r/pancreaticcancer • u/V0ipguy • 2d ago
seeking advice Life insurance question?
I just started thinking about this after my scan results and given that they were positive I’m hopeful I’ve got at least 2 years left.
i have term and insurance through work that will set my family up (mortgage paid and many years of bills with no additional income). My wife is going to have to watch her spending but staying reasonable she should easily be set up for a decade or more. On top of that the social security payments for my wife and young son will be about $70k per year for the next several years.
What came to mind was doing something specifically for the kids. I know no one will touch us (PC patients) with our diagnosis but AARP has a whole life, guarantee issue, with no medical questions that’s about $60 a month for $10k in coverage. There is a 2 year period before it kicks in but if you pass befor then the beneficiary’s get what you’ve paid + 10% or so a really good savings account.
I know my wife will take care of the kids but I wanted to give them a little extra to do whatever they want with, take some time off work? Take a trip, etc.
Has anyone else done this or have any advice?
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u/Elegant_Cherry_7265 2d ago
I know how tough it is to talk about this stuff, and I can see what a loving, devoted fathar you are.
Your post hit me with a mix of emotions—anger, sadness, love. (Maybe it’s because I lost my fathar to this disease just a few months ago)
I don’t really have an answer to your question, but I just wanted to say congrats on making it through your 5th round of FOLFIRINOX ! . I had a look through your posts and saw the tumor hasn’t spread or grown—that’s not just good, that’s incredible!!
Please don’t lose hope. There are survivors of pancreatic cancer, like u/PancreaticSurvivor
Hold on to that hope—for yourself first, and also for your wife and kids. I’m praying that God gives you healing and strength.
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u/Aware-Locksmith-7313 21h ago edited 21h ago
Where oh where do you get the notion that your widow and “young son” will receive $70,000 per year from SS? … When pigs fly, unfortunately.
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u/V0ipguy 20h ago
It’s easy to look up, just log into your social security benefits. You can also look up the rules but the site will give you exact numbers.
The big piece I didn’t share is that I have a 10 year old child.
I just pulled this.
You have enough credits for your family to qualify for survivors benefits. If you die this year, certain members of your family may be eligible for these benefits: Your child: $2,993 a month Your spouse, caring for a child: $2,993 a month Your spouse (starting at full retirement age): $3,991 a month
I was a bit high on the total since I hadn’t looked it up in a while but close. It’s not for life. Both for 4 years and one for 7 years but it will be a big help.
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u/Cwilde7 2d ago
First, I’m sorry about your diagnosis. As a widow with young children I commend you for your desire to acknowledge the reality of this situation, admit the difficult of this reality, to make sure they will be taken care of as best as possible. I’m guessing you’ve already looked into the notes below but I’ll share with you what I learned through this process.
As far social security payments, those will only apply to your child. Your wife will get a generous $255 or something like that. I cannot recall exactly the amount but it was right around that. The amount for your child is dependent on your income and longevity of SS contributions to date. I thought when I went through the process for my kids, there was a max per month, but don’t quote me on that. If yours is in fact $70k per year for your young son until he is 18 or graduates (side note, if 18 comes before graduation your wife and your child’s school will have to fill out paperwork a few months before your child’s 18th birthday to continue payments. Instead of direct deposit she may get a paper check the last few Mo the if graduation and his birthday are fairly close. Just sharing because this threw me off and you want to avoid having to call SS at any cost), that’s roughly $5800 per month which should be more to an enough to cover your child’s basic expenses depending on where you live, but I would double check with SS on that if you haven’t already.
As far as life insurance goes, it is wonderful you have this for your wife. One thing to think about is if you have LTD or even STD. The reality is that if you can make it to the two-year point, there’s a good chance you will get to the point you will no longer be able to work full time. Without disability, you may need to tap into your life insurance (many policies will advance on a PC DX without question) if you do not have savings and you need to supplement your lost income. I would gather all policy documents, policy numbers and reconfirm beneficiaries and give them to your wife sooner rather than later.
As far as the AARP policy goes, you would have to run the math on how much you can save, plus the 10% less the premiums to ultimately see if it’s worth it.
Lastly, get any remaining legal affairs in order. Give your wife and doctor copies of your advanced medical directive. Share your burial wishes with your wife and family. If you choose the path of a funeral home, look for ones that will provide after-care services. Those were incredibly helpful in coordinating our first SS appointment to get my children’s benefits going, shutting down my husbands credit to avoid fraud from others, etc.
If you do want to use one, research in advance. Thankfully I had a friend who had previously researched funeral homes without my knowing, just in case, after his DX. Because his passing was so unexpected (a month after DX) everything was a whirlwind, being more prepared would’ve helped a lot. I cannot be thankful enough for the amazing funeral director that cared for my husband, handled last minute venue changes, and the unique nuances to his service that were out of the norm. His viewing was on the evening of his 45th birthday. They allowed us to have a birthday party for him where we saved cake to everyone, sang him happy birthday, and let our children and other young nieces and nephews fill his casket with some of his favorite treats, mementoes, our daughters artwork, letters, etc. My husband did not want everything to be sad and boring so we did our best to make it fun and honor his wishes. After having to stand in an endless line for hours, this was a huge reprieve to laugh and cry with all who knew and loved him in this special moment. This particular place was more than accommodating and it did wonders to have that party for my children. Let your wishes be know so your wife isn’t saddled with worrying if she is honoring what you would’ve liked.
Make recordings for your child. I know this can be hard, but as I’m a few years out now and our oldest just graduated, I wish more than anything I would’ve had a video to show our son upon his graduation. Also, if you can muster the courage, share with your wife how you feel about her considering a new partner down the road.
Since you said your recent scans look good, I’m assuming you’ve already done genetic testing and your wife has copies of these reports. These could be helpful for your child when older. Our oncologist encouraged me to save everything. He went so far as to track down the biopsy from my husbands EUS that was used in his DX, to have additional testing done on the tumor after he died, just in case it was needed later. I never received a bill for this, and I have no idea how it happened. On the second Christmas after his passing I received a hand-written note with the Tempus test results enclosed. I still get weepy when I think of his thoughtfulness. Because he died so quickly, we didn’t have time for the pancan test kit to get here and be sent off for testing. He wanted my children to be able to qualify for early screening and not have issues with their insurance carrier when they get older. I appreciate his thoughtfulness as I was just trying to process his DX at the time, and hadn’t even considered it. He did have time for the genetic testing, but not of the tumor itself. He also tracked down copies of his PET scan images that actually arrived in his office the day my husband died, and got those to me as well.
This is all incredibly difficult and I hope that you can beat the odds here! But if not, hopefully being as prepared as possible can bring some peace of mind in all of this. 💜