I'll be IMMORTAL!!!!

I am that awkward haha

HOW do I stop ruminating on things I don't like and focus on the stuff I like?, I know I should focus on the positive but whenever I try I just keep going back to thinking about stuff that I can't stand 24/7, its gotten to the point that I a feel anxious that I will never be positive and that I am stuck being a cynic for the rest of my life. HOW do I focus on the stuff that I like without being distracted by stuff that I DONT like at all

My mom is never satisfied. I love her, but she is impossible to please.

I make a point to spend time with her but no matter what, she always complains that i never spend time with her. We spend time together several times a week. I told her this and she still complains.

In college i would get so anxious every time i did anything fun bcs she would see me on life360 and freak out. I did it anyways but its easier to do when im hours away from her. Now i live with her.

i tried to bleach my hair and she started crying and freaked out and stopped me because she is terrified of me bleaching my hair for some reason. so now i have a splotchy bleach job at the top of my head.

I feel like i have to get permission for everything. New hairstyles/cut, piercings, ect.

My friends say i am an adult and i need to stop letting her get to me. But ive tried and i cant, i get so much anxiety. i cant even get her to not use life360 anymore.

How do i stop caring? im exhausted. i dont want to come home from a long day at work and have to entertain her until she goes to bed when im already exhausted and sore.

I had known her for the last year, and during that time, I started to have feelings for her. I told her how I felt, and she told me she doesn't feel the same way and wants us to remain just friends. I declined her offer, but the pain of the rejection still haunts me. Part of me still hopes she will come back and see things differently, while the other part says it's all done and dusted, and it's better to move on. Meanwhile, the pain of not being with her is still there. Seeing her talk to other guys feels like a dagger to my heart. It's been a month since I got rejected, and it still hurts. Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome this?

You know that feeling when you're nodding along in a meeting, agreeing with ideas that feel completely wrong? The fear of standing out keeps you quiet, even when your gut is screaming otherwise.

Here's what I've learned: when you constantly prioritize fitting in over speaking up, you lose touch with your own judgment. That inner compass gets weaker every time you ignore it.

Social approval feels good in the moment, but it comes at a cost. You start second-guessing your instincts and looking to others for answers you already have inside.

The people who make real impact aren't the ones following the crowd. They're the ones brave enough to trust their own voice, even when it's uncomfortable.

Your perspective matters. Your ideas have value. Stop letting social pressure silence what you know to be true.

I have never been more anxious. Like I literally won’t have any friends, won’t even use my phone, might embarrass myself infront of everyone or freeze when I get called out by a teacher. How do i stop being so damn anxious? Someone convince me to calm down

Surrender your being to Being. Uncover your natural spontaneity.

To imagine that you truly know what you will do tomorrow or even next week is pure delusion.

What a burden, what a narrowing, what a suffocation.

Life moves of itself. Spontaneous, vast, far greater than all your schemes and intentions combined.

Why diminish it with restless and empty projections?

Allow it to unfold as it does.

Abandon the urge to control or manipulate.

This is true Freedom.

I am all for following rules that are common sense. Such as, stopping at stop signs, to prevent the obvious.

It’s the black and white rules, the rules that don’t make sense. Such as standing at a crosswalk at 1:30AM , in pissing rain, waiting for the the little man that says ‘don’t walk’, to turn into the little man that says ‘walk’. Or, not being allowed to smoke a cigarette on the outer edge of and outdoor property, because it’s harmful unless I’m 3 steps more past ‘the boundary’, where I will be standing in a puddle, but still OK to smoke a cigarette. Etc…

I do what I do, and I accept the consequences of my actions. If I park in a no parking area and someone says move or you’ll get towed and I’m only there for two minutes to use my phone off the road. I’ll say call a tow truck, because by the time they get here I’ll be already home. But just saying that in rages people, trying to enforce the law.

What is going on for this one, who gets triggered when people don’t follow the rules

For those this triggers, ask that part of yourself that gives a fuck, where you are. If you’re in here reading this, what part of your self gives a fuck, why

I used to care what everyone thought about everything. What I wore, what I said, how I walked, if I laughed too loud. It was exhausting.

Then I learned one simple trick that changed everything.

The 10-10-10 rule:

Before you stress about something, ask yourself:

• Will this matter in 10 minutes?
• Will this matter in 10 months?
• Will this matter in 10 years?

If the answer is no to all three, don't give a fuck about it.

Here's what I stopped caring about:

• That awkward thing I said three conversations ago
• Whether people think my outfit is cool
• If someone doesn't text me back immediately
• Looking stupid when I ask questions
• What strangers on the internet think of my opinions

Here's what I still give a fuck about:

• How I treat people close to me
• Whether I'm growing as a person
• If my actions align with my values
• My health and relationships
• Being honest and kind

The difference? I stopped caring about things I can't control and started focusing on things I can.

What this looks like in practice:

Someone doesn't like your haircut? 10-10-10 test. Will this matter in 10 minutes? Probably not. Don't give a fuck.

Your friend is going through a hard time? 10-10-10 test. Will this matter in 10 years? Definitely. Give a fuck.

The weird thing that happened:

When I stopped caring about stupid shit, I had more energy to care about important shit. My relationships got better. My work improved. I felt lighter.

People actually respected me more because I wasn't constantly seeking their approval.

Not giving a fuck isn't about becoming cold or selfish. It's about being selective with your fucks. You only have so many to give spend them wisely.

For one week, every time you feel stressed or anxious, ask the 10-10-10 questions. You'll be surprised how much of your worry is about stuff that literally doesn't matter.

Save your energy for what actually counts.

Btw, I'm using Dialogue to listen to podcasts on books which has been a good way to replace my issue with doom scrolling. I used it to listen to the book "Everything is F*cked" which turned out to be a good read.

I think Bobby has the right idea here. He acknowledges something about himself that others may not like and instead of feeling bad about it he just goes with it, he even tells his mom (who was upset over her big feet) that it doesn't really matter. Anyway, I thought it was something nice to share on here.

Or is there any way to change my fluid intelligence?

Im sorry if here's not the place for this question.

I have been mentally slow my whole life.I got fooled,manipulated,made fun of because of this.I also have processing delay.Is there any way to fix this?

How am i supposed to be sure of myself when im slow.

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This isn't a knock against anyone that uses those pages, I get that sometimes you might be being gas lit and need/want some outside eyes/opinions. . . it's more that I don't understand some of them.

A lot of the stories on there are about "Person acted in a way that was messed up, so I gave them repercussions and/or set boundaries" stuff like that. But the thing is, even when the person I have set boundaries with says "you're being an asshole" I pretty much think to myself "yeah, that was sort of the point, glad you caught that"

Is this just a me thing?