r/lungcancer • u/RoomEquivalent1 • 8d ago
Mom is half delirious
Man, I really want to run away. I’m going to lose my composure. I can’t tell if my mom is lucid or not - she prob has some delirium. She’s been accusing me of being an ingrate (and other nasty names). Shes been insisting she wants to go home and doesn’t want treatment anymore. I mean yes that matches what she wanted before she became a bit delirious, but now I’m not sure bc she was the one who wanted to keep treating too…my dad has already lost his shit multiple times. I’m so tired, but can’t sleep bc mom would wake me up and demand some things like a child (well can’t help with that when you are end stage). My dad is gonna lose his shit again when he gets here. Like legit the nurses noticed how he’s speaking for mom. And I’m stuck in the middle
Doctor says he’s comfortable discharging her today but just needs to arrange transport. I think my dad wants hospice facility but mom wants to go home. She keeps saying she wants the wheelchair. I’m so tired. But I can’t even complain because my dad has been dealing with this for three days straight and I just one. I just want to sleep on a bed. I woke up at 7 yesterday and spent the whole day stressed out trying to get to her. She thinks everyone including me wants her to die. Sigh
2
u/JustDenise 7d ago
I am so sorry you are going through this and I know how difficult it is to be where you are. My husband died last July from SCLC after a 21 month battle. He was transferred to inpatient hospice after a four 24 hour days awake with terminal agitation. I was not prepared for that at all. I was however very blessed with great palliative and hospice nurses. They took such good care of us. The medications were delivered to our door same day. Sometimes as late as midnight. They made sure I had enough. Unfortunately my husband could just power through all of them.
Then in June my ex husband of 26 years and father of my children was placed on hospice care but was unable to qualify for inpatient so I brought him to my home. (He had colon cancer since 2020 that metastasized throughout his abdomen.) For 10 days we supported him as he passed peacefully in his sleep.
As hard as the decision is to leave them impatient or bring them home the reality is it can go fast or slow just remember these will be your last memories and her last memories. Your father is right to be scared and all you can do is support him the best way you can.
I wish you strength and peace. 🤍🤍