My husband & I decided to order custom T-shirts for our son’s first birthday. My MIL has incredible FOMO & always gets upset if we don’t include her. I offered to order shirts for her and my SIL … she then asks what about the great grandparents? This created a lot of frustration because really … where does it stop? Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins? Everyone wants to be included but I’m not ordering 15+ shirts and coordinating payment for people that likely won’t pay me back. My husband and I talk it out - he tells her that we have decided for us and our son to have matching shirts because we don’t want to make anyone feel left out … but other family members can wear a themed shirt of their liking. I honestly think we were super polite about it. My MIL then asks for the link for the shirt we purchased so she can order her own. Wow. Just WOW.

Hey yall! I’m new to the sub, but gotta vent about my MIL.

This is something she did a while ago, but just shows how she is.

I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and we had just announced the pregnancy to my husband’s parents. Everyone was super excited we are all sitting in the living room chatting it up, just a good time. This woman looks me dead in my face before turning to my husband and says “I know everyone always asks about the woman, but how are you doing during this?” Let me remind yall again that I was only 8 weeks at that point (no huge issues or anything, just lack of appetite and cramping), barely pregnant. WTF could he have possibly be going through at that point in MY pregnancy?!

My husband answered beautifully by saying, “well, Alex and our baby are doing good, so I’m doing good.” He even thought it was rude for her to ask something like that during our announcement. He feels that’s something she should’ve asked him when they were alone.

This is not the first time she’s done stuff like this. Absolutely any time she feels that there’s too much attention on me she will turn the attention to literally anyone else. Another example of this is we were all on the boat in the lake. Everyone got to drive the boat. During my turn to drive my FIL and my husband said to me “you’re really good at driving the boat” and she makes it a point to say “well, everyone did good at driving the boat.” Like what was even the point of that?

Mind you, this lady has two sons, but my husband is her oldest and her favorite. She has no issue with her youngest son’s gf. She just doesn’t like attention on me.

I don’t need advice or anything because my husband has handled it. He has let her know if she can’t respect me then she won’t have access to her grandchild. She hasn’t been much of an issue since he had that conversation with her.

She hasn't given up, she's just trying new ways.

"You don't think you need to be supplementing?" - her

"No....?" - me

"shrugs I dunno. Seems like she's just always crying and unhappy because she's hungry." - her

"Nope..it's been going really well actually. She's gaining weight and everything. This is what I want to be doing." - me

"Well you can't just spend all day feeding her. You're going to HAVE to do other things. There are other motherly duties than feeding her. I mean I had a job, 3 other kids and I was cleaning and breastfeeding -her

".....okay?" - me

"You have to let other people feed her. Pretty soon she's going to only want to nurse at night and not be on you all day. You'll have to do bottles then."

.......I stopped entertaining her until she finally left. She isn't giving up and swears my baby cries bc she's starving all the time. She texted me and said "nobody wants a crying baby" and that I need to supplement bc she's probably starving.

We unfortunately live with this woman temporarily. I cannot be here much longer.

I have worked full time as a bedside nurse for almost a year now. Around 7 months into my career, I took a shift opportunity that allowed my husband to stay home with our daughter full time since we determined that childcare was too expensive for us, and we did not have reliable childcare (ie, my in laws and my mother.)

I have been working weekends, Friday-Sunday 7:00a-7:30p for a while. I recently just went PRN (as needed) at the hospital as I am in school full time again, and my husband got another full time job working evening hours. Apparently on the Sundays I’d be at work, my in-laws would tell him to come over for lunch with our daughter. Not ask, as I’ve noticed, but tell. Fast forward to this week, yesterday was my last full time shift, and I start my new schedule of 1 shift a week this upcoming Monday, so I’m off today and we’re getting to spend a rare weekend day together (he also started his new job last week, so we haven’t spent a full day together this week.) His father texted him telling him that they were going to pick up lunch and for him to be ready to come over so they could eat while it was still warm. He called his mother, his dad answered her phone and told him this again, and when he said “actually ____ is off today, so we’re going to spend the day together” he responded with a very curt thanks for letting us know and hung up on him.

It seems like every time I’m off for a weekend day and we want to spend it together, my in-laws get angry about it and get an attitude, almost like “well we’re off on the weekends and expect to see our grandchild every single one” (which has been the case since I’ve been working, he’s apparently gone over every single time without any argument. I don’t even know, it’s just frustrating because it’s like they’re telling him to come over with our child versus asking if he can/wants to, but then when I enter the equation and want to have a day with just my husband and child, then they get pissed. Just like last Sunday was JNMIL birthday, which I was working, but it was totally fine that they went over to celebrate! I’m glad they could. But dinner wasn’t even ready when I got off at almost 8:00pm, and she hadn’t even had dinner, a bath, and then we put her down for bed at 9:00pm, and I still had homework to do. So they got mad because I dropped by to wish her a happy birthday and pick up our child to take her home and get her situated and settled for the night.

I don’t know. I’m just frustrated and wanted to vent.

Why do they always do this? She asked and I said no and she just swooped in and took her. No one else would do this. I just don’t get why she thinks it’s ok.

She doesn’t grab the baby from my husband. Only me.

Okay so this will be a long one. Ive posted before about my MIL when she took my daughter from a previous marriage and put her in a car after I explicitly asked her not to. Daughter(around 10 at the time) had been in a car accident with her dad and he broke both arms and one leg while she fractured her collar bone. Work was okay letting me take the week off work to stay with her but MIL offered to babysit. I have always been hesitant about people watching her because I have trust issues. But bf at the time (now husband) assured me it would be okay. First day was fine! I felt relieved and like I maybe finally had a village in my corner. The second day? Not so much. Apparently bfs aunt had an appt to go to after having surgery and MIL had to take her. She didn't mention this to me. She didn't ask me. Instead asked MY CHILD after I had again reiterated that sure I might be overreacting but I didn't want her in a car. Put her in a car with a pillow and took her to walmart. I was LIVID.

FF to now. Daughter is 14 and I am about 29 weeks pregnant. Idk what I was thinking getting pregnant but I thought it'd be a good idea for some reason. We had mostly found an okay normal where husband went over once a week to pick up food or whatever while they (his mom and aunt) would randomly bring stuff by without asking. Only informing. Which was pushing my boundary but I let it go because it 'wasn't that bad'. Husband let his mom and aunt know via text about our boundaries concerning baby. 1. No one but husband at the hospital. I have to have a csection and I had trouble breastfeeding my daughter so I wanted ample time intrusion free. 2. Everyone who wants to meet baby needs to have their vaccinations before meeting baby, or will have to wait until baby has has her vaccinations. 3. No kissing baby. Not on the feet, not on the head. No kissing. Period.

Well to say they didn't like these boundaries is an understatement. The mom fully ignored the message and the aunt only asked about his car (which is in the shop right now.)

I am a frequent flyer here at JustNoMIL and said you should ask for a response. So he said 'did you get my message?' Aunt only said I got it and he hasn't pushed farther. Mother said 'oh the one that read like an email? Yeah I got it.' He said 'okay can you respond?' She said 'oh well there wasn't a question.' Like... what. He said ' we need to know you understand our boundaries concerning our child.' She said ' did you send her family the same thing?' To be clear, I am no contact with my family. They dont even know I'm pregnant. But he said yes anyway. Just to prevent arguing i guess.

Then this woman has the fucking gall to send us a list of her expectations regarding our child. 1. She wanted to see baby in the nursery. We dont even have to know she is there. (I'm sorry but no. I will have a csection which means they will take baby and daddy upstairs while they sew me up then I sit in recovery all before seeing my child. I am not okay with you seeing my child before I do.) 2. Something about advice about how the doctors are going to tell me i shouldn't be trying to breastfeed after having a csection because of the meds. Uhm my first was a csection and they strongly encouraged it. Did you even have a csection??? 35 years ago??? She told me to 'ask my doctors'. What. 3. She NEVER kisses infants but has been known to kiss feet. THAT IS STILL NOT OKAY. INFANTS PUT THEIR FEET IN THEIR MOUTHS. 4. She said 'We are fully up to date on our vaccinations. Are you?' Which first of all I highly doubt because people dont typically get Tdap unless they get bit by a dog, step on a nail, or are meeting a baby. And then her framing? Like we would demand she do something we haven't done? Just really goes to show the kind of people she thinks we are. 5. She wanted a routine visitation scheduled with baby. Uhm no. You dont get the right to see our child routinely just because you're a grandmother.

Not to mention the fact that husband brought up the incident from a couple years ago and she scoffed and said 'well I asked daughter and she said it was okay'

Anyway after the initial outbursts she told husband that she would talk to the hospital and we wouldn't know she was there anyway. And kept telling him that God would judge him. (Do i need to mention they are trumpers and we are not?) And that she was NOT giving us her medical records (we just wanted vaccination proof...)

I told him the best way to respond was to go over our boundaries again and he did which just got more backlash.

Now she is saying she won't be at the hospital, that she won't kiss baby, and that she is fully vaccinated.

I told him what I wanted him to respond with 'we appreciate you not coming to the hospital but there will be precautions set in place. We appreciate you not kissing baby, even on the feet, like we asked. We appreciate you being fully vaccinated but still require proof to be sure we are keeping little one safe.'

He says 'cant we wait until tomorrow to address this?' I said I dont trust it and I think it's a ploy. I let him know how anxious this makes me and that I'd like to have some confirmation that he is taking my side seriously. He pushes to wait.

I should mention that in the previous occurrence he yelled at me in front of her that maybe they know what they're doing and I should have trusted them because they are older. For WEEKS he kept on about how I needed to apologize TOO.

I'm worried that history is just going to repeat itself. And that he is going to take their side because they 'help out' sometimes and its his mom and his aunt and he has to respect them.

Idk I'm just fed up and fucking tired. Maybe I'm being too much. Maybe I should trust the words of someone who blatantly lied to my face about the care of my child because she claims(now) she won't go against our boundaries.

I just want husband to be on my side and I feel like he is giving them passes because they say the magic words.

Hello everyone! I’ve posted on here before and everyone was so understanding and kind about this but quick warning ⚠️ English is my third language.

So straight to the point I guess, my mother in law and I have had minor issues like for example she is obsessed with my husband and she wants to do everything with him that him and I do like romantic dates even and matching jewelry pieces…. Anyways, my husband doesn’t live with his mom but we go over there frequently because she wants him so visit her. He goes without me lots but we are married so why wouldn’t I go here and there. Usually when we go over to her house she makes HIM SPECIFICALLY brownies or cake, cookies, she emphasizes it’s for him and makes small portions so only he can eat it (he always ends up sharing with me, bless him). He says when he goes over there alone she never makes him stuff and it’s only when I’m with him she bakes him all of these goods or has a present prepared for him. Recently we were there and him I were spending time with their sweet cat and his mom tells him, “I made dinner for the three of us, there isn’t any for -‘my name’ though” she said. She only made food her his dad, her and my husband. This isn’t the first time she has done this and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and unwelcome. In my culture we feed ANYONE who visits our homes even if it is just the neighbor stopping by asking for directions. Is this American culture or is this just because she obviously hates me???? All of my American friends are super generous so I don’t think this is how all Americans are. I have been nothing but nice to her, I think she is just Inlove with her son and wants to be in a relationship with him not me be with him.

Please please, tell me what to do! I’ve already posted here multiple of times about my overbearing MIL and I really don’t know what to do other than us keep putting boundaries and saying NO.

We haven’t seen her for 2 months now due to her crossing our boundaries so much and she still doesn’t acknowledge me as my DH’s partner and won’t respect that I live with my DH.

Today, she texted my DH saying that she’ll come visit “him” one day in “our” house along with her sister and mum. No question, no permission. She’s simply just “letting him know”. I’m so sick of her bs, please advise me on this. I’ve gotten many advices and I’ve done them but I still got so much of this anxiety and stress left behind.

Now, this is worse than taking her biggest flying monkey which is his older sister. I don’t even know if she’ll be coming because MIL always brings everyone with her so she can guilt trip us in-front of everyone. We haven’t really confronted her full on and would like to ask how we could do this. I still got a soft spot over this, I admit. But I am now sick of it. Like absolutely. She’s blocked, ignored, everything.

Bringing the “adults” will end up being a family lecture of DH. They will for sure lecture him that “family’s everything” blah blah. As usual.

DH is willing to tell her off but doesn’t know how to and what to, as he was conditioned to be quiet his whole childhood. I’m not sure as well as I don’t think it’s best for me to advise him. I’m not even sure what to do anymore. All I do is rant here.

MIL came over and when my baby fussed because she couldn’t figure out her toy, MIL went, did mommy pinch you? I rolled my eyes and replied, why would I pinch her?!

This one is pretty lame but my husband’s friend was talking about how people here don’t speak their minds directly, and I immediately chimed in and said, “Yes, I used to think people here were very warm and friendly and nice, but whether or not they really are, I don’t know now.” MIL was part of that conversation.

tiny fist pump

I don’t know how some of you deal with these kinds of MIL’s for years or even decades. It has been 3 months of this and I’m ready to drop the rope. I don’t know if I don’t have the perseverance or I’m too selfish to continue giving her chances and let this play out longer in hopes that she changes but I believe that the best thing for my baby is a happy and stress free mother, not a relationship with one of her grandmothers.

Before I get into this I want to say that I know I have an SO problem as well. We have just started couples therapy and I believe today’s visit from MIL has helped to open his eyes to everything I have been saying.

It has been 5 weeks since my last post and 5 weeks since my last visit with MIL. The only reason I have been able to have a 5 week break is because of how she treated me last visit, and DH agreeing space would be best from her in the hopes that she can calm down and come to her senses. Since the last visit all communication has been through DH. She has been wanting to have a sit down with me in these last weeks but I have declined, telling DH that I believe the only reason she wants to sit down with me is to control the emotional tone of the conversation and try to manipulate the situation into me giving into her wishes. I said if she was apologetic for how she has been, she can simply send me a text apologising. Surprise, that text never came.

So finally today we had the visit with MIL and it went the absolute worst way possible (but the way I completely expected it to go). She did a speedrun of every emotional manipulation tactic I’ve heard in these horror monster in law stories on this sub when a grandchild is born.

But not before she came in snatched my baby from me and kissed her AGAIN. (I know, I should have ended the visit right then and there).

I asked my partner before the visit what we can expect from her this time because every time he says she’s going to be fine, she understands the boundaries now and she’s fine with them. But then she always shows the exact opposite. Today before she arrived he said the same thing “we can expect a happy normal visit, I’d be really really surprised if anything happened after all the conversations I’ve had with her after last time”. But she did all of the worst things possible.

So she has come in, grabbed the baby from me, kissed her, then got upset when she had to hand the baby back because baby was screaming (I had some slight gratification that MIL is the only person she has been fussy with holding her, babies know crazy!)

I have my baby on my lap now and she turns to me and starts with “I want to see the baby more” I said we’re really busy being new parents, letting everyone meet her and just juggling this new life, currently this is what I’m comfortable with visit wise. That started the landslide of “I should be able to kiss my grand baby, my coworker is allowed to kiss her grandchild, you and my son were kissed as babies and you turned out fine, nothing is going to happen” I told her I understand she’s upset by this boundary however the boundary is staying in place and I just need her to accept it and abide by it and not be disrespectful about it. My partner tried to step in as she started up and told her no and to stop, but with a simple flick of her wrist and him being told to go away, off he and FIL went to the kitchen leaving me to fend for myself. “You’re putting a wall up keeping me out of my granddaughters life”, again I explained no MIL we had to take a step back because you weren’t respecting boundaries.

She continued on started crying and saying I wouldn’t understand because I’m not a grandmother. I stayed as emotionless as possible throughout the whole ordeal and just kept reiterating that I understand she’s having big feelings however I am not responsible for those feelings and she still needs to respect our boundaries despite what she is feeling or I will not be comfortable with her around the baby at all moving forward. Half an hour of back and forth with MIL about this, and I was refusing to rebuttal her very wrong points, I just kept reiterating that the boundary is not moving for her.

At this point my partner and his father walk back over (mind you they are watching us the entire time and listening). DH told her that she’s the only person who’s been disrespectful about the one rule in place, she said it’s “because she’s grandma”. I reminded her my daughter also has another grandma, my mum, who has not had this reaction. She insinuated no one else has had this reaction because no one else loves my daughter as much as she does. I said MIL this is my baby. She said “no this is my babies baby”. The whole time she was only referring to my daughter as her grandchild, as if I’ve had a baby just for her.

At one point she even said “please don’t take this out on my son once I leave because I’ve brought this up, OH I’m so sorry I’m so sorry DH!” As if I’m going to beat him when she leaves or something?

She was crying the whole time and tried everything she could to get me to give in. At the end she said through tears “okay fine, I’m sorry if you’re hurt and IF I did anything to cause that” typical manipulative non-apology. I took my baby and went to my room and told her she’s having big feelings and she needs to leave and deal with them herself.

While I was in the room my partner was getting up her, I could hear them yelling but in their own language so I didn’t understand what was being said.

I have so much anxiety leading up to visits with her, I have so much anxiety after each visit, I have lost sleep ruminating on it, when I’m already not getting enough sleep dealing with a newborn. I believe it’s in the best interest of myself and my child that I go no contact with her and do not allow her to have a relationship with my baby unless she can one day show true genuine change. I’m of the opinion that if I continuing trying, she is always going to try and push boundaries and try to get her way because her relationship with my daughter is never going to look like what she had delusionally imagined it to be like when I was pregnant.

Am I wrong for dropping the rope so early on?

My MIL is a very difficult person. My husband has a very tense relationship with her and ever since I became pregnant and had my baby (our first was born earlier this month) she’s been insufferable. She seems to be checking off every shitty MIL thing you can do to your daughter in law during pregnancy and post partum. Making my pregnancy about her, treating me like an incubator, making passive aggressive comments, repeatedly asking to be in the delivery room, making a nursery in her home without telling me and telling her friends that’s my daughter’s nursery that she decorated for us, the classic calling my daughter our baby or her baby, asking me to watch her when she was a week old and constantly trying to be alone with her, thinking if she buys us a bunch of gifts that excuses her behavior, walking in on me breastfeeding because she thought I was hiding in the bedroom with the baby, suggesting I quit breastfeeding and use formula and so on.

Last weekend my husband went to see his parents and she was sobbing the second my husband walked inside. She was upset because a neighbor congratulated him on the baby and not her as a first time grandma. My husband said she was hysterical all day and he told her she needs to get her shit together. His aunt also lives with his parents and my husband said some comments about not having time for drama and theatrics from her, his aunt and their other aunt. Apparently his aunt overheard that and was extremely offended.

Cut to this weekend and they came to visit us and the baby. We had about as pleasant a visit as we can have with them and my MIL decided to start yelling at my husband saying he doesn’t respect her and then brought up the aunt being upset about the comments he made last weekend which she was eavesdropping on their conversation, he didn’t know she was even home. My husband quickly shut them down and told them to cut it out and the only thing he cares about is our baby and me. His aunt left very dramatically saying she needed to leave before she got herself in trouble and his mom followed up saying she would take it outside (!?) with my husband. He told her to GTFO. Before she left, she hinted my husband must be on something (he had a substance issue years ago that she loves to bring up) and tried to pull me into the fight and asked if my husband was okay. It was an unnecessarily stressful visit and we have an almost one month old to worry about, not shitty in laws making life extremely difficult.

A few hours later my parents called me saying they needed to talk to me. My MIL texted my parents and opened with if I’m gonna be called a bitch, I’ll be one. Then proceeded to say how much she loves her son, me and our baby but that my parents and I need to back off pressuring my husband about moving because it’s so hard for him and her too. She also brought up selling her house and giving us the money and insinuating she might divorce her husband. My parents live 14 hours away from us in another state. We have talked about moving there because it’s way more affordable and my parents are not insane people. None of us have ever pressured anyone. My husband sends me houses constantly in that area and we almost bought a house there last year but I found out I was pregnant and wanted to stay here so I could stick with my OBgyn. I am a 34 year old woman and this 68 year old woman is pulling my parents into her fucking drama. This is a line for me that I can’t forgive her for, my husband was so embarrassed and apologetic to my parents whom he loves and cares about. I want to permanently cut her off, she is mentally unstable. My husband feels the same way but I worry he will cave eventually and try to see them again. He did say to me yesterday that we need to move away because this is never going to get better.

Looking to see how others handled going full NC with a lunatic MIL!

My husband and I went on our honeymoon earlier this year and our mother in law stayed at our house to watch our dogs while we were gone. For context she lives out of state so it was very kind of her to do this. I’ve also had no prior “ issues” with her but she always has been a little much, overbearing and controlling.

We had just bought this home maybe two weeks before we left. While we were gone (1.5weeks) she reorganized and rearranged our house. We had just moved in so everything was put away, just not perfectly. She took everything out of kitchen cabinets and put them in new cabinets, hung things on walls, rearranged the guest room furniture, filled our pantry with random food. Bought new blankets and household items. Even bought decor items and placed them around.

I had placed all my things where I wanted them including kitchen items and decor and was happy with it and excited to come home and finish our home together. It was a special time to just get married, honeymoon and then come back to our home. I had to ASK her where the pots and pans and cups were. I felt so awkward and felt like that special time was ruined.

My husband was so great and totally had my back. Told her she can’t be doing that and I think she felt bad but her doing this honestly didn’t surprise me and now I’m worried for our future.

After years of nasty behaviour from my MIL/FIL my husband has finally stood up to his parents, and I’m curious if anyone here has ever had this approach actually work.

From the very start of our engagement, my in-laws have treated me badly. They’ve been cold, dismissive, and often outright insulting. The final straw was my MIL saying our wedding day was the worst day of her life, insulting my parents (who are supportive of me and DH), and taking back the only gift they have ever given me (a necklace).

This happened a year ago and I’ve been NC since but DH has continued to see them, but less than before.

My husband has now told them, that I am his priority and he will no longer have a relationship with them that excludes me. If they want a relationship with him, it starts with repairing things with me: an unequivocal apology (for the wedding comments, the insults to my parents, and years of hurt) and returning the necklace. Until they take these steps, there will be no contact.

So my question is: has anyone ever actually gotten their in-laws to apologise and change with this kind of firm boundary?

His MIL is really awful but I don’t doubt for a second how much she loves him and how devastated she would be to lose him.

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here and I just need advice. I am secondguessing myself here.

So I married my husband in March of this year, but we've been together since 2019. Over the years my relationship with my MIL has changed some, but it started out with her really not liking me. At first, I was pretty sure she didn't like me, but my then boyfriend kept insisting that she really did like me. Eventually, after enough pushing he finally admitted that she didn't like me because I "made her feel dumb" (for context myself, my husband, and my FIL are all in STEM fields, but my MIL has a degree in English literature, I believe).

However, I've always just felt like my MIL didn't like me because I'm from a different area than they are and didn't grow up around the family and friend group. My BILs fiance and all my Husband and BILs mutual friends are all from the same area and my MIL is friends with all of these people's parents. I've been told by my therapist that there is some enmeshment related gatekeeping going on.

There's literal YEARS of crap that I could unpack about my interactions with this woman, but that would take so long and I don't think anyone wants to really read that. The TLDR about that is that she has never liked me, but now she claims that she does and my husband believes her -- I do not.

My husband defends almost everything she does unless it's so egregious that there's no possible way to explain her actions, when that happens it's "lol mom is just a little cooky".

It really came to a head when a couple weeks ago we were at my in-laws house for the weekend and the "family christmas vacation" which I have never heard of, gets brought up casually. And I'm understandably like "um..what trip to Colorado?" EVERYONE knows about it except me, and my MIL is like "haha this is awkward, I assumed you knew". Long story short, she and my FIL made the decision on where the family was going for Christmas this year and just assumed that both adult sons and their respective spouse/soon to be spouse were entirely on board. But no one ever said anything to me about it and I made that really clear.

Flash forward to the next day and they're all talking about it and picking Airbnbs despite the fact that my husband and I haven't even talked about it, nor has he asked me if I even want to spend the holidays with his family. In the past (before we were married) his mom basically said that him spending xmas with her was non negotiable. Flash forward to this morning, my MIL texts our group chat that she booked a Vrbo for specific dates...zero discussion, zero questioning if any of us can take off of work or school for these dates, just "these are the dates I booked the vrbo for".

I text back and politely ask if the price is based on how many people are staying there, because no one ever mentioned these dates to me and so I don't even know if I can get off for those dates anyways. The response she sends me is essentially that this is what she and her husband decided on and everyone else can come and go as they please for what works for the time off they have.

For additional context, my in laws (my MIL, FIL, BIL, BILs fiancee and my SIL) are all in town for labor day weekend and we're about to come over to our house for breakfast. I pull my husband aside and tell him straight up that:

1) I barely just found out about this family vacation, which was completely chosen without any input from me whatsoever. No one, including my husband, asked me if I even wanted to go to Colorado for Xmas and spend it with his family skiing (I don't even like to skii so it would just be me, alone, in the lodge the entire time -- they all know this) 2) I don't know if I can even take off for that long, it's a week long vacation and my place of employment works year round and doesn't close for the holidays. Not to mention we JUST went on a family vacation with his family in July. 3) He just assumed I'd be okay with spending xmas exclusively with his family, he didn't communicate with me at all about it or ask what I wanted to do for Xmas and told his mom yes.

He said he understood and that he wouldn't go if that's what I wanted, but just based on his demeanor I knew it would be a huge thing and he would be mad at me for it.

In addition to all that, they're here for labor day and to my knowledge there was no plans for the day until my MIL mentioned something and I said "wait, I didn't know there was a plan for tomorrow" and she proceeds to tell me that the family took a vote and were going to do x,y,z things tomorrow (now today). I flat out said "I wasn't a part of that vote. No one asked me what I wanted to do." And she just looked at me like I had grown 2 heads. But my BILs fiancee was included in this vote.

This morning while my husband was cooking breakfast (his family was still on the way), I tried telling him about what I was feeling and asking him if we could sit down and have a talk about this. I feel left out of everything, I feel like no one is considering me at all. He says he understands my feelings but that now isn't the time. I responded that I've asked to have this conversation multiple times over the years and it's never "the time" regardless of when I ask. He says that's fair. I keep trying to tell him my feelings and then he blows up at me saying he can't deal with this right now because he's trying to cook breakfast for his family.

I go to another room. He comes to ask if I want to eat breakfast with them and I said not really, no. He says okay and leaves. Then he comes back later and asks me if I'm coming to the stuff with them, and I say "no my feelings are hurt and I don't really want to be around them" and he just says okay and leaves. Now, I'm home writing this while they're doing all the things they voted on as a family that I was not included in the decision of.

This is just one example of something that happens all the time. I tell him that his mom has done something that makes me feel left out, excluded or not considered and he either defends her or doesn't say anything. I feel like he should choose me and defending me over just keeping his mom happy.

I'm really emotional right now, so I acknowledge if I might have left out key details or wrote something to be unclear. If you have questions please ask, but I need advice. I've been considering leaving if nothing changes, because I just can't see myself being happy this way for the rest of my life. It's not just trips, it's everything. I feel like I'm being held at arms length from what is supposed to be my family and my husband is choosing his mom over me every single time. Please help.

If your child loses a tooth at their grandparents’ house, and you ask both the child and grandparents to save the tooth and wait to do the tooth fairy routine at home, how out of line is it for the grandparents to ignore that and put money under the pillow anyway?

They didn’t put the tooth under my daughter’s pillow but left $5 under the pillow from the tooth fairy.
I’m super pissed because this is the millionth time they have overstepped after being told not to. It’s almost compulsive imo.

My spouse ALWAYS jumps into “defend my parent’s behavior” mode. Somehow I’d be making a problem of if I tell them they fucking suck.

Edit: Sorry for how long this is!

Long time lurker, first time poster. Obligatory forgive me for the formatting as I am on mobile.

So some background on FMIL first. She was married multiple times to abusive men that treated FH like trash when he was a kid and teenager. He has a younger brother that is the golden child and FH always got the short end of the stick. She has spread lies about me and FH to everyone that will listen to her. There's a lot more to it, but that gives you guys some basic info.

So this story starts in February of this year. My FH had an old Chevy Impala that used to be a police vehicle. It had quite a few issues and he had already been considering getting a very cheap used car in the near future. FMIL (She will be referred to as Susan for the rest of this story) asks him to meet her at the Ford dealership nearby one evening because she had to bring in her husband's truck to get worked on. While Susan is there, she gets roped in by the sales people into buying a used Honda. She had been saying for a good month or so that she wanted a larger vehicle to fit car seats for when she has her grandchildren for the weekend. Which by the way, only happens every few months. Her current vehicle at that time had plenty of space for car seats, but the cruise control didn't work.

Come to find out, Susan wasn't able to trade in her previous car because the loan was so upside-down. So, knowing that FH was looking for a better vehicle, she made the offer that he could drive it as long as he made the payments. We definitely talked about it a lot before he made the final decision since we knew that eventually she was going to do something to screw him over with this car. But hey, he needed something and we could afford it. We figured as a last resort by the time she pulls something stupid, I'll have enough money to put a down payment on a new car. (His credit is trash and he's currently in the process of rebuilding it.) The agreement was that he would send the money to her through cash app and she would make the payment. She had mentioned once that she would give FH the login to pay it himself but that never went anywhere.

Fast forward to yesterday. FH had been making the payments on time every month since he started driving the car. Unfortunately, the registration is still a year and a half out of date because Susan racked up hundreds of dollars in tolls when it was in her possession. We were told it was going to be taken care of but it's out of our control. We went over to a friend's house to help them work on their car. We had a fantastic day and as we were pulling into our apartment complex, FH realized his car wasn't there. We double checked and yup, it's gone. So our first thoughts are that it was either towed or stolen. I got on the phone and started calling tow companies and no one had it. So I finally called the local police department. That was when we found out it had been repossessed at 9:25 that morning.

So FH called Susan about 8 times before she answered because yknow, he's been making payments so wtf happened? Her response was "I'm in another state right now. I'll figure out what's going on." She didn't sound concerned or surprised at all. So FH reached out to FFIL since his name was on the car as well and clearly Susan wasn't going to help us. At first he told FH "Yeah thanks for that" and FH just laid it out and showed the screenshot of every payment he made on time each month. That was when FFIL said he got a call on Thursday that the car was $1600 behind in payments and Susan told him that FH just wasn't sending her the payments. So yeah, she pocketed $1600 from FH, the car is currently repossessed (thank goodness we have mine), and she will possibly be working on her 4th divorce.

So how's your Labor day weekend going?

TLDR: FMIL stole $1600 worth of car payments from FH and let the car get repossessed.

Hi all! New user here! This is going to be a long post AND I am posting from my phone, so please bear with me. As the title states I am pregnant, 22 weeks along. I've been having issues with my MIL since prior to my pregnancy. I want to also preface that DH has been as helpful as possible considering he does not like confrontation AT ALL.

The breakdown started happening a couple years ago. My MIL is notorious for buying Xmas gifts just for the sake of giving something. A lot of the tile these gifts I receive are things that are just not to my liking. I typically will ask for gift cards as I don't need/want for much and am the type to buy what I need/want when I need/want it. Xmas of 2023 MIL bought me clothes that were 2 sizes too big. She never asked me or DH what size I was in not to mention they were not my style at all...After that incident I had requested in the family group chat (MIL, SIL#1, SIL#1, Aunt, and cousin) to please not get me any clothes going forward. Then there was an incident that happened at a family event in May 2024. I was admittedly hungover and felt like absolute garbage but still went to the family event, MIL literally said " you look like shit" which pissed me off. I started asking for Xmas gift ideas for people in September 2024 and made it known no clothes, just gift cards. MIL and SIL#2 did not provide lists of what they wanted until literally Thanksgiving day after dinner was done despite multiple requests for gift ideas, everyone else had provided their lists. Annoying much? Xmas rolls around and I did get a $50 gift card but I also got clothes and some other random stuff that I did not ask for. I was visibly upset after we got home and I asked DH to please speak to MIL, which he did. MIL initially apologized and said she thought I'd like the gifts. A week later, NYE, she sends him a message saying she took it back and didn't feel sorry and that it was on me for being unhappy with the gifts she gave me. I was done after that. I deleted her off FB and removed her from my phone contacts. I was driving myself crazy wondering what I had done to this woman to warrant this kind of treatment. I ended up getting into therapy for a couple months and started to feel better but my therapist did not want to continue doing virtual appointments through the app I was using so I ended up stopping sessions.

January 2025 I was admitted to my local hospital for an emergency appendectomy. The family was made aware as we may need help taking care of our dogs while I was admitted. Not once did MIL reach out to me. Not while I was admitted nor after I was discharged home. February 2025, a couple weeks after my surgery I ended up attempting to sit down and try to hash out my concerns/issues with MIL but it turned into a 2 hour bitch session all about her. Anytime I would try to steer the conversation to what I wanted to discuss she would take the reins right back and start talking about herself again. I ended up putting a stop to the discussion as I started to feel unwell from how annoyed/stressed I was getting trying to resolve an issue that MIL seemed to be oblivious to.

Fast forward to April 2025, DH and I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to hold off on telling people until I was a little further along. The only people I made aware from the beginning were my mom, sisters, best friend, and work ( I work in a radiology department and it's important to declare pregnant asap to prevent any exposure at all costs). DH ended up telling MIL on Mothers Day I was pregnant, despite me wanting to wait a little longer. His reasoning was because my mom knew already, okay, fine. Still no contact from MIL. MIL ends up sending a text to DH asking when my bday is, he did not inform me of this. However, DH and I have been together for 13 years( 6 dating, 7 married) how do you not know my bday at this point...? Come to find out she was asking so she could send me flowers for my bday. It was a nice gesture but the flowers literally reminded me of a funeral arrangement I have bought for a friend after their grandmother died.

We had our gender reveal in July, it's a boy! MIL thought it was appropriate to corner me in a gazebo, just the two of us, when I was trying to eat after running around for a couple hours making sure everyone else had drinks and had eaten. She cornered me not to say congratulations. Not to ask me how I was feeling. She cornered me to tell that she KNEW it was a boy because her side or the family always has first born sons...that's not how gender determination works...

I started sending out baby shower invites at the end of July after my mom had secured a venue and date for the shower. MIL sent a message on the website we're using to keep track of RSVP's and post annoucements that if I needed help to let her know. I responded and said if she wanted to help to contact one of the hosts. My mom, both of my sisters, and my best friend are hosting the shower. All of their numbers are listed on the event page. She responded the following day and said "okay". I waited 3 weeks for her to reach out and nothing, DH ended up messaging her asking if she was going to help or not. She read his message but didn't respond. She called my mother 5 days later and was talking to my mom about herself, kinda like what happened when I attempted to sit down with her. My mom put a stop to it and said they had most everything figured out but she was going to need help with buying some of the food. MIL's only response was again "let me know if you need help". WTF?!?

Recently I made a public post on FB asking for recommendation on cake for my shower, I'd like to try said cake and frosting prior to deciding, and that I wanted someone local. I didn't want myself or the hosts to be traveling more than 15 minutes to pick up the cake . MIL somehow saw the post and sent DH a text 1) accusing me of blocking her on FB and 2) recommended some cousin DH has never heard of/met who lives over an hour away. MIL sent a pic of a cake this cousin had made and I was not impressed at all. I told DH to tell her thanks but no thanks. She proceeded to send a text to DH a couple days later saying " if your wife has an issue with me we need to rectify this in person now". DH did tell her I tried to but she did not give me the opportunity to and she would steer the conversation anytime I tried. Her response was I should have tried harder and we should have said something sooner. We have not set up anything to sit down and talk with her.

I am at a loss of what to do. I truthfully do not want anything to do with this woman. I do not want to have this "conversation" because I feel like it'll have a similar outcome to my last attempt. Not to mention I have been very hormonal and can send myself into a panic and/or a rage fit at the drop of a hat.

So reddit, what do I do? :(

My MIL has been living in our backyard for 4 months now. This is not a temporary thing. It’s permanent. You can read my past posts. My husband built her her own apartment on the back of our shop because she does not have money and was getting driven out of her place. She has no one else to help her. She has been helping watch my kids for the past ten years and for that, grateful but I can see my resentment to my husband is making me hate him more each day. I actually want to leave him.

My MIL is a great grandma to my kids but she’s becoming jealous and making comments (only to me) when we go out and do stuff with my family and don’t visit her everyday. My kids run over there daily and wish to stay there for a long time and it’s making me sad because that could be our family time. I text her to send them back and she usually does but I know she’s getting mad because she wants my kids all day and night.

She is always home and my kids invite her outside into our backyard atleast 50% of the time we’re out there playing. She always says yes and is always home. My husband thinks it’s the bees knees that we have her at our beckon call 24/7 and I think it’s amazing we have her too but I don’t want her living here at the cost of our family time and marriage.

I have been very rude and stand offish to my husband since she moved in and I can’t bring myself to stop because I have so much resentment of having her here forever. I am kinda venting and don’t really know what to do. I can’t tell my husband I don’t want her here. He blows up and makes a huge fight and says he’ll sell the house and figure something out but I know he won’t. He will choose his mother over me. This I am sure of. 😭 I am Just so unhappy. Everyone tells me to be thankful I have her here to help and I’m so lucky but at what cost? I have no privacy and she knows everything we’re doing at every hour. I feel so suffocated.

My MIL is the quintessential boy mom. She has no life or hobbies outside of her two boys. My DH is older and is very clearly the favorite. It’s kind of odd because he’s had his fair share of issues (he’s a recovering alcoholic), but in her and my FIL’s minds he can do no wrong. They ditched my BIL on this 21st birthday to go see my DH in rehab. They have never held him accountable for anything in his whole life. Even as far back as elementary school, when he had behavioral issues they would blame his teachers for picking on him. All of them. For no reason. I sometimes wonder if that’s why it took him so long to clean up his act. He did some really crappy things to me during his addiction and they never said a word about it to him. I guess I just feel like good parents don’t just ignore when their kids are doing wrong? I could be off base on that…

My issues started at the beginning of our relationship (we were living together) he got sick and she insisted her go to the hospital an hour away from us where she’s a social worker. I think she wanted to be able to access his chart. Our region has some of the best hospitals in the world. Her hospital was not part of that network and he ended up staying for a week because they didn’t have the resources in house to test and diagnose him. It was miserable. This was also during Covid and so it was one support person in the ER and she was already in there because she works there. He’s not close with her. She’s a source of stress and anxiety for him because all she does is cry. I’ve begun to think it’s a manipulation tactic. So she’s not the person he wanted with him as a support person. She doesn’t care. She also knows that this hospital is subpar-she wouldn’t get her hernia repair done there because she doesn’t trust them but she’ll insist he goes there so she can be in charge. This led to me having to force him to be honest with the doctors because he didn’t want to share certain things with them since they would end up in his chart and she would be able to see it. So she basically cared more about control than his health.

Her and my FIL make not actual effort to know him. They’re very surface level. They don’t ask him how he feels about things or how his sobriety is going but they feel like they always need to know what’s going on.

They’re never been outright mean to me, but I know I’m not who they would have chosen for their son. His mom literally sobbed when we got engaged and to this day I don’t think it was tears of joy. They ignored any mention I made of weddings plans so we decided to elope because they seemed so disinterested. She was upset about that. They called us at 10:30 at night on our wedding night-we eloped but to them when we were doing it so it wasn’t like a traditional elopement.

His dad texts him basically every morning at 4:45 to tell him he loves him. DH will reply like once a week. Maybe that’s not weird, is it? I kinda think it is because DH doesn’t reply and FIL doesn’t text my BIL for like weeks, if not months at a time. My BIL is a great person and his wife is an angel, they’re both successful and independent. I sometimes wonder if my in laws are so attached to my husband he needed them longer.

We moved out of state for a couple years, had a baby in December and moved back. They are not super involved grandparents. My BIL and SIL have two kids who have never really been active with. My SIL had mastitis one time and got really sick and my BIL was out of town for work and she called my ILs for help and they didn’t. They live 10 minutes away. This the was only time in two years she had ever asked for help. Anyway, they like to act like grandparents of the year on Facebook but they don’t actually want to do anything with them. They just sit there in their living room and take pictures. My BIL and SIL didn’t get to buy their daughter her first bike for her birthday because my ILs bought her one without asking. They also announced my nephew’s birth on Facebook because BIL and SIL could (they hadn’t even announced their pregnancy yet).

They’re met our DD three times. Our one rule was don’t kiss her. The first time they met her at 2 months old they didn’t. The second time at 7 months old my FIL kissed her. I let it go because I figured he might have thought it was just a thing when she was really little and in RSV season so DH sent them a reminder text yesterday when we went over. This time my MIL kissed her and then said oops. DH thinks it was an accident, I don’t. Then she kissed her fingers and touched DD’s face with them when we were leaving. I’m really mad. I don’t think I’m asking for a whole lot. I’m trying not to overreact. Besides the normal reasons we don’t want people kissing her, I really don’t trust my ILs specifically. I think they’d kiss her when they’re sick. One time when my niece was like 8 months old my FIL was using chemo cream for a spot on his face and he rubbed his face all over hers. I just don’t trust them.

I know it’s kind of an SO problem but he really thinks it was an accident. He tries to avoid them really tries to avoid letting them hold her when we go there. It makes both our skin crawl when they do. We got in a big fight about it. Idk, I just need to vent because I’m so mad and I need to get it out.

Hi everyone! New here—and this is gonna be long! So my MIL we will call “April” and I have a plethora of issues. I have 2 kids from a prior relationship, and my SO and I have one kid- who is 8 months old. Throughout our 4 year relationship, April has never made any efforts to get to know or include “my” kids— despite my SO fully acknowledging them as his children as well. We are very much a family- despite last names. We never planned to have any other children and we accepted things as they were with April. We saw her maybe once a month, despite her living only 10 minutes from us. Then… I got pregnant. Things changed- we decided to ramp up efforts to get her involved with our older kids. She showed little to no interest. All of a sudden she informed us that she made a NURSERY in her house! My SO told her that we were not planning to have our baby overnight at anyone’s house for at least the first year, maybe more. She continued to fill the nursery anyway with newborn diapers, a changing table, a bassinet, etc. Moving on, my oldest asked me if our baby was going to be autistic (around her)- and she said “no! The baby is going to be perfectly healthy!” She said this in front of my “middle” child- who is on the spectrum. I was infuriated and I said I do not think being healthy and having autism are remotely related, to which she backtracked “that’s not what I meant.” Towards the end of my pregnancy, my SO brought all of these things up to her along with her lack of giving a shit about our older kids to which she responded that “you have to have a bond with someone in order to love them.” Following this, we had a baby shower and she wrote in our babies book about how much she loved them already. LOLLLLL like okay…. The final straw was when we had a family dinner and she had a sweatshirt on that said Nana EST 2024, and only our babies name on the sleeve, not the older kids. Additionally, since the baby has been born, there is a big push for her to get to our house at least once a week, and it puts me on edge. I just can’t get past these things. There has been more, but these stick out to me. Now that our baby is older, we have never visited her at her home so that nursery is sitting there unused, I am past the point of making effort. I tried to get past everything, even though when we brought it all up to her, she said that we should talk about it because she thinks there was a miscommunication, and then it was never brought up again. Recently, she dropped off an envelope with $100 in it that was addressed to only me —not my SO, and the bottom line side I hope to get to know you all better. Supposedly it was from her mother who I get the same vibes from, but she is much more quiet and distant. I don’t know at this point I can’t think of anything nice to say and I have cut off contact with myself as much as possible. I will do anything to protect my kids hearts, and that means all of them not just the baby. My SO and I are on the same page… but I’m looking for outside eyes. Am I wrong for the way I feel??

I will try to summarize as best I can with this. My DH and I have been married for almost 20 years and have 2 teenagers. The first 10 years with my MIL were tolerable and at one point enjoyable. The last 10 years not so much...She is is great grandmother but has trouble with boundaries. A few months ago I heard a phone conversation between my DH and MIL. He was confronting her about getting some therapy. MIL unfortunately had some trauma occur in her life when my DH's bio dad unfortunately passed away 44 years ago. She saw a report on Fb of a car accident and was concerned my DH was involved. No reason why she would really think this but jumped to conclusions. But she started calling all of our family and friends asking if they had seen us but didnt say she was concerned about the accident. She just said she needed to talk. We were fine and at a family dinner and since the voice-mail said she is just checking on us we didn't immediately call back. This has increasingly happened more and more over the years and it's obvious MIL needs some therapy. My DH called her back and had her on speakerphone and brought up the therapy which somehow transitioned into a conversation about me. She didnt know i was listening i wasnt trying to be sneaky i was just in the same room as my husband. Key takeaways from the call: she doesn't really like me, she doesn't agree with how I parent our kids, she believes my family and i will take my kids away if my DH passes away. I was shocked. I know my mil and I are different but I truly didn't think she disliked me. My husband stood up for me stating he supports me and we are a team and said "well you are always saying we should communicate more and be direct so you should know wife is on the phone". She flipped out started yelling saying he broke her trust, he is her son and should be able to have a private conversation and ultimately hung up. Couple of things to point out my family and inlaws get along great I have big family close by and inlaws are only part of husband's family that is close. My family invites mil and fil to all events and has for over 20 years. My mil is very close to my grandmother and they talk every week. Additionally, my mil in recent years has really wanted her voice be heard (her words). She constantly posting on fb about politics (30+posts a day). She tells everyone she was never allowed to voice her beliefs growing up and will no longer be silenced. We don't discuss politics, just not our thing so we often struggle holding a conversation with mil because this is her only hobby. My DH is embarrassed by her fb rants and behavior over the past 5 years and has addressed it several times. Their relationship has struggled which I believe has only exacerbated mil behavior. MIL will not go to therapy or take any accountability. DH and I have distanced ourselves but she still takes kids to dinner or lunch every other week. She is a good grandma. She loves my kids but I can't stand being around her now that I know the truth. I have avoided her successfully but now we are at a point with kids sporting events she will be around. My question is do I confront her and lay down a boundary which would really be we dont need to speak ? I know she won't change. I also don't want to add stress to my DH. I want to confront her but not sure its worth it. Should I just continue to ignore her and fake it or tell her I'm done? Please help.

I honestly fail to understand why mothers, and in much particular, !ndian mothers, so overbearing, overprotective and over sensitive towards their male kids?

I have seen this within families of my own, and the same is in case of my BF (27) of 11yrs. His mother is unbearable.

Always calling, texting, and smothering him. If he’s out and late by 10mins, there’s a panicked call. If he’s is on a trip (either w me or w his frnds), she literally doesn’t sleep till the time he has reached the destination, and is constantly taking updates via call/texts. The entire trip is also the same, starts with ‘good morning are u up!?’ text/call and continues till the end of day with extensive updates.

BF also I feel does not create any boundaries or restrict such behaviour. I cant handle that woman at all. Absolutely despise her (there are other things that have happened too ofc).

But I really reallyyyyyy fail to understand why are mothers like this, why do they not understand that they were and are also married and most likely have experienced the same from their MIL.

How and when does this end? I fail to also see a future with BF given the way his mother is.

So money is an ongoing issue with my boyfriend’s mom. He and I have been together for 2 years and I’m his first long term relationship. You can see my post history for some of the outrageous things his mother has done, but the long story short version is she is incredibly financially irresponsible and asks him for large sums of money frequently. I’ve brought it up as an issue to him before and at first his response was basically “my mom has done a lot for me and I feel obligated to help her.” Over time I have been able to convince him to start “helping her” with finances by sitting down and looking at her bills and trying to figure out where exactly all her money is going. She has a good job, makes only about 10k less than boyfriend does a year, so why does she seem to have no money saved for emergencies? None of this has been particularly effective.

This weekend we were together and I saw a text from her asking for him to Zelle her $60. He immediately did it. At that point, I told him that it was only fair that he knows that I’m not going to marry him if he comes with a financial dependent in the form of his mom. We have been starting to talk about the future a lot, and I am set up to be making a lot more money than him in a few years when I finish my medical residency, so I made it clear it’s not a greed thing. I simply don’t wish to fund someone’s extravagant lifestyle just because they want nice things and are too irresponsible to keep their finances in order. I also flat out told him I think she takes advantage of his generosity and the guilt she knows he feels about her raising him all by herself.

My bf took this conversation very seriously. More than he ever has a conversation about his mom and money. The next day, he explained the situation to her and told her that her behavior is impacting his relationship. He offered to pay for a financial counselor to sit down with her and get things figured out/get her on some sort of debt plan. He explained that he would continue to help her with “emergencies” in the interim (it’s always an emergency with her) but that she couldn’t use him as a long term plan. Her initial reaction was defensive and guilt trippy. Lots of “I have had a hard life and have been through a lot”. Basically, the same attitude that got her in this position in the first place. But ultimately she was amenable to the financial counseling.

I guess what I’m wondering is, have any of you ever been in a situation like this that had a good outcome other than no-contact? NC is really not an option, so I am at a cross between trying to hold out hope or going ahead and planning to move on without bf.

So…I really just don’t want to attend my MIL’s bday celebration dinner that we have for her pretty much every single year. I want to skip it this year, and I have valid reasons for wanting to skip it…

1) she’s been cold and distant to me; i have tried with her in the past to just be met with her turning around and either talking crap about me to other family members (I.e. my sister in law) or her just doing subtle rude things to me that my SO can’t always detect or understand. She has caused so much drama in the past and I’m just sick of her. It’s to the point I don’t have her around my toddler cuz of how shitty she’s been towards me…she’s changed but not enough imo.

2) there was a recent petty thing she did which was crop me out of one of my family pics of me, my daughter and my husband…😒 that just is not nice or ok.

3) the woman is really hard to be around for even 2 hours. I simply want peace and going to her bday celebration means she is going to try to monopolize my child and cross my boundaries AGAIN, be an underhanded jerk most likely, cuz when is she not?

Just to reiterate to drive my point home: I really just want peace. And life is short. I don’t feel like going and celebrating someone who doesn’t treat me great. Why should I?

Anyway,I really appreciate in advance anyone who has read my post and wants to help!😊 Please lmk how I can possibly just get out of this situation without causing too big a rift between me and my SO…😬😅

To make a long and difficult story short, I’ve had 5 miscarriages. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I don’t want to have kids bc clearly it doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me. I tell everyone who asks when my husband and I will have children (we’re in our early 30s, been together almost 7 years now) that we just don’t want them. It’s my secret and my shame.

My MIL has never shown tact. She’s told me that my hands, hair and body are unattractive before and that my relationship with my husband won’t last. Since we’ve been married she has lightened up a lot but she still takes her jabs when she has the chance. I just see her as little as possible and she lives in another state, thank God.

She came to visit a week ago and stayed with us. She was going to visit a friend in the area and talked about how her friend’s first grandchild was just born. I responded with “how exciting!” She sneered and said “yeah for her, hard pass for me.” I just let it roll off my back as she doesn’t know about the miscarriages, I would NEVER give her such information about myself… I usually just ignore her bc she’s just a miserable person and I usually don’t let her mean comments get to me but for some reason that one keeps coming back to me and I just fall apart… idk it’s probably a me thing I need to talk about in therapy but I just needed to let someone know who doesn’t know me irl…