r/news • u/DuvalEaton • Oct 15 '14

Title Not From Article Another healthcare worker tests positive for Ebola in Dallas

http://www.wfla.com/story/26789184/second-texas-health-care-worker-tests-positive-for-ebola
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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

I want off Mr. Ebola's Wild Ride

20

u/kungfucandy7 Oct 15 '14

the path to the exit was 2 weeks long and we ended up here. it's just another infection of ebola. it's just another infection of ebola. it's just another infection of ebola.

79

u/business_time_ Oct 15 '14

I much rather ride the Stomach Flu Jamboree.

18

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

That one stresses me out.

2

u/joeyhoer Oct 15 '14

It makes me sick

2

u/tsr6 Oct 15 '14

It makes me poop.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

At least you get to keep your organs on this one

1

u/DaftFunky Oct 15 '14

I can't find the exit >:(

4

u/lagruetze Oct 15 '14

Mr. Ebola's Wild Ride is really good value!

3

u/New_leaf999 Oct 15 '14

Still better than Pirates of the Pancreas

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

Still better than Knott's Berry Farm.

2

u/mr_glasses Oct 15 '14

Or Big Diarrhea Mountain

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

I much rather have ice cream.

2

u/Mumster Oct 15 '14

Our family is riding SFJ. Problem is you have to keep telling yourself that you couldn't possibly have gotten on Mr.E's ride by mistake.

1

u/cynicalprick01 Oct 15 '14

Pirates of the pancreas anyone?

1

u/Killfile Oct 15 '14

Turns out that Mr Ebola's Wild Ride actually looks just like the Stomach Flu Jamboree right up until the big drop at Vomit Falls when the lights go down, the music switches over to Slayer and the ride does a spinning, vertical dive into a nightmarish hellscape of putrefying internal organs that we call "the hemorrhage-ator."

Get ready to get wet! 90% of our riders come out soaked to the bone!

From there it's a brief coast through the Dissociative Decon area before you exit the ride into our gift shop. Be sure to check out our specials: the Ebola Skin Peel, Zaire Testicular Inflamorator, and a wide collection of eyewear (Iritis, Iridocyclitis, Chorodidtis, and Blindness -- available while supplies last) are on display. Also, guys, don't forget to pick up a little protection: your semen remains contagious for up to seven weeks.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

The correct name is ebola-chan

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

"ebola-chan what's ebola-chan?"

Well that's weird as fuck

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

Good luck Ebola-chan. I love you ebola-chan!

2

u/Webonics Oct 15 '14

Exit to the left, next to the attendant in the black robe with the scythe. There's paper towels for the eye blood.

2

u/hey_sergio Oct 15 '14

Look at me. I am the captain now.

2

u/StabbyDMcStabberson Oct 15 '14

The ride never ends.

2

u/megamansam Oct 15 '14

You should check out Pirates of the Pancreas.

2

u/sexlexia_survivor Oct 15 '14

Mr. Ebola's Wild Ride is too scary for me

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '14

Is this a nod to the video game Mr.Do's wild ride?

1

u/Rex_Lee Oct 15 '14

Mr. Ebola? Is that like Captain Trips?