r/dating_advice • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
how can i avoid guys that just want something casual in college?
[deleted]
3
u/norwegiandoggo 4d ago
1.There are no guarantees. So your goal should be to manage your own emotional investment and keep it low to begin with. Don't fall for a dude too early.
- Manage your self worth. Value and self worth is key. Not only for yourself but in the eyes of men!!
I'm not saying to be stuck up like "this guy isn't good enough for me because he doesn't have a six-pack, doesn't have a job and yada yada" that just makes you a stuck up asshole. This is fake bravado.
I'm saying; show the dude you have worth. Show your value. For example; by not sleeping with a dude just because he's handsome and says the right words. That conveys value. Also show how this one guy isn't the only dude that wants you. If he wants you for himself; he better lock you down. This provides an incentive for him to want commitment. Tease him with the potential for sex. But keep it just out of reach to begin with. And that will drive him crazy so he will do anything to get it including lying. So ignore his words and play your own game. Look at his behavior only.
2
u/Windbag1980 4d ago
For men the goal is to be casual, for women it’s to settle down. Men are wondering how to be hot enough that they can seduce women without commitment, and the women wonder how to get them to settle down.
Luckily, most guys aren’t hot enough to play the field. The commitment game comes from average people settling for each other.
That makes commitment rare and precious. There is no magic bullet.
1
u/Broad_Position_3101 4d ago
I’m a 29m and honestly men and women are just going to be all kinds of different crazy, everyone’s crazy just different levels.
They could be more attractive but it has nothing to do with looks because that’s just the “optics”, listen what they say but pay attention on how they move. If the attraction is there I personally wouldn’t wait until a few months to get intimate because then it might put off other vibes like “I’m seeing other people” no matter what you tell them. But that’s just me.
In the end, people are people…. Everything is short term, and it can lead to long term……. As long as they walk the talk and are aligned with how you operate…. Not changing to operate the same way as you but them already doing it as well….. that’s when something special happens maybe?
1
u/Val-F 4d ago
Disclaimer: This may get me started on a rant. So feel free to advise if that happens. Have you ever tried to take a different approach to things, maybe simpler? These days you need a graduation to understand relationships before you even begin to consider going out there. Why not just keep it simple? You want a relationship or you don't. All the other status are excuses to not owning it. Like you want cake but still want to be on a diet, then if the cake is good maybe... still there might be another cake out there... so we create non sense and make it normal or change it's name to look modern and different. We corrupt the meaning of BS and labell whatever to keep going at it. So how you avoid guys that just want a piece of cake? Try the simple, outdated method of using the little old and effective word no, needless to say you can add "thank you" at the end of it (that's just a cherry).
1
u/InstructionExpert880 4d ago
I would just take your time with it. Build friendships with men and don't rush to be more. Any guy who's truly interested in long term with you, will invest the time.
1
u/MyRomanticJourney 3d ago
Don’t go for the frat guys?
1
•
u/AutoModerator 4d ago
Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the rules of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a message. We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.