r/hypotheticalsituation • u/Neither_Drawing_241 • 11h ago
You're offered $250 million to let Batman beat you up.
You need to commit a small crime like jaywalking first. Batman will give you the worst beating of your life. You'll be in a coma for one month, then spend 10 years slowly recovering from severe injuries and brain damage.
During recovery, you'll be paralyzed but gradually regain the ability to walk. After 10 years, you'll be completely healed and magically become 18 years old again with a perfect healthy healed body. A billionaire of the name Bruce Wayne will pay all your medical bills and give you $250 million. (This is an offer you can refuse)
Batman would become real and all of DC basically if you accept this deal.
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u/ilikespicysoup 11h ago
Not if all of DC becomes real, the world sucks enough without super villains and world ending threats.
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u/Golarion 10h ago
Yeah, the money is irrelevant if your uni/multiverse gets retconned out of existence every 15 years.
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u/team_suba 10h ago
Yeah I just feel like you’d never be able to set foot in a city like Gotham / metropolis. I dunno how these guys fight supervillains and destroy cities without massive civilian casualties but I’m not risking it. After I get my 250 I’m moving to the middle of no where, where nothing ever happens.
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u/Agreeable_Past9674 10h ago
We have super villains now. They just build shitty electric trucks and sabotage labor unions
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u/ilikespicysoup 10h ago
True, but as shitty as Musk, Bezos and the like are, they don't hold a candle to Lex, Ra's, Joker, etc. And that just (mostly) baseline human villains, not Darkseid, Zod, etc.
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u/Agreeable_Past9674 10h ago
If you believe in climate change and the terror inherent to supporting facist media outlets... idk. Our current super villains might prove to be world-enders after all
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u/ilikespicysoup 10h ago
Ya, but Zod could do it in an afternoon.
Super easy barely an inconvenience.
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u/GWPtheTrilogy1 11h ago
No. This sounds insane. 10 years of misery recovering from severe physical and mental defects nah I'm good.
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u/boxesofboxes 10h ago
Even with the perfect heal and the de-age, 10 years is a long time. Not even mentioning the DC universe becoming real, that place sucks.
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u/IAmNotABabyElephant 10h ago
You lost me at the last part. I wouldn't want to live in any big comics universe. Too many mass casualty events happen, too many monsters and supervillains, all that. Hard pass.
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u/theRestisConfettii 10h ago
I love how you had to specify that the billionaire is Bruce Wayne.
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u/Misplacedwaffle 9h ago
Yeah. Haha. So random. Wonder why he picked Bruce Wayne. Like, what does he have to do with Batman?
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u/BaelgorStar 10h ago
Had me until "Batman will become real and all of DC". I'd be condemning myself to hell. DC's entire Earth is destroyed like twice a year, on top of whatever city I settle in being attacked by juice-up/kitted-up thugs with lasers. Nah.
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u/Massive_Spot6238 9h ago
Lmao all facts. If the high level villains aren’t creating a world ending event then the low level villains are killing families and friends. The DC universe is darkly dangerous.
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u/balthazar_edison 10h ago
Yes. 100% 250 million to be in 10 years of pain but then be 18 again?
It’d be like taking all of the emotional and physical distress of just living on this god awful planet and smooshing it all into one incident and then the rest of your life is perfect.
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u/ilikespicysoup 10h ago
But while you are on your smallish yacht, superman punches Doomsday into the ocean next to you, capsizing it and drowning you and your supermodel girlfriend(s).
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u/MeridianNZ 10h ago
So 10 years of pain and suffering to be taken back to 10 years younger than my kids will be and like 50 years younger than my wife and live in the DC world with Batman doing things and all that carry on. Money is fine but I think ill pass.
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u/Dulce_suenos 10h ago
No, thanks. I have watched my BIL suffer - and mostly recover from - an anoxic brain injury over the past six years, and I don’t want to go through that for any amount of money.
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u/PathosRise 10h ago
Uhhh... no. Because for 10 years I would not be able to live independently. I hate the idea of that to much.
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u/RedvsBlack4 10h ago
All of DC becoming real means the likelihood of the world ending or my city suddenly being destroyed increases exponentially so no.
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u/CrazyEyes326 10h ago
then spend 10 years slowly recovering
"Oh, no, fuck that."
After 10 years, you'll be completely healed and magically become 18 years old again with a perfect healthy healed body
"Oh! Oh, actually that sounds-"
Batman would become real and all of DC basically
"Oh, no, fuck that."
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u/banblaccents 10h ago
Nope. I don’t want to live during a Crisis or any kind of major crossover event that cancels my reality.
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u/TheHvam 8h ago
No, mostly just because I don't want DC to become real, their earth doesn't have a good time to often, like for real, just think about how many people die in the DC universe, constant supervillain attacks, intergalactic planet destroying entities exist, and way more, just no thanks.
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
Copy of the original post in case of edits: You need to commit a small crime like jaywalking first. Batman will give you the worst beating of your life. You'll be in a coma for one month, then spend 10 years slowly recovering from severe injuries and brain damage.
During recovery, you'll be paralyzed but gradually regain the ability to walk. After 10 years, you'll be completely healed and magically become 18 years old again with a perfect healthy healed body. A billionaire of the name Bruce Wayne will pay all your medical bills and give you $250 million. (This is an offer you can refuse)
Batman would become real and all of DC basically if you accept this deal.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Ingwall-Koldun 10h ago
So my wife spends 10 miserable years taking care of me, and then she's 55 and I am 18? Hard pass.
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u/Love2FlyBalloons 10h ago
Must be compensation the judge ordered him to give me for messing me up so bad. LOL. I mean all over Jay walking. I think all this crime fighting has gone to his head. I mean dude you got anger issues and need to be taken off the streets. lol
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u/Zazilium 10h ago
I was gonna say no because 10 years of suffering is not worth 250mil but if I get to be 18 again AND rich, plus all my expenses are paid for then yes.
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u/Just_a_Tonberry 10h ago
You know what? It sounds awful, but I think I might actually take this. 250 mil is enough to purchase the last vial of super serum on Earth. The permanent one, not that crappy one Luthor took in All-Star Superman.
Being 18 again *and* being able to buy Superman's powers? Yeah, count me in.
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u/Sneezy6510 10h ago
That’s a tough offer to pass up without the money. 10 years of suffering for a second chance at your 20’s in the DC universe. I mean common.
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u/Ragnarok345 10h ago
I’m so sick of people misunderstanding Batman. His attacks are directly proportional to the violence of the criminal, including simply restraining them if they’re not fighting back. Soon as he sees you, just stop moving and raise your hands. The worse that’ll happen is you get knocked out. So if we’re going with the reality of what would actually happen, then sure.
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u/OhSorryEhh 10h ago
It was already pretty bad with the crazy pain, relearning to walk and all that, but add in making superheros and therefore supervillains real? Yeah fuck that.
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u/Humble_Umpire_8341 10h ago
The most wild part about this situation to me is that at the end, I become the same age as my youngest will be in 10 years. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the all of DC comes to life, or Batman beating me into a coma and basically being bedridden for 10 years. But to go from an adult who’s older than my son to basically an equal to my son was the most profound part of the offer.
$250m though, so I accept.
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u/altech6983 10h ago
I was all, that will suck but perfect health after would be great, so yes.
Got to the bottom, FUCK NO. GTFO.
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u/RealAnise 9h ago
I already had to do basically all of the first paragraph after a car accident, except that Batman was not involved. Seriously though-- the problem is that you mention a perfectly healthy body, but what about the brain? I was 18 when the accident happened. Unless the brain is included, no deal.
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u/Dishonored83 9h ago
10 years of not raising my kids then suddenly looking to be the same age as them?.... mmmmm naw.... my husband already looks like Father Time. That'd be too weird
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u/ChildOfChimps 9h ago
Holy shit, yes.
Like, first of all, de-aging me would be amazing. And to be rich? Sign me up. The tech is better. SUPERMAN IS REAL. The afterlife? Real.
Sure, your life would get rebooted multiple times before you healed up because that’s DC as fuck, but other than that, everything is gravy.
I’m there, dude.
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u/Skellish 9h ago
Dog, I thought that said $250 and I was still heavily considering it. When i saw million? And paid medical bills? Instantaneous yes. Edit: Wait I missed the all of dc being real. Hmm. On the fence with that one
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u/Sithari___Chaos 9h ago
So if I understand this right the downsides are
- Get beat within an inch of your life by a guy who knows how to hurt you without killing you
- Lose 1 month of your life to a coma
- Basically lose 10 years of your life being hospitalized
- Spend 10 years suffering
- Depending on your age the regression could make you outlive your friends and family
- All of the DC universe's problems like supervillains and world ending catastrophes with high civilian death tolls become real
And to compensate the upsides are
- Live a comfortable lifestyle where you probably don't need a job
Who would ever choose yes?
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u/DarthSheogorath 8h ago
Choose yes, but make killing the joker your crime. There's no way you'd get convicted for that.
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u/Konnorwolf 4h ago edited 4h ago
Being 18 with a healthy body HELPS. Yet that ten years of hell makes it not worth it.
And DC universe becoming real is drama the world doesn't need.
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u/Successful-Ad4251 2h ago
Sure whatever. I’ll move to the Midwest. As long as I don’t live in a big city they won’t even bother with me
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u/benspags94 1h ago
If DC becomes real am I able to gain access to the speed force or something cool? If not then hell nah being a normal person in the DC universe sucks 😭
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u/Mr_Blorbus 11h ago
If I actually revert in age and get to live longer than I normally would, then yes absolutely. And DC becomes real so there's a good afterlife if I'm a good person? Then double absolutely.
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u/ForeignLow6376 11h ago edited 10h ago
>Batman would become real and all of DC basically if you accept this deal.
My face when Darkseid releases Parademon onto earth and flash creates 16 flashpoints in a year. Hell no i am not taking this deal