r/overdoseGrief • u/Knitinka • 23d ago
Seeking Support/Advice My niece
My niece (21) died of an accidental drug overdose last night. I've been spiraling all day. I live in another state and am driving up there tomorrow to be with her mother (my sister) my brother in law, my parents and my siblings. My biggest concern is my sister. How do my other sister and I best support her through this? We're all heartbroken but I just want my sister to be supported. I am at a complete loss.
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u/ListAdditional7778 22d ago
Hello, my brother died 23 days ago and my mother and I are devastated, he was my only brother and only 18 years old, there are days when we need company and others when we need to be alone, only if you try to see that she eats and sleeps, many times we do not want to write messages or receive calls or visits, just let him know that you are there for whatever he needs
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u/Infinite_Location439 20d ago
Hugs to you and OP. My only brother passed end of last year. I am still devastated and it still hits hard. The beginnings were a fog. I appreciated friends that were just there and included me in stuff without expectations and my mood.
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u/Knitinka 5d ago
Oh wow I am so sorry. It has been 20 days today for us. It's the hardest loss I have ever had in my life. Watching my sister and brother in law bury their 21 year old child (that happened on the 27th but the OD was the 15th) broke my heart so much as I have a 21 year old son and 18 year old daughter and a 15 year old son. My sister has 4 other kids age 9-25 who of course are also taking it very hard. They're 25, 18, 13 and 9. My brain has been in such a fog. I spent the second half of August off work and in my hometown to be there for my sister and the rest of my family. It's hard being back home and away from my family again because my sister just seems to really need distractions and to just not be alone which is also how I am feeling. I can't even imagine if it were my own child with how much sorrow I feel. Waking up in the morning and remembering is definitely the worst right now
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u/Outside_Evening_9860 22d ago
Being there is good enough I think, people always remember who was there …
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u/Wyshunu 20d ago
I am so sorry. Overdose grief is so difficult.
There's a group called The Compassionate Friends out here on the 'net, whose specific purpose is to provide support for people who have lost children of any age. You can find them by googling the name. The were of great help and support to me when we lost a grandchild several years ago.
Wishing you strength and patience as you navigate the coming days. My heart goes out to all of you.
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u/MacNcheeseLuverr 19d ago
Honestly just being there for her. Even if that means sitting in silence. Im so sorry for your loss. lost my bf to an OD. He was only 25.
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u/Knitinka 5d ago
Thanks so much for the replies. My brain hasn't been working well trying to process this but thank you.
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u/Unable_Strength_2712 23d ago
Its complex grief, I don't think there's much of anything anyone can say to help, try taking other things off her plate though, cleaning, errands, and things of thay sort, make her feel included and try to get her mind off it even if only for 5 seconds. Im terribly sorry for you guys loss and hope you find a way to overcome the obstacles on this journey 🫶🏼