r/mildlyinfuriating • u/ok-Isuser • 2d ago

lol

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original - by sunsetcolaa

u/sunset_colaa

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u/xXShadxw_HunxrXx 1d ago

No thats still not gaslighting. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that lets the victim question his own reason/sanity.

Your example is still just plain lying

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u/Coral_Blue_Number_2 1d ago

As a mental health therapist, their example could absolutely be a part of a gaslighting process. Telling somebody they don’t remember something correctly, telling them they are always forgetting crucial information, implying that they can’t trust themself because they get everything wrong.

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u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 1d ago

I understand that. If you tear down someone's ability to trust their memory it will lead to that. I guess I could have added fabricating evidence that they did, in fact, say or act in ways they don't believe, but I thought the intent was clear enough.

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u/sonofaresiii 1d ago

That's what it used to mean. A few years ago it "evolved" by being popularly adopted under a misunderstood meaning. But now that's just what it means.

But the OP still isn't gaslighting, because gaslighting's new usage is to just mean lying. The OP isn't lying, they're just being an asshole.

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u/IAMWastingMyTime 1d ago

You don't have to subscribe to new, worse meanings of words. You can keep using it correctly and help words keep their meaning. I swear half of the words people say that changed or mean something else than 10 years ago is just from people misusing the word repeatedly.

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u/sonofaresiii 1d ago

You don't have to subscribe to new, worse meanings of words. You can keep using it correctly and help words keep their meaning

Sorry no, that's not how language works.

half of the words people say that changed or mean something else than 10 years ago is just from people misusing the word repeatedly.

Yes, that IS exactly how language works.

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u/IAMWastingMyTime 1d ago

Sorry no, that's not how language works.

If people can "evolve" words, then we can also keep using their understood definition. Language doesn't work by communicating ideas clearly to each other?

Language should and does naturally evolve, I'm not arguing that. But I shouldn't be confused about what someone is saying because they decided to sound smart and use inaccurate wording.

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u/sonofaresiii 1d ago

then we can also keep using their understood definition

No, not really. Ah individual doesn't get to decide how the general public decodes their words. You can declare a word to mean a thing, but it's like Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy. It doesn't do anything.

Your logic also doesn't track. "If language works this way, then language also works however I say it does." No.

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u/IAMWastingMyTime 1d ago

Ah individual doesn't get to decide how the general public decodes their words.

Good point for not making up new definitions for words. Why would they expect me to know their new definition?

Language works whatever way it does, until it doesn't. Which could result from not communicating clearly, like by using words wrong(wrong not being a factual statement, but just nonoptimal for the audience's understanding).