r/linguisticshumor 5d ago

Historical Linguistics new theory just dropped

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1.8k Upvotes

56 comments sorted by

501

u/PlatinumAltaria [!WARNING!] The following statement is a joke. 5d ago

The two genders: Albanian and Serb.

82

u/Superior_Mirage 5d ago

I knew I shouldn't missed that lecture in Latin.

330

u/ReasonableHawk1844 5d ago

"Dr."

162

u/S-2481-A 5d ago

I love how passive aggressive that was lol. The page's author must've been Albanian.

22

u/hazardous_lazarus 5d ago

Not necessarily. Us Serbs think of him as a clown as well.

286

u/algebroni 5d ago

Imagine being the normal historian Jovan Deretić (b. 1934 in Orovac, d. 2002 in Belgrade) knowing your batshit doppelganger Jovan Deretić (b. 1939 in Orovac, d. 2021 in Belgrade) is out there destroying your name by being a caricature of a Serbian nationalist?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donji_Orahovac,_Trebinje

140

u/Ipponjudo 5d ago

Bro literally has an evil twin from the same village that's crazy

43

u/Nenazovemy Último Napoleão 5d ago

Maybe an evil distant cousin and the family has a St. John as patron saint?

30

u/SpaceCadet_Cat 5d ago

Maybe not even distant. Family reunions would be fun to witness...

27

u/Nenazovemy Último Napoleão 5d ago

— You're making me sound like a clown! — Well, you're making me sound like a Š***ar mole! Your fans will find out who you're working for on my next book.

5

u/borninthewaitingroom 4d ago

There's an interesting phenomenon where if you think and think your head reaches a centripetal force that leads to a curved path orthogonal to the body that releases it and then from the gravitational pull and into the nirvational truth of ..... Well, you can see for yourself. Next month, I'm leading a pilgrimage to Donji Orovac. Any takers? Last month we went Ludbreg, the Centar of the World, discovered by Rudolf Steiner. https://maps.app.goo.gl/oUaaTZWZFU3MbdAe8

109

u/KastIvegkonto 5d ago

Nationalists from the Balkans are unintentionally the funniest people alive

37

u/hongooi 5d ago

14

u/Doodjuststop /fʊk ɔːf/ means I love you in dutch 5d ago

all because of a reddit admin's power trip mane

82

u/Nenazovemy Último Napoleão 5d ago

"Megalomaniac" flattens the diversity of unhinged.

43

u/d-aurita 5d ago

(except Albanians) is the icing on the cake

38

u/Latvian_Sharp_Knife 5d ago

i thought i was in thomastheplankengine for a moment

62

u/rexcasei 5d ago

What does it mean “hidden in the name of the Vatican”?

50

u/WeidaLingxiu 5d ago

It's a sound change where if you take /b/ > /v/ and then... uh.... like... maybe like /t/ > /s/ and then use metathesis or.... Idk man I'm spit-balling here.

49

u/rexcasei 5d ago

ВАТИЦАН is actually Serbian for “we are all Serbs, except Albanians”

36

u/Antique-Ad-9081 5d ago

the vatican ordered the hiding

24

u/Elktopcover 5d ago

Not again! All conspiracies lead back to the Vatican somehow, just as all languages lead back to basque

15

u/rexcasei 5d ago

I interpreted it at first as like, within the letters of VATICAN you somehow can spell a pertinent Serbian word that reveals the conspiracy

But “in the name of…” would imply that someone else did it for the Vatican’s sake, not the Vatican itself, or else you’d just say “by”

And what benefit would it be to Roman Catholics to hide the fact that all non-Albanian Indo-Europeans are Serbs?

12

u/FreeRandomScribble 5d ago

You wouldn’t understand our enlightened ways. haughty sniff

6

u/Vessel767 5d ago

The premise doesn’t even make sense, what does it even mean for all Indo-Europeans to be Serbs, this is more detached from reality than Nazism

29

u/ramzisalmani 5d ago

Balkan nationalism is really embarrassing like this is just cartoonish lol

1

u/AndreasDasos 1d ago

This flavour is popular in Eastern Europe in general, I find.

Plus the Middle East, South Asia…

24

u/ViscountBuggus 5d ago

Average Balkan historian

20

u/Arcaeca2 /qʷ’/-pilled Pontic-cel in my ejective Caucasuscore arc 5d ago

According to Deretić, prior to the conquests of Alexander the Great, there lived an even more-accomplished conqueror named Serbon Makeridov, who was "father of all nations" and that "all of his descendants, or rather all known peoples, have Serbian origin".

Ah yes, so great and accomplished that literally nobody has ever heard of him

9

u/Kang_Xu 5d ago

Yeah, right? Alexander who?

5

u/FloZone 4d ago

At least the Russian "New-Historians" use Vladimir the Great, who is at least a historical person. IIRC they say most ancient kings and conquerors like Alexander, Caesar and so on were in fact Vladimir the Great.

16

u/[deleted] 5d ago

Why are they always engineers?

37

u/Ebok_Noob 5d ago

Fact*

15

u/t-licus 5d ago

God is a Serb

13

u/Baroness_VM 5d ago

Conservapedia?

27

u/Imaginary-Space718 5d ago

24

u/Nuppusauruss 5d ago

That was explains it. I wondered why the language in this article was so strong and why it has been allowed to exist in Wikipedia. Not that I agree with the guy that the article is talking about, but the language is clearly biased and not within the standards of Wikipedia.

18

u/bherH-on 5d ago

Oh that shithole

1

u/MaxTHC 5d ago

Dunno much about rationalwiki but I doubt it's quite as bad as conservapedia

4

u/CornginaFlegemark 5d ago

Conservapedia is a parody of rationalwiki

11

u/vokzhen 5d ago

Conservapedia is not a parody. Unfortunately.

5

u/Baroness_VM 5d ago

I honestly thought it was fully serious, it just seemed right

2

u/MaxTHC 5d ago

God how I wish this were the case

6

u/R3cl41m3r 5d ago

Nationalists gonna nationalist.

6

u/theworsethebetter99 4d ago

Deretić was one of the funniest people I have ever watched. He would say the most battshit insane thing you have heard with a completely straight face. He claimed that Jesus preached in Serbian. That the Serbs taught the Jews how to write. That Swedish is just sliced up Serbian. That King Arthur was the Commander of the Serbian cavalry. That Portugal was Serbonia. So many good quotes.

https://youtu.be/T3dFQD20914?si=oLzR9YS6wmbeIOR7

This is my favorite interview.

3

u/anarcho-balkan 5d ago

Dear fucking god, I hate this guy.

He's like an even more deranged version of my conspiracy theorist uncle and with a much larger media presence (and whatever media presence my uncle has, he at least has the good sense to not use for the conspiracy theories he believes in, but for music, children's cartoons and animatics he made)

5

u/Express_Pressure_548 5d ago

Okay wtf did I just read???

Also, love the fact that they wrote "dr." in those quotation marks lol.

4

u/an-font-brox 4d ago

deretic can be a new insult, it’s perfect

3

u/ry0shi 4d ago

Same energy as "adam and eve were actually kyrgyz"

2

u/OsamaMoloy 3d ago

“All Indo-Europeans (except Albanians) are Serbs” This had me cracking up! 😭😭😭😭😭

1

u/Grzechoooo 3d ago

He's correct provided you replace "S" with "L" and "rb" with "chite".

/j

1

u/zylvor 3d ago

I know RationalWiki when I see it

1

u/AndreasDasos 1d ago

(Except for the neighbouring group they’ve historically hated the most)

Eastern European nationalism is exhausting sometimes.

1

u/NichtFBI 21h ago

I would like to understand what motives he thought they had for doing this. Most things can be debunked for a lack of motive.

1

u/Niauropsaka 5d ago

The Srbs are so embarrassing