r/exredpill • u/Substantial_Sky_3825 • 24d ago

What main reason why women divorce ?

Hello, I’m confused on a topic (I’m trying to get rid of red pill thinking but I still have topics where I’m confused)

Why do women divorce more than men

I’ve read articles (not studies) suggesting that women’s higher expectations/ unfulfilled emotional needs would be why they divorce?

What is unfulfilled emotional needs? Isnt this a selfish reason to divorce ? Is it the main reason why women divorce?

Does anyone has sources or can help me ?

This is the articles I’ve read ;

https://divorce.com/blog/who-initiates-divorce-more/

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220511-why-women-file-for-divorce-more-than-men

0 Upvotes

42% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

View all comments

6

u/Downtown_Statement87 24d ago

The main reason I and every woman I know has divorced can be found in the main body and the comments of this post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/1m5lfcv/i_30f_stopped_cleaning_and_doing_all_the_mental/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

12

u/Downtown_Statement87 24d ago

I wanted to write more but Reddit was being weird, so I'll say here that many women in marriages end up feeling like their husband is another child they have to take care of but who also expects mom to sleep with him. It's thoroughly unattractive being with someone who can't even take care of themselves, much less anyone else, and who refuses to help with the basics of everyday life. This is such a common complaint from women, yet every day on Reddit I see posts from men saying that their wives "blindsided" them with divorce (when actually, the wives had been "nagging" them for a more equitable partnership for years), and/or asking "now that she's actually leaving me, what can I do to change so she'll stay?"

I think if you really read the post and comments that I linked, you'll have a good understanding of both why married women divorce, and why fewer and fewer single women are interested in marriage or even dating. Good luck, and I'm glad you asked.

0

u/PutsWomenOnPedestal 23d ago

why fewer and fewer single women are interested in marriage or even dating.

I keep seeing this claim on reddit but anecdotally so many young women I know personally (non-white and white) have pursued marriage.

5

u/Downtown_Statement87 22d ago

I definitely know a lot of people, both men and women, who still value and want marriage. I think the change is that people are quicker to break up if their partner behaved unreasonably, and/or more people are happy to be single.

I think marriage used to be the default, but it's not anymore.

3

u/PutsWomenOnPedestal 22d ago

That’s good. A social change in the correct direction. Marriage needs to stop being a default and something that should happen only if the people involved understand what they are getting into and still want it.

0

u/Substantial_Sky_3825 24d ago

If I understand she’s annoyed by the fact that her husband isn’t helping her with house chores?

I appreciate your help but As someone with a trad past, my brain will just dismiss it as a woman not wanting to do her duty….

Im not sure I understand, is she overburdened?

14

u/Brilliant_Trick 24d ago edited 24d ago

But it's not her duty. No one has a duty. A healthy relationship is a partnership. Some women or men might love chores and managing this but we're all different. When you fail to do your part in a partnership, you're burdening the other party with responsabilities to the point where you exhaust them mentally and physically. If you add children to this, it is now a full time job and burden of taking care of everyone's need while no one care for you.

Women (or men) are not machines and do not have a natural inner program making them able to bear or handle all the housework for a full household. Furthermore, taking care of your partner like a child because they refuse to take their responsibility (cleaning, cooking, handling the maintenance, paperwork...) is not only tiring, it also makes them unattractive. It is less work and exhaustion in the end to be single and take care of the children only.

This is the root belief you have to extract : you need to see women as individuals with the same needs, resources, desires as men. They are not innately equipped for this, it is forced on them and always has been. For the first time in history, they have the ability to leave and say no and choose happiness for them and their children (no child wants to see their family broken but they also don't want to see their parents miserable).

Read about women mental health throughout history : before divorce was available the alternative was suicide, drugs or at times the asylum. Or just depression. Now they leave....and still, not before doing what they can to save what they spent years to build.

14

u/OccultEcologist 24d ago

Overburdened is an incredible understatement.

It can be doing her half of a relationship for a woman who has agreed to a traditional arrangement. However, that traditional arrangement also involves the man providing all the household cash and working long fucking hours for it.

Most modern relationship have a close to egalitarian default to income, with men earning a bit more in general, while women still do the bulk of the domestic labor. Essentially the men are doing 48 hour weeks when household labor is included and the women are doing 72 hour weeks, too vastly oversimplify with numbers made up just to demonstrate my point.

9

u/Substantial_Sky_3825 24d ago

I understand, double burden

6

u/Leavesofsilver 24d ago

and if you do go for the traditional arrangement, often being treated as worth less than him simply because you don’t earn money and aren’t really doing anything. all that hard work you do raising children and keeping house doesn’t count as work, after all.

nevermind that you don’t ever get a break. that you‘re supposed to be „on call“ 24/7, while he works a 9-5 and the doesn’t lift a finger to help or claims brining the trash out once a week and changing the car‘s oil from time to time is equivalent.

„a man can work from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done“

how is that fair? and why do we deserve to never rest? why do we deserve to work and work and work for no appreciation? why do we not deserve love and respect?

1

u/AutoModerator 24d ago

Please note that this account has negative karma and may not yet be a trusted commenter for this sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/No-Ad8127 24d ago

Overburdened and fed up that when she has her hands full, the husband does little to nothing to relieve her.

I’m assuming that you had a wife in the past that divorced you.

5

u/Substantial_Sky_3825 24d ago

I’m a female ironically enough, I understand this woman, It’s just more complicated than that to me…

9

u/No-Ad8127 24d ago

That’s odd. You write like you’re a man pretending to be a woman.

It’s probably just me though.

6

u/Substantial_Sky_3825 24d ago

No I’m a cis woman

Just have a past of following super traditional teachings due to religious reasons

It’s hard to defeat brainwashing…

I’m a desperate case anyway

1

u/AutoModerator 24d ago

Please note that this account has negative karma and may not yet be a trusted commenter for this sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Dismaliana 20d ago

That’s odd. You write like you’re a man pretending to be a woman.

I've noticed French-speaking women tend to type quite androgynously in English.

1

u/AutoModerator 24d ago

Please note that this account has negative karma and may not yet be a trusted commenter for this sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.