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u/werewolf013 8d ago
Well I'd sentence you to the gas chamber for the murders, but it appears juror number 8 already did that.
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u/RebekkaKat1990 8d ago
This makes no sense, the defendant would not be sitting with the jurors.
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u/werewolf013 8d ago
In what court are the jurors and defendant not in the same room?
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u/RebekkaKat1990 8d ago
Same room, sure, but usually on opposite ends of the room, roughly.
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u/TotallyNotShinobi 8d ago
more beans, then
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u/the1stmeddlingmage 7d ago
Nowhere near āopposite ends of the roomā. Especially in small town courtrooms with much more limited space which are far more common than the big spacious televised courtrooms. Source: been a juror before.
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u/MonstersinHeat 8d ago
I suggest adding a slice or two of keto bread. I had an English style breakfast once with beans, eggs, and keto bread that created the most powerful shit of my life. My wife told me she saw people running out of the bathroom laughing and gagging.
It was sort of glorious now that I think about itā¦
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u/Stretch5678 8d ago
āBailiff, bring Juror #7 a cork.ā
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u/Upstairs_Spray_5446 8d ago
EOD here
In this case Bailiff need for whole damn 30x90 AP. I will not risk with HE if Juror#7 can't stand/sit with it (collateral damage, you know)š
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u/Kain_713 7d ago
Not just a regular cork either, one of those tapered ones like in champagne bottles.
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u/mogley1992 8d ago
I'd say "this is what's for breakfast!?"
Then I'd be mumbling about "now i am saying guilty, i don't give a fuck about his alibi. Hard boiled eggs and beans, you can hang that fuck."
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u/Fantastic-Corner-605 8d ago
Your sentence is 2 hours in a room with Juror #3.
Your honor, I would rather take life without parole.
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u/peacefulshrimp 8d ago
I didnāt get it, can someone enlighten me?
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u/get-off-of-my-lawn 8d ago edited 8d ago
Edited - I thought this is what jury duty had provided. This is a deliberate attack on fellow jurors hahaha
Iād thought that: Itās a paltry offering akin to what the inmates and convicts inside get and itās guaranteed to create GI disturbances in a small enclosed area.
I didnāt realize itās someoneās breaky proper lol.
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u/lorryslorrys 7d ago
šµ Beans beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat the more you fart. šµ
Except that's only kind of true. If the OOP had the implied reaction from baked beans, then it's because they don't regularly eat sufficient fibre. But, I digress.
Eggs contain sulfer compounds that add unpleasant gasses to the farts.
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u/EmperorMittens 8d ago
If you are aiming for chaotic evil, then this would be the tipping point into it.
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u/get-off-of-my-lawn 8d ago
lol oh noā¦
Only tangentially related, this reminds me of the time I was in the inmate cage in the court room before the Judge had emerged from their chambers and the courtroom was me, the DA, the stenographer, and a couple of secretaries. I was training myself to make the water drop noise w my cheek/mouth and I got one to ring out so clearly and loudly in the quiet room that the DA looked up from the other side of the room. Was worried I was about to get a new charge for contempt or something but no, only the charge I was there for.
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u/Decent_Sky8237 8d ago
If thatās cold then uch!
If itās warm then fry or scramble the eggs instead of boiling them and have it with some toast!
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u/ominouslatinsentence 8d ago
I knew a guy who took something that induces vomiting right before jury selection. Started puking in the courtroom. Got dismissed from the pool.
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u/Material-Job-1928 7d ago
Dinner the night before should be fried seafood paired with anything from Anheuser-Busch
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u/Reagalan 7d ago
You can get out of jury duty by either:
- Pleading the 5th during voir dire (this signals that you're too smart to be on a jury)
or
- Answering "yes" when they ask the coded question about jury nullification (do you believe something something prevent you from rendering a verdict something that applies the law as written.)
and there's other ways too but I-ANAL.
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u/FuzzzyRam 8d ago
They pay you $15/day and legally require you to be there, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
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u/Upstairs_Spray_5446 8d ago
... until it consumed with rye bread AND garlic.