r/facepalm Oct 16 '18

From r/insanepeopleonfacebook

Post image
28.6k Upvotes

884 comments sorted by

5.3k

u/omnicidial Oct 16 '18

If you breastfeed your sons, you're teaching them that women are a food source and they'll grow up into cannibals like every man before them who ever breast fed.

1.2k

u/nessao616 Oct 16 '18

Or that if they cry a woman will give them food immediately.

838

u/Dokasamurp Oct 16 '18

Maybe if I cry a woman will give me tits. BRB must enact science.

211

u/Conocoryphe Oct 16 '18

How did it go?

485

u/Dokasamurp Oct 16 '18

HR wants to speak with me. Maybe they just want to know the secret new tech?

240

u/acog Oct 16 '18

Could be a woman in HR heard you crying and just wants to comfort you with a boob.

204

u/_PM_ME_YOUR_PRAYERS_ Oct 16 '18

Could be a woman in HR heard you crying and just wants to comfort you with a boob.

Is this like the final boss level for workplace sexual predators? Sexually harrass someone from HR while you're in HR for sexual harassment?

18

u/kathartik Oct 16 '18

that's some Zack Morris level shit right there.

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17

u/Mirria_ Oct 16 '18

Maybe he'll be lucky and the arresting officer will be a woman.

6

u/elwebbr23 Oct 17 '18

Double or nothing!

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11

u/WallyPW Oct 16 '18

Challenge accepted?

9

u/IHaveSoulDoubt Oct 16 '18

That's them harassing you! If a woman sees a man crying and immediately whips out a boob and puts it in front of his face? Yeah.... SHE'S the predator.

Flip it around and replace it with a dick. She's definitely the predator.

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11

u/callmeEmz Oct 16 '18

Was having a crappy day and this made me burst out laughing so thank you

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4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '18

HR wants to speak with me. Greatest comment ever. Thanks for the laugh.

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49

u/cyrixdx4 Oct 16 '18

MOM I NEED MY TENDIES!!! REEEEEEEE

18

u/OFTHEHILLPEOPLE Oct 16 '18

AND A CHICKEN CORDON BLEU WITHOUT THE CHEESE!

15

u/Derkus19 Oct 16 '18

So just like chicken and ham? Ew.

9

u/Ewokmauler Oct 16 '18

Can I just have the Cordon Bleu?

5

u/cyrixdx4 Oct 16 '18

ok that's just over the top now.

7

u/b_fellow Oct 16 '18

Sometimes you gotta tell your teenagers "No more breastfeeding anymore!"

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13

u/Ghibli_lives_in_me Oct 16 '18

This one is true my wife feeds me when ever I cry.

13

u/n00bvin Oct 16 '18

Me too. She gives a nice big helping of shut the fuck up, you baby.

7

u/joedumpster Oct 16 '18

Worse still, you're teaching your kids to see milk as good and they'll reject a vegan lifestyle.

4

u/dman2316 Oct 16 '18

I'm still disappointed that didn't turn out to be true.

3

u/Inquisitor1 Oct 16 '18

immediately.

Ha! Funny.

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110

u/nthensome Oct 16 '18

Fun fact: all cannibals were once babies.

Babies born from women!

Women with breasts!!

17

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Destroy women, achieve world peace.

15

u/Koentinius Oct 16 '18

There can't be war if there are no people!

4

u/Sangxero Oct 16 '18

Woah there, Ultron!

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244

u/Bombsquadrent Oct 16 '18

Breastfeeding daughters makes them instant lesbians

75

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

[deleted]

18

u/Josh6889 Oct 16 '18

The whole time they've just been waiting to get back in someone else's.

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139

u/Cookie_Brookie Oct 16 '18

It's true. I breastfed my son until he was about 10 months old. Now at 13 months he has bitten me several times.

I refuse to believe that it is caused by teething or just general toddler weirdness. He is definitely a cannibal, and it is all my fault.

63

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Then you have to let him in on his cravings. Go kill a human for him. It's the only way to appease his appetite.

52

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

This doesn't sound quite right, but I don't know enough about baby nutrition to dispute it.

52

u/EggplantJuice Oct 16 '18

Well babies tend to be pretty nutritious as long as you don't overcook them.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

It's all in the book.

https://imgur.com/gallery/3447zC9

(this took way too long to upload than I'm willing to admit)

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4

u/GoldFishPony Oct 16 '18

Sorry to inform you but you probably don’t have much longer to live. I ate my mom when I was 5 and have been eating women ever since. Good luck with avoiding being eaten.

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37

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

[deleted]

24

u/samx3i Oct 16 '18

90% of submissions on this sub are people overreacting to jokes.

12

u/omnicidial Oct 16 '18

FYI: my comment was satire too, I don't think breast feeding causes cannibalism.

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19

u/Slippery-Weasel Oct 16 '18

If you feed your son, you’re spoiling them. Starve them sometime, and thank me later /s

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2.2k

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

429

u/wadebaldwin Oct 16 '18

Should have broken both your arms.

236

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I’ve come to realize that there is no escaping once you’ve read that story. You just have to keep getting constant, unexpected reminders everywhere you go on reddit.

45

u/yungvibegod2 Oct 16 '18

Can you explain or link me to what this is referencing?

58

u/yeetboy Oct 16 '18

59

u/limeyptwo Oct 16 '18

Beware this thread. What can be read cannot be unread.
Ceddit

41

u/kathartik Oct 16 '18

I guess you can get the bad taste out of your mouth with some nice Jolly Ranchers.

29

u/Metropolis9999 Oct 16 '18

:|

21

u/NECROmorph_42 Oct 16 '18

If you’re feeling ill you can use this box over here

14

u/asifbaig Oct 16 '18

Why not the coconut?

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7

u/Metropolis9999 Oct 16 '18

Excuse me while I vomit.

We have gone too far.

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11

u/BouquetOfPenciIs Oct 16 '18

Yeetboy beat me to it. Read knowing that there's no going back; sometimes ignorance is indeed bliss.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

You are probably better off not knowing

5

u/HotgunColdheart Oct 16 '18

Now that reddit has enlightened you with this greatness, I must ask.

Are you familiar with the Jolly Rancher story?

5

u/yungvibegod2 Oct 16 '18

Haha i am not, tell me more.

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8

u/btmvideos37 Oct 16 '18

I know right!

15

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

And left! It was both of them.

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12

u/Worthstream Oct 16 '18

Every thread.

11

u/limeyptwo Oct 16 '18

EVERY. FUCKING. THREAD.

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18

u/jhan56 Oct 16 '18

Rodney? Is that you?

11

u/Marijuana_Miler Oct 16 '18

Pretty soon you’re gonna have your 10,000 hours of being in the friend zone.

3

u/myvinylheart Oct 16 '18

Achievement unlocked

9

u/starrpamph Oct 16 '18

adjusts tie. Rodney 'jaa12064' Dangerfield

6

u/Wololo--Wololo Oct 16 '18

Ooooouch... you so ugly, you got friendzoned by yo' mama!

4

u/Naptownfellow Oct 16 '18

unexpected Rodney Dangerfield

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1.4k

u/BeholdMyAnoos Oct 16 '18 edited Nov 09 '18

If you breastfeed your daughters, you are training them to be lesbians when they grow up. You are basically teaching them that they can touch a woman's body whenever they want.

If you oppose lesbianism, stop breastfeeding girls!

151

u/Fattydog Oct 16 '18

And it you change your chi!d's nappy aren't you sexually touching them without their consent? And no I'm not exaggerating. There are seriously peop!e who think this shit.

72

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

are you purposely typing an exclamation point instead of a lower case l?

42

u/sharky143 Oct 16 '18

It's only on a couple of the l's too

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Now I really hope we'll get an answer to this.

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11

u/caanthedalek Oct 16 '18

I don't see what the prob!em is.

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14

u/Cosmo_Naught17 Oct 16 '18

Let's just all become extinct then roflmao

11

u/simsimulation Oct 16 '18

If you feed your children, you are training them to be eaters when they grow up. You are basically teaching them that they can eat whenever they want.

If you oppose feeding, stop feeding children.

19

u/Fattydog Oct 16 '18

19

u/DebentureThyme Oct 16 '18

8

u/SleetTheFox Oct 16 '18

Yeah but how can we get mad about how dumb the "other" is if we actually listen to what they're saying?

6

u/Shakes8993 Oct 16 '18

Though she does say that you should ask, just that not to expect the baby to respond. I think that's a little silly as well. I get what she is saying and I do believe that you should let your kids know that their response matters and not the "be seen, not heard" mentality of every other generation, but there is a time and place for that and it's certainly not non-verbal infants. That's still crazy in my opinion. 2 year olds are going to ask "why?, why? why?" over and over again regardless.

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543

u/dontbespeciesist Oct 16 '18

Let's all agree to ignore trolls like this. The world would be so much better.

168

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

48

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18 edited Feb 21 '19

[deleted]

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37

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Usually not even an extremist, like in this case. This is from a troll account. The craziest stuff usually isn't real.

10

u/PineapplePoppadom Oct 16 '18

In this case it's about finding an anti-feminist troll making a dumb joke and reposting it as genuine feminist thought to poison the well against them. This is not a real feminist.

17

u/cakemania Oct 16 '18

And if you can't find anything extremist, just make the comments yourself to prove how crazy "the other side" is.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Or in this case, posing as an extremist to make them seem real.

3

u/TotesMessenger Oct 16 '18

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

 If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

27

u/apfollett Oct 16 '18

The profile it came from is obviously a troll.

31

u/FriedBack Oct 16 '18

The thing is, then they go unchecked. And they find their way into the Whitehouse.

82

u/PM_ME_GRAMMAR_LESSON Oct 16 '18

The thing is, I'm quite sure the majority of upvotes comes from people not realizing this is a fake post to incite hatred.

How in the world is putting this on r/facepalm any way of keeping this shit in check?

42

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

It's literally just a post designed to make people mad at each other and splinter any shared identity. There's no group of people who actually believe this, but it's easy to project it onto whoever.

22

u/PM_ME_GRAMMAR_LESSON Oct 16 '18

Exactly. This being on r/facepalm is in itself worthy r/facepalm material... Or maybe it would be if this sub wasn't filled with shit like this already.

10

u/random_creepy_guy Oct 16 '18

It's from a twitter account @aliaabeed.. and looking at the account, i think it's just making fun of these things.

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u/transmogrify Oct 16 '18

Much of /r/insanepeoplefacebook is fake, either for the pointless karma or to call incite rage against the supposed real group being spoofed. I cringe so hard watching people try to construct some kind of personal ideology about opposing these posts. "Blah blah blah women R feminazis something something male genocide." Fuckin' get real people.

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559

u/shogi_x Oct 16 '18

Has to be satire.

164

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18 edited Oct 16 '18

It's a completely fake tweet, I saw a version with the username and looked it up and it didn't exist. Too many people are falling for this

Edit: Turns out it's a real account, but still an obvious troll

61

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

It's from an account called AliaAbeed. You can look at the insane stuff they constantly tweet and somehow people actually still react to it like its a real person.

33

u/transmogrify Oct 16 '18 edited Oct 16 '18

Much of /r/insanepeoplefacebook is fake, either for the pointless karma or to incite rage against the supposed real group being spoofed. I cringe so hard watching people try to construct some kind of personal ideology about opposing these posts. "Blah blah blah women R feminazis something something male genocide." Fuckin' get real people.

4

u/GobBluth19 Oct 16 '18

Every sub based around mocking pictures of text strawmen is fake

55

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

[deleted]

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u/Talmonis Oct 16 '18

It's more likely propaganda designed to make people mad at feminists, and discredit #metoo.

46

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I'm questioning everything now. If I see something that legitimately makes me mad, I ask myself "Who am I mad at and why?" If it's a group or movement whose extremists I already am not overly keen on, I chalk it up as fake and move on. Even if it's legit, it's kinder on my blood pressure to ignore it and there are thousands who will be angry in my place, I'm sure.

23

u/Talmonis Oct 16 '18

To be honest, that's a really healthy outlook. I wish I had the self-control to not obsess over this shit. The constant stream of red flags and warning signs has me well over the edge into near constant anxiety.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Well I've thought things online have gotten particularly bad in the last couple of years, but if it's true that Russia has been shitstirring then it kind of all falls into place. I stopped using Facebook as I was just getting angry, and I was catching myself reading comments on news stories I knew would be full of people making me angry. I don't know why I did it, but it wasn't healthy. But maybe a good chunk of it is Russian shitstirring bitches, trying to make the West tear itself apart.

I mean, people are inherently bad, but this gives me hope that they aren't that bad.

6

u/MakeUpAnything Oct 16 '18

It doesn’t even need to be Russian. Tons of people around the world can lie and make shit up just to stir the pot. Making far away faceless strangers go into all caps text rages is what brings joy to some people’s lives.

6

u/GobBluth19 Oct 16 '18

Its simple, get mad when people in power do things that have an effect

Don't get mad when random nobodies online that could easily be trolls, say dumb shit

3

u/Talmonis Oct 16 '18

The issue with this, is when only the trolls are left, with no voices speaking out against their lies, the passive and ignorant will take it as fact.

4

u/GobBluth19 Oct 16 '18

Oh definitely didn't mean don't call out these posts for being bs, that's needed

123

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

They should've done a better job at making it sound less fake, cuz this shit is fake.

62

u/NEEDZMOAR_ Oct 16 '18

comments above this one believe its real. If people want to be outraged they will find a reason.

37

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Well TiA exists, so you're definitely right about that

116

u/Talmonis Oct 16 '18

They're not the smartest people, but look through this very thread; tons of people pointing out how insane "she" is.

47

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

You're right, damn. Those are at least people who probably weren't about to have nuanced views on feminism anyway, though.

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u/Talmonis Oct 16 '18

I hope you're right. I increasingly worry that they're the average American who ignores politics.

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u/transmogrify Oct 16 '18

Or they just know their audience will eat it up anyway. Since when has the alt right needed a minimum bar of authenticity to anything they believe?

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

"Libtards owned" -Ben Franklin

10k upvotes on T_D

14

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

They did a great job. Lots of angry people in here.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Plenty of people here believe it's real. Many people on Reddit have seen so many of these fake "dumb SJW" posts that there's no longer much limit on what they'll believe is real when it comes to these things. They don't actually know what these sorts of people really act like because the fake versions are more entertaining so they make up most of the examples they see.

15

u/JBagelMan Oct 16 '18

Doesn’t matter if it sounds fake anyone can just delude themselves into thinking it’s real so that it fits their worldview.

8

u/quaybored Oct 16 '18

"It's the kind of thing they would say!"

4

u/GobBluth19 Oct 16 '18

Except look at the rest of the comments

They want to get stupid people baited, they don't want anyone that thinks for half a second prior to getting outraged

Its like Nigerian scammers intentionally using poor grammar

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u/gonzofish Oct 16 '18

With a little digging I found the Twitter it came from and the profile reads like a checklist of alt-right complaints. Even a post where she had her “5 year old nephew try on a dress because he might be trans” and multiple posts about how “men are trash”

It’s just too on the nose to be real. If it is, it’s a person not connected with reality

35

u/Legalsandwich Oct 16 '18

It's more likely propaganda designed to make people mad at feminists, and discredit #metoo.

Agreed.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

This smacks of Russian division trolls. No one thinks this, but it gets people mad, and convinces them that the opposing group is no longer human.

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u/BrainPicker3 Oct 16 '18

Had to go wayyyyyy too far down for this comment.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Lmao besides being a necessity for a baby (yes I realize you don't have to breastfeed), isn't the mother giving consent there? How is that rape?

And yes, people are insane.

478

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Exactly, if anything the mother is raping the baby since you can't legally gain a child's consent.

327

u/JadenIRL Oct 16 '18

So, all breast feeding mothers are Pedophiles?

Must tell the wife...

172

u/bumbling_fool_ Oct 16 '18

♪♫♬ SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTED ME CALLIN ME ALL THE TIME LIKE BLONDIE ♪♫♬

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u/jerpod Oct 16 '18

My boyfriend sings this everytime I feed our daughter. I sing it in my head now when he's not around.

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u/DrJitterBug Oct 16 '18

♪♫♬Check out my chrissy behind

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of peaches? Huh? What?♪♫♬

21

u/Professor_Owl Oct 16 '18

"Fuck the pain away, Fuck the pain away."

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Fuck the pain away

11

u/UltimateInferno Oct 16 '18

I saw a tweet where this one woman confessed to masturbating while breastfeeding

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

No. No no no. Please. NO. Delete this before some other poor soul reads it.

5

u/GoldFishPony Oct 16 '18

Wow sounds like you’re pretty not fucking happy right now

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u/PuttyGod Oct 16 '18

Well now I know this.

Thanks, for that - I hate it.

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u/tibtibs Oct 16 '18

I'm pretty sure that if I get any sexual turn on while feeding my infant, I'll switch to formula immediately. Oh my God... Does that just happen to people or is she just sick? Now I have a new fear.

3

u/dizzyelephant Oct 16 '18

Don't stress about it. I secretly worried about that while i was pregnant because i enjoyed nipple stimulation during foreplay, but the letdown of milk and the baby feeding is a completely different sensation from how it feels during sexytime.

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u/Cookie_Brookie Oct 16 '18

My 13 month old has started shaking his head no sometimes when I try to change his diaper. I am obviously assaulting this poor child. I should just leave him with a poopy butt, since that is what he wants.

7

u/continental-drift Oct 16 '18

There was a big story at the start of the year in Australia about parents having to ask their children’s permission to change their nappy. I just assumed my son didn’t want to sit in him shit and piss so I changed him.

I’m a monster.

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u/Egwene-or-Hermione Oct 16 '18

How exactly do you force a baby to breastfeed?

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u/not-a-painting Oct 16 '18

you can't. some latch, some don't.

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u/raz_MAH_taz Oct 16 '18

No. Let's not even entertain the idea that there's any iota of truth here.

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u/CircleDog Oct 16 '18

It's fake. Not sjws. Not Anita. Not liberals. Just fake.

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u/Winter_is_Here_MFs Oct 16 '18

I’m sure it’s concern trolling

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u/Herro-There Oct 16 '18

Breastfeeding helps establish the babies' microbiota. While it doesnt seem neccesary in the near future, it really helps in the long run with having a healthier life.

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u/maikit333 Oct 16 '18

imagine being this easily trolled

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u/TeenyTwoo Oct 16 '18

It's a "parody" account. Search "if you breastfeed your sons" on Twitter to find it because I can't link personal info. You'll find the account and the discussion.

Highlights from the account include "I'd invite furry gays to my mosque because they're cute", curiously they're tweeting from a jail cell in Egypt, also the Sydney aquarium needs accommodations for gay penguins

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Satire.

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u/e-s-p Oct 16 '18

Not satire. Just troll.

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u/peypeyy Oct 16 '18

You are just easily trolled...

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u/124862 Oct 16 '18

Obviously fucking satire

32

u/babyhandedtheif Oct 16 '18

Quit upvoting low-effort shitposts that are clearly satire.

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u/JimmyDonovan Oct 16 '18

Okay. Let's calm down for a moment. You can deduce logically that this is most probably a troll. How many people have you met that don't know that breastfeeding is normal for a baby? None, I guess. And even if there are some, there is no logical connection between this and rape. What is more probable is that this is a scheme we see a lot these days: Trolls that try to trigger hate between opposing groups in the most emotionally discussed topics of our time. This is aiming for the "me too"-discussion, I guess. While no side really is for rape, there are a lot of people that think most rape-allegations go too far and thus men are the real victims of that debate. I think, that this post has one goal: Denouncing the meeto-people by making them look ridiculous, dumb and hateful.

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u/Talmonis Oct 16 '18

That is exactly what it is. The right has been out in force lately, trying to make feminists out to be insane.

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u/BrainPicker3 Oct 16 '18

Ive actually had someone unironically say to me that this all started when we gave ‘them’ the right to vote

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u/TheDerkman Oct 16 '18

It is a right wing troll account. Other posts from the account talk about Bill Clinton diddling Monica, MAGA, etc. What's funny is if you google the tweet in quotes you can find a ton of right wings sources publishing this as though it's real.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Oh, please. This has got to be tongue-in-cheek.

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u/thebibleman119 Oct 16 '18 edited Oct 16 '18

r/woooosh ? Idk this seems like a joke id make

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Yup I'd add an extra o to that link r/wooosh don't go anywhere

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

For anyone else, like me, who went looking for this subreddit, it's r/insanepeoplefacebook

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u/beado7 Oct 16 '18

Imma be sad if this is on r/woooosh because I believe there are people believing this.

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u/Young_Hickory Oct 16 '18

This has to be either sarcasm or a troll.

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u/Lim_C137 Oct 16 '18

It's actually a fake account pretending to be a muslim woman. Someone exposed that it's a fake account. Lately the right wing groups in India have been doing such stuff to defame Muslims.

10

u/germaly Oct 16 '18

This has Ken M written all over it.

6

u/MrsSaltMine Oct 16 '18

Excuse me what the fuck

3

u/Spatzenkind Oct 16 '18

a device that slaps you everytime you mention something dumb would be a death penalty for some people.

13

u/centralperk_7 Oct 16 '18

This is satire. Please tell me this is satire.

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u/limeyptwo Oct 16 '18

4chan troll

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u/Thermix7 Oct 16 '18

For sure a joke tho right?

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u/MaximumGaming5o Oct 16 '18

99% sure this is satire

5

u/BrightLucca Oct 16 '18

I am reading this while I am breastfeeding my son. Not even kidding.

4

u/GucciGameboy Oct 16 '18

Satire...obviously

4

u/Butweye Oct 17 '18

Obvious fake trolling is obvious and fake.

22

u/depthperception00 Oct 16 '18

Facebook was so much better when you had to have attended a university to join.

6

u/Lucky-NiP Oct 16 '18

This post doesn't look like Facebook to me.

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u/Avorius Oct 16 '18

this has to be a troll, not even the most militant SJW is this stupid

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

This reads like an anti-feminist from 4chan trying to impersonate and undermine actual feminists

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u/pineappleandmilk Oct 16 '18

I’m Jenny McCarthy and I approve this message.

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u/PleaseDontHateMeeee Oct 16 '18

The real facepalm is thinking this shit is real.

3

u/DemonLordDiablos Oct 16 '18

Guys come on this is clearly satire.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Trolllllll

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Don't worry it's satire.

3

u/Zack_Fair_ Oct 16 '18

hello, 4chan

3

u/thebotslayer Oct 16 '18

Omg it's only r/facepalm worthy when they're genuinely being idiots. This man is joking.

3

u/Unusualmann Oct 16 '18

13.2k upvotes on a troll post ffs