r/nosurf • u/Past-Geologist • Jan 21 '20
2 years of nosurf: My timeline and experience
Sorry if this gets all over the place, but I just wanted to share my journey to help some of you out. I used to spend 10 hours a day. Horrible skin, health, poor vision, brain fog, no memory, no concentration, social anxiety, depression, bad hygiene, procrastinator, no one could depend on me for ANYTHING, just overall a horrible “mindless” person. Does this sound like you? I cried and cried and tried to quit multiple times nothing worked. One day I woke up and said I can’t do this anymore. I deleted everything.
Week 1-3: Horrible. Felt like I was battling a serious drug addiction. Wanted to sleep all day and felt like an empty bored zombie. Felt so out of tune with the world.. but I had to stick to the plan so I did.
1 month: Started to get used things, however had a growing pain to just check “one more time”, to see what’s been happening the month I’ve been away.
3 months: Started to find interests in other things. Picked up a clarinet and was actually finishing books. My brain fog was going away. More productive, room was cleaner. Started running on my free time. Free mind and wellness. However, I did ALMOST have a set back. Went on a nice 2 week vacation and wanted to post about it. It made me so disappointed knowing I payed 1,000+ for this trip and no one was going to see it. But this was my test. A well needed one at that. If I can get over not posting this I can get over ANYTHING. In the end it felt good knowing the trip I took was for me and my enjoyment, and not something I wasted money on just to give something to show social media.
Month 6: Pains for validation started to go down. Stopped having an interest in posting every single thing. Finally had a “flow” of life without the internet. Made more real life friends and putting in effort to grow bonds w/ all the free time I had.
Year 1: Social awkwardness went away dramatically. I was starting to gain my own thoughts and opinions. Depression gone. Boredom gone. The world looked more colorful and everything was better. I found more interest in different things, where as in the past everything in real life became so boring and useless to me.
Year 2: Now that I’m on the other side, I see people who use social media as “different”. Anytime I go out to eat or anywhere at that matter, all the phone buzzing and scrolling seems weird to me. I think to myself “what’s so special? I just don’t get it?”. I started to feel bad for those who still have the issue. You really see how long a person can truly be glued in. I think now I’m starting to feel like the person I was before I started. My screen time reduce to 50 minutes a day overall average.
I now feel so free with out the social pressures, but most importantly.. I feel like MYSELF. I often find people boring because on social media everyone are just carbon copies of each other. Women all look the same with the new set beauty standards and everyone copies each other’s opinions just to fit in. No sense of self identity whatsoever. I’ve cultivated my own desires and hobbies and I feel like it shows when I meet other people. I used to blame my lack of friends on being lonely, weird and social anxiety. But turns out it was because of my media abuse. I had no life and no emotions, in turn made me a boring person to be around.
In conclusion do it now. Please. You won’t regret it. And I don’t mean just checking sm after 9pm, 25 minutes a day, or on the weekend..that doesn’t work especially if the addiction is deeply engrained in you. You must at the very least delete and if not UNINSTALL the app. Unless you’re making income, I just don’t see the point of slaving 4-12hrs a day just to see other people’s highlight reel. I get the excuse of being afraid to leave.. but I’m sure we all were alive and well before social media existed. If you could do it then you can do it now.
Most importantly.. learn to fall in love with being bored. People are too scared of boredom. But this process will start off BORING beyond means and you have to accept it. It goes beyond “finding something to do” this is PURELY a self control problem. Self control isn’t replacing one habit with another. It’s being able to not continue the habit despite having nothing else to do. If you truly want to get your true old self back, there’s only one way to get there.
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u/Baby_venomm Jan 21 '20
Question. Did you text and have phone calls during this time?
Second. What if your hobby requires research online and discussion with redditors and stuff? I deleted Snapchat, IG, discord and I’m Grateful. Reddit is the last block. And I have a lot of articles saved in the news app. How can I do no surf if I need to text? I can find ways to end Reddit like I’ve done before. But ultimately I’d still need online research on my laptop I believe
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Jan 21 '20
100% nosurf is borderline impossible in this day and age. Phone calls, messages, emails, is a necessity in almost every single job there is.
That's why people committing strongly to nosurf still have flip phones, because it covers the necessities without the useless dopamine apps that come with touch phones.
Nosurf isn't about not looking at screens ever, it's about only looking at screens when you actively have to/want to do something.
You can still watch movies on nosurf, just don't binge watch 3 season of a show in a day just because you can't think of anything better to do.
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u/-_LUV_- Jan 21 '20 edited Jan 22 '20
Just to add - I think it's important to cease all possible surfing at first. This is because it's meant to rewire the brain's circuits and neuropathways, which cannot happen unless radical changes are made through stimulus, which will then in turn affect the brain with positive changes.
Furthermore, I also believe quitting all possible use for a decent length of time is the better way, because at this point, in accordance with your experience, you actively begin to look for alternatives, almost maniacally. This is good, as it presents the opportunity for new discoveries and experiences, of which will less likely be prioritized if surfing is still in activity.
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u/xeverxsleepx Jan 21 '20
I have a smart phone and still only use it for texts and calls. And Google maps in case I need to drive anywhere unfamiliar.
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Jan 21 '20
Yeah I doubt I'll ever get a flip phone. I can manage to stay off my iPhone. Especially with no time wasters installed, with the exception of Youtube. But without earbuds I don't watch videos in public either.
Fast and accessible gps, mail, calls etc is just too convenient.
I can see how someone with a more severe addiction might find it easier to just get a flip phone though.
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u/xeverxsleepx Jan 21 '20
I have an old Android so it has the Android Memory Problem where it randomly says it has no memory storage left, so I had to delete every app. And the more I delete, the worse it seems to get. I deleted all my photos too. Idk.
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Hey good question! I did text and call during this time off :) ! Nothing super excessive though, like for example I don’t have WhatsApp, discord, or any other online messaging system. If I had relatives over seas I probable would though. And definitely did lots of phone calls which overall grew my conversational abilities stronger.
And if your doing research for a hobby and something that will improve you then thats totally fine. I even had to do research on certain things, even had to use YouTube and reddit at times, I just mainly stayed away from snap, twitter, Facebook ect, any media site that was doing me no good. Start checking your daily average. I think 2hrs a day is a good set to still do research here and there, maybe sneak in a funny video sometimes as needed...there’s nothing wrong with the internet, just don’t abuse it and go overboard.
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u/ironyis4suckerz Jan 22 '20
i’m old af and my biggest time waster next to surfing is texting. I get text messages non stop all day!! I have tried to explain to people that I am doing “phone free” days and less texting but this does not go over well. and again....i’m old! I can’t even imagine what it’s like for young people who were raised with phones. I have been trying for years to get my friends to ease up on the texting and accept that I don’t want to be glued to my phone. it’s really difficult. all the best to you. i’m going to step up my game this year!!
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Jan 21 '20
Which other interests did you pick up?
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Good question! Clarinet (learn the b scale first and it gets easier) , read more books, started cooking & baking, watched more movies, took used furniture from good will and redecorated them, started learning board games, started going to the gym, picked up more hours at work which in turn gave me more income to go out and do more things. A lot of random stuff will all come to you after I’d say the 3 month mark. The first week will be a lot of “what do people even do”.. my most favorite hobby was being bored. You must love being bored before anything will even work.
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Jan 21 '20
what do people even do
I couldn't even begin to answer this question myself a few years back. It's funny because the answer is quite literally anything.
Your story inspired me though. I recently stopped listening to music when I'm outside, which is a pretty big first step for me
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Jan 21 '20
I deleted facebook and instagram one month ago, and I'm really boring, and it makes me think about how miserable my life was. So I'm planning some things to give meaning to my life and routine. Have to confess that my Reddit use has grow a lot. At least I'm training my english xD
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Yay I’m so happy for you!! And hey gotta start from somewhere. Instagram was hardest for me to quit, and of course Facebook is as well. So I’m glad you got that far. At least reddit isn’t as depressing as those 2, but yea it can get addictive. I’m glad it’s helping your English. There’s an app called Duolingo that helps that as well. Just set a time limit to 2hrs! There’s nothing wrong everything should be in moderation.
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Jan 21 '20
Yeah, my problem isn't social media at all. Just make sure you do not move your addiction over to a new page. For me it's the tutorial world, learning new things. Reddit is definitely one of the addictive ones for me. The right clicking on something interesting to watch later is one of the biggest problems for me. But I know what needs to be done. No internet in the house.
The one good thing internet gave me was actually learning English, so I understand that part.
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Jan 21 '20
[deleted]
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Thankyou I appreciate it! And I fully agree with everything you said. Outside of all the social media, I find all the new apps making it worse as well. Like an app on board games really? I much prefer to play it in person face to face than tapping my screen. It’s going to be interesting to see what generation z & a will be like in 25 years. Nonetheless, nothing is wrong with phones it’s just the fact that we are replacing our entire lives within it. I refuse to go back to the mindless miserable hole I was in.
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u/xeverxsleepx Jan 21 '20
My problem is I have no friends on the outside world, and nobody will ever desire to be around me. =\
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Before I got addicted to the internet I barley had any friends. I also didn’t drive at that age so I couldn’t go anywhere, but I was still content for some reason. I still found other things to do because social media just did not exist in my world. Actually if anything, social media made me feel even more lonely. When you see your peers together and people traveling and doing all sorts of things.. it made me miserable. To add to the social anxiety it gave me & overall made me such an uninteresting person. You will be okay. I promise. You just have to do it and around the 3 month mark it’ll get better. Eventually you’ll get so bored that it’ll FORCE you to make a friend
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u/xeverxsleepx Jan 21 '20
I drive.... to work. And bring my mom shopping. That's it. I have nowhere else to go so I just sit at home.
Also there's really no available people where I live so. =\
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Jan 21 '20
Become a more positive person. Find new hobbies to be involved.Meditate and stick to your goals
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u/mast878787 Jan 21 '20
this success story inspired me, i’ll give it a shot, wish me luck :D
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Yes love to hear it. Do it and don’t look back. Best life choice I’ve ever made,
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u/stoptimewaste Jan 21 '20
Unless you’re making income, I just don’t see the point of slaving 4-12hrs a day just to see other people’s highlight reel
Very good point! If only it was possible seeing a version of your future self that put that time into something more useful
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Yes I was spending 10 hours a day I kid you not. I could’ve got a full time job with that amount of time. All my peers average out 4-12 hours.. one does 14. Just IMAGINE what kind of individual you could be if you put that time into something else, it’s insane.
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Jan 21 '20
WOW man I'm happy for you, truly inspiring stuff, but if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
I don’t mind at all! And I’m 21 so it doesn’t help that I’m in the age range where everyone else is heavily involved in it, but that’s okay I LOVE being the unique one of the group with no social media. Wbu?
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Jan 21 '20
What strikes me about this is that it sounds exactly like the stories I've heard from former drug addicts about recovery. First 30 days are hell, next 60 days are generally ok but the relapse still lurks around the corner, after half a year you really start to reap the benefits and after two years you can call yourself "cured". After that it's just a matter of being alert for extreme situations.
Thanks for sharing this. It was very inspiring. Maybe it's time to give nosurf a serious push again. This might just be the nudge that I needed to take the leap. I'll comment again in a couple of days to see how it went. Thanks in advance.
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Yep you’re right. Just like drug recovery! That’s why I’m surprised it’s not advocated more. The withdrawal is difficult that’s why it’s hard for a lot of people to quit. I’m glad this inspired you. Please don’t give up I promise being on the other side is sooo worth it.
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Jan 21 '20
I just made a post on this sub about my journey. I’ve been social media free for a month now. This post is really inspiring and I’m going to save it so I can look back to it when I get cravings. It’s crazy that social media feels like a true drug addiction to me. I used to spend 9hrs+ a day on social media. I uninstalled all of my apps. I have chosen to keep my accounts in case I’m hanging out with someone and they say “have you seen..?” “Have you heard that so and so has...?” and I can go into safari and catch up on what was brought up. I’m really enjoying no social media and I feel free.
I never realized how much I’d love boredom! Boredom keeps me productive and encourages me to dive into new things.
I’m proud that you’ve gone this far. I can’t wait to reach the point you have. Social media addiction needs to be taken more seriously. It’s been almost just as hard to quit as it was for me to stop sucking my thumb back in high school, and the damn thing was attached to me.
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 22 '20
Hey just read your post! Also 21F & in college who spent 9/10 hours. It for sure was not easy due to all of my peers who use it, but honestly that’s what made me unique. When someone would tell me about a trip,party, or any random event they would actually have to verbally tell me from beginning to end because I didn’t have social media to “see”. Kept convos more interesting. Also you start to really pity people. Went out to a fancy dinner & my friend’s food was getting cold as cameras flashed. One friend spent 15 taking pics and then another 15 minutes having the table vote on which top 3 pics she wanted to post on insta. I’m like what the heck is it that serious?? I just want to take one group photo, eat and go. Every where I go people seem like zombies. I’m telling you, It’s a horrible horrible addiction. Anyways, I’ve never felt better. My phone was the cause of ALL my life failures. And yes imo this is almost just as bad if not WORST than some other addictions. I probably tried at least 20 other times and kept failing.. until I woke up one day and had a horrible break down. The bad grades, laziness, no social skills, brain fog everything just doing NOTHING with my life was becoming too much. Please don’t quit. You aren’t missing ANYTHING. Push through you got this!
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u/zertruche Jan 21 '20
It made me so disappointed knowing I payed 1,000+ for this trip and no one was going to see it.
uhh... I don't have an appropriate word to describe this
edit: found it, 'lame'
English is not my native tongue so I had the idea in my head for my language but couldn't find it in English
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u/yoddleforavalanche Jan 21 '20
Year 1: Social awkwardness went away dramatically. I was starting to gain my own thoughts and opinions.
It took a year for that? Something's not right there
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
For it to go away completely, yes roughly that long. You cant change effects from a 6 year addiction in 2 months.
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u/yoddleforavalanche Jan 21 '20
Did you just cut social media or did you completely not use the internet for 2 years?
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u/Past-Geologist Jan 21 '20
Social media only. I did use the internet still, but not as much. Only for needed research purposes.
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u/yoddleforavalanche Jan 21 '20
Just social media is not good enough for me.
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Jan 21 '20
Same here, social media is not really a problem for me or something I'm interested in. It's the right clicking to a new tab, with every interesting link, or youtube video. Oh I'll watch that later! then you look up at the tabs and you got like 30 of them..
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u/amandajskye Jan 21 '20
I loved reading this. Thank you for putting this out there. Its inspiring to hear your journey. ❤❤
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u/DigitallyMinimal 2078 days Jan 22 '20
learn to fall in love with being bored
Very true. I think this is one of the most important lessons most of us learn. Boredom is a creative energy. It isn't supposed to be alleviated instantly any moment it shows up, which is what these social media services are trying to achieve.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad3830 Nov 04 '21
Hi! Thanks for putting this here and being honest that it wasn't easy. So that at least if we experience the setbacks we would be encouraged to keep on.
One concern I have, though, is that my business is an online one and that's what I do to earn. I think I will need social media to advertise, to let people know my business exists because those that need my service are not within my circle of friends and looking back, my social media page was the way I got almost half of my clients who are my regulars now.
Is it okay to keep these pages? I haven't completely eradicated social media use but I'm starting to lessen my use. I would see people putting their highlights and it sometimes makes me feel bad, and I would begin to compare, or feel bad for lagging behind or for being not as successful or happy, forgetting that it may not be the real thing.
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Jul 10 '20
It's good to know that weeks 1-3 you felt like a zombie and just wanted to sleep. That's how I felt all day today (day 1) and I gave up. I gotta keep trying.
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u/its-a_username Sep 01 '23
hey, i wanted to know if u listened to music during this period of time,
my problem is that i daydream a lot while listening to music and spend hours on it so i wanted to know if u had a problem like this.
should i stop all music for 3 or so weeks
what do u suggest
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u/Hawa879 Nov 16 '23
How old were you when u started the no surf? I want to put a stop to this as well .21 years and the past 3 years we’re really bad .locked at home pretty much cause I’m too scared to go out . Have really bad anxiety and I’m on YouTube like the whole day pretty much , everyday
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u/briaairb Jan 21 '20
Interesting timeline & you made a lot of good points. I’ve always wondered how long it will take for me to feel “normal” again & now I know if I commit to at least 2 years I should see a change