Advice - girlfriend laughing at manhood

[u/Civil_Patience8075]

I was deep into TRP for many years. Now I’m in the first long term relationship I’ve been in in many years, and things are great between us.

Sex is good. I got into this mindframe during TRP where I assumed every woman was lying, and my “power” was in being desired - which meant breadcrumbing and acting like I didn’t care about them. Now I’m intimate with my girlfriend on a regular basis, I’m constantly in my head assuming she would rather be with someone else.

In regards to this incident - some background. I’m about average length, 5.5”. I truly never wanted my girlfriend to see me soft as it’s pretty unflattering. She started this “bit” where she leans over while I’m peeing and tried to get a glance of my flaccid dick. I’d always avoid her and hide it, which became funny but I truly didn’t want her to see me soft.

A couple months in I decided “fuck it” and peed while we were in the bathroom without hiding it. She was brushing her teeth and looked up from the sink in the mirror and my dick was pretty much right in front of her face. She started laughing for a few seconds, bent over to spit out her toothpaste then came back up and stared at my manhood again before laughing out loud once more. I got pissed off but hid it until a few minutes later we were in the kitchen. I told her I was pissed off she did that and she said something like “I couldn’t help it it looked so cute hanging out of your pants. And the situation we were in was just funny with me staring right at it.”

I couldn’t sleep that night lying next to her. I brought it up the next day and she apologized saying she should know better and shouldn’t have done that. This was months ago and it’s stuck with me. I can’t really talk to anyone of my friends about this. So looking for reassurance and how to stop thinking about this

[u/Civil_Patience8075]

You're right and I appreciate this insight. Sex has been mostly good. I think this is coming up because this weekend I was going down on her and when I looked up, she had her eyes wide open staring at her ceiling. I stopped and called it out and she apologized and said she disassociated for a bit. 99% of the time when I go down on her, I bring her all the way to climax. This was the first time this has happened. So I think that's got things coming up for me and reflecting on every thing in the past that could prove I'm in insignificant lover.

[u/Ok_Shower_2611 → u/Civil_Patience8075]

i get the whole dick thing. but after being relationship this long, u cant expect the same reaction as the first few times. things get stale and people can be in their heads. ask questions, lean into it and turn the moment into something sexier. if u r getting offended over little stuff like this and taking it as a direct hit on u as a man or lover then u have got some self work to do

[u/FarConstruction4877 → u/Ok_Shower_2611]

I think op is righteously angry for her for laughing at his dick. This is not an ok response for ANY adult to have and he is right to feel insecure over it. How is he suppose to interpret this? You don’t get it because you are not a man.

[u/Ok_Shower_2611 → u/FarConstruction4877]

no ones saying its not a hit to the ego. what i mean is a well adjusted adult doesnt crumble over one off hand moment. maybe u act hurt and twinge a little or turn it into something silly. there r far better ways other than to just sit there stewing in it for months.
in a long term relationship u need to roll with those silly, very human bits, she wasnt trying to offend him at all. its a very normal thing between couples.
its not about being a man, but to have a backbone to decide whats a joke

[u/FarConstruction4877 → u/Ok_Shower_2611]

Well it’s neither silly nor funny, what the wife did here is irreversible. The first reaction is always honest. I don’t think it is normal or acceptable if u have even a tinge of social ability.

[u/meleyys → u/FarConstruction4877]

The first reaction is always honest.

No????? Where are you getting this idea?