r/nursing • u/MrsScribbleDoge Apparently not the best RN • Sep 25 '24
Nursing Hacks Let’s play “never have I ever” nurse edition.
Never have I ever, before my last shift, ripped a mega pretty princess girly fart in a sleeping patient’s room only to realize mid- hornk that patient was on video monitor. I just stopped and stared at the patient like she did it 🤦🏼♀️ so hopefully like… monitor tech doesn’t think I’m some sort of uncultured swine of a night shift nurse. EDIT: of* not if
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u/tjean5377 FloNo's death rider posse 🍕 Sep 25 '24
Never have I ever crop dusted the nursing station when the asshole senior resident was there...
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u/Geistwind RN 🍕 Sep 25 '24
Never have I ever told a patient to breathe deep after I let one rip( by accident as I helped him get up to grab the walker)" lots of vitamins in the air" ( he laughed so hard I had to grab him to prevent him from falling).
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u/poopyscreamer RN - OR 🍕 Sep 25 '24
I was staring at the camera all silly like for a video monitor and they used the mic to say hi. It scared me a little haha
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u/Alohomora4140 BSN, RN 🍕 Sep 25 '24
I haaate the video monitoring! I already have a slight phobia of feeling like I’m watched and the cameras-even when off- make it 10 times worse!!
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u/MrsScribbleDoge Apparently not the best RN Sep 25 '24
I can’t believe I forgot! I usually turn into Florence Nightingale and scrub the job for 20 seconds instead of just the standard 15, ya know. 😇The paranoia is real!
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Sep 25 '24
Never have I ever put a pressure bag on saline & somehow opened it after --making saline go flying all over the room like a damn hurricane. -nursing friend did this & I was an unfortunate witness. Me 👀 Patient 👀
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u/omeprazoleravioli ICU RN & Med Student Sep 26 '24
One time I unspiked the saline bag before deflating the pressure bag lol. It shot the ceiling and the patient (patient had passed, but glad he wasn’t alive to endure the bootleg christening that I inadvertently gave him)
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u/Cyrodiil BSN, RN, DNR ✌🏻 Sep 26 '24
I’ve done the same thing. Felt like a damn idiot in front of the patient lol
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Sep 26 '24
This happened to me in orientation. I asked my mentor if she was sure I could do that and she was like yeah, no problem! Next thing I know both of us and the patient are covered in a sea of saline 😂
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u/Rakdospriest RN - ER 🍕 Sep 26 '24
i had one burst the other day. sprayed LR everywhere. smelled a bit eggy.
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u/Reasonable_Quiet3845 Sep 25 '24
Never have I ever scooped out poop from a Pal Care PTs bum with a mini spatula like contraption for a stool sample and then have poop come out like lava for OVER 1 FULL MINUTE after BNO6 😭 I gagged after almost every wipe and had to keep moving the bluey away from their bum cause it just kept mr whippy-ing
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u/Eroe777 RN 🍕 Sep 25 '24
This reminded me of something from very early in my nursing career. I had a new admit who was not yet in delirium, but we could tell she would be by morning. We found her sitting on the floor in the bathroom at like 3AM, scooping her bowel movement out of the toilet and placing it in the HAT that she had somehow completely missed while passing said bowel movement.
When we asked her what she was doing, she pointed to the white board on the wall opposite the bathroom door and said, "It says right there: Collect Stool Sample."
And yes, she was out of her mind delirious when I got to work the next night.
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u/coolcaterpillar77 RN - Med/Surg 🍕 Sep 26 '24
I need someone to translate this comment for me 😂 Some of this vocab is above my head
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u/Reasonable_Quiet3845 Sep 26 '24
Patient was in palliative care Their Bowels weren’t open for 6 days (BNO6 = Bowels Not Open 6 days) Bluey = the puppy pad like thing that is there for incontinence
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u/WexMajor82 RN - Prison Sep 25 '24
Video monitor?
Never with the audio on. At least in the infectious diseases department, in my experience.
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u/Electrical_Prune_837 Sep 26 '24
Farting in a pt room? Do yall not have med rooms or supply closets?
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u/MrsScribbleDoge Apparently not the best RN Sep 26 '24
We do but I told another commenter up top that every time I fart in there, someone (and allllll of their friends) come pouring in behind me looking for something and now I’m shy.
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u/Electrical_Prune_837 Sep 26 '24
Ahh. Either assert dominance in the med room or "go for a walk". There aren't enough staff at night to make ripping ass in the med room or supply closet a high risk activity.
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u/UTclimber RN - ICU 🍕 Sep 26 '24
I fart there, too.
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u/Electrical_Prune_837 Sep 26 '24
In the ICU if the pt is intubated and sedated I see no malificence in farting in a pt room.
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u/Rougefarie BSN, RN 🍕 Sep 25 '24
Never have I ever worn a butt plug to work. 👀
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u/MrsScribbleDoge Apparently not the best RN Sep 26 '24
Oooooo! How did you make toots in your patient’s room then??!
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u/Rougefarie BSN, RN 🍕 Sep 26 '24
That’s a non-issue. I fart in the med room.
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u/MrsScribbleDoge Apparently not the best RN Sep 26 '24
Nope. I would fart and then suddenly 0.28 seconds later have 75 friends looking for something all at the same time.
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u/Rougefarie BSN, RN 🍕 Sep 26 '24
75! As if a hospital even staffs 75 nurses at any given time. But yes, med room farts do seem to summon people out of the woodwork, huh?
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u/MrsScribbleDoge Apparently not the best RN Sep 26 '24
A hyperbole, obviously, but after you fart, it certainly seems like 75 ppl!
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u/OldERnurse1964 RN 🍕 Sep 26 '24
Hypothetically speaking could one fart around one’s butt plug without it shooting out of one’s asshole like a Nike Zeus missle?
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u/Electrical_Prune_837 Sep 26 '24
As long as you don't go near MRI.
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u/Rougefarie BSN, RN 🍕 Sep 26 '24
I wonder whether my scrubs would catch it, or if it would tear through my clothes as a projectile?
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u/Electrical_Prune_837 Sep 26 '24
I think it would either go through the scrubs at the speed of light or go into your body also at the speed of light.
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u/ancilla1998 Sep 26 '24
If it's silicone they're fine!
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u/Electrical_Prune_837 Sep 26 '24
Sometimes the "100% silicone" have a metal core. Better safe than penetrated.
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u/ciestaconquistador RN, BSN Sep 26 '24
There was actually a person who had significant injuries from a "silicone" butt plug. Maybe someone can find the link, I think it happened relatively recently (within the last year or so).
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u/azalago RN - Psych/Mental Health 🍕 Sep 26 '24
I love how everyone's farting in pt rooms and then there's this one.
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u/BBrea101 CCRN, MA/SARN, WAP Sep 26 '24
Never have I ever had both hands on a patient when their ICD jolted them out of their vtach of 180 BPM and knocked myself into an SVT.
🍺
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u/mheni22 RN - ER 🍕 Sep 26 '24
I don’t think ICD’s use nearly enough joules for that.
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u/BBrea101 CCRN, MA/SARN, WAP Sep 26 '24
That's what the attending said that night as well. 3 ppl watched it happen, and to quote my charge "it was both funny and scary to watch." I've also been shocked so bad from touching a door that my hr has jump 20bpm. So, it shouldn't happen, but it can.
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u/InformalOne9555 RN - Psych/Mental Health 🍕 Sep 26 '24
Never have I ever ripped some nasty farts while alone in the med room
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u/Future-Atmosphere-40 RN 🍕 Sep 26 '24
I scruffed at an emergency last week when i bent down (its the meds) and my colleague only realised when i apologised
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Sep 26 '24
Never have I ever ripped one while bending over in front of a patients family member during a mass transfusion!!! The family member got up and left!!
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u/rezhead Sep 25 '24
Most of those video monitors are being monitored by a CNA on a giant screen with multiple other patients and they don’t hear audio unless they’ve selected that patient. I don’t think anyone heard your ass blast.