r/lies • u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor • Sep 12 '24

I’m an immigrant. This is one of my favorite recipes to cook for my family.

10.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

163 comments sorted by

592

u/justs0mecat 100 IQ bwig bain 🧠 ⬆️🧅 Sep 12 '24

Looks yummy😋

264

u/grateful-smile Sep 12 '24

Wtf, He charred it and you think it looks yummy?

158

u/justs0mecat 100 IQ bwig bain 🧠 ⬆️🧅 Sep 12 '24

Yup, I LOVE eating charred food and increase my odds of getting cancer😉

49

u/MrPoposcumdumpster Sep 12 '24

OMG! Our star signs are so close! You're Cancerous and I'm Virgin!

8

u/anukii IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 Sep 13 '24

Omg I have Aquarium Moon 🥹💖

10

u/NanoCat0407 Peter Griffin Sep 13 '24

I’m a Caprisun

8

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '24

I'm a pisser

2

u/wstrfrg65 Sep 14 '24

I'm Yemeni!

9

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 21 '24

[deleted]

1

u/grateful-smile Sep 12 '24

Yeah, I have. Tastes awful.

2

u/TourAlternative364 Sep 12 '24

Yah a bit burned at the end.

2

u/McConagher Sep 13 '24

Dude, that's just texan brisket

2

u/Mad_Magz Sep 13 '24

I agree, he way overcooked that. It’s ruined.

2

u/flargenhargen Sep 13 '24

cajun kittun

1

u/CanoninDeeznutz Sep 12 '24

That's why you gotta take it off the heat when it's still orange, let the carryover heat finish cooking.

543

u/CrestfallenDemiurge Sep 12 '24

I’m also an immigrant and they performed a sex change operation on me

338

u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

They did this to my husband yesterday. She is now my beautiful wife.

144

u/ARKON_THE_ARKON Girl spelled backwards is liar 🙃 Sep 12 '24

I'm so ashamed of her 😒😒😒

81

u/Birdinmotion Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

31

u/Birdinmotion Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

5

u/Flammenkaempfer Sep 13 '24

Dementia

4

u/Aggressive-Jacket477 Sep 13 '24

What?

3

u/ARKON_THE_ARKON Girl spelled backwards is liar 🙃 Sep 13 '24

My name is

1

u/accountsupport69 Sep 15 '24

Everywhere at the end of time

32

u/elmahir Sep 12 '24

Prison truly changes you in many ways

24

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

But are you an alien? 👽

25

u/CrestfallenDemiurge Sep 12 '24

Obviously, every immigrant is a trans alien

6

u/Illustrious-Radio-55 Sep 13 '24

Big if true

1

u/literallysoulless Still cis tho 😎 Sep 13 '24

Small if true

6

u/Illustrious-Radio-55 Sep 13 '24

They only do that on aliens silly.

2

u/Zombie_Overlord556 Sep 13 '24

He must be an immigrant from another planet then

1

u/tyrome123 Sep 13 '24

can confirm im the Xenomorph and i have big fat titties now from the sex change operation in prison

2

u/EmpiricalPierce Sep 13 '24

Did you get a cool tattoo while in transition prison?

2

u/Awesomesauceme Sep 13 '24

My nephew done got transed

276

u/DramaticDemand3150 Sep 12 '24

Why did you burn the food?

248

u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

My children like it a little crunchy.

8

u/Inthaneon Custom User Flair Sep 13 '24

Your children have good taste and can definitely be trusted to judge the quality of food

15

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/DramaticDemand3150 Sep 12 '24

I’m not disrespectful they burnt that dog

136

u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Professional AI Lover ❤️ Sep 12 '24

ahhh blackened cat. a family favorite. good call on the wok too, pans just dont do the dish justice.

18

u/etranger033 Sep 12 '24

8

u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Professional AI Lover ❤️ Sep 12 '24

Finger licking good

105

u/thanksforreadingbro Sep 12 '24

Calling bullshit. There was definitely no seasoning added and we all know which culture cooks like that.

116

u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

You got me. I'm a British immigrant.

30

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

Ugh. I’m tired of all these British people bringing their knives making me feel like the asshole for gunning them down on sight.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '24

[deleted]

2

u/_ldkWhatToWrite Sep 14 '24

Expats are immigrants.

1

u/Fnaf-Low-3469 Sep 18 '24

/ul technically a good portion of Americans are descendants of British immigrants

8

u/Maria_506 Sep 12 '24

Migrant from Europe?

10

u/RevoOps Sep 12 '24

The continent that conquered half the world in their pursuit of spices?

15

u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

We didn’t wanna eat them. We just thought they were neat.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

Gun Always been

2

u/ThePotatoFromIrak Sep 13 '24

You can't be a white immigrant that's called an expat

53

u/Subject_Survey8703 Sep 12 '24

do you know how to cook dog too?

58

u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

Oh yes dogs are very plentiful in my neighborhood! I am very grateful. Saves me a lot of grocery money.

14

u/niftystopwat Sep 12 '24

COOK YOUR OWN DOG?!

No child should be made to do that….

Dogs should be RAW… and LIVING!

1

u/Bootcat228 Custom User Flair Sep 13 '24

do you like eating dogs alive? I don't because that's kinda gross... cooked ones taste better for a couple of reasons:
1. they're warm
2.

67

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

They are eating the dogs. Their eating the cats. Their eating the pets! 😭

This is reprehensible!

37

u/LeopoldFriedrich Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

I trust you about that, you surely tell the truth, but do you have a valid source?

30

u/Natural-Ability Sep 12 '24

Someone on TV said it!

14

u/LeopoldFriedrich Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

yeah that checks out

16

u/EatAndGreet Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

The very best source. They saw it on television.

1

u/Eternal_grey_sky Sep 23 '24

Source: The president

3

u/JustSomeM0nkE Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

Wes de sauce?!!💢💢💢

15

u/HiddenPants777 Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

I like eating dogs better

15

u/Nirvski Sep 12 '24

This is disgusting....dogs taste much better

9

u/Every-Arugula723 Sep 12 '24

If you eat cats you'll achieve enlightenment

12

u/nl-x Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

I'm actually allergic to cats.

6

u/Ok_Pickle76 Sep 12 '24

You burned the food

5

u/_Gboom Sep 12 '24

This isn't adorable don't send me the og video pls

5

u/Content-Scallion-591 Sep 12 '24

I hate animals, so how roughly they handed these kittens for a stupid meme video didn't bother me at all

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Content-Scallion-591 Sep 13 '24

That doesn't make me feel better at all!

5

u/Ranoma_I Custom User Flair Sep 13 '24

Yummers

3

u/Awesomesauceme Sep 13 '24

As an immigrant, I think dog meat is far superior. I snatched a puppy from my neighbor’s yard in Springfield and it was a DELICACY! Maybe Trump would see where we’re coming from is someone made him a dog meat casserole.

3

u/zyarelol Sep 12 '24

Believe it or not; 1 cat and 3 different colors of spray paint were used in the making of this video.

3

u/Similar_Tough_7602 Sep 13 '24

I have serious ethical problems with this. Eating kittens is immoral and quite frankly disgusting. We should only be eating adult cats

2

u/RevoOps Sep 12 '24

Uhh so authentic! I will pay $150 per person for this unique ethnic experience.

2

u/JustSomeM0nkE Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

This recipe changes the cat generosità and race too, this can't more woke😡🍅🍅🍅, #MAGA(magestic anal gspot assault)

2

u/Fluffy_Cat_5174 IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 Sep 12 '24

you burnt it >:(

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '24

[deleted]

1

u/PyroChild221 Sep 13 '24

I eat em out 🗿

2

u/krismitka Sep 13 '24

I bet you run a dog woking service too.

2

u/SaladSlayer1201 Sep 13 '24

After the debate, this aged well

2

u/anukii IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 Sep 13 '24

Kitten went in unseasoned, SMH! 😭🤣

1

u/SeveralTable3097 Sep 12 '24

I prefer making them into tacos > stir fry

1

u/giltprism Sep 12 '24

Do you happen to be an alien too?

1

u/Awesomesauceme Sep 13 '24

Straight from Mars

1

u/Brilliant-Aide9245 Sep 12 '24

You left it on too long

1

u/Average-boy-enjoyer Reddit Admin Enthusiast Sep 12 '24

/ul u/savevideo

1

u/HammingZaza Tax payer 🤑 Sep 12 '24

I hate you

1

u/jimmylovescheese123 Law abiding redditor Sep 12 '24

I personally eat them whole but whatever floats your boat.

1

u/LukkaLol Sep 12 '24

Please help me I've been kidnapped by a bald white man who has been feeding me this! I'm at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104!

1

u/ChanceImagination456 Sep 12 '24

He overcooked it!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

Who made this a dog

1

u/Jiggle_deez Sep 12 '24

This isn't funny

1

u/etranger033 Sep 12 '24

Oh thats bad. This kind of shit is going to haunt these people for at least a week if not longer.

1

u/redditorroshan Sep 12 '24

OMG I love politics

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '24

no salt or any spices? not gonna taste good

1

u/KingoftheWildlings Sep 12 '24

Ahh one of my favorites. blackened psst-psst

1

u/aniterrn Sep 12 '24

Casual race equality

1

u/PuzzleheadedTry6507 Sep 12 '24

Some people eat cats in Haiti but they stop when they come to the US

1

u/Dramatic_Option_6650 Sep 12 '24

I busted out laughing! Loved it

1

u/castrateurfate Sep 12 '24

on no your burneded him :(

1

u/Waste_Solid889 Sep 12 '24

Sorry not funny

1

u/Rs_MiniGamer Sep 12 '24

Pushing a cats face and head around that is pretty messed up

1

u/Brandon_M_Gilbertson Sep 13 '24

Noooo you burned it now you’ll have to get another one :(

1

u/StaygSane Sep 13 '24

This is the video Trump saw

1

u/Impressive-Step290 Sep 13 '24

That's an American dish, blackened cat

1

u/Flammenkaempfer Sep 13 '24

My mom made this yesterday, I exploded after I eated it

1

u/wisdomelf Sep 13 '24

You burnt it

1

u/Aimlessdrifter8778 IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 Sep 13 '24

Damn you overcooked the wunkus

1

u/Civil_Drag_9129 Sep 13 '24

Haitian stir fry

1

u/TomCat2709 Law abiding redditor Sep 13 '24

hi im also an alien gnarp gnarp (feminine now)

1

u/Temporary-Narwhal-29 Sep 13 '24

I recognize that pan. It's from Springfield.

1

u/ProperPerspective571 Sep 13 '24

This needs to be sent to Trump

1

u/Teesside-Tyrant Sep 13 '24

Ah man I told you to take it off the heat two minutes ago. It's burnt now!

1

u/Dapper-Percentage-64 Sep 13 '24

Oh man . We call that the Vance at our house

1

u/coneishome Sep 13 '24

Exactly: The real connaisseur likes them charred!

1

u/SonoDarke Sep 13 '24

Dude you ruined the food, it's all burnt now

1

u/Hansarelli138 Sep 13 '24

Also heard.there is more.thsn one way to wok a dog.hahahha

1

u/Ramps_ Sep 13 '24

You burnt it, you donkey! It's done when it's completely gold-brown!

1

u/Serg_Molotov Sep 13 '24

Overcooked and under-seasoned.

3/5

1

u/Inferior_Jeans Sep 13 '24

Schools are safe in America. No need to worry about children. Must focus on pets. Yes. Pets won’t take away my boom booms.

1

u/JayeNBTF Sep 13 '24

How to wok your cat?

1

u/Herakleswolf Sep 14 '24

You didn’t burn it at all

1

u/Zo0kplays Sep 14 '24

by any chance do you live in springfield

1

u/Excellent-Big-2295 Sep 14 '24

Soooo…CR-5????

1

u/legotavi Professional AI Lover ❤️ Sep 14 '24

u/savevideo

1

u/Educational_Chest594 Sep 28 '24

This is not what Trump thinks Asians eat

1

u/_alter-ego_ Sep 30 '24

you don't mix in some dogs? other pets?

1

u/Anjemivas_ Law abiding redditor Sep 30 '24

Me2

-2

u/nopenopechem Sep 13 '24

This shows none of you have ever been to Haiti. Having done christian service there, i can tell you that they eat ANY animal they get their hands on because of how poor they are. Don’t be ignorant assholes and make fun of their situation

3

u/PyroChild221 Sep 13 '24

This is a place for true facts only