r/depression • u/NoIndividual6000 • 1d ago
30's are kinda shit huh?
Just going through the days thinking it's all the same shit day after day after day and running into a wall every now and then where I just feel like doing absolutely nothing. Like it would be better to just sink into a blanket and disappear for awhile. But of course in your 30's life is full of responsibilities and shit that doesn't just stop because you "don't feel good" so it all compounds 😮💨
I'm tired man...
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u/iamkiruakun 1d ago
I feel like I'm just existing now. Just breathing. Trying so hard to at least live by.
I was invited by my friends going to a concert soon I know I'll have fun on that day but after it then it's just back to normal. Like how I planned and paid for my parents tour internationally. When they got home everything was exciting and all. Then days, weeks passed by and I was empty again. I feel like I'm almost drifting further away in caring or feeling anything.
Like I always end up with a question.. "then what? What's next?" I feel that when the people around me disappear, I'm nothing.
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I think we all just need to find a passion project, something we can do for ourselves just to have a little purpose. Can't keep relying on others for that it'll always fall short.
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u/PsychologicalPut785 1d ago
Most require money and if you have kids or pets get hard leaving them home alone
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Could be something involving the kids or just drawing or little projects around the house. Doesn't always require a ton of money.
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u/HaleyMorganVII 1d ago
40s here. 30s were like that. So were my 20s. Earth life blows.
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Yea. One day it'll all be over. Guess that's why people say Rest in Peace?
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u/whyamialiveletmedie 1d ago
If you were a functional, normal person before your 30s, 30s should be good. Like, you have a base of social skills, self-esteem, friendship and relationship experience, a good career or at least career skills that you can use to transition to something else, financial planning, health and fitness. If you have these things, you're set up for a good 30s and probably rest of your life.
Meanwhile, if you're a person who spent your 20s depressed and having very limited life development, then you reach your 30s and all you feel is despair and hopelessness about how far behind you are and how you allowed yourself to end up like this, or at least that's how it's been for me. My 20s were just apathy about how I was going nowhere and doing nothing with my life, didn't even think about it, didn't even care. Then as soon as I turned 30, the state of my life hit me like a truck. And in the three years since then, life has been utterly depressing, miserable hell. Nonstop thoughts every day and night for three years about how far behind and useless I am. Not making any progress or putting any effort into anything because I just don't see the point. Constantly seeing people my age or younger post online about how much further ahead than me they are, or people 5-10 years younger than me realizing their lives aren't going well and taking steps to change, while I was that age and just continued rotting. Just constant reminders of how mentally broken I am.
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u/Prestigious-Quiet-46 1d ago
40s have been pretty brutal for me as well. Seems like it just gets worse and worse. Life feels like hell on earth. Only thing I can little bit if peace from is nature with no one around and animals.
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u/tao_of_tara 1d ago
My 20s/30s were total shit. 40s are better. Or I’m just better at handling the shit. Unsure!
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Probably just better at handling shit. Which is hopeful for me in a way.
Hope you're well.
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u/JDawn747 1d ago
your 30s are basically your 20s with "the injury"
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u/Veggies_3466 1d ago
AGREE.
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u/kyr0x0 1d ago
And the 40s is the same but your dementia kicks in, so the weight of past trauma starts diminishing.
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u/Veggies_3466 1d ago
You know how many times I hope I hit my head hard enough to forget all my trauma haha
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u/Gurlduck 1d ago
Fr, I’m so tired of being tired man. Since leaving my 20’s I’ve been on a downhill trajectory. Feeling like I’m about to bottom out soon.
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I feel it. I'm exhausted and just feel like life is really winning this fight and kicking my ass... Only good thing about the bottom is it can only get better from there right?
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u/ryencool 1d ago
My life didn't start until i was 35/36. I loved the years after that. Now 42 and couldnt be happier.
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Good to hear. I mean sucks that it took that long to start but it's nice to see the horizon near y'know...
Been so fucking overwhelmed lately with life and emotions and everything. It takes a toll.
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u/ryencool 1d ago
110% it does, and its ok to be angry, upset, jealous, whatever. Its ok to give up for a bit, work through that, but you always have to get back on the horse.
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u/TheMajesticMoose08 1d ago
Turning 32 next week and feel this in my soul
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Godspeed man.. hopefully your experience will be vastly different. Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏽
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u/DayVarious4863 1d ago
The feels on this one forsure😞
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
It's hard to fill that emptiness sometimes. It's not always so overpowering but some days, today for more, it's as heavy as anything could be.
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u/DayVarious4863 1d ago
I never had depression but I went through lasik complications that left me partially blind and with no night vision. I live now life in 3D weird lights everywhere and no solution. Most days I really wish god would let a bus or truck hit me but I know I should still try to be thankful just reallly alone and down
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I mean I'd still think that's a form of depression, and there's nothing wrong with depression, just have to find ways to push through it.
And don't worry, the world is pretty ugly so if you're missing seeing some of it you aren't missing much
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u/Asleep_Fix3900 1d ago
I'm in 50s mate some things get better but it's also pretty shit, however it all started in my 30s so you seem your on the money, well played dude 🤙✌️
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Just got a buckle down and power through. Nothing that can't be solved with pure persistence through hating everything right?
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u/Cold_Tennis_3310 1d ago
Feeling like this in my 20s. Its the same shit everyday, like youre stuck in a loop
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Like a bad movie on repeat and you can't find the remote
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u/Cold_Tennis_3310 1d ago
Exactly
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Hope things brighten up soon for you. I just get in these super depressing moods lately more and more and it hits me like a brick
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u/Cold_Tennis_3310 1d ago
Thank you. I hope that for you too. I've been feeling like that as well. One moment things feel okay and in the next nothing makes sense anymore. I get these waves of anhedonia but it always lingers somewhere in the back. Life is so weird man
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
Yep. Yesterday I was fine. Cheerful, hanging out and then last night and all today it's like there's no light left
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u/Cold_Tennis_3310 1d ago
Yeah its so weird. But I guess thats depression. Its so hard to get out of
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u/kyr0x0 1d ago
I'm on the brink of my 40s. Today I looked up if monastaries allow for guest visits. I'm so sick of this world.
Edit: People say it's getting better when you're getting older because your brain starts rotting and your memory stops functioning well. Can't cry about the past if you forget about it.
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u/Hxcgrapes 23h ago
It’s the tiredness for me too, man. I just have no energy anymore. If this is really life, I just don’t know why any sane person would continue this. My only saving grace is the shockwave it would send in my family if I did the deed. I only do it for them.
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u/NoIndividual6000 22h ago
Same. Which sucks cause then you build up all this unnecessary pressure to be a certain way since you're sticking around for them anyways 😮💨
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u/Hxcgrapes 15m ago
I’m sure you put on a good mask like we all try to. That’s super exhausting. I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs. Fuck work, fuck the system. I just want to be in the woods with no worries about my income - carefree.
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u/Sephyfly 18h ago
Oh god, I’m 24 and feel this way. Here’s a virtual hug, stranger. I know it’s not much, but hope it helps someone out there even a little bit!
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u/MatrixBunny 12h ago
Ehh.. As you get older, more and new ''issues'' add up on those feelings and thought processes.
Noticed that once I have gotten sick, life just goes on and that applies to everyone around you. It doesn't freeze for a moment and you'll still have to work 9 to 5, pay bills, worry about the future and slowly losing your social circle due to them all dealing with their own things as well.
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u/Suitable-Reason483 1d ago
You’re making me nervous about entering 30s now. Late 20s I guess is preparing us for that crap. Hope you feel better man!
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I mean we're all individuals so hopefully it's not like this for you. Just my personal experience, I (just like everybody else) have my own barrage of shit going on so just trying to navigate this all at the same time with very little emotional or mental support from family is rough..
Honestly I didn't grow up terribly but I really truly never even thought of 30's or even 20's growing up. Kind of uncharted territory in my eyes even though it shouldn't be I guess..
I just feel like I was extremely ill prepared for life sometimes
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u/Suitable-Reason483 1d ago
As we all are. Your reply is a fresh breath to me, trust me. Good luck, I really hope things turn out better for you brother
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u/zta1979 1d ago
I already do this, hide in bed. Lol. Delaying responsibility
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I just got back in. The kids were set up with food and their toys and I just closed the bedroom door for a bit 😕
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u/mushykindofbrick 1d ago
its 2am now and im only slowly mustering the strength to go to bed and start the next day
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I didn't go to bed until like 6 or 7am today.... Really hoping. I can just get sleep tonight. These kids make it impossible tho some nights.
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u/alteisen99 1d ago
yeah some say life starts at 30 but i'm pretty sure those are for the lucky folks who landed good jobs, good careers, good social circles etc. for some it's just endless responsibility with no upsides
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u/NoIndividual6000 1d ago
I'm hoping eventually something will just fall into place for me that just makes things work. Idk what else to do.
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u/Cyber_PunnkinBrat 23h ago
You mean to tell me that the 30s are also bad ? 🥺🥲
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u/NoIndividual6000 23h ago
It's all bad kid 🥴
Honestly life is what you make of it. So find something to be passionate about and proud of and you'll work it out just fine I think. Some days are just much harder than others
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u/bellab333 21h ago
this may be morbid but my 30s are better because I've given up the hope that things are gonna get better (ironic huh, acceptance is a helluva drug). I've realized people still are assholes even when you're doing all the shit to fit in and look pretty and be successful. Its like nah stuff is just kinda awful and Im not going to wait for that to change Im just going to listen to my shitty music and watch my weird movies and wear my ugly clothes and do whatever I want that makes the days sorta enjoyable to me and try not to be a dick to other people. all the rest comes out in the wash.
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u/dev_nightdreamer 18h ago
Yeah, I feel you... had setup myself to work as a freelancer in 2017, when I was 22 years old, didn't finished university, got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD last year and recently with heavy depression. Medication doesn't really help, because my head needs more to function properl than my body can handle...
Can't really make it anymore but pushing me through like a robot, after my doctor wanted me to have me committed to a psychiatric hospital for 8-10 weeks and the doctors there told me, that it isn't possible, if I can't stop working in this time frame... I can't because I would loose all clients and couldn't get any further projects. It sucks but I must earn enough money, to keep me, my wife and my three cats from being homeless. 😒
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u/Available-Nose-5666 10h ago
I agree. I turn 40 in December all I can think is wtf another year of feeling shit. I just can’t be bothered anymore
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u/Trouble_River 1d ago
You think your 30s are bad, wait until you hit your 40s and deal with middle age malaise. Nothing remarkable, you're just in a holding pattern. The weddings are basically over and you're waiting for the funerals to start.
Does it ever get better? I'm not sure anymore
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u/LavRyMusic 1d ago
Felt like this in my 20s too
30 now, no change