Renowned television presenter Caroline Flack on valentines day, 2020. She would go on to take her own life hours after this photo was taken at the young age of 40.

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u/cazminda 29d ago

If you watch the documentary her friends and family made it sounded like all of her relationships were very volatile and she'd tried to commit suicide many times when they broke down

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u/redheadtherapist 29d ago

Which doc?

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u/Smilingtribute 28d ago

Caroline Flack: Her Life and Death it aired on C4 in 2021.

It’s been taken off from the streaming site but it is out there.

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u/Ill_Armadillo3335 29d ago

I wonder if she had borderline personality disorder

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u/Rakins_420 28d ago

If you dont mind me asking, what is the link? I'm not familiar with personality disorders but I often see the term used when describing suicidal women.

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u/Bad_Funny 28d ago edited 28d ago

My sister-in-law had borderline personality disorder (and a terrible childhood of abuse & abandonment).

She was talented, creative intelligent, stunning, wicked funny, loving, passionate—with a tragic devastatingly tortured spirit.

Her relationships were volatile, despite being good at choosing very even-keeled men. BPD is horrific for everyone involved. Feels insurmountable. I always felt like she never had a chance against it.

SIL had made many legitimate attempts on her own life when her relationships were in turmoil.

Three of those attempts were the same method as Caroline Flack's, the final of which ended her life in 2021, leaving behind 3 beloved children under 9 years old at the time.

Much of SIL's guilt and turmoil was because she knew she was behaving in manipulative, shitty abusive ways toward her partners & friends. She felt devastated she couldn't figure out how to consistently be healthy and mother her kids in ways she lacked as a child herself. We had to set serious boundaries with her to not get sucked down unhealthy spirals. We loved her dearly but BPD can really create monsters. It was hard to grapple with having had to set those boundaries with her while she was still alive.

I only bring this up because it's the thing that stood out to me about Flack's story. My understanding is it's incredibly rare for women to die by suicide in this specific manner.

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u/Free-Maize-7712 28d ago

Thank you for recognizing the humanity in your sister in law. My dear sister also has borderline personality disorder and while it does come with challenging behaviors the hostile prejudice many people, even therapists, have towards those with BPD is devastating. It's so refreshing to hear someone speak with such loving kindness someone struggling with BPD

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u/spacegirl2820 28d ago

Yep. You are so right. It hurts me because my first born daughter has Borderline. She was text book with her behaviours. But over the years I have worked hard with her in teaching different ways to not react and calm down.

I am so proud of the person she is today but at the same time we both understand she will always have it and that's ok.

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u/Bad_Funny 28d ago

I'm so encouraged to hear your daughter had support and is learning to thrive. It's so hard to love someone with BPD and stay healthy yourself.

I wish my SIL's parents and family had supported her instead of contributing to her trauma and doubling down on her BPD symptoms.

Thank you for supporting your daughter through her journey. I can only imagine how difficult it's been on you, your daughter and the rest of her circle.

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u/spacegirl2820 27d ago

Thank you. It has been hard but she's my baby (30) lol. I thankfully have a great relationship with both my daughters. It's all been worth it.

I hope your SIL manages to find her peace

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u/Bad_Funny 28d ago

I'm glad your sister has your support, and I hope you have support as well!

There is so much stigma, and I've seen very little tangible experience with people understanding one disorder, i.e. an illness. It causes people to disregulate and act in terrible ways, yes. But that doesn't necessarily mean they're just "terrible people" who deserve to be cast aside.

I wish we could have saved her. We miss her so much and raising her young kids in the aftermath of suicide and helping them understand their mom loved them endlessly has been such a devastating journey. They deserve the world.

Much love to you and your family!

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u/schmidt_face 27d ago

Piggybacking— I have BPD and sometimes have to exit out of threads when people start talking about it because they’re so hateful. I understand some have had really bad experiences with people who suffer from the disorder. But we aren’t all the same, and some of us work very hard for our entire lives to be good friends, partners, children, siblings, coworkers, etc. My symptoms have calmed with age, but they were mostly detrimental to myself. SH, abandonment issues that caused me to cling to people who couldn’t handle it long-term. Stuff like that. I used to hurt ALL the time. They say it’s the most physically painful mental disorder and a very hefty percentage of us kill ourselves because we can’t handle the ups and downs inside our own spirits.

All this is to say, thank you for your understanding and compassion. I’m sure more people who suffer from it have seen this comment thread and gotten something out of your writing.

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u/looseseal_2 28d ago

My now-adult niece has BPD and multiple suicide attempts over the years. Some of her attempts have been to "get back" at people who upset her, and those attempts always happen fast without much planning. They happen in what I'll call a manic break; I don't know if that's an accurate term. I'm afraid that one day she'll be successful, but it'll be by accident. That she intends to scare whoever made her mad, but she goes too far by mistake. It's made me wonder how often that happens, someone dies by suicide but didn't truly intend to, they just misjudge whatever they're doing.

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u/eremi 27d ago

Yeah the reason why bpd has such a high mortality rate is “death by misadventure” like what you’re describing. There are many people with bpd that do intentionally die by suicide with thorough planning…but also many that don’t necessarily intend to die, but end up dying when they’re in serious crisis and trying to cope using familiar impulsive self destructive actions

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u/looseseal_2 26d ago

Oh, wow, I fully expected to be downvoted because I might come off to others as minimizing the bpd experience, but instead I learned that the phrase "death by misadventure" exists. I'm obviously not happy to hear it happens often enough to be recognized, but I do feel like my concerns are valid. Thank you.

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u/Bad_Funny 27d ago

I'm almost certain that's what happened with my sister-in-law.

It was during COVID lock-down. Her kids were at their dad's that day. She was working from home, which was pretty rural, her car had stopped running, so she was stuck and she was very isolated.

She had a pretty normal morning, but got in a text argument with her boyfriend at the time. She was very upset about the argument, and stopped responding, which was very unlike her. He got worried and went over to see if she was okay, and he found her in the garage.

Not even two hours earlier she had sent me a joke, super normal light conversation, and a funny little comic about how she was practicing drawing more realistic bird legs.

Less than two hours later she was dead. No note, no signs of a plan. Middle of doing laundry & working on a painting.

It was pretty clear she kinda just broke and it was an impulsive decision because she was overwhelmed with her feelings in that moment. Unfortunately, she lived much of her life right on that edge of being okay and very not okay.

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u/looseseal_2 26d ago

Ugh, I'm so sorry. I appreciate you sharing your story, though. I've wondered if I'm being dramatic or dismissive of my niece's experience, but clearly I'm not.

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u/Big_Jackfruit_8821 28d ago

Volatile relationships (hate to love to hate) and mood swings (high to low to high)

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u/Rakins_420 28d ago

Thanks heaps for replying, for some reason I must of put it in the same box as multiple personality disorder. Which I see is entirely different.

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u/David_High_Pan 26d ago

That's what people said to me when I expressed that I probably have BPD. They thought I was rotating through different personalities.

I was surprised at how few people had heard of this disorder.

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u/Rakins_420 22d ago

Its a term I've come across before, but mostly only when discussing women in a negative way. I imagine that's some of the reason it is not taken more seriously or perhaps given more representation.

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u/PersonalitySafe1810 29d ago

Lets not forget she smashed a lamp over her sleeping boyfriend's head because she thought he was cheating. And there was nothing said either about her relationship with a 17 yr old Harry Stiles when she was over twice his age. It's awful when anyone's life ends like hers but there's been an awful lot of revisionism since her death.

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u/rangedps 29d ago

Exactly! People also love to bring up how her boyfriend wanted the charges dropped but how many times do victims of domestic abuse either not report an incident or want the charges dropped? Because they're afraid of the consequences, or because they have been abused to the point of excusing it or somehow placing the blame on themselves. So it doesn't really matter whether or not he wanted the charges dropped. And let's not forget that just because Harry Styles was 17, and the age of consent in the UK is 16, does not make it moral. She was a grown woman dating a teenager. She was a violent abuser and clearly had a thing for young boys. Tragic she ended her own life, maybe she could've gotten help, but people love to forget and make excuses for people's problems when they die, and I think it's disingenuous.

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u/Hairy_Air 28d ago

Not only being scared or self blaming, some victims actually love their accuser. They might genuinely not want the other party to he seriously prosecuted. But it’s not an excuse for the abuser.

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u/bbmarvelluv 29d ago

I felt like I was being gaslight when I kept bringing it up. Like they were blaming social media and bullying and to “be kind” but this woman was not towards her partners.

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u/Superb_Narwhal6101 29d ago

Sounds like it. I didn’t know about the Harry Stiles thing either. Gross.

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u/poulan9 28d ago

She was a domestic abuser to him her bf and then fatally to herself. I'm not at all happy about any of these outcomes but the revisionism is quite disturbing...are we planning to do the same type of revisionism for Saville?

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u/Emotional_Spite_8937 29d ago

People say you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead but she was abusive toward her boyfriend and dated an underage Harry Styles when she was 32.

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u/_98_98_ 29d ago

Yeah I'm tired of the way she gets victimised over here. Was it sad she died? Yes. But that doesn't absolve her of her wrongdoings and it definitely shouldn't make her victim. I'll never forget the #BeKind era bollocks

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u/DiscothequeHooligan 28d ago

A person can be both a perpetrator of abuse and a victim, they're not mutually exclusive.. Just sayin' :)

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u/_98_98_ 28d ago edited 28d ago

I'm aware of that, but she was no victim and numerous boyfriends came forward saying she was abusive. Not to mention her relationship with Harry Styles at a questionable age - just sayin

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u/DiscothequeHooligan 28d ago

Okay

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u/KnotiaPickle 28d ago

Maybe her guilt is why she did it?

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u/emmylux12 28d ago

Yes! And to all the people saying 17 is not underage in the UK, it was not just the age gap. He was a teenager new to the showbiz world whilst she was a celebrity. She was in a position of power over him as he was in a really impressionable situation! I always thought it was crazy that everyone seemed to overlook that this “relationship” happened

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u/Jellyoscar 28d ago

17 is quite literally still a minor, that’s such a stupid thing for people to say

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u/Spirited-Ability-626 25d ago

Yes, my stepdad was done for multiple “sexual assault of a minor” charges for the times he sexually assaulted me at 16\17 (UK)

No one believed me because “it’s the UK, 17 is not a minor”, I literally had to show people the charge sheet.

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u/doomladen 28d ago

It doesn’t count when it’s older women and younger men, in our society. Sad but true.

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u/12blackrainbows 29d ago

Not to mention taking your own life to avoid prosecution and embarrassment... Why not just apologize?

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u/Traditional-Emu-6167 28d ago

I think it was the image that got damaged that mattered to her the most. She was kicked from Love Island and I think she couldn't get over that. She was a public figure, pretty popular in the UK then. I think she thought her career was over for her and she couldn't face it. It would probably just blow over in a few years and she'd get another opportunities as she was good at her job, but who knows ?!

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u/Upper_Rent_176 29d ago

17 is not underage in the uk

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u/thewhiterosequeen 29d ago

That is not a healthy age gap, legalities aside.

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u/BlackDeath3 29d ago

This "unhealthy age gap" stuff smells like puritanical nonsense.

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u/suhhhrena 29d ago

Yeah you’re right anyone who says a 30 something year old adult shouldn’t date a 17 year old is a puritan.

Be so for real, man.

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u/BlackDeath3 29d ago

Great argument

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u/Dhenn004 29d ago

Yea adults dating children is immoral outside of religion. Its usually religion that perpetuates that shit behavior.

What are you on about?

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u/BlackDeath3 29d ago

We're not talking about adults dating children, we're talking about age gaps.

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u/Dhenn004 29d ago

And this age gap involves an adult dating a 17 year old.

A non problematic age gap would be like a 45 year old and a 30 year old.

The issue is when its a 17 year old and a 30+ year old.

So yea we are actually talking about adults and children.

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u/ViolettaNoRegard 29d ago

Exactly. I’m 12 years older than my husband, I’m 45 and he’s 33. Would I have dated him when he was 17 and I was 29? Absolutely not! I doubt we’d have had anything in common at that stage of our lives anyway. Apart from it being noncey I can’t imagine how tedious it would be as a grown woman to date a teenager!

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u/BlackDeath3 29d ago

Then why refer to it as an age gap rather than a consent/adulthood issue?

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u/Dhenn004 29d ago

You can use either statement lol

This specific age gap involves such topics you just said...

I think youre getting stuck on the word age gap as if its in a vacuum and not involved in the conversation of a 17 year old and a 32 year old.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/BlackDeath3 29d ago

I don't think the reception would be much different if the guy had been 18. I think the term "age gap" was used for a reason.

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u/brownmouthwash 29d ago

Lol right, that must be it.

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u/Ivanhoemx 29d ago

It's still gross.

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u/Upper_Rent_176 29d ago

Didn't claim otherwise

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u/Ivanhoemx 29d ago

You did lie though: 17 is still underage in the UK. Age of consent is 16, but any person under 18 is still legally a kid.

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u/Upper_Rent_176 28d ago

You're just playing with words. You could say under 18 is a child but age of consent is 16 so an adult fucking a child is legal. Which it is, but no one would put it like that. Writing that someone was in a relationship with someone underage implies it was under the age for legal relationship which is not true

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u/Acid_Monster 29d ago

Quite a noncey thing to say though

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u/ShrimplyKrilliant 29d ago

Nah, as someone from the UK it's still gross.

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u/Shoddy-Rip8259 29d ago

Predatory

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u/Emotional_Spite_8937 29d ago

Legal doesn’t equal moral.

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u/atommathyou 29d ago

Let me guess, you still like to school people on the different definitions of pedophiles.

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u/Piccadillies 29d ago

Not sure why you've been downvoted? Legally and factually you're right. Although morally - I'm not quite so sure.

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u/derelictthot 28d ago

Factually he isn't right the brain doesn't stop maturing til age 25, that's what makes you an adult not an arbitrary law.

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u/NovaLunaColo13 28d ago

I agree 17 and 30 something shouldn't ever be dating. That's just gross. Also, I want to make sure misinformation isn't spread. The brain developing until age 25 is a myth. Here's some helpful literature:

https://www.sciencefocus.com/comment/brain-myth-25-development

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u/Melonary 28d ago

It's not a myth per se, it's just widely misinterpreted as that person has done. I'm not sure this article is that much better (as someone who is published in neurosci) honestly, it's more like specific areas are still developing, but continue to develop after in other ways. Your brain changes throughout your life.

What specifically was referred to with that rough time frame was particular traits and risks, particularly with impulsively and decision-making. It's not justification for denying legal rights because it's only one small part of a larger picture of development and it was specifically used with regards to criminal justice and recidivism risk for that reason.

Anyway you're right that saying someone is still a child (thats not a scientific determination, at least past a certain extremes - specific age of majority is somewhat more cultural) based on that or that your "brain is not developed" until 25 as a blanket statement is incorrect, but it IS true that your brain is still developing in some specific areas until around that age. And then it continues to develope after, but in a somewhat different way - even the cognitive peak he mentions in your 20s is kind of misleading bc it's more like strategies for cognitive tasks tend to change with age, it absolutely doesn't mean the average person cognitively declines after their 20s except in very specific measures which are more indicative of again, changing strategies with age.

Blah blah blah I agree that their statement was misleading but so is that article honestly 🥲 it's very hard to make neuroscience concise, funny, and accessible to the general public.

None of this is my commentary in this article or thread and I appreciate the correction to the suggestion you're a child until 25 which is certainly an incorrect interpretation.

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u/BigPhatVideos 29d ago

How was he underage if he was older than 16?

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u/Beep_boop_human 29d ago

People use underage to mean legally a child, not necessarily referring to the age of consent.

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u/LauraPa1mer 29d ago

No, underage has a specific meaning, and that meaning is "under the age of consent". Applying American laws to other countries is not helpful.

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u/Emotional_Spite_8937 29d ago

1) Are you considered an adult at 17 in the UK? Can you vote and buy alcohol and cigarettes at 17?

2) Legal doesn’t equal moral

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u/MassiveClusterFuck 29d ago

You can vote and gamble at 16 in the UK, you can't buy any controlled substances like alcohol and cigarettes until 18.

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u/bambi54 28d ago

TIL you can vote at 16 in the UK.

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u/22nd_century 28d ago

It's a brand new law.

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u/MassiveClusterFuck 28d ago edited 27d ago

Has been the case in Scotland for a while, it's only now it's being extended to parliamentary elections for the whole UK.

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u/bambi54 28d ago

That’s interesting. How’s the reception been to it?

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u/Beep_boop_human 29d ago

I'm not American. Underage has many meanings- can't vote because you're underage, can't drink because you're underage- these are not just 'Americanisms' and they're not just about sex.

He was legally a child in the UK at the time, and also above the age of consent. Nobody is mentioning his age for legal reasons. They're saying it's gross, they're not trying to prosecute her corpse.

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u/BigPhatVideos 29d ago

“Underage” would generally refer to someone who’s under the age of consent, which is 16 years old in the UK.

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u/sharipep 29d ago

Her boyfriend didn’t even want those charges filed against her but they did anyway

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u/e01900478296 29d ago

VERY common in DV situations for victims to not want their abusers to be prosecuted

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u/Dhenn004 29d ago edited 29d ago

Yep in many places the state "become the victim" to prevent such things from happening.

Its certainly a double edged sword and is a very complicated issue.

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u/Glowing_up 29d ago

For cps to proceed with charges without victim support, it means they had a lot of evidence to convict her. Simpletons took their statement of it being in public interest to prosecute as some salacious term because she is famous.

Public interest, in fact, refers to the management of funds and the consideration that each case brought forward has the probability of a successful conviction to justify the expense of trial. Not gossip.

She killed herself so she wouldn't be exposed. Many abusers do.

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u/bambi54 28d ago

That doesn’t matter. Do you think it’s a good idea for an abuse victim to be able to drop DV charges? When I was 18 my dad got arrested for DV charges against me. My mom and my family threatened me to “drop” the charges. I wasn’t able to, was able to say that and they confirmed it. I did try though because I was scared. I’m glad that choice is out of victims hands.

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u/throwawayacc5323 29d ago

I’ll never forget her taken advantage of a minor 🥴

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u/Upper_Rent_176 29d ago

17 is a year older than the age of consent in the uk. Nothing illegal there.

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u/Emotional_Spite_8937 29d ago edited 28d ago

These weirdos in the comments keep defending a grown ass 32 yo woman dating a 17 yo teenager.

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u/brownmouthwash 29d ago

Careful, they’ll call you a prude if you think someone in their thirties fucking someone in their midteens is at all problematic.

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u/SimplisticPinky 29d ago

Bro pulling the legal age of consent card doesn't make it right.

32 dating a 17 yo is still fucking weird and gross. If one of my friends did that, the first thing I'm thinking is NOT "oh well it's legal"

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u/Outrageous-Season799 29d ago

I have a 15 year old son. It’s absolutely repulsive to think of a 30+ year old woman dating someone just two years older than he is. It’s predatory. There’s not a single thing a 17 year old boy and a woman in her 30’s have in common. Idc how a country defines what an “consenting adult” is..you’re still a damn child at 17.

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u/BlobTheOriginal 28d ago

'Aight, on the list you go

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u/wilease 28d ago

She was 32. 15 years older than him. She was in a position of power and he was effectively still a child, as anyone under the age 18 legally is described. It was gross. She abused her boyfriend violently. If a man had done what Caroline Flack did, there would be no question we would condemn it and that he would been seen as an abuser. On top of that, we would definitely condemn a man for dating a child. It's sad she felt she had no way out and so ended her life, of course it is. It's tragic. But, I think when someone dies in such circumstances people forget, or don't want to talk about, the truth.

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u/Upper_Rent_176 28d ago

No I will never condemn a person over the age of consent dating a person over the age of consent.

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u/tia2181 26d ago

Huge difference between 19 and 17, or 17 and 15 than 32 and 17... the boy was taken advantage of.

Yes he consented like most 17vyr olds might, but doesn't make it okay morally and socially. Its incredibly gross!
My kids are almost 18 and 20.. they still need guidance. If a man approached them aged 32 then he'd be manipulating them for sure. This age gap is too significant. But boys aged 19 and 20 are still on their level for sure.

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u/Upper_Rent_176 26d ago

You know there's a whole shit load of people not on Reddit that find this mentality utterly perplexing?

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u/tia2181 26d ago

What.. thinking 17 yr olds don't have capacity to be on relationship with someone almost old enough to be their parent? Thankfully my girls happily accept that even being mid 20s is WAY TOO OLD for them now!

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u/throwawayacc5323 29d ago

Idc it’s still gross!

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/throwawayacc5323 29d ago edited 29d ago

if you u/therejectethan don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating someone who’s frontal lobe hasn’t even fully developed as a 30+ yr old then that’s a you problem 💀

Seek help

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u/LacrimaNymphae 28d ago

where are your icon and header from

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u/throwawayacc5323 28d ago

The last of us (Pinterest)

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u/ManchuDemon 28d ago

FYI victims of domestic violence often drop charges afterward. Doesn’t make the abuse any less legitimate or serious.

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u/TrixieLaBouche 29d ago

If roles had been reversed and her boyfriend had whacked her over the head with a lamp whilst she was sleeping would anyone have been mourning his death? Domestic abuse is domestic abuse.

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u/bbmarvelluv 29d ago

I mean people have been mourning Ozzy…

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u/Djassie18698 28d ago

Mourning is different from telling everyone Ozzy was good guy etc

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u/bbmarvelluv 28d ago

Uhhhhh did you not see the comments of people absolving him for his actions and praising him for being a good guy? Same thing people were doing with Caroline lmaooo

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u/Djassie18698 28d ago

No i didn't see it, and I don't agree with both lol. Just because it happened to Ozzy doesn't mean it's ok and should happen to everybody 'lmaooo'

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u/tia2181 26d ago

She was hardly on his talent scale though. Ozzy did some horrific stuff but also did a whole bunch of incredible stuff too. He wasn't just about the bad and that is why people still mourn him in spite of abusive stuff. My dad was alcoholic, never violent but clear hard on my mother .. he died 3 yrs after they divorced when I was 23, he was 50. Mother expected me to only see him like she did, to hate him, to forget a good side to him. My dad wasn't the same man as her husband was....

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u/withpeaceandl0ve 28d ago

you say this like male abusers arent mourned all the time

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u/CharlesDingus_ah_um 28d ago

What did you hope to accomplish with this comment? How is this hyperbole constructive to the discussion at hand?

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u/Cheerful_Cynic11 29d ago

Smh at people trying to justify her being with a 17 yo because the age of consent is 16 in UK . It’s still wrong

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u/IWasOnThe18thHole 29d ago

Trying to sanewash this is, frankly, insane

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u/nugent_music96 29d ago

Sounds like she did it to avoid jail. Not exactly a sad instance of suicide when she was just avoiding responsibility permanently.

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u/djpromo_vqs 29d ago

Another case of people not wanting to face the consequences of their actions.

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u/ItsyouNOme 28d ago

Domestic abuser, groomer etc then took her life instead of responsibility

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u/voldemortsmankypants 28d ago

I detest the way she’s become almost a martyr since her death, and people claimed she was so misunderstood. At the core of it she was a predatory abuser and should be remembered (or preferably forgotten) as such.

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u/Whosentyounow 29d ago

Renowned? Really?

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u/vickimarie0390 29d ago

I was literally like so confused and automatically thought op must have been too young to be there

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u/Beginning_Problem_76 29d ago

She was an abusive piece of shit who couldn't face the consequences of her actions. No sympathy for her.

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u/BusyAtilla 29d ago

So just bots posting pro sexual predator/grooming shite now?

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u/RancidOgre 28d ago

Holy cow, I didn’t even know she died! I remember her from my obsession with one direction in middle school

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u/Penelopilily 27d ago

Can't handle the consequences of her own actions? Oh well.

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u/OSRS-MLB 29d ago

Fuck her

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u/Knaggs1120 28d ago

Man, pretend this was a POS dude who beat his girlfriend, smashed a lamp over her head while she was sleeping, has a history of abusive relationships, and took his life. Literally nothing of value was lost in either cases.

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u/tia2181 27d ago

My thought exactly.. they never want to be prosecuted so victim later denies. Reverse situation and this wouldn't even get a mention.. just good riddance to an abuser! Women destroy lives and take them too.

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u/PwnySoprano 28d ago

What do you mean?

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u/withpeaceandl0ve 28d ago

she was a pedo, i dont really care that she died

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u/umilikeanonymity 28d ago

Na, ppl like her who abuse their partners don’t deserve to be remembered.

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u/humblechestnut 28d ago

Her life was somewhat chaotic.

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u/SilentCatPaws 28d ago

Recommend watching the documentary her family participated in (always glad of a doc where the family are involved) sadly it seemed inevitable as she struggled her whole life although as a viewer I would never have known

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/SivlerMiku 29d ago

To be fair, she was a piece of shit.

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u/MaAreYouOnUppers 29d ago

I’m across the pond and have never heard of her, so I have no idea, but why do you say she was a piece of shit?

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago

Weeeeeell, she did assault her boyfriend (whacked him in the head with a lamp while he was asleep because she thought he was cheating on her) although he later declined to support the prosecution, saying that she'd been mentally unwell for a while. The inquest into her death found that she had hit him, despite the fact that he said he considered himself a witness rather than a victim. So, yeah, bit more complex than just 'the press hounded an innocent woman to her death'; she clearly had mental health issues going on for a while, and being charged with assault, plus the ensuing press interest, was clearly a final straw.

She also got a lot of justified criticism for dating 17 year old Harry Styles when she was 32.

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u/MaAreYouOnUppers 29d ago

Ahh I see. Thanks for the deets! Tragic all around.

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u/Hephf 29d ago

Yeah, well, that's a child.

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago edited 29d ago

Did you mean to reply to someone else? I never said otherwise. I don't really know why you're arguing against something I didn't at any point defend...

Edit: no clue why you're downvoting me. You seem to have misunderstood my very clearly worded comment, which frankly isn't my problem, but have a great afternoon.

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u/DoctorDarkstorm 29d ago

Can a person commit terrible actions and still have terrible things happen to them? idk

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago

I mean, yes. We all contain multitudes. I don't think she was an irredeemable POS, but I do think that the domestic violence she committed is a part of her narrative that people tend to gloss over, which I don't think is particularly helpful.

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u/Van_groove 29d ago

Why date a 17-year-old as a grown ass 32-year-old person 🤢🤮

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago

Quite.

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u/Van_groove 29d ago

I wholeheartedly agree with the said statement.

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u/oof033 29d ago

Yeah, it’s one of those topics where nuance can exist but the focus has got to be on the folks she victimized first. I appreciate how straight forward you are about it, it’s an important discussion to be had

It honestly like she panicked because she was going to be held accountable legally in a way she hadn’t before. Happens with a lot of abusers, especially when there are years of them carefully crafting a “stable” persona to the outside world. When it all comes crumbling down so do they and the lies they’ve told themselves. That’s when people get impulsive and act like cornered animals.

It’s lucky she didn’t take him out with her, happens far too often in violent relationships. Poor dude, it can be so hard to leave. I hope he’s found a great support system and some healing. No one deserves abuse

4

u/Glowing_up 29d ago

She had somehow rekindled a relationship with him in the meantime and no doubt got him to drop support of the prosecution. When she found out the police would prosecute anyway, and had evidence such as body cam footage which was irrefutable. She commited suicide to prevent it becoming public knowledge.

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u/Saffer13 29d ago

She also hung herself, instead of hanged. You'd expect a television presenter to know the difference.

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago

No, it's 'hanged'. The past tense of 'hang' in this context is 'hanged'. It just sounds weird because it's 'hung' in all other contexts.

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u/CharlesWafflesx 29d ago

Lmao. The snark accompanied with being confidently incorrect is delicious

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u/Gold_Relationship459 29d ago

r/confidentlyincorrect

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u/Jazzbo64 29d ago

It’s “hanged.” Plants are hung, people are hanged.

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u/Azryhael 29d ago

Domestic violence is inexcusably shitty. It’s fairly uncommon for a man to call it in. I don’t know the details of this case, but I suspect it must’ve been pretty egregious.

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago

She hit him in the head with a lamp while he was asleep. He later refused to support the prosecution when she was charged with assault because he blamed her mental health problems rather than her. CPS initially cautioned her, but she was later charged with assault by beating.

I definitely think it tends to be glossed over in favour of the 'the evil press killed her!!' narrative; whichever way you look at it, she assaulted her boyfriend, and she should have been prosecuted. The decision to prosecute her was investigated and found to be correct.

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u/Glowing_up 29d ago

And in the 999 call he was so afraid he said she was trying to kill him. Very glossed over.

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u/OSRS-MLB 29d ago

She was a domestic abuser

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/melonofknowledge 29d ago

I'm not sure the press did hound her, honestly. They reported on the fact that she whacked her boyfriend in the head with a lamp, and she later died by suicide after she was prosecuted. I think the narrative that the press are to blame is overly simplistic; I'm sure the press attention played a part in her decision, but she was already suffering from very poor mental health, and I think that with the looming assault prosecution, she just found herself in a corner that she couldn't see a way out of.

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u/LauraPa1mer 29d ago

One instance of violent behaviour doesn't make someone a piece of shit. What a narrow view of the world.

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u/idontwantausername41 29d ago

Its never one instance, one instance was called in

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u/SivlerMiku 26d ago

Tell that to every single dude who has has their life ruined by false or untrue accusations against their partners. Domestic violence is never okay, not even once. She was a violent piece of shit.

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u/Morepastor 29d ago

They are brutal

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u/Famous-Jaguar3837 29d ago

People are kinda sick on this page. She may have made mistakes, but this is still a human being who felt so trapped that she thought ending her life was the easier option. It’s tragic for anyone to think that’s the way. I really don’t understand the lack of empathy towards another human being.

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u/tia2181 27d ago

Would you have considered empathy for a man that beat his wife? That was finally getting legal charges for years of abuse so took his own life?

The gender of the abuser doesn't matter, neither deserve empathy for feeling bad that they were going to be appropriately punished! She should have had guts yo face up to her bad behaviour, didn't have to take her own life and be now worshipped gir doing so. She was a criminal!

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u/Salty_Antelope10 29d ago

It’s sad how we can pretend everything is ok

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Is it me, or is that nightgown... er.... see-through?

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u/skunkwalnut 29d ago

young age of 40

10

u/Superb_Narwhal6101 29d ago

Hey! 40 isn’t old…is it? Well, I’m 43, and my 12 year old calls me ancient. In fact, once he told me “you’re so old, when you were a kid, jesus was your bestie.” So yeah, nevermind. I’m old.

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u/SneakyChief655 29d ago

40, she was a fuckin’ kid

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Kealanine 29d ago

You serious…?

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/ShrimplyKrilliant 29d ago

I'd move on fast if my partner hit me over the head with a lamp too

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u/CopeAndKodiak 29d ago

good, happy for him 😌

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u/sharipep 29d ago

God I miss her

CELEBRITY Renowned television presenter Caroline Flack on valentines day, 2020. She would go on to take her own life hours after this photo was taken at the young age of 40.

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