Tips for a difficult death

[u/Amazing-Ad8160]

New attending. Had a gruesome death of a little boy happen in front of me the other day. I will spare the specific details but it was a penetrating trauma. Peds trauma cracked his chest, chest tubes, whole blood, blood on the floor, fingers in the wounds to stop the bleeding, the whole deal. Screaming parents and grandparents afterword. Have two sons similarly aged and I can’t get this out of my head to function normally at home. Just so happened to happen right before a week off so haven’t been back to work yet. Seen what seems like tons of deaths at this point and was never affected to this degree . Never seen a traumatic death of a healthy child though (seen pediatric codes but chronically Ill kids on borrowed time) Any tips for getting over it? How do you deal with bad deaths and making sure you don’t develop ptsd/burn out? I love what I do but if this was any weekly occurrence I would quit.

[u/tmrwandtmrw]

You’re a human being. Extend compassion to yourself and for the horrible situation for everyone. You did everything you could and this was not your fault. Your reactions and responses are normal for the abnormal / traumatic things you saw or had to do. I’m sure things will feel better once you’re back at work again and getting back to the swing of things. I’d try talking about it to a senior mentor if you have one. Would this case come up in an M&M meeting too? Could also be a good space to debrief and consider learnings etc

[u/Amazing-Ad8160 → u/tmrwandtmrw]

I think this will trigger a case review for sure but it’ll be more just someone reviewing and writing down what could have been done differently so not overly helpful in this case.