lot of work to be disappointed
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u/XanderTheMander Dec 27 '22
Boom, roasted.
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u/QueentakesPawn Dec 27 '22
"Stanley, you crush your wife during sex, and your heart sucks."'
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u/RewrittenSol Dec 27 '22
"Angela? Where's Angela? Oh, there you are. I didn't see you standing behind that grain of rice. Boom roasted."
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u/_dCkO Dec 27 '22
Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted.
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u/grouchypanda Dec 27 '22
Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted.
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u/Majestic_Mousse_748 Dec 27 '22
Oscar! You’re gay!
Andy! Cornell called and they think you suck…. And you’re gayer than Oscar. BOOM. Roasted.
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u/Jerky_Joe Dec 27 '22
I dated a woman for around 4 1/2 years that was like this. Then a couple years after we split up, she died of non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I always thought she was just a slacker but she was sick… 🙁
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u/princessnoala Dec 27 '22
Damn
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u/Jerky_Joe Dec 27 '22
Yeah, I know. And I found out on break at work reading the obituaries. I never even got to say goodbye to her.
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u/princessnoala Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
Hopefully she’s living up to her full potential in Heaven I suppose
EDIT: stop downliking, I’m awkward and I didn’t know how to respond
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u/SnooEpiphanies3336 Dec 27 '22
Definitely using "downliking" from now on
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u/Jerky_Joe Dec 27 '22
I still have our picture and her obituary saved. Not sure why, but I can’t throw it away.
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u/princessnoala Dec 27 '22
I have an obituary saved of a guy I was with once before I met my boyfriend, we were great friends before we had sex and it made things weird. I met my boyfriend who I’m still with months later and never talked to the guy again. He died a couple years later. I had to go to the funeral.
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u/NSFWhacking Dec 27 '22
That’s why I feel it’s important to keep a good standing with your ex. You don’t want any unnecessary resentment or anger there. I feel like given 4 years that it’s not something you took lightly and I’m sure they knew you cared about them even if you didn’t get to say goodbye.
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u/Shacrow Dec 27 '22
I wish more people thought this way. Why is it weird to care for someone you loved?
The answer is obvious i guess. Most people break up in very ugly ways and the key issue is that they don't know how to solve problems and communicate
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u/TerrorSnow Dec 27 '22
I went out of a relationship pretty fucked up, partly my own issues partly my ex-partner's. A lot of resentment, anger, guilt, and sadness was left over that never got addressed. Recently reached out, because I wanted to apologize for my part in it, even though most of the blame could easily be put on my ex-partner. I did not expect the answer that I got (it was positive, acknowledging, self reflective, and supportive) and it fucked me up for a bit, because I was not ready to hear anything positive from the other side regarding that. Ultimately, it was a good decision. People can change for the better, people can learn from mistakes and experiences. Try to do the same yourself at all times.
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u/ijustwannasaveshit Dec 27 '22
Yeah. I'm disabled and my bf isn't. That's usually why I'm tired and in a lot of pain after. I love the act but a lot of times I have to decide if I am horny enough to deal with the fact that my hips and back are going to hurt most of the time.
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u/fadedmandarin Dec 27 '22
Have you ever read any books about having sex while disabled? Highly recommend if not! "The ultimate guide to sex and disability" is a start, if interested.
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Dec 27 '22
Harsh reminder of why we should maybe give our partners the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming they're just cold.
I'm so sorry.
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u/PossiblyTrustworthy Dec 27 '22
Pffftt, are you going to suggest cOmmUnICtInG too?
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u/gosefi Dec 27 '22
My parter died of cancer this year. Tough battle. Large tumor in the chest. We had almost the same discovery. Very tired after things that shouldn’t wear you out. Its crucial to pay attention to stuff like that.
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u/bobmunob Dec 27 '22
I dated a girl with an autoimmune disease. We broke up after about 4 months(which is a long relationship for me at the time) we stayed good friends though. She didn't tell me she was sick for 5 years after we broke up. I was like wtf, that makes a lot of sense. She died last year sadly. Stupid covid.
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u/Invite_Sprite Dec 27 '22
Why don't you give her a strap on and see why she gets tired.
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u/55_jumbo Dec 27 '22
I'm actually behind this experiment
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u/FinalRun Dec 27 '22
You'll be in front of it soon enough
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u/GlaerOfHatred Dec 27 '22
Lol done this, girl got tired even faster. Too many people are just straight out of shape
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u/vk136 Dec 27 '22
You don’t even need a strap on lol! Just tell her to ride you and see how fast she gets tired!
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u/wallabrush99 Dec 27 '22
It's the only path to understanding and true enlightenment.
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u/knbang Dec 27 '22
That's the other side of the coin. I think getting railed by a strapon would be quiet exhausting. I'd spend the entire time trying not to cry.
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u/gladtobethe1peryen Dec 27 '22
Depends on how you do it. Of course it will hurt if you plow with brute force. Having a partner you trust, starting off slow and generous usage of lube make it really fun ..... Someone told me ofc
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u/Corn-Memes I did the epic gamer moment(gon wild) (gon secksual) Dec 27 '22
^ gets pegged every day
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Dec 27 '22
They never never never let me fuck them this way.
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u/SatansGothestFemboy Dec 27 '22
Who is they? I'm certainly not they
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u/SegwayToursInHell hahaha i'm so fucking sad omg hahaha Dec 27 '22
Too right, receiving looks exhausting honestly
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Dec 27 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/55_jumbo Dec 27 '22
15 minutes of begging, 1 minute of action, 4 minutes of regretting
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u/Hovit_os Dec 27 '22
The 1 minute includes undressing before and dressing up afterwards right?
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u/csmiki04 Dec 27 '22
Ah yes, sex. I too have sex with my beautiful girlfriend.
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u/REDDITOR_00000000015 Dec 27 '22
Same. My GF is a super model, but goes to a different school so thats why no ones met her.
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u/gladtobethe1peryen Dec 27 '22
Why are people so easily offended and toxic about this? That's kind of sad
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u/poopellar big pp gang Dec 27 '22
Internet is full of people thinking they are "experts" in things they have no experience in.
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u/pratyush103 Meme Template Trader🤲📜☣️ Dec 27 '22
"sexperts"
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u/ChoppedAlready Dec 27 '22
I have a degree on my wall and I can’t even see it
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u/TheCosplayCave Dec 27 '22
Also, this thread isn't for kids. Which I only mention so all the babies out there know how cool they are for reading it. What's up, you cool babies?
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u/TheCosplayCave Dec 27 '22
A small acquaintance has blossomed into a precious friendship.
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u/Cr0ma_Nuva Dec 27 '22
I'm guessing half the toxic comments are kids with more time on pornhub than in school, thinking they're the gurus of the world. And some are just the ones that didn't grew out of it
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u/quantumfucker Dec 27 '22
This is it. A lot of young guys spending all day on reddit and pornhub instead of talking to real humans, which has apparently made it impossible to bring up sex at all without these weird takes and deprecating jokes coming out. Both sex and women are treated like myths here.
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u/iKrow Dec 27 '22
Quiet incel uprising lately on reddit. Weird self-deprecating toxicity, or red-pilled tainted sexism.
Idk man. It's just a funny meme. Memes are meant for instant consumption. If you give one more than 30s of your time then you're investing too much. If anyone here is reading this and feeling strongly in any way about this post, you probably should take some time to meditate and reevaluate some things.
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u/deathsdotters Dec 27 '22
I literally have no stance on this particular matter because I agree it shouldn't be taken that seriously, But, in general, I do think that are cases in which it is totally appropriate to be offended by memes. Just because something is physically a meme doesn't mean it should automatically be taken as a joke. There can still very much be malicious content.
Again, don't care about this meme. Just seizing my opportunity to disagree with an internet stranger :P
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Dec 27 '22
Lol, this is hilarious because it's exactly how people get radicalized. "It's just the internet, don't think about it too hard". That's exactly what attitude companies like Cambridge Analytica count on.
Don't think critically! Only idiots do that. Har har.
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Dec 27 '22
There’s a simple solution to this. Make her ride n then she’ll actually understand what exhaustion is
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Dec 27 '22
Can’t ride when op has a micro penis
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u/reddsht Dec 27 '22
Your pp might be small, but that cope of yours is humongous.
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Dec 27 '22
Grinding is actually what gets women off when they're on top. It's how the clit works, he's not wrong.
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u/Alvamar Dec 27 '22
All those hours of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 are finally paying off now
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u/honeypinn Dec 27 '22
Kind off topic but I recently downloaded that game on an emulator for a GBA and the game is so fucking hard lol. No clue how I did it back in the day.
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u/Shandlar MAYONNA15E Dec 27 '22
Yeah, dude. I got my PS2 running again maybe 6 years ago and tried it again. Holy fucking shit, what. No wonder I was so proud of my highscores.
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u/ReadyThor Dec 27 '22
Lesbians apparently enjoy grinding and they do not even have a pp.
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Dec 27 '22
Funnily enough there's often one side that's "powering through". It doesn't do anything for me except that it's hot as fuck so I deal with a bruised mons pubis.
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u/CleverName4 Dec 27 '22
Holy shit the replies to this are cancerous. You keep on keeping on brother. Fuck the haters.
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u/Small-Marionberry-29 Dec 27 '22
The funny thing is most of the people replying like that are most likely not big because well, their energy is majorly small pp…
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u/sauzbozz Dec 27 '22
Theres a difference between small and micro though
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u/Namaha Dec 27 '22
He said "that small" not just "small", ie referring to the already referenced "micro" size
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u/OssoRangedor Dec 27 '22
Ask anyone in here to do deep pulse squats for longer than 2 minutes.
That oughta give them a different perspective
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u/princessnoala Dec 27 '22
“Having sex while laying down with the man on top brings the female reproductive tract back into a more primate parallel orientation with gravity, and women that remain in a spline position after sex would therefore have a greater chance of getting pregnant. Consistent with this analysis, we found that women were unwittingly more likely to fall asleep after sex than men.” - https://www.psypost.org/2020/04/new-research-indicates-that-women-are-more-likely-to-fall-asleep-after-sex-than-men-56467?amp=1
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u/KingVanti Dec 27 '22
Im curious about this as well. Any women around who can explain?
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u/gladtobethe1peryen Dec 27 '22
Some of them do things such as pulling the guy deeper in with their legs, rocking their hips, kissing, caressing, scratching or even holding their breath involuntarily due to spasm. Sex and arousal raise the heart rate and breathing naturally. And even if she did not do any of this, if she is out of breath afterwards, you did a good job.
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u/MelanisticCrow Dec 27 '22
I do the above and goddamn is it almost equally exhausting as being on top.
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Dec 27 '22
Do people think that women just lie there?
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u/MelanisticCrow Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
Yes. Some probably do, but the mental image of it just looks so strange lol. If I saw it irl through a window I would mistake it for a a girl getting r*ped
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u/CuffMcGruff Dec 27 '22
I mean some definitely do? Why are you saying that like all women attend the same sexual seminar and everybody fucks the same way
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u/Akahari Dec 27 '22
Sex and arousal raise the heart rate and breathing naturally
I can imagine this to be the biggest factor in a situation where the girl actually "just lies there". Being out of breath isn't exactly the same as being tired/exhausted. And I'm pretty sure it's near impossible to breath deeply and slowly while you're being thrusted. It quite literally pushes the air out of your lungs.
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u/EasternWinds69 Dec 27 '22
Women don't exist😔😔😔
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u/Jegma72 Dec 27 '22
Facts
Everyone on the internet is really just a 40 year old obese man.
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u/Pineapple_Herder Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
It depends on the circumstances honestly.
Sometimes we have to hold a position for an extended period of time. Think isometric exercises mainly in the arms (mind you many women have sucky upper body strength and they're getting railed), abdominals, back, legs, and glutes all to either help their partner hit the best angle/spot or avoid them hitting the wrong angle/spot.
During a few days of my cycle, if I'm not careful about how he penetrates me it'll feel like I'm getting shanked in my ovary on my right side. Real mood killer obviously. So when I know I'm sensitive, I have to hold certain positions to keep my core just right to prevent the pain and enjoy sex.
Or maybe your partner's angle feels great but it keeps slipping out (and no one actually enjoys a surprise ram rod to the asshole). Our pelvic floor muscles can really make a difference in those precarious situations. It's why if we cough or laugh we might squeeze your dick out.
In addition to some muscle strain, if a lady is getting thoroughly fucked and enjoying it, it gets the blood pumping a LOT. Seriously, if both parties are participating their heart rates should both be elevated. If she's meeting your hip thrusts or actively fighting being fucked into the head board... Yeah, it's gonna be more than just laying there.
And all of that is just the physical side of things... Men often overlook how emotional sex can be for women.
You're partner might be breathless and panting after having done "nothing" because she's been actively riding a fine line between enjoying sex with you and trying to ignore the sexual assault memories that one position reignited. She might not feel comfortable explaining it and that anxiety can look like physical exhaustion post sex.
Or the emotional good high is riding her just as hard as a panic attack. It's not that unusual for women to happy cry after a really hard sex session. It's why aftercare is so important in the BDSM community. The more intense the sex the more intense the emotions are likely to be and that can cause physical exhaustion, too.
Or your girl is just outta shape. Women with medical issues fuck. Knew a girl with asthma who usually had to hit her inhaler before and after sex. Her bf always took it as an ego boost.
Sex is better when you're in shape. It's a tough conversation to have, but seriously. Increased stamina in the bedroom is worth the awkward gym conversation. Been with my husband for 12 years now. We can both tell when we've been slipping at the gym because neither of us wants to be on top XD
Workout. If not for weight loss, do it for stamina and cardio health. You'll both have better orgasms.
My ranting two cents as a woman. Take it as you will.
Edit: HOLY SHIT! THANK YOU GUYS :]
I've never gotten so many awards... Just damn! Thank you!
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u/meliot13 Dec 27 '22
This! I think this is pretty much the perfect response to OP's question. Have my free award
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u/Organic-Strategy-755 Dec 27 '22
bruh 20 minutes of bjj send me puking even though it felt "easy". I wasn't even tired, yet felt exhausted. My cardio said yes, but my muscles said no
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u/Ilaxilil Dec 27 '22
Yesss this. If I’m just laying there, it’s because I’m tired/out of shape and don’t have the stamina or energy to do anything. Sex is way better if I’ve been working out regularly. Also with the positions my partner likes I sometimes feel like it turns into a whole yoga session 🥴
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u/bertimann Dec 27 '22
Wonderful explanation! I'm not female, so I didn’t know the specifics, but even in situations where the women I’ve been with didn’t move much during sex it was apparent that they were still working hard during the act. Everyone that had the displeasure of fucking a total starfish before should know the difference to a partner that is enthusiastically getting railed.
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u/UglyMcFugly Dec 27 '22
YES thank you! Holding a receptive position can be hard. My ex liked to do it in the shower sometimes but it was just an awful position to maintain. I had to stand on my tiptoes so he had the right angle, arch my back while bending over, and try to balance myself against the wall without falling. My arms and legs were always sore for like a day after doing it in the shower. Even though I was “just” standing there lol.
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u/B3ne22 Dec 27 '22
Not a women, but my gf told me. Imagine taking her from behind, she has to hold against your bumps with her thight all the time so that you two dont fall over towards her for example. Can be exhaustinh i think. Also pleasure is exhausting ;)
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u/Briskylittlechally2 Dec 27 '22
I mean, the one thing I could understand is that holding your legs up for 10 minutes is actually quite an exercise.
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u/saltysweetbonbon Lions & Tigers & Flairs, oh my! Dec 27 '22
You know we don’t just lie there like a dead fish right? Try keeping your pelvis raised for 20 minutes and report back to me.
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u/succfucc Dec 27 '22
bi dude here, been there done that
keeping your legs raised for so long is harder than people think (especially if you dont just lie there like a starfish but actually contribute), but for me it's still much easier than being on top and doing all the thrusting
also staying in the same position for 20 minutes straight is rare anyways, after 5-10min people usually finish or change position
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Dec 27 '22
For me it's holding my legs up in the air, often holding them by the ankles so I can spread them up as far as I can. It's so exhausting and I've gotten leg cramps so horrible we've had to stop and take a break.
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u/Heatho14 I have crippling depression Dec 27 '22
Just because she isn't doing all the thrusting doesn't mean she isn't doing anything. Unless you're with a starfish who doesn't move at all she will generally be doing a decent amount of work grinding and stuff. Plus, orgasms leave you out of breath if you're doing it right.
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u/KinkyNun00 Dec 27 '22
Unless you're with a starfish who doesn't move at all she will generally be doing a decent amount of work grinding and stuff.
In that case OP should have used a picture of Patrick.
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u/Ok_Physics_1284 Dec 27 '22
Well having sex 20 times is quite taxing.
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u/GooseMantis Dec 27 '22
Holy shit, you can last a whole minute at a time? Show us the way, wise old wizard, for you know something we don't
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u/chicagomatty E-vengers Dec 27 '22
From suppressing her gag reflex, no doubt
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u/WildSmokingBuick Dec 27 '22
A woman was in a coma and she had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was a small, recognizable movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that with the curtains closed for privacy, and his co-operation it might just work. He finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
A few minutes passed and then the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart beat, alarms ringing, the nurses burst into the room. "What happened?" they cried.
The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".
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u/HamyM20 Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 27 '22
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
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u/Pigstah Dec 27 '22
Who's having 20 minute sex...lasting a long time is not always the best. In before anyone says "obviously you can't last long enough" but talking to my Mrs and she says it ends up sore and not pleasurable after a certain point
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u/Ilaxilil Dec 27 '22
This is very true, at least for me. Sometimes my partner will go 20+ minutes and it feels nice at first, but it hits a point where I’m just laying there in pain going “can you cum already??” It’s not fun.
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u/Athena42 Dec 27 '22
I hope when you say "20 minute sex" you're just referring to the PIV portion?
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u/liveForTheHunt Dec 27 '22
Why is there a bunch of butthurt white knights in here
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u/SillyMidOff49 I am fucking hilarious Dec 27 '22
In fairness to you mate, particularly powerful orgasms can fuck you up.
One particularly lovely lady I used to date would regularly run 10k’s like it was nothing and come back like she’d taken a stroll around the corner.
After a reasonable session she’d be dead to the world.
Nothing flatters a guys ego like a woman that’s easily pleased!
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u/Metool42 Dec 27 '22
the amount of people not realizing that getting (properly) fucked also increases your heartrate is astounding
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u/Up_vote_McSkrote Dec 27 '22 edited Dec 28 '22
Taking dick be hard work....you gotta pretend it's the biggest one you've ever seen, that it's so fulfilling and satisfying, that it's amazing, all while having to deal with someone gyrating on top of you. Sounds like a God damn job to me.
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u/MedicatedAxeBot Dec 27 '22
Dank.
come play minecraft, space engineers, ark, and rust with us!