r/exredpill Aug 05 '25

Advice - girlfriend laughing at manhood

I was deep into TRP for many years. Now I’m in the first long term relationship I’ve been in in many years, and things are great between us.

Sex is good. I got into this mindframe during TRP where I assumed every woman was lying, and my “power” was in being desired - which meant breadcrumbing and acting like I didn’t care about them. Now I’m intimate with my girlfriend on a regular basis, I’m constantly in my head assuming she would rather be with someone else.

In regards to this incident - some background. I’m about average length, 5.5”. I truly never wanted my girlfriend to see me soft as it’s pretty unflattering. She started this “bit” where she leans over while I’m peeing and tried to get a glance of my flaccid dick. I’d always avoid her and hide it, which became funny but I truly didn’t want her to see me soft.

A couple months in I decided “fuck it” and peed while we were in the bathroom without hiding it. She was brushing her teeth and looked up from the sink in the mirror and my dick was pretty much right in front of her face. She started laughing for a few seconds, bent over to spit out her toothpaste then came back up and stared at my manhood again before laughing out loud once more. I got pissed off but hid it until a few minutes later we were in the kitchen. I told her I was pissed off she did that and she said something like “I couldn’t help it it looked so cute hanging out of your pants. And the situation we were in was just funny with me staring right at it.”

I couldn’t sleep that night lying next to her. I brought it up the next day and she apologized saying she should know better and shouldn’t have done that. This was months ago and it’s stuck with me. I can’t really talk to anyone of my friends about this. So looking for reassurance and how to stop thinking about this

15 Upvotes

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12

u/azucarleta Aug 05 '25

Strange question, but how much casual nudity have you experienced in your life? Like communal showers at a gym, or school or something? Maybe nude beaches. Skinny dipping with friends. I'm guessing very little or none. Which is understandable, i was always nervous as fuck about being naked with other guys.

But then I started going to this community gym in an old building, and the shower is one big communal situation, with only one shower stall that was for disabled people.

It was basically exposure therapy going there and eventually getting brave enough to not just shower naked in front of whoever, but even casually walk around the locker room the way some very confident people do. I don't think I'm very confident now, it just kinda gave me a IDGAF protection.

4

u/Civil_Patience8075 Aug 05 '25

Very little or none is correct. I’m trying to think about this objectively and not assign ill intent to her as if she was trying to truly make me feel insecure. I’m just still very angry she didn’t have enough foresight to consider how her reaction would make me feel. But ultimately my reaction is my responsibility. I just can’t seem to stop ruminating on it every few days or so.

-11

u/azucarleta Aug 05 '25

Well, you definitely can share with her how much this shook you, I think you should. Maybe playfully tell her that now she's in debt, she has to make it up to you, atonement, penance. That might sound sorta weak, but play it jokingly and confidently, like you have this sword of Damocles over her now, and some day you're gonna ask for a favor (like the mafia lol).

This was a genuine fuck up on her part even if she meant no harm.

11

u/Hello_to_u2 Aug 05 '25

Bro…no

-7

u/azucarleta Aug 05 '25

It's the sort of thing healthy relationships do to build intimacy.

7

u/meleyys Aug 06 '25

What the fuck? It's incredibly manipulative and unhealthy.

1

u/azucarleta Aug 06 '25

Idk what you are seeing here. To tell someone how much their actions hurt you, instead of just "manning up," that's manipulation to yall? This sub is really weird sometimes.

2

u/Trepptopus Aug 06 '25

You didn't suggest telling her "hey, that hurt" you suggested something manipulative and then tried to spin it when you got called out. If you don't understand maybe reread what you actually wrote and ask why several people found it manipulative