r/nursing • u/kpsi355 RN - ER 🍕 • Mar 29 '22

Nursing Hacks What’s a little white lie you tell the completely confused patient?

I’m always telling the cirrhosis dude his truck is in the shop. Then I tell him his buddy dared him to “shoot” his lactulose and give him a sprite chaser.

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651

u/Squildo Pally O’Tiv Mar 29 '22

“Sorry, I can’t take you home. I don’t know how to drive.”

“No thanks. I’m allergic to [whatever piece of food you just offered me], thank you though.”

217

u/NurseMaq Mar 29 '22

I always blame a recent trip to the dentist - I’m not supposed to have hot/cold for a few days.

151

u/Elenakalis Dementia Whisperer Mar 29 '22

Whenever it's snowing - "Do you really want the girl from Louisiana who didn't see snow until she was 30 to drive you anywhere right now?" tends to stop that pretty quickly. I still pass for 20-30ish with my memory care residents, and they don't need to know I've never called off due to snow in the 12 years I've lived up here or that I usually end up picking up/dropping off co-workers on the bigger snows.

"If I see (relative who's been dead longer than my parents have been alive), I'll come get you right away."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about getting up early for school. They're on break this week."

"That scrapple/hogmaw looks great! Why don't you try some?"

34

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

My sister cared for an elderly woman looking for her mom to take her to school. “Don’t worry, today’s Saturday!”

2

u/FanndisTS HCW - Pharmacy Mar 29 '22

I mean, I suspect if you saw that relative you WOULD come get them right away

92

u/celiasem RN - Burn 🍕 Mar 29 '22

I had a patient recently start to get agitated because I said “no thanks” when he tried to offer me pepsi from his meal tray. He started to raise his voice so I lied and said I gave up soda for lent and he immediately calmed down lmao

70

u/FunPitiful3217 Mar 29 '22

I just ate dinner and I am so full right now I couldn't eat another bite.

1

u/CynOfOmission RN - ER 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 30 '22

Then my stomach growls and gives me away

57

u/Juniperq BSN, RN 🍕 Mar 29 '22

Tried something similar to this like “I don’t have a car.” And the patient said “go find a mf who has a car.”

37

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Good call on the food. I heard in nurse say “no thanks, I’m on a diet” which I thought was a good one.

3

u/kimlo274 LPN 🍕 Mar 31 '22

Lol I use this all the time, and if they're pushy or say that I don't need to be on a diet "you should have seen me before I started my diet!"

7

u/AliasBrooks RN - ER 🍕 Mar 29 '22

This is how I avoid the dodgy break room food they offer me. Pretty sure my colleagues think I’m allergic to everything other than chicken and rice.