r/nottheonion • u/NES_Classical_Music • 5h ago

John Williams finally admits he "never liked film music much"

avclub.com

2.3k Upvotes

153 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AniTaneen • 14h ago

Marjorie Taylor Greene issues scathing rebuke of conditions in Gaza: ‘I will not be silent about it’

thehill.com

13.7k Upvotes

1.1k comments

r/nottheonion • u/OkEscape7558 • 2h ago

Repeat sex offender charged in multiple 'buttocks sniffing' incidents arrested again in Burbank

abc7.com

624 Upvotes

53 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ImprovingEquals • 6h ago

Man, 81, sets fire to care home after denied trip with girlfriend

freemalaysiatoday.com

804 Upvotes

29 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Fan387 • 1h ago

‘Hanuman Ji was the first to go to space’: BJP’s Anurag Thakur to schoolkids, advises to ‘look beyond textbooks’

hindustantimes.com

• Upvotes

26 comments

r/nottheonion • u/justabill71 • 9h ago

California man dubbed ‘Butt Sniffer' arrested for second incident

nbcphiladelphia.com

268 Upvotes

37 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Gitmurr • 9h ago

For the 1st time in Canada, surgeons put teeth in patients' eyes to restore sight

cbc.ca

278 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/iFoegot • 22h ago

Chinese girl sells boyfriend to scam compound in Myanmar

global.chinadaily.com.cn

1.7k Upvotes

87 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Brianlife • 13h ago

For orca left in limbo, zoo resorts to sexual stimulation to stop inbreeding

bbc.com

193 Upvotes

31 comments

r/nottheonion • u/starkiller1613 • 9h ago

2 men arrested for allegedly breaking into Paycor Stadium, attempting to steal BBQ smoker

local12.com

59 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pipopapupupewebghost • 18h ago

Evangelion’s official work tool range expands with a new range of themed shovels

essential-japan.com

346 Upvotes

25 comments

r/nottheonion • u/beerbellybegone • 21h ago

Police notified after neon green sex toy thrown onto field during Titans preseason game

nbcnews.com

524 Upvotes

76 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mockingbird- • 1d ago

Army base used for WWII Japanese internment now nation's largest ICE detention center

usatoday.com

27.6k Upvotes

546 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SaneForCocoaPuffs • 1d ago

For orca left in limbo, zoo resorts to sexual stimulation to stop inbreeding

bbc.com

1.7k Upvotes

53 comments

r/nottheonion • u/PhoneJazz • 1d ago

Kilmar Abrego Garcia notified by ICE that he may be deported to Uganda

nbcnews.com

6.6k Upvotes

279 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MiyamotoUsagi1587 • 5h ago

Tommy Fleetwood gets birdie thanks to assistance from fly in freak shot

talksport.com

16 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/starkiller1613 • 1d ago

City says man who gives away homemade goods is breaking the law

fox19.com

1.8k Upvotes

320 comments

r/nottheonion • u/the-player-of-games • 1d ago

Javier Milei’s government will monitor social media with AI to ‘predict future crimes’

english.elpais.com

2.8k Upvotes

220 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Disorderly_Fashion • 1d ago

Aztecs expert reassures Joe Rogan he didn't start the pandemic by blowing death whistle with Bryan Callen

calfkicker.com

930 Upvotes

41 comments

r/nottheonion • u/oranjemania • 2d ago

‘My shoulders have never been more tan’ — more LDS women can now go sleeveless in summer

sltrib.com

3.1k Upvotes

267 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Hungry_Bat_2230 • 2d ago

DOGE Targeted Him on Social Media. Then the Taliban Took His Family.

propublica.org

2.1k Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/conturbation • 2d ago

'20 bodies or so' found behind 'hidden' door at Pueblo County coroner's private business

koaa.com

4.6k Upvotes

140 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Street_Anon • 2d ago

New Brunswicker stopped, handcuffed at U.S. border for travelling with ‘too much clothes’

tj.news

9.2k Upvotes

530 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Famijos • 2d ago

Black student group meets with MU over cancellation of event due to name

komu.com

325 Upvotes

14 comments

r/nottheonion • u/StacysMom • 2d ago

UK Foreign Secretary narrowly avoids fine for fishing without a licence while hosting JD Vance at his country retreat

news.sky.com

453 Upvotes

37 comments

Subreddit

Posts

Wiki

Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Members Active

25.9m

755

Sidebar

Official Reddit Partner Community

Review current posts to avoid reposting.

For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Please note that we are an editorialized subreddit devoted to showcasing articles that read like satire. Most submissions do not make the cut, so please do not treat removals under Rule 2 as personal attacks: They are simply the results of our content model.

See something that breaks our rules?

Use the report button and remember to choose a reason for reporting.

Rules - hover or click here for full version


1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked or redirected links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either.

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

Keep all comments civil.

Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, misinformation, conspiracy theories, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info. You will be banned!

For more information, click here.