Getting sober and realizing how many of your relationships have been creating a barrier to your sobriety and, in turn, happiness. Tonight, I am just over 4 months of tapering and becoming sober, and I am using a randomized username to tell you that I am breaking that streak. The reason why? I had to end a nine year relationship with someone I loved deeply. We have clearly always wanted different things.I don't want kids and they do. I want marriage and they do not...Etc and whatever. I dont care about anymore. I am done numbing myself in order to ignore a barrier to what I want in life. But tonight, I am going to numb, because I feel at 39, I should have known better. Me working to improve would have never inspired them to change.not that any of those things needed to change, it was also good enough to waste some time.But just for tonight, I'm going to fail in my journey. Tomorrow is a new day and I have the courage and will to get back to the work. But I want you all to know, sobriety clears your vision of reality, and the reality that has been there waiting can be something awful. Just know you are not alone. I'll get through this and should one of you stumble upon this post after discovering you're in a similar situation, I'll be here. Just give me tonight to feel sorry for myself.

I've struggled with drinking for 7 years or so now. The last 3 years have been on a run away to numb my depression and stresses.

Now I'm having low back pain, side pain and night sweats are starting.

I'm drinking 8 strongbow a day in a matter of hours, burnt out from low hanging jobs feeling useless for how much time I've wasted.

My fiancée and I are on a pause due to my turmoil and how long I've avoided tackling this problem...

I'm trying to regulate my sleep, build affirmations and a plan to stop this. I hate feeling like crap all the time.

How do you keep mindful not to grab a drink?

I'm desperate here. My body, my future, my relationship need this change and I'm so eager to commit to quitting.

Anyone else feel like you got out of drinking at the “right” time (pre-DUI, kept my job, etc.) but now that you’re sober and facing reality, it just feels like you put off your rock bottom?

I’m facing some serious financial and relationship issues that I definitely put off dealing with by drinking. I’m 7 months sober and it feels like the fallout is just hitting now.

Anyway, proud of all of you for fighting the good fight along with me, and I’m so grateful to be sober no matter what is happening.

Got way to drunk last night arguments making an ass out of myself I need help. I’m a member of the discord is there a set time where meetings take place?

Does anyone have any advice?

Went out to happy hour with friends/coworkers and someone ordered me a drink ahead of time. I couldn't stop drinking after that and I don't know how to approach these situations going forward....

I started going hard with both beer & liquor when i was about 18 & basically drank every day until i was 29 & it felt like my body couldn't do it anymore. It's definitely been a journey & i'd be lying if i said i didn't still struggle in certain ways.. but i'm alive & i'm almost positive i wouldn't be here today if i kept that habit going.

Wishing everyone here well on their journeys.

Mostly FA here but lately it's getting out of control.

Not drinking on weekdays was easy. It's not anymore. When I know I have wfh the next day. You bet I'm gonna be drunk.

Weekends turned from friday & saturday evening to getting completeley wasted friday, continue saturday basically from waking up and getting shitfaced on sunday too, not being able to come into office monday and wfh again which basically means me sleeping and later on, getting into wd bc kindling is a son of a bitch. But I do have a benzo script. Which also sucks bc now it's a vicious cycle getting drunk > wd > benzos RINSE AND REPEAT

That part is what sucks the most. I know I have a problem and after a weekend binge I'm alwasy like, (LIKE ALWAYS SINCE 10 YEARS OR WHAT FUCK THAT) : NO, I'm not drinking this week, ACTUALLY I am NOT going to drink for TWO WEEKS.

Tuesday I'm back to drinking.

But I do have a GF and a solid job still. Also I have the cutest cat.

I tried the sinclair method but it only worked for a short while. I really don't want to turn into a full CA but it is creeping up on me and well, any suggestions are appreciated.

I’ve decided I need to start addressing myself as an addict rather than an alcoholic.

I am physically addicted to alcohol. It doesn’t matter how much will power I exert - I can and have relapsed drinking moderately and feel GREAT - but the cravings will be there the next day. I will feel off and be tempted to either stay in bed or start drinking (or both).

Most of all - I know I will struggle with eating. Alcohol chased with water ends up being my food. I am lucky if I get more than one meal down.

It’s equivalent to dopesick. The booze is my food, medicine and poison and my body adjusts to this reality so quickly it’s scary.

hi my name is ash, i’m 19 and an alcoholic. i’ve been struggling very bad lately, im new to reddit but im turning here bc i really dont know what to do

All the hangxiety is hitting me I’ve been checking my nails, stomach, freaking about every pain, do my eyes look jaundiced I know I woke up with them bloodshot but I’m freaking out all over again

Long story short, I was so ready to move on. My partner found out about my sneaking drinks. Nothing crazy, maybe 4-5 a night. But the truth and hurtful part is that I lied. I guess I didn’t feel comfortable coming out since my partner’s Dad is an alcoholic. I knew it would be a touchy subject. But they found out, and I decided that I’d quit.

I’m not dependent. I can do without- but when I’m alone in this new town without any friends, it just makes sense to me. It makes me energy; I can cook and clean, take care of my plants. Enjoy sitting on the porch in the sun.

I had 4 days under my belt. Then it was a half pint of vodka. Then it tapered down, ramped up, tapered down or quit cold turkey. I know I could do it. But here I am- after 6 drinks, I’m having sips of listeria to feel better. I’m going to call out of work tomorrow. God it feels awful. How do I just get rid of it? I’ve spent time sober but the cravings are always there. I don’t know where to go.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male, and I quit smoking 8 months ago. I had been smoking and drinking since I was 15 years old. Now I'm 23 and I consume 105ml-140ml equivalent of pure alcohol only 1 day per week. Honestly, I don't have many complaints, but I also know it's harmful to my health. If I really wanted to, I could quit today, but I don't think I could have fun without alcohol or that ordinary conversations could be more enjoyable without alcohol. It feels like when I drink alcohol, the world becomes a more bearable place. And truly, alcohol is my only entertainment in the world. If I could first get rid of these thoughts, I could quit alcohol. That's why I wanted to write here. If there are people who could help with this and share their thoughts, I would love to read them.

I'm anxious and depressed today and really don't wanna break my streak right before I hit 3 months sober. Does anyone have any suggestions on something I could take a "shot" of that would maybe kinda trick my brain so it stops craving shots of vodka/whiskey? I was thinking of mixing water with a bit of chili sauce and lemon or something for a burn. Sounds nasty but so is liquor lol. Thanks.

I had to leave work early today I’ve been tapering but last night I binged and this morning I over estimated what it would take to avoid withdrawals and by the time lunch rolled around I was drunk. I’m ashamed that I had to leave early but I just knew that I couldn’t stay there while drunk I’m home now about to drink a beer and go to bed for a few then reset and start fresh tm.

I managed to go a whole month without drinking back in July and things were going great but I fell back into old habits in August and honestly I felt like I wasted so much time… I’ve been extra flakey with friends and my brother and I know they’ve noticed. I was back to becoming forgetful and even just avoiding people. I got the bloated feeling back again and the uncontrollable sweating :( I’m starting with day 1 again today but I just hate that I feel like last month slipped away and I just ruined my progress. Even had a whole panic attack at a fair because I mixed an edible with alcohol.. it’s just been bad but I’m hoping to get back on track, some words of encouragement would be great. I’ve been keeping a lot of this a secret from everyone on how bad it’s gotten

I keep worrying of ascitis but I know that I’ve also gained weight in this process too My stomach is still jiggly but I think I’m also extremely paranoid rn

Hello. I have a question about Antabuse or other meds that help fight cravings. Background: I’ve been a heavy drinker for about 15 years (wow, the time flew). I average between 355mL-750mL hard liquor most days of the week. Cumulatively, I have been been more drunk than sober probably 75% of that time. I only intermittently stop for good this time about 1 to 2 weeks. I have never experienced physical withdrawal symptoms. But my cravings are insane. I just white knuckle til the day passes. Since I was a morning noon and night drinker I associate every part of the day with drinking and my mouth misses it.

God how i’d love to just shut this shit down. The unceasing debate all day about whether to just say fuck it and go to the liquor store. I distract myself with new habits - exercise and food preparation, reading etc - but the thoughts are constantly lurking, like catcalling hoodlums leaning over a fence. It’s exhausting and frankly boring.

Naltrexone I just over-drink hard liquor to short circuit its effect.

I know Antabuse is old school now, but has anyone tried it? Did it squash your cravings? And since it will make me horribly sick if I drink, I think that might be enough to help end the Damed Debate.

the other night my kid climbed onto the couch next to me and said “dad you smell funny, like wine,” and i laughed it off in the moment but inside it felt like my chest caved in, i’ve spent years telling myself i was hiding it well, sneaking cans into the trash, keeping bottles tucked behind things in the garage, but kids notice more than you think, that one little sentence hit harder than any hangover ever has, it wasn’t said with anger just this simple honesty like they were pointing out the obvious, and i couldn’t stop thinking about how many nights they’ve seen me with glassy eyes and thought that was normal, i went into the bathroom later and just sat there staring at myself in the mirror, face red bloated eyes tired, and all i could think about was how i’ve been lying not just to myself but to them too, i don’t want their memory of me to be some drunk who couldn’t put it down, i’ve been trying to keep myself busy since then, writing things down in soberpath, reading at night instead of pouring another drink, but i can’t shake those words, “you smell funny,” it’s the most honest thing anyone’s said to me in a long time and i don’t ever want to hear it again

I’m also scared of ascitis or if I’m bloated. By stomach doesn’t feel hard but I keep getting paranoid that it jiggles. Any advice, I did just come off a bender but I’ve been gassy non stop too

So does it help? Side effects? I am currently drinking for the past 3 months every day and having a hard time tapering and quitting completely. I've heard good things but never tried it. What does it feel like? Can I keep drinking my normal amount of about 15 or 16 a day? How do i approach this? Thanks.

Hey y'all work was gracious enough to give me a few monthes off to go to detox and rehab. Everything was going AMAZING, best I've felt like in years. A few weeks ago I had ONE(1) drink. Now I've basically, (woken up) in the hospital with if diazepam. I ripped it out and left I don't even know why. Now I'm back home trying to figure out what the fuck to do. Talking to my boss tomorrow after not talking for almost a week. If you were me would you try and get a 1000th last chance and go back to work? Or try and go back to rehab. Or maybe try and do more meetings instead? Also if anyone is from Canada I'd be curious if you had any luck getting on ei or eia from being an alcoholic who can't hold it together for long? Short term disability was amazing but I'm worried I'm going to get fired. I really want this to be over with and feel like I should prioritize my mental, but I also need to make money.

I've been an addict for, idk, 15 to 20 years? Not always active addiction. I've had many sober years, actually! But I have been to the pits of hell with my addiction a few times. I've had a DUI (that I barely remember!), I've unsuccessfully been to rehab, I've had a seizure while in withdrawals.

I'm, yet again, coming out of a binge and getting sober this week. I'm okay. I'm not puking, I'm eating, I'm not shaking. This one really wasn't bad. But I can't sleep.

And I'm thinking, I want to write about my experiences. I want to tell people what to expect if they walk the same path I have. I don't want to write a book because I don't want money. I just want to write a post about what it feels like to actually go through withdrawals and how to deal with it.

Would that be well received here? Or no since most of us have probably been through that Lol! I don't really know what I'm asking here. I guess I just feel like I have a story to share and I don't know where or how to share it.