My autistic brother can't even go to the park without being terrorized by dogs

[u/Fine_Impression3656]

I have a severely autistic brother who’s 21 and non verbal. One thing he really loves is going to the park, so I take him there often. You’d think that should be a peaceful activity. But every single time, without fail, someone’s off-leash dog comes running up to him.

He’s absolutely terrified of dogs. They can sense his fear instantly, and they’ll charge right up, bark in his face, and he ends up screaming and yelling in panic. And then I’m left trying to calm him down while the owner half-heartedly shouts “don’t worry, they’re friendly!” as if that magically makes it okay.

Do you know what that looks like to him? It looks like an attack. It feels like abuse. And it happens over and over because people think their “fur baby” deserves to roam everywhere more than my brother deserves to exist in peace.

It’s disgusting how normalized it is that dogs are allowed to harass vulnerable people in public spaces. My brother has just as much right to use the park as anyone else, yet he can’t enjoy it without being ambushed by someone’s pet.

I hate dogs. I hate their entitled owners even more. And I hate that the world bends over backwards for them while people like my brother get traumatized again and again.

[u/Prudent_Sail5388]

I agree. A lot of dog owners are extremely entitled and think they can do whatever they want while infringing on everyone else’s rights. It’s not fair. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

[u/Primary_Slip139]

Buy an ultrasonic dog repeller, turn it on as soon as one comes nearby. I have ordered one myself as I'm tired of being harassed by these animals while minding my own business in parks.

[u/Fine_Impression3656 → u/Primary_Slip139]

Thanks! I didn't know this existed.

[u/IAsybianGuy → u/Fine_Impression3656]

Search Amazon for anti bark devices. Some are cheap little POS with a ten yard range, others are sonic bazookas. There are also free apps to download.

I got a cheap ten yard device for my parents last fall. Now the shit mouth yappers next door are afraid of my mom and run back to their house as soon as my mom comes outside.

[u/diro178 → u/IAsybianGuy]

Are those safe for children? I have toddlers so i carry pepper spray and an umbrella instead.

[u/IAsybianGuy → u/diro178]

Not sure. I wasn't previously aware of any possible issues. You could download a free app, and ask your toddler if they hear anything or feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't think a few seconds would cause any damage.

IMO, an umbrella and pepper spray is a better if less subtle solution. You are in no obligation to allow a "friendly" dog into your space and have every right to shoo it away with the umbrella.

[u/Primary_Slip139 → u/diro178]

It shouldn't be audible to the human ear. I have children and they've never complained about it. It's not on all the time either, you just switch it on when the dog approaches when it backs off you turn it off again.

[u/jenn5388]

I also have an autistic son who’s 14, 6’1 and 200+ pounds that tries to jump on my back everytime he sees a dog. And we don’t even go to parks or many outdoor places but now they are in Walmart and Home Depot and now no where is safe.

[u/ddmf]

I'm the same, these people think it's ok to terrorise disabled people.

[u/zima-rusalka]

I'm so sorry. I'm also autistic and don't like dogs much because of it (can't handle the sudden noise and the hair/slobber), and this is worse because he's actually afraid of them and he can't communicate that in a way other people understand. Pet nutters caring more about their pets than the safety and wellbeing of disabled people never ceases to surprise me.

[u/IAsybianGuy]

The dog is friendly.

MY BROTHER IS AUTISTIC YOU STUPID FUCK!

Also check if your city has a leash ordinance. Dog nutters might be breaking the law by allowing the dogs off leash. Take pictures and video as proof, tell the owner you're going to the police because their off leash dog is harassing a disabled person. Even if you don't bother actually following through, make the nutter as uncomfortable as possible.

[u/Hand-Cycle-Girl-33]

I'm a manual wheelchair user, paralyzed from the ribcage down due to a spinal cord injury.

The amount of times in public I've had people let their dogs jump on my lap or wheelchair under the guise of "friendliness" is insane! I DO NOT want ANY animal touching me or my wheelchair EVER and each time that happens I'm always the insane one because I express my feelings of displeasure to the pet owner.

My wheelchair is my independence but I still can't make as quick of a getaway compared to an able bodied walking person. I have to be wary about public accessibility and safety every time I leave the house.

Dogs absolutely fall into the DANGEROUS category for me and pet owners acting like they're entitled to let their animals walk up to or jump on strangers, especially physically/mentally disabled or neuro divergent people, is absolutely unacceptable and a total liability for them.

I don't know how it doesn't occur to pet owners that their animals can severely harm or traumatize vulnerable people in public. It's common sense and respect for others!

However, as I've seen here most pet owners seem to be missing half of their brains. 😖

[u/Alocin_The5th → u/Hand-Cycle-Girl-33]

I am really sorry this is happening to you. Dog owners so badly want their dogs to be human children that they’ve blocked the fact that they are animals that other people are rightly afraid of. Someone posted above about an anti barking device. Perhaps this can help you…

[u/Afraid_Proof_5612]

Dog people just don't understand that some of us have zero interest in having our space invaded, all fears aside. I get so many dirty looks when I literally climb on top of things to get away from a dog. I don't care if it's friendly or not, I don't want to be touched!

[u/Mashelem_777]

I feel for your brother I'm so sorry. I hate that these miscreants are constantly traumatizing people who don't want harassed and especially the most vulnerable among us. There's never any consequences for their atrocious behavior and It makes my blood boil.

On a side note when I see the occasional autistic dog owner on social media I'm absolutely stupefied. I don't understand how people with sensory issues can stand being around such a nuisance.

[u/survivorfan95 → u/Mashelem_777]

I think for a small subset of sensory-seeking autistic people, dogs provide some level of comfort (I guess, but could NEVER be me)

[u/Mashelem_777 → u/survivorfan95]

It makes sense that there's some outliers because it's on spectrum, but still incredibly baffling.

[u/ashfinsawriter → u/survivorfan95]

That's what my mom thought getting a dog for me and my brother (both autistic) when we were kids. We both pretty much avoided the dog. The dog would constantly and incessantly lick everything. I'm so disgusted by saliva I struggle to even kiss my boyfriend, so needless to say, that was hell for me.

My parents also trained the dog to scratch the door when he needed to go out as part of potty training. The result: A dog that would constantly be scratching the door and whining because he ALWAYS wanted to be outside. Note that he was a very inactive "lap dog" breed... Still his need for activity and attention was literally endless. Impossible to get him to settle down. Drove us all mad but especially us autistic children...

We ended up rehoming him when we moved and I haven't missed him for a second tbh

[u/DinahKarwrek → u/survivorfan95]

Have you ever seen the Beethoven movies? Literal nightmare

[u/petfree-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your submission has been removed from r/petfree for the following reason(s):

. We are no longer accepting posts/comments by people who own pets or are really into pets. Adding a flair to comment/post if you own pets or really enjoy pets may lead to a permanent ban.

. If these pets will be your last ones please flair accordingly to avoid confusion.

For information regarding this and similar issues please see our subreddit rules . If you feel this was done in error, please reach out to the mod team for review.

[u/Legitimate-Coast2426]

relatable, I hate dogs coming up to me, one time i was with some friends and their fucking dog came to NOT THEM but me specifically. abhorrent, every time I feel like shit i come on here and feel better that I dont have to deal with a disgusting mutt every day

[u/Educational_Gas_92]

As a very verbal autist, I'm so sorry for your brother. I'm also afraid of dogs, even though I have that under control nowadays (my fear), I still avoid places with off leash dogs.

I'm furious for your brother, this has to be very traumatic to him.

Is there some other place that you could take him to? Like a nice coffee shop in a green area? (Unfortunately there could be dogs there too, just less likely off leash).

[u/Fine_Impression3656 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

The botanical gardens in my city are good since dogs aren't allowed, but it takes over an hour to get there. Despite the dogs, he still asks me to take him to the park.

[u/nohopeforhomosapiens]

It feels like abuse because it is.

While awful for him, there is no shortage of non-autistic people that it is equally terrible for. It is dangerous for children and frail people. It is terrifying for those of us who have been bitten. I am not bothered by most dogs but I also don't want some strange animal running at me, especially a pit bull or mix thereof. If one runs at my kid, I will take appropriate measure to ensure it won't happen again.

It is also dog-centric as if other animals don't exist. We have a cat. I don't hate pets, I like the cat, just don't want another one because of the responsibility involved. One of those responsibilities is keeping the cat indoors most of the time where it cannot terrorize small animals or neighbors or get hit by vehicles. However, all animals deserve outside time, as do humans, and living in an apartment means we need to take the cat outside to an appropriate place. We go to a park that allows pets, with the cat on leash, as per the Rules. Inevitably some fucking ass has a 'friendly' dog that is off lead they just turned loose before even looking who was there. Our cat is gentle but has scratched the hell out of me trying to escape loose dogs climbing me like I'm a tree.

[u/Patient_Network7984]

My severely allergic husband just has to deal with it whenever we visit his parents. His siblings have dogs (" but they're hypoallergenic!!"). His needing to breathe is less important to his family than their dogs. Guess who moved 2 time zones away??

I hope the ultrasonic suggestion works for you and your family. Good luck.

[u/ClutteredTaffy → u/Patient_Network7984]

I feel bad for the severely allergic. I can handle working in a big store with open air but certain dogs in a small space will make me have an asthma attack. I am sorry for your husband.

Also hypoallergenic dogs are better but they are not fully hypoallergenic . Especially dogs like golden doodles who may inherit more of the genes from their long haired golden retriever counterparts.

[u/D1verse_Yes4]

“I hate dogs. I hate their entitled owners even more. And I hate that the world bends over backwards for them while people like my brother get traumatized again and again.”

That is such a powerful statement. I’m autistic, slightly younger than your brother, and I was attacked by a dog at the age of nine. There is a small section of flesh missing in my right shoulder. 

You can find a lot of information on my experience on my profile full of comments, but I hate dogs also, and it really hurts to think that dogs get coddled the way they do when people like me unconsensually sacrifice our everyday comfort and peace for them with the societal expectation that we just need to deal with it. This problem has damaged how I feel about a lot of people. It’s too big and stupid of a problem to ignore. 

Your poor brother. I know just how he feels. I’m so sorry. 

[u/ScooperDupper81]

Im sorry for your brother. I remember when I was a kid, my mom and my sister went out to the park. Suddenly, we get charged by an unleashed dog. Luckily, we were both fairly light, so my mom basically shoulder pressed us above herself while the dog circled around her barking at us. Unlucky for me, i was old enough to remember it, and now I kind of dont like dogs.

[u/Particular_Drive45]

It's time to report them so they will have to pay fines for harassing a disabled person in public. Call the police!

[u/surefirerdiddy]

Take that unleashed dog’s charging and barking at your handicapped brother as the threat it is and deal with that threat accordingly. I would also assume there is some kind of law in your area about unleashed dogs so if you see one I’d call animal control or law enforcement.

[u/survivorfan95]

I feel for your brother. I also have extreme anxiety around dogs (AuDHD), and hearing “oh, he’s friendly!” or “he just wants to play!” enrages me.

I can’t stand the mutts that have no self-control, but I hate their owners even more. So sorry your brother is having his happy place ruined.

[u/diro178]

All dogs should be banned. I am so sorry for your brother. Dogs owners are maniacs.

[u/DogAttackVictim]

That doesn't "look like an attack", it is an attack. It doesn't feel "like abuse", it is abuse and oppression. Whether it is a street or a park, in this way, a decent, dog-resisting human being typically doesn't charge at someone and bark threats at their face. Dog owners and dogs, on the other hand, do use violence, racism, sexual violence, and ableism to get what they want. I have physical medical issues and dog owners enjoy inflicting severe pain upon my joints every day, causing lasting pain. Dogs are illegal in most parks and it's illegal to have them off-leash in the first place. Everything in here - the threats of violence, the prolonged harassment, the dog owner taunting you, the trespass in the park, the broken leash law, together (or even individually) all warrants a police call. It's not that the police will solve the problem, it's that if you never actually report a crime then nothing will happen.

[u/FunkOff]

I'm not defending the dogs here, but for your brother's sake, can you coach him on just not being so obviously afraid? Dogs are not very smart, they won't suspect a thing if he can just hide his obvious dread. He could be learn to posture and act aggressively to deter them.

[u/Fine_Impression3656 → u/FunkOff]

He's not there cognitively.

[u/Primary_Slip139 → u/FunkOff]

You are so ignorant.