Dad turns in teenage son after finding child pornography on cell phone

[u/MIngmire]

http://www.kmov.com/story/37226711/dad-turns-in-teenage-son-after-finding-inappropriate-pictures-on-phone

[u/[deleted]]

See also: false rape allegations, pedophiles that would never hurt a child, the justice system's preference for female parties in family law contexts, etc.

Pushing "man bites dog" as equally important as [reality] has got to be among reddit's top ten favorite things.

edit: and here they come

edit 2:how is it there is always at least one user that comes out of the woodwork wanting to argue about pedophilia!?

[u/veggiter → u/[deleted]]

Reddit is a pretty huge, diverse place, but one near constant is contrarianism. I think that's really the main motivation.

[u/Cinna_Bunny → u/[deleted]]

and your point is? Keep these things in mind on a case by case basis, sure but reality doesn't point to these things as a being pattern. Pushing a false narrative and playing devil's advocate every time issues like this comes up only creates issues.

[u/Sawses → u/Cinna_Bunny]

The reason most people push these stories, in my opinion, is because they see people fixated on a dualistic point of view. One is bad, one is good. One is suffering, the other is not. Women get beaten by men. Men rape women. Black people are hurt for their race. White people benefit from their race. They do a statistical analysis, and declare that the one most-suffering is also the only sufferer. They average incidents of domestic violence, and decide which group suffers exclusively. They consider who suffers most from being called racial slurs, and declare them the only victims of racism.

It's the age-old problem with human thinking; we think in terms of 'us' and 'them', and we extend that to literally every area of life. Seriously, give me a situation, any situation, and I'll point out how it relates to this duality in some form or fashion. These people are trying to react against that by saying, "Hey, white people get killed for being white. Men get raped. Women can be violent abusers." Of course, they too often fall prey to this duality and sometimes focus exclusively on the minority using the exact same averaging system. Still, I think they deserve a little more credit than they get; they're reacting to a fundamental flaw in our society, and I think that's at least a noble goal, even if execution could be better.

[u/quaerex → u/[deleted]]

Yes, and sometimes men do bite dogs. But what's more likely; a man biting a dog, or a dog biting a man?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

It does matter, because we're quicker to worry about ourselves than the actual statistics. Quicker to judge the women because what if. It criminalizes victims in the public eye because that one time you heard someone was lying. Ever heard of the woman who sued McDonald's for the cup of hot coffee? Of course you have. And you think to yourself, how ridiculous, right? These people will sue over anything. But that's not the case. The coffee was being held at a temperature SO HIGH, that it caused second degree burns on contact, a very high risk level that McDonald's was not supposed to be holding it at. McDonald's had caused other damages like this before, but they swept it under he rug by offering free coffees in exchange for second degree burns. All the lady asked was for them to help cover her medical bills, but when they refused and sensationalized her case, she sued them and it was an overwhelming win. But we don't know about that.

[u/Sawses → u/[deleted]]

They really did a good job with the McDonald's case. If you haven't already seen it, I recommend the Adam Ruins Everything video on it.

[u/quaerex → u/[deleted]]

The point is that both suffer, and it's counterproductive to pretend that the one that's more prevalent, more harmful, more severe, etc. is the only one that happens.

Did I say it was the only one that happens?

You are putting words into my mouth and arguing against a position I never took. I have issue with the sensationalization of the couple of cases we see of the opposite side, because that sensationalization is what leads to serious damage for victims of the crime. If you incorrectly believe false rape accusations are common, then you're not going to be likely to believe a victim. Do you see where there might be a problem there?

[u/Sawses → u/quaerex]

My point was that we should accommodate both, even if one's more common. And I'd argue the flip is also true--if you believe false rape accusations nearly never happen, how are you going to treat your son who was just accused of raping a woman? Sympathy for victims is good, but it should never cost the accused their sympathy. You can sympathize with both, and reserve judgement while offering every bit of support you can.

[u/quaerex → u/Sawses]

if you believe false rape accusations nearly never happen

This is demonstrably true

how are you going to treat your son who was just accused of raping a woman

This isn't an argument

Sympathy for victims is good

It's essential

but it should never cost the accused their sympathy

I have no sympathy for the accused. Do you mean "presumption of innocence?"

You can sympathize with both

Rape is a far worse crime than a false accusation, and that's a fact, regardless of your "dualistic thinking" buzzwords. Theft is a lesser crime than murder. It doesn't mean we don't prosecute theft.

reserve judgement while offering every bit of support you can

If I was a judge that would be great. The court of public opinion does not need to abide by the same guidelines. That argument is used to explain why Roy Moore should have been voted into office and that Harvey Weinstein is innocent. You sure you want to continue on the "innocent until a court declares you guilty?" You well know that 90%+ of rapes never even make it to a court.

[u/Sawses → u/quaerex]

True or not, it does change how you respond. While this may make sense to you, that's because you're thinking from the perspective that one must 'take a side'. That's the crux of the issue--you don't have to and, in fact, shouldn't in most cases.

And yes, you should sympathize with the accused. Being accused of a crime is traumatic and in many ways violating. It dirties your reputation and places you under intense scrutiny, especially for a more serious crime like rape or murder. I'm not going to get into which is worse because, as I said above, it doesn't matter because you aren't picking a side.

And no, you don't have to reserve judgement. My point is that most people should except, perhaps, when they're intimately involved with the accused or the victim. That way the victim gets the support they need and so does the accused, and nobody except the people who are almost required to take sides (lawyers, parents, family, etc.) needs to cause any grief for anybody, so nobody suffers unjustly from the situation.

As for the statistics... Well, yes. Perhaps more should go to court, but I'd argue that's largely because police don't properly take evidence like they should. And, as a consequence of that, victims are hardly more likely to report since...to be honest, nobody wants to report being raped. It's humiliating, unpleasant, scary, and at a time when most normal people won't be mentally stable.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

The justice law preference is real.

[u/americanhardgums → u/[deleted]]

Actually, and yes I see the irony of saying this on reddit, but preference to the mother is a huge problem in my country. Like the mother has to be unemployed, a drug addict and a documented aduser before the father even has a hope of custody. (exaggeration but you get the point)

[u/[deleted] → u/americanhardgums]

Yeah in my country the female bio parent has to literally be a dead hooker in order to award dad custody. Did you know that 100% of dads are not dead hookers? Pretty crazy stuff.

[u/americanhardgums → u/[deleted]]

Well, I mean you can be a dead dad who used to be a hooker. And I'd be willing to bet they would only be known for being a hooker after they'd died.

[u/[deleted] → u/americanhardgums]

I mean lets just not forget that not all people who fantasize about killing hookers, write dead hooker stories, collect pics of dead hookers, and watch hookers through binoculars from a dark alley would ever, and I mean ever, hurt a hooker.

Like how fucked up is it that we persecute those people for having feelings they can't control?

It's like the #1 problem in our society. THOUGHT POLICE HERE TO REINFORCE THE NANNY STATE WOO WOO.

edit: the anti-dead-hooker-fanfic lobby is here to oppress me per usual

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

false rape allegations

Yes, because we should just ignore when it does happen and send innocent people to jail since it's not worth worrying about.

Is that what you're saying? Because otherwise I'm not sure.

[u/RealPutin → u/[deleted]]

Pretty clear that's not what they're saying, just pointing out that reddit acts like false rape accusations are commonplace when they're something like 2-5% of all accusations. If you continually believe or bring up the "well what if it's false" narrative, that can lead to victim blaming or legitimizing real accusations. Nobody sane believes that false rape accusations are okay, but it is true that rape is a much larger problem and we should approach the issue of false accusations in a way that doesn't hurt those who are telling the truth.

They also never said in that comment that they supported sending someone to jail just for being accused of rape.

[u/[deleted] → u/RealPutin]

Even if it were something like 2% of allegations, which I think it was actually less, the number actually reported rapes are even lower. Most rapes go unreported, so I really wish we'd stop freaking out about women doing this. It doesn't happen. As they say, hit dog holler.

[u/GhostBond → u/RealPutin]

when they're something like 2-5% of all accusations

What that number actually refers to is the number of proven unfounded accusations. The accusations so absurd, the police investigation proves that it did not happen.

You know how hard it is to prove something *didn't" happen? 2% - 8% is the bare minimum of false accusations made to the police.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

You mean so that you can write me a novella about the nuances of my misunderstanding of how the world works? I'm good, thanks.