r/hypotheticalsituation 5h ago

You received job offer from a serial-killer

You have been contacted by a serial killer for a job offer. This particular serial-killer is a multi millionaire and he can set you up for the life.

Your job is to decide the target for your new Boss. That's it.

Boss likes the challenge. Tougher the task, more he enjoys it. More powerful the target more he will like it. He does not much care about the right and wrong but is smart enough to know that he can't just kill anyone at anytime. He is not trigger happy or loose canon. Act of killing is not important to him. It is managing to do it against all the odds.

You realize that your Boss is hyper competent. He has not failed any his kill yet. He is methodical about it and often makes his kills look like accidents.

So will you take this job?
Will you be able to make the nerve to decide the target knowing that you will be sending someone to early grave?

Conditions :
- Your Boss won't ever kill you so you don't have to live in fear of that (unless of course you decided to turn him to police). You will infact become BFFs after 10 successful hits.
- He will not kill anyone unless you decide for him.
- He requires at least one target in every 6 month from you.
- You must give him targets that are infact doable. It is expected that you do some initial research on the target before giving to Boss. It is not just about giving a name.

32 Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

38

u/Metalhead-Milhouse 4h ago

Where do I sign? The boss is about to get very busy!

26

u/OtisDriftwood1978 4h ago

I’d give him the name of different drug lords, crime bosses, dictators, etc.

7

u/Bradadonasaurus 3h ago

Time to look up that online database of convicted pedophiles.

2

u/bogeypro 1h ago

No, pedophiles that used big money lawyers to get off on a technicality, should be number one.

u/Bradadonasaurus 16m ago

Do the lawyers go on the list too?

2

u/Master_Matoya 2h ago

This, + the occasional Highschool hit list.

Edit: To Clarify, I mean a list of people from Highschool I knew and still hold grudges against due to how they were treating either me or people I knew, or they owed me like 5 bucks and never paid it back. Wholesale Dwarven Book of Grudges shit.

1

u/Kestrel_VI 1h ago

I guess the interesting part would be balancing finding a target that’s hard to get to, but not too high profile and protected.

You’ll want to keep your job after all, it’s no good if he gets killed or captured.

1

u/OtisDriftwood1978 1h ago

I’m fine if he gets caught as long as I made a substantial amount of money beforehand.

12

u/Wonderful-Tea-9074 4h ago

Best scenario EVER

9

u/Ghaticus 4h ago

Hmmm...

Challenge accepted.

As you are now the targeting officer (for want of a better term) you have an insane level of responsibility.

For example:

If it needs to be a challenge then Fred Bloggs who cut you off in traffic is not suitable.

You need to consider the aftermath of selecting, let's say, a political figure or a CEO etc.

Martyrdom is not necessarily a good thing to do to someone. Does the company collapse putting thousands out of work?

Shit can cascade real quick.

6

u/BumblebeeBorn 2h ago

Companies don't collapse when the CEO goes. They collapse if the product is no longer viable.

Now, consider the case of Luigi Mancione. Insurance companies might be at risk of lower profits but nobody's closing hospitals. Honestly, I would expect everyone to still have a job if the US nationalised its healthcare, though a few of those jobs would change.

1

u/mandichi 2h ago

As you do research for the bigger more political and economic names you can do some far cry level clean up. Leaders of notorious gangs, for example. It would be a fun challenge I think. Definitely worth the twice a year minimum.

6

u/Radgewf 4h ago

I'd target corrupt politicians or dangerous criminals who escaped justice. Feels like a twisted way to serve some greater good while saving myself from becoming a victim

9

u/Noe_b0dy 3h ago

You must give him targets that are infact doable.

So like heads of state yeah or neigh?

6

u/Serene_Druchii 3h ago

LOL this is everyone's first question.

5

u/UWontHearMeAnyway 4h ago

So like... when do i start?

5

u/SergDerpz 3h ago

One target in every 6 months? He's that good that no kill will take him less than 6 months?

Damn.

What is considered doable?

3

u/Limitedtugboat 2h ago

Hes a serial killer not a lunatic. He probably needs some downtime between them. And depending on how important the person is it might take some recon work and casing the target

3

u/WhimsicalHoneybadger 2h ago

Deal. The list of truly awful, criminally corrupt politicians is LONG

3

u/Admast79 4h ago

Hmm.

What if we won't be able to complete the task? Or be caught/ killed?

3

u/naruto7bond 4h ago

If you failed then you try again.

If you are killed well then not much can be done.

As mentioned you are to do initial research on the target. Which means scoping out where target lives, his basic routine, possible security etc.

Boss will do his own research later on so it is fine if yours is only basic research.

But yeah you have tied your fate with Boss's fate. So you have to think about that before deciding the target.

u/Admast79 34m ago

Oh well, I think I would have a few names of people that should be 6 feet under long time ago...

And these are not a good people.

3

u/Serene_Druchii 3h ago

Absolutely yes. If he's a serial killer, he's going to kill people anyway. I can at least do some good by channeling his murderous tendencies toward truly awful people. 6 months is plenty of time to do some thorough research and find someone who needs killing.

2

u/Kireigna 3h ago

Death note but it's a job

2

u/mandichi 2h ago

More CEOs are about to live in fear muahahaha

Na but seriously, this is like having a hitman on retainer. And he pays me instead of the other way around? Never thought I'd be into trophy hunting, looks like I just needed the right motivation.

1

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Copy of the original post in case of edits: You have been contacted by a serial killer for a job offer. This particular serial-killer is a multi millionaire and he can set you up for the life.

Your job is to decide the target for your new Boss. That's it.

Boss likes the challenge. Tougher the task, more he enjoys it. More powerful the target more he will like it. He does not much care about the right and wrong but is smart enough to know that he can't just kill anyone at anytime. He is not trigger happy or loose canon. Act of killing is not important to him. It is managing to do it against all the odds.

You realize that your Boss is hyper competent. He has not failed any his kill yet. He is methodical about it and often makes his kills look like accidents.

So will you take this job?
Will you be able to make the nerve to decide the target knowing that you will be sending someone to early grave?

Conditions :

  • Your Boss won't ever kill you so you don't have to live in fear of that (unless of course you decided to turn him to police). You will infact become BFFs after 10 successful hits.
  • He will not kill anyone unless you decide for him.
  • He requires at least one target in every 6 month from you.
  • You must give him targets that are infact doable. It is expected that you do some initial research on the target before giving to Boss. It is not just about giving a name.

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1

u/Hour_Mousse7914 3h ago

🥹 job goals

1

u/Ms_Fu 3h ago

So...I have a Death Note?

1

u/whatshouldIdo28 3h ago

Omg yay it's a dream job

1

u/Substantial-News-336 3h ago

So my jobs, is to make my boss work? Sign me the fuck up! Heck, you can even turn this into something good

1

u/SolidLost5625 2h ago

where do I sign?

1

u/Sevennix 2h ago

Id find out the bags dealing fentanyl and heroin. Easy list. 10? Shit.. if that's makes us friends , then we're about to become soul mates

1

u/BumblebeeBorn 2h ago

Oh goodness that's an easy pick.

Soon, some very, very rich but very awful people will finally learn either humility or fear.

1

u/Gunfighter9 2h ago

Best challenge is the first lady.

1

u/nemainev 2h ago

So my job would be to manage a bona fide viligante service? Neat

1

u/Nice-Original-4429 2h ago

Easy. Yeah that one asshole teacher that failed me in middle school lol. Jk kinda. But all pedos and drug lords your days are numbered

1

u/tirion1987 2h ago

Y'all be like Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, The Hound...

1

u/Gc1981 2h ago

I'll take the job and work my way through the sex offender register.

1

u/S-KorkorDial 1h ago

I’ll take it, certainly.

0

u/Kajira4ever 2h ago

I'd have no problem with it but I'd probably ask can I accompany him, lol