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u/ih8reddithdjsk 12h ago
This actually made my skin crawl when I read it.
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u/Corrupted_Monke 11h ago
This guy did OP à favour in the end by taking his toxic ass out of their life. (The cheating is still awful I’m sorry this happened)
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u/FleurCannon_ 12h ago
sweet guys wouldn't cheat regardless idk what's he on about
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u/CrazyPoiPoi 8h ago
Also, a real sweet guy wouldn't call himself that. He would, if at all, just say that he is doing nothing special.
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u/TeaTimeAtThree 7h ago
Generally I would say that people that are something don't need to say it aloud for people to recognize it.
The worst customers at my old job would start their verbal assaults with "I'm a good customer!"
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u/Kitsunin 6h ago
I used to identify as a nice guy. Being nice as a guy was something I considered important to my identity.
I was actually kind of a dick then. Now being nice is just something I do. It's just as important but it's not self-serving.
...it's hard to explain without sounding a bit full of shit though. But yeah, I look at who I was when I called myself "nice" and I cringe.
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u/64557175 8h ago
Naw, I recognize that I'm a sweet guy. But I definitely don't blame others for my actions, that's not our territory!
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u/HutPlayer 8h ago
r / niceguys
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u/64557175 7h ago
Ok, I'll check it out later
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u/feartheoldblood90 7h ago
This comment chain is sending me
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u/64557175 3h ago
It's kind of funny to me that there is this blanket ideology that in order to be a good person you need to appear to be blind to the effort it takes. As if all people who are kind are naturally that way or have to be invisible or silent about it and I think that's harmful.
I have worked hard to be a sweet person. It takes a lot of reservation to not just go into what might feel good or be advantageous. And on that note that you must be silent on good deeds to be humble. I don't brag about good deeds but I don't hide them or pretend I'm not doing good things in my community. I think being open and visible while doing good is a great way to influence others and uplift your area as long as you don't advertise for self aggrandizing purposes.
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u/feartheoldblood90 2h ago
I agree that it takes effort to be kind, sometimes, and that we should be more open about that fact, but I also think you fundamentally missed the point of the niceguys subreddit, which is about people being performatively kind, and usually turning out to be the opposite of kind when actually tested.
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u/TheCatDeedEet 6h ago
It’s like if someone ever asks themselves or someone else “am I a narcissist?” Or “am I a bad person?” They are almost guaranteed not to be. Worry about your impact on people and wanting the best for people is where that comes from.
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u/Road_Whorrior 7h ago
My first ex wasn't even sweet and he had the "good grace" (heavy quotes here, this fucked me UP) to dump me five minutes BEFORE fucking her. And then he told me "oh it was just a break" and we got back together for six more months. Tl;dr: don't be sixteen, ever
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u/Tarelerion 6h ago
Noted -a 15yo
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u/Road_Whorrior 6h ago
Eh, I exaggerate. You'll be fine. I'm 30 now and survived. Try not to take things too seriously that young is what I wish I'd known. The HS boyfriend probably won't last, you won't know these people outside of whatever curated horseshit they put up on social media in 10-15 years. Just be real and try not to beat yourself up over stuff that won't matter once you're out of high school.
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u/FleurCannon_ 6h ago
i'm sorry this happened to you. he didn't deserve you. you are a piece of art but he was blind.
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u/GodivasAunt 5h ago
In a text, no doubt. He must've watched Ross & Rachel that week.... Wish you would've been able to tell him, "Oh babe, no need to explain. I was taking our break with my new love! Bye! It's been...!" (Even if you were lying!)
Some things just take time for us to achieve & overcome ... & you did!!
PS. Only saw that show when was on reruns at midnight or later. I realized why I never watched it & other insomniac shows when they were on prime time.
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u/Burntoastedbutter 7h ago
Yeah sweet guys would just quietly leave and quietly question their life choices ...
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u/moobsarenotboobs BLACK 12h ago
Is he giving you a gaslighting masterclass?
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u/CpuJunky I mean, c'mon 12h ago
"You made me do it"
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u/DreadPiratteRoberts 11h ago
".. what, do you think it makes me happy to be like this!!?"
"This is all on you!"
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u/Playful-Actuary6022 12h ago
The lion does not concern itself with the flaws of being the sweetest guy.
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u/xXShadxw_HunxrXx 11h ago
Thats not really gaslighting. He shifting the blame on the other partner, but thats not gaslighting
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u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 9h ago
"Don't you remember you told me over and over that it was your fault I cheated? You're always doing this!" There, now it's gaslighting :p
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u/xXShadxw_HunxrXx 8h ago
No thats still not gaslighting. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that lets the victim question his own reason/sanity.
Your example is still just plain lying
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u/Coral_Blue_Number_2 5h ago
As a mental health therapist, their example could absolutely be a part of a gaslighting process. Telling somebody they don’t remember something correctly, telling them they are always forgetting crucial information, implying that they can’t trust themself because they get everything wrong.
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u/Cook_your_Binarys 8h ago
What are you talking about. Gaslighting is not a thing. Did you not drink enough water today?
/s just in case
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u/reddish4radish 11h ago
A cheater classic! It's not my responsibility because you pushed me into it! Now wait for his friends and family to tell you that you also played 'your role' in this situation.
All the best to you, OP. Sometimes, life can get really difficult.
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u/64557175 8h ago
My ex told me I "drove her to do it" like yeah bitch because you lost your license from a DUI!
Also then it turned out it wasn't the first time, she was just a serial cheater.
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u/Human_After 7h ago
Oh lordy
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u/64557175 7h ago
Yeah, I'm glad that one is no longer in my life.
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u/Human_After 7h ago
For me she had the guy come pick her up from my house telling me it was her grandma. She very clearly didn’t want me looking out the window as she left so i did. Bitch that is not your fucking grandma 🤣
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u/64557175 7h ago
Jesus, that's audacious
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u/Human_After 7h ago
Yours seems worse. But she coulda told him not to pull into the driveway 🤣
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u/Alloc14 6h ago
Shockingly, my cheating ex had nobody on her side after word finally got out to all of us what she was doing. Even her parents were putting the hate on her and taking my side for it. I was expecting the opposite, especially since they were always strict and hard on me. So there are exceptions every now and again.
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u/CpuJunky I mean, c'mon 12h ago
Beep... Beep... Beep. That's the garbage truck backing up to dump that dude. I hope the garbage pile doesn't top over considering how full of himself he is.
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u/Wicked__6 13h ago
From this short text you can almost count the exact number of Little League games his mommy missed.
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u/JustSomeApparition 13h ago
All of them, me thinks. I doubt even she had the stomach to be around such nonsense.
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u/J0EMEGA 11h ago
I don't think enough people realize just how easy it is to NOT cheat on your partner. This dude is a turd and a half
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u/CreaminCranker 8h ago
Unless you're the sweetest guy ever, in which case it's just a thing that can happen to you against your will.
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u/Loud_Interview4681 7h ago
Like UGH its so annoying when all I'm doing is reading the morning paper on the bed at a friend house and suddenly were like both naked and fucking!? I just want to be left alone, what am I supposed to do? Be a rude guest? Not my fault, honestly wouldn't even be here if you weren't so
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u/Coral_Blue_Number_2 5h ago
I can’t believe she took his poonis and put it in another woman’s vergubna 😔
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u/whatdoblindpeoplesee 6h ago
I literally had a dream last night where some women who were not my wife were trying to get me into bed and all I could think about was how I was married and it didn't matter if it was in a dream it still felt wrong.
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u/Artistic_Ad4753 12h ago
I always blame others when I do something stupid it's the correct way to behave.
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u/headspin_exe 12h ago
The gaslighting lamp is lit, bright as fuck tonight. Wow. Hopefully that douchebag is single as of the posting.
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u/King_Six_of_Things 11h ago
Ah, victim blaming. A tried and true method for the narcissistic abuser.
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u/satanic_black_metal_ 12h ago
She turned me into a cheater? But i dont even know her nor do i cheat in relationship.
Ooooooh he means videogames? Yea i cheat in those! Only in single player ones tho.
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u/Therashser BLACK 11h ago
Best rid of this specimen, they'll lead a life of it never being them and their toxic behaviour.
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u/Zestyclose-Tour-6350 9h ago
In my experience, 99.99% of self proclaimed "nice guys" actually SUCK and aren't nice guys at all
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u/L-Lawlieteatsweets 4h ago
Yeah I've also had this with people who called themselves empaths. More like narcissists pretending to be nice
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u/amy-schumer-tampon 8h ago
Textbook narcissism, their fuck ups are always someone else's fault.
RUN!
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u/Wolfgirl2929 8h ago
Not only a cheater but a gaslighting narcissist too😂 this dude thinks too highly of himself
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u/HuanFranThe1st 10h ago
“you turned the sweetest guy ever into a cheater”
Holy fucking shit HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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u/Illustrious-Ad-6165 7h ago
Cheaters never hold accountability, they really never think anything wrong they do is actually their fault or doing
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u/DistortedTalkingTree 7h ago
Gaslighting and then gargling your own balls at the same time is diabolical
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u/zehamberglar 7h ago
This might actually be the most narcissistic thing that one could possibly say. I genuinely can't think of how to improve upon this. It's perfect.
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u/baugustine812 7h ago
This is not normal cope, this is Advanced Cope! Rationalizing shitty behavior by blaming the victim is a pro-level strat.
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u/midoriiro 5h ago
he was in fact, not the sweetest guy ever.
and it's quite possible he was never eligible for such a title at any point of his existence.
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u/dfjdejulio 5h ago
I dated someone who literally ended up in a mental institution. Still never cheated, ever.
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u/Impossible-Music-382 3h ago edited 2h ago
Reminds me of my "straight" ex bf who blamed me for being insecure in his sexuality and cheating on me with men.
It's so stupid and ridiculous that even they know they're full of shit. They are just trying to do anything but accept it.
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u/AmadeoSendiulo 12h ago