r/mildlyinfuriating • u/redtitz1 • 4d ago

UPDATE: "I got a prostitutes old number"

[removed] — view removed post

4.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

204 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/multiple_possums 4d ago

NICE

453

u/redtitz1 4d ago

whats next ?

810

u/Ohheywhatsup897 4d ago

Might as well make an only fans for them to buy just for them to get rick rolled again

207

u/Oneangrygnome 4d ago

Damn. A burn that burns you twice. That’s some evil-genius kinda stuff.

Let’s hope you’re a good guy. Cause your villain arc would be scary.

1

u/Ohheywhatsup897 3d ago

I have way too much anxiety in me to be a villain, thankfully lolol

27

u/ViolinistMean199 4d ago

That’s fucking savage. You make like what $20 per sub and just rickroll

74

u/Empyrealist Does this look blue to you? 4d ago

Dick pics. Tell them you have completed your transition.

6

u/MatthewLilly 4d ago

Make it cheepish so they buy it then watch the free money potentially come in.

3

u/TrainOfThought6 4d ago

Careful though, this could get big enough that Rick's gotta wet his beak. There's potential here!

83

u/multiple_possums 4d ago

Send them your Venmo. After payment, block.

30

u/Snafu-ish 4d ago

lmao and no one would report getting scammed by a prostitute.

20

u/Jacobloveslsd 4d ago

Yea but it could put the actual women in danger.

12

u/Snafu-ish 4d ago

That’s true. These guys are probably the type that would go ape shit after getting ripped off.

8

u/Hot-Difficulty-6824 4d ago

Taking money means accepting a "contract", thus making you open to litigation... You don't wanna end up on the defense side of a "he/she refused to fuck after I paid" case... Too much complications

6

u/Sensitive-Abalone942 4d ago

legally, in jurisdictions where prostitution’s legal, it tends to be that the client is paying for the person’s time, not sex acts specifically. important detail, really - it means the ‘can withdraw consent at any time’ rape laws are never being overruled. each territory and locality is, of course its own, and worth individual investigation.

2

u/Hot-Difficulty-6824 4d ago

Never saw it that way, but yeah, consent is always important, but still has to be careful not to get sued for basically stolen money

1

u/Sensitive-Abalone942 4d ago

Yeah. It does open up fraud liability if he got any money from those guys. You’re right.

25

u/samuelgato 4d ago

"Why you mad bby? I would never let you down"

9

u/KnowledgePitiful8197 4d ago

"how much for full service"

14

u/Call__Me__David 4d ago

Find many pics or very well endowed guys and start sending them back to each request.

4

u/69edgy420 4d ago

Just a giant folder of them over mms so people using data will run out.

3

u/Call__Me__David 4d ago

Be sure to warn your s.o. though so if they come across the folder, they don't freak out.

12

u/Amplifiedsoul 4d ago

Schedule a few to meet all at the same time at a hotel bar. Say you have new security procedures and they need to order a Shirley Temple as a code to the bar tender. You can stand them up or even go and watch a few guys order for fun.

5

u/tomalakguy 4d ago

Please OP

2

u/Corgi_Lobster 4d ago

Meat spin is another classic

1

u/t0nine 4d ago

Sending them links of 2 girl 1 cup

1

u/sabretoothian 4d ago

Guarantee that may make a few of them even more perseverant

1

u/BarbaricBastard 4d ago

Extortion of course

1

u/No-Introduction3808 4d ago

Is there a mix of Rick & the pretty woman song?

1

u/OTee_D 4d ago

Create an AI avatar, create nudes and porn with those. profit

1

u/That_One_Gut 3d ago

Venmo make them partially prepay

-1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

Hmm… you have any opps?

2

u/Inevitable-Hope-6679 4d ago

Lmao this is the chaotic energy we need. Keep us posted on how many dudes fall for it

1

u/PaperCactus39 4d ago

Lmao this is the chaotic energy we need, keep us posted on how many fall for it

1

u/LavaFalcon45 4d ago

Lmao this is the chaotic good energy we need. Those dudes are gonna be so confused when they're expecting something spicy and get hit with Rick Astley instead

1

u/sabretoothian 4d ago

Nothing spicier than Rick

400

u/[deleted] 4d ago

Ask them if they can paint a fence or some house work

111

u/Jimmyg100 4d ago

If they say they want to do something fun, just tell them “T’ain’t nothing more fun than whitewashing Aunt Polly’s fence on a hot summer’s day!”

17

u/[deleted] 4d ago

Tip them in ice cream or popsicles

10

u/Jimmyg100 4d ago

No sir, do it right and they’ll be tipping you. Why you’ll be walking home with a whole mason jar of wooden dice, fishing yarn, and the best skipping stones this side of the Mississippi.

5

u/Eillon94 4d ago

I had a guy at work (who joined a few years AFTER me) who was constantly trying to tell me how to do my job. He wasnt mean about it, I think he was just cocky.

He would say that he was Tom Sawyer-ing me. But he worked really hard and never made me do anything for him. I genuinely dont think he understood the reference he was making

4

u/Jimmyg100 4d ago

If you're going to Tom Sawyer someone you never actually tell them you're Tom Sawyering them. That's like the first rule in Tom Sawyering.

2

u/oobey 4d ago

Nah, he wasn’t thinking about white washing no fences. He was all about getting by on you, invading spaces, getting high on you. That sort of Tom Sawyering.

1

u/Eillon94 4d ago

I have no idea what that means, but I enjoyed reading it

3

u/Jimmyg100 3d ago

You’ll also enjoy listening to it

1

u/Eillon94 3d ago

Oh lmao. Ive heard it, just had no idea what the lyrics were

2

u/Appropriate_Ad8572 4d ago

"T'ain't" 😏

11

u/HyperlinksAwakening 4d ago

paint a fence

337

u/Darkz_9234 4d ago

Have them all set up a ‘date’ sort of thing at a certain place of your choosing, tell them to meet you there, but don’t go. Send that to every single one, and wait until they all go to that location, basically meeting each other, and not you.

might work, might not, would be funny if it did

175

u/Low-Shallot-2817 4d ago

Could ask them each to bring the same item (stuffed animal, etc.). Maybe they'll all hit it off and become lifelong friends with the shared fondness of a certain prostitute.

33

u/Bakilas 4d ago

Such a meet-cute. 

12

u/Sad_Guitar_657 4d ago

Dick brothers 😏

6

u/JoshDM 4d ago

Could ask them each to bring the same item (stuffed animal, etc.).

No no.

Have them each bring a uniquely specified item and tell each to look for the person with some other you specified, and create a circle meet.

-24

u/PurposePurple4269 4d ago

why dude? just to make an innocent guy lose time?

8

u/Charming_Agent_9329 4d ago

🫩😢🥺

252

u/DudeNuukem 4d ago edited 4d ago

give them a number to call but the number is the local PD

Edit: or give them this number, it’s the number for the sex addicts anonymous hotline. 1-800-477-8191

-133

u/HAHAGASGSGAHAHHAHELP 4d ago

so 911?

100

u/The_Longbottom_Leaf 4d ago

911 is the US's universal emergency number, every police station has their own non-emergency number

-76

u/HAHAGASGSGAHAHHAHELP 4d ago

ok well is getting "service" illegal in every single area?

46

u/GruppBlimbo 4d ago

Yes

-65

u/HAHAGASGSGAHAHHAHELP 4d ago

nottttt true lol

30

u/Wooden-Bonus-2465 4d ago

Illegal everywhere in the US except a few parts of Nevada.

4

u/tiradium iAndroid 4d ago

Las Vegas?

16

u/Bearusaurelius 4d ago

No, I’m from vegas, it’s illegal there surprisingly, but is available in a county very close to vegas and one up near reno, but illegal in the major cities

-20

u/HAHAGASGSGAHAHHAHELP 4d ago

so not everywhere?

30

u/Wooden-Bonus-2465 4d ago

Hence the "except" part of my comment.

8

u/Karnadas 4d ago

Master Shake here was told by someone else that it was illegal everywhere. That's what he was commenting back on.

→ More replies (0)

-10

u/HAHAGASGSGAHAHHAHELP 4d ago

so in that case he was wrong

→ More replies (0)

8

u/Aethenosity 4d ago

Why is that relevant? It is almost certainly illegal where OP is, because there are a negligible amount of places where it is not. The odds are damn good it is illegal, and OP implies it is.

2

u/confirmeded 4d ago

911 isn’t the PD number in Australia, Another American assuming everything on the internet is about their country.

4

u/Party_Swim_6835 4d ago

Countries / territories that use 911 for police according to https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/911-by-country:

American Samoa, Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, Argentina, Aruba, Bahamas, Belize, Bermuda, Canada, Cayman Islands, Costa Rica, Curacao, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador, Fiji, Grenada, Guam, Guyana, Honduras, Jamaica, Jordan, Kenya, Liberia, Marshall Islands, Mexico, Micronesia, Montserrat, Palau, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Puerto Rico, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Samoa, Solomon Islands, Tonga, Trinidad and Tobago, Tuvalu, United States, United States Virgin Islands, Uruguay, Venezuela

does this mean you also assume everything on the internet is about the US?

-2

u/SendThemToHeaven 4d ago

No, America lives in your head rent free lmao

156

u/SeaPotatoSalad 4d ago

Send them links to local organisations helping women safely exit sex work

77

u/D3LICI0U5 4d ago

Ask them to send some money

37

u/eraaaa_94 4d ago

that would just be a crime

68

u/D3LICI0U5 4d ago edited 4d ago

Asking for money isn’t. If they offered/agreed to services then yes.

25

u/SuchCoolBrandon 4d ago

They clearly think they're messaging someone else. Asking for money while in the guise of someone they know is undoubtedly fraudulent.

18

u/PileOfBrokenWatches 4d ago

So your saying if you commit a crime against someone who is committing a crime, it's still a crime?

1

u/eraaaa_94 4d ago

yeah thats what i ment with the comment, if he offers service and charges money and then doesnt do it thats a crime. sorry if i didnt specify it

5

u/D3LICI0U5 4d ago

No worries. Unless one of those people is a cop I don’t think anyone will get in trouble regardless lol

13

u/MithrilHuman 4d ago

Prostitution is also a crime in most of U.S. right? What will the other person sue for?

2

u/eraaaa_94 4d ago

is it? im not from the US so idk too much

2

u/Mister_angel1 4d ago

Yes

7

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 4d ago

And even if prostitution isn't, soliciting is. So yeah, kind of an awkward call to the police no matter what lol

-6

u/eraaaa_94 4d ago

thats weird... why prostitution wouldnt be a crime but soliciting yes? makes no sense

6

u/MithrilHuman 4d ago

So the trafficked providers are not in trouble. It’s to dissuade customers from the industry.

1

u/eraaaa_94 2d ago

makes sense now

1

u/DVus1 4d ago

This, start asking for a "deposit" to ensure they are serious and raking in the money!

-2

u/24_7_365_ 4d ago

Make the service vague like full service so it could be anything like resume critiquing. Then edit their resume. Or just have chat gpt come up with one for a job

68

u/redtitz1 4d ago

PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS. also I want to make a sub reddit about it so someone plz pm me!!

62

u/floppinaround420 4d ago

Send me proof of rabies vaccination

18

u/grethrowaway21 4d ago

Maybe a video of a jack in the box, going and going until it pops??

8

u/C4rdninj4 4d ago

I'm pretty sure I've seen one that loops before it actually pops. Let the anticipation build.

5

u/redtitz1 4d ago

When it pops it has a message with a link that sends them on a wild chase for something that doesn't even exist

19

u/FoodieMonster007 4d ago

Generate a positive HIV test result with AI and send it to them.

4

u/Iron315 4d ago

dont forget to ask for a rediculous amount of money afterwards, send em the test results then hit em with 6k per night, special discount just for you bb 🤣

8

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 4d ago

Send them your Venmo then ditch

7

u/FrontEconomist4960 4d ago

i assume ur male? just send goofy ass photos of urself as such

6

u/TotallyNotRobotEvil 4d ago

Sign up to be an affiliate for one of those shady “meet sexy locals in your area” type sites. They’ll give you $50.00 for each new sign up. Just send them the link, with something like “we can talk here”. Sit back and earn yourself some pizza money.

2

u/Chum_Buck9t 4d ago

Send a pic of your hog!

2

u/Rypien_37 4d ago

Tell them they need to get tested for AIDS 🤣

1

u/FightGeistC 4d ago

Your nice, id be sending people VILE shit

1

u/Swiftraven 4d ago

Create a Venmo burner and ask them for deposits.

0

u/echo_is_alive 4d ago

real. keep me updated this is great

19

u/RelationshipNo9336 4d ago

Or, before you hit your head, you used to be a prostitute.

18

u/NeptuneFirefly 4d ago

I have this same situation with my number and I started replying stuff like, “Your call for service has been confirmed. A police vehicle has been dispatched to your location”

16

u/SatansMoisture 4d ago

You didn't think to start an onlyfans account?

3

u/HawkeyeByMarriage 4d ago

Start a page and post things you receive

4

u/WuPacalypse 4d ago

Send one of those fake “FBI WARNING” texts

10

u/IBringTheHeat2 4d ago

Make a cashapp and just ask them to send you the money in advance.

Make thousands of dollars for free

6

u/PeggyHill90210 4d ago

Ask for cash up front, and send your cash app

3

u/i_use_this_for_work 4d ago

You’re missing an opportunity to take deposits or screening fees.zzz

3

u/flamingoastro 4d ago

There's a time and place for such shenanigans .... And this is it.

2

u/TresCeroOdio 4d ago

You’re missing out on a way to make a LOOOT of money. Just saying.

2

u/gc1 3d ago

Tell them you got pregnant after the last time and they might be the father, and ask them to come meet up so you can do a paternity test. 

3

u/Darthjohnboy250 4d ago

Use the video of the prostitute from the Simpsons 😝

3

u/Fit-Engineering-2789 4d ago

Jokes on you...they were actually looking for a Rick roll in the hay.

3

u/BreadSimple3179 4d ago

This has been my favourite update!

3

u/Convallaria4 4d ago

Rofl, I need more of this.

2

u/Complex-Muffin4650 4d ago

A male prostitute?!

2

u/OOFMAN-1234 4d ago

Send the men back a dic pic

3

u/misdeliveredham 4d ago

Sign them up for vote blue or something!

2

u/Ok-Corner-8654 4d ago

I've got a problem with a new phone number, but it's not as crazy as yours though, lol. I've got a 7-Eleven across the street, and I like to order from them, you can find some good deals online or on the app. I changed my number to the new one online, but they sent me a verification email to the previous person's. Of course, I don't have that person's email, so I'm stuck. Mildly infuriated is right, lol

2

u/phoney_bologna 4d ago

We’re no strangers to love

1

u/ZealousidealSundae33 4d ago

You know the rules, and so do I

-1

u/SuchCoolBrandon 4d ago

There's no need to embarrass or confuse them. That's a joke that comes at their expense and it could come across as hurtful. It's not their fault the number has changed and pranking them is unfair. Just message them that the number has a new owner. Or simply don't respond (though I fear they might feel ignored or ghosted, also potentially hurtful).

7

u/vi_sucks 4d ago

Right?

It's a wrong number. We've all gotten one. There's no reason to be a dick about it.

1

u/Ordinary-Article6388 4d ago

I'll credit the lady you took the number from, she was obviously good and popular at her job 😂

1

u/SNSkurton 4d ago

Why are you using a prostitutes number?

1

u/Constant_Basket_5830 3d ago

Easy money bro all u gotta do is tell them to send a deposit bro and that’s easy bread

1

u/Doblofino 3d ago

This is someone who embraced the Dark Side

Well done.

1

u/Popular_Depth_9191 3d ago

broo put a screamer

1

u/buzz8588 4d ago

Bro, honestly open a Venmo account and ask people to send you some money for coffee or whatever

1

u/DarthJarJar242 4d ago

Setup a venmo or cash app. When they request your services just send the link nothing else. If they donate block them and move the money to your bank. It's not like they will ever be able to find you or admit to soliciting sex work.

1

u/CriticalAd7693 4d ago

Lame as hell

1

u/pisces9666 4d ago

send them my venmo please lmao 🤣

2

u/multiple_possums 4d ago

SAME please I’m so poor lol. I’ll send them butt pics but it’s the ol’ elbow crease joke

1

u/Many-Engine3587 I LOVE RED COLOR OR THIS FLAIR 4d ago

lmao, That was a funniest way to trolling a spam

1

u/madmankevin 4d ago

Lol! OP had turned lemons into lemonade and now this is turning into a gift for all of us! MOAR!

1

u/splitfinity 4d ago

Just link them an Amazon wish list

1

u/OtherwisePollution96 4d ago

bro if you type in promo code WRNGWHORE you revert them to a diffrent lady of the night . and collect money of thesee johns bra. then send me a cut

1

u/ZealousidealSundae33 4d ago

Send me a cut too for upvoting this comment

1

u/juststart 4d ago

Start asking for deposits?

1

u/HubblePie 4d ago

Classic prank, Derenzo!

1

u/SadBanana12 4d ago

Lmaoooo 😭😭😭

1

u/Reddit_is_ai_trash 4d ago

Pretend to be news or law enforcement watch them squirm!

1

u/odrea 4d ago

derenzo who

1

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 4d ago

Get them to Venmo you money, BUT DO NOT EXPLICITLY SAY WHAT FOR. That's solicitation even if you don't engage in any acts. Thank them for their charitable contribution to your beer fund and get on with your life.

1

u/PegaxS 4d ago

Same thing happened to me last time I went to Malaysia.

I was there for work for a month and just got a monthly SIM card... loaded it up, put it in my phone and launched it... I installed WeChat and Whatsapp for work and suppliers to contact me... HO LEE SHIT! 5 mins online and it was nothing but dudes asking "Hey babe... are you back??" or "See you're back in town, can we get together?"

Straight back to the phone store for a new number...

0

u/wraith_majestic 4d ago

gotta love the classics.

0

u/DZello 4d ago

Just ask to be paid in bitcoin, in advance.

0

u/Notchersfireroad 4d ago

Start replying to every one you just found out you have full blown aids.

0

u/Soft-Loquat8365 4d ago

Sure I need money up front. "Send it here" block

0

u/George_2000 4d ago

Niiiiiice!

0

u/TheGuyThatThisIs 4d ago

Send each of them a Venmo link and ask for a down payment.

0

u/berained 4d ago

Invite all of them to the same bar

0

u/ToucansBANG 4d ago

Create a bitcoin wallet. Ask for a deposit.

0

u/Mountain_Tailor_3571 4d ago

Wait. Did they just ask “who tf is this” and then answer their own question with their name?!

-4

u/Big_Remove_3686 4d ago

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinkin' of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

-1

u/jelledatbenik_434 4d ago

Unlimited power

-1

u/stugotsCDXX 4d ago

Tell them you just found out you’re pregnant with their child. I’m sure they’ll block your number real fast.