r/lastimages • u/Starshopping11 • 4d ago
FAMILY My mom in the ICU August 17th, She would die August 19th.
Her Story…
My mom passed away August 19th, She was only 59. She had suffered a fall that broke 3 ribs, once there they discovered she had pneumonia and double lung infection. They put her on a ventilator and I knew it was bad.
Mom since the young age of either 26 or 28 has dealt with cancer. First it was stomach which she beat, then she had a football sized tumor removed. She then got lung cancer and had to get half her lung removed. After that she got brain cancer and had to get brain surgery which left her almost completely paralyzed in one side.
I had a lot of hope for her because she always beat the odds no matter what. However she was given TWO choices, the first was hard. They wanted to send her to a nursing home 3 hours away and put a trachea in. She would be a ventilator permanently and only eat through a feeding tube.
The second was to remove her ventilator and basically let her die fighting. She chose that option, the days leading up to her death she was full of energy. However within hours of removing the ventilator and giving her pain medication. She fell into unconsciousness and began to breathe in singular breaths with a sigh at the end.
Finally she past around 12:30am on the 19th of August. She didn't get to go home instead she died at the hospital. Not even getting to see her beloved dog Lee, however she did get to see her grandson(my son) | am so thankful she did. Sadly it would be her last time seeing him ever. That's pretty much my mom's story...
There are bits and pieces I left out but for a reason. She smoked a lot despite cancer loved to have a beer and drove all over! She also had a thing for horror movies! Collecting every single one she liked and always gave budget movies a chance!! In ending | love you mom and I still have yet to cry. I don't know why I'm not bawling my eyes out but I'm okay.
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u/Inertiaraptor 4d ago
I’m very sorry for what’s happened, to her, to your family. Your writing is a lovely tribute to her.
Give yourself space to grieve. It’s a process, and it’s definitely not a straight line. There aren’t stages, and there are no rules on how to do it. Most likely, you are still in emotional shock, and soldiering on in your new normal. For a lot of people, when the pain and the crying come, it’s later and over something simple, and it all comes out. Others don’t emote at all, finding peace in letting go. There is no right way.
Your words imply a great love, that’s what matters in remembering people, sharing who they were so they can live on. Give yourself some space, and kindness. You’re going through something that nobody including yourself can explain or understand yet.
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u/cameron4200 4d ago
It’ll hit eventually. And even if it doesn’t. Everyone processes grief differently. If it means anything to you it was nice to read your story and reminded me of my own mom. I’m sorry for your loss.
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u/cemeteryxdriven 4d ago
Whatever horror movie I wind up watching tonight, I’m watching it with her in mind. Her story is a powerful one, what an amazing woman to go down fighting so hard. Sending love to you and yours.
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u/Ok_Combination_2764 3d ago
Rest in peace, power and infinite love to your mama. Thank you for sharing her with us.
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u/valadon-valmore 4d ago
Sounds like she was someone who truly loved life but wasn't afraid to look death in the face. We should all aspire to be like her.
I'm so sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing ✨💖
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u/spacegirl2820 4d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. Mum sounds like a very strong and determined woman. Rest in peace 🕊️
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u/Tumbled61 3d ago
She had so many cancer battles and illnesses I hope she and family can take comfort that she is no longer in suffering.
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u/sleepygoguma 4d ago
She sounds like a wonderful person. Loss is hard, especially when it's someone so close to us. Grief isn't the same from person to person and even with each loss we experience. You're still trying to come to terms with such a tremendous pain. Just remember, just because you haven't seen the rain doesn't mean there's no storm. My heart goes out to you. Losing a parent is one of the most heartbreaking things we can go through.
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u/ideactive_ 3d ago
Not trying to make this all about me but ive never cried to a relative's passing. My uncle died last month of cancer, i went to his funeral but i couldnt cry or anything, i just felt emotionless, however i was definitely sad. I feel like not crying is also common, its a response that you will give unconsciously. I think that the death of a loved one sometimes wont be all simplified into tears, sometimes you just have no response and thats alright. Sorry for your mom, the fact that she had to deal with cancer that many times alone is insane
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u/Reddit_Username200 3d ago
RIP to your mom, she sounds cool AF, definitely would be down to watch horror movies with her!
We all grieve differently and while you may not cry now (or perhaps ever), that’s OK. It doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t mean you’re cold, you’re heartless, it just means we all process our emotions differently. The important thing to remember is to grieve at YOUR own pace. Don’t rush yourself. I think as a person in my late 30s, my generation was taught to never show emotions, “tough it up buttercup”, and that crushed me. It wasn’t until 2019 when my psyche told me “you are allowed to cry. You are allowed to show emotions. You set the boundaries”, that it clicked. Your feelings are justified regardless what others say. Thanks for sharing your mom with us, she’s pretty badass.
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u/oldmanbelly 3d ago
I’m really sorry for your loss. I said goodbye to my mom the same way in 2024. Miss her. Don’t be afraid to take some extra time for yourself.
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u/EntertainerAlone1300 2d ago
As a fellow smoker (I know) and horror film lover I think she sounds like an absolute diamond🩷 love to you and yours x
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u/LtPowell 21h ago
RIP to your mom. As an ICU nurse myself, she made the right decision. No use in letting people suffer.
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u/elmaki2014 4d ago
Sorry for your loss. Find a happy picture of her and hold it in your heart. Remember her happy. She's now free of pain, fear and beyond our reach. Until you meet again x much love ❤️
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u/JustGingerYT 1h ago
Thank you for sharing this with us OP, Your mother was a fighter till the end, I'm so sorry and my condolences to you and your family.
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u/Cloudfloater44 4d ago
Thanks for sharing with us! She sounds like she was a wonderful woman! I love horror movies too and I always give budget films a chance also lol! May she rest in peace and be in your heart filled with memories and love forever!
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u/XelaNiba 3d ago
Your mom sounds cool AF, like someone I'd love to have for a friend. I'm so sorry she didn't have more time on this earth. I'd love to know her name and a favorite memory if you'd like to share.
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u/atsprplx 4d ago
I am so sorry. My deepest condolences on the loss of your mother. Thank you for sharing her with us.