r/pancreaticcancer • u/Ok_Information_2125 • 3d ago
seeking advice Dad’s pancreatic cancer recurrence
My dad was diagnosed with stage 2b pancreatic cancer in October 2024. He had a whipple on Halloween. He was unable to tolerate chemo and is down to 95 lbs, 5’9”. He found out this week that the cancer has come back in a localized area of the pancreas due to a positive signatera test and PET scan. There are other areas that the report says are highly worrisome, including surrounding lymph nodes. How worried should I be? I feel like his care team are not being transparent about how bad this is. They want to start radiation next week. I am losing my mind and just want answers. TIA
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u/reremorse 2d ago
I’m so sorry. Probably a long shot, considering 95 lbs, unless he was always very skinny: Genetic testing might find some genetic mutations that enable new drugs to target the cancer much more directly than non-targeted chemo. Also look for clinical trials. If his doctor doesn’t answer satisfactorily, check the NCCN for standard protocols: (https://www.nccn.org/guidelines/guidelines-detail?category=1&id=1455 ; you’ll need to get a login which isn’t hard). If you can afford it, consider a well known cancer center. If you’re strapped, use an AI chatbot to make sense of diagnostic complexities, imaging results, treatment possibilities, etc. Even if it turns out there’s nothing you could have done, you may feel better having tried.
OTOH, his and your quality of life count too, and harsh pursuit of every conceivable treatment can also be toxic to peaceful progress.
Consider filming him talking and hopefully smiling, telling stories of when you were growing up, when he was growing up, anything that he wants to tell. Ask him what he’d like you to know now, and also later in the event he isn’t around to tell you. Old people know stuff.
You can still learn from people you knew and cared about who have died. Make him know you’ll grieve him but also that you’ll be ok no matter what. There are grief counselors who can guide you and him through what is or at least can be a remarkable spiritual journey. Strangely, it can be deeply sorrowful yet beautiful, in equal proportion. Best wishes with this horrible disease.