[OC] inside a British nuclear bunker

[u/PrivateTacticool]

[u/Jezbod]

I like the utility bike to get down the tunnel quicker.

[u/ExtraPockets → u/Jezbod]

Bikes are the most underestimated and underused post-apocalyptic technology in storytelling.

[u/thatstwatshesays → u/ExtraPockets]

Aren’t bikes also the most efficient form of travel?

[u/boot2skull → u/thatstwatshesays]

Very much so when refineries are all destroyed and electric power plants are too, car efficiently approaches infinitely bad when there’s no fuel.

[u/Icy_Ground1637 → u/boot2skull]

Let least the put three beds and a bike for the peasants that are lucky 🍀 enough to stay guarding the radioactive ☢️ door 🚪!!!

[u/ChemicalRascal → u/thatstwatshesays]

Yup.

[u/clueless_as_fuck → u/thatstwatshesays]

[u/ollybee → u/thatstwatshesays]

Only thing more efficient is a group of bikes drafting each other while rotating lead bike.

[u/National-Giraffe-757 → u/thatstwatshesays]

The only transportation mode invented by humans that uses less energy than walking.

[u/an_older_meme → u/thatstwatshesays]

I thought jetliners were pretty close in terms of energy expended per person-mile. Maybe only a bicycle was more efficient.

[u/This_User_Said → u/thatstwatshesays]

[u/Inevitable-Regret411 → u/ExtraPockets]

One of the reasons I love the Expanse novels is they acknowledge this. In the fifth book when Amos finds himself stranded in Earth after the Free Navy accelerate half a dozen astroids into the planet he uses bikes he stole from a survivalist compound to cross the devastated landscape for exactly this reason. 

[u/azhillbilly → u/Inevitable-Regret411]

Expanse was dead accurate in so much stuff. It was like it was written by scientists who knew how things actually work.

[u/wayofthegenttickle → u/ExtraPockets]

I think Max Brookes recommends them in the Zombie Survival Guide iirc

[u/Jezbod → u/ExtraPockets]

The basic models, anything that needs specialist knowledge to setup or particular materials for maintenance, would be useless.

[u/vanalla → u/Jezbod]

it does not take a mechanical genius to set a derailleur and cable-based brakes.

[u/Jezbod → u/vanalla]

I agree, however, what about carbon fibre frames and blue tooth connected gears? Or suspension that requires a special oil / grease to keep working?

The K.I.S.S. principle comes in to effect - Keep It Simple, Stupid.

[u/vanalla → u/Jezbod]

well I learned something about cycling today - did not know electronic shifters existed. That's wild. Yeah you won't find many of those hanging around in the apocalypse, I agree.

[u/Jezbod → u/vanalla]

I have a friend that has them, that and new front forks that cost £3000 on his mountain bike.

The bike is too expensive to ride off road now

[u/vanalla → u/Jezbod]

I used to ride 60km of road like 4x per week about 10 years ago - these would make a lot of sense on a road bike. Not sure the use case for mountain, seems like a lot of things to go wrong given the amount of variables (brush, dust, mud etc) that interfere in mountain biking vs. road biking.

[u/samuelgato → u/Jezbod]

Yeah if that's your apocalypse bike then you picked the wrong bike

[u/BaldBear_13 → u/Jezbod]

just get a $150 bike from Walmart. It will suck, but I am pretty sure it will get you to the next Walmart, where you can rinse and repeat.

[u/Jezbod → u/BaldBear_13]

Yup, hopefully there will be no one camped on the Walmart...

[u/extopico → u/Jezbod]

Carbon fiber? Super easy to fix, if you raid a hardware store and get an epoxy repair kit. With metal frames, you are fucked without electricity and proper knowledge of welding and heat treatment - and some alloys cannot even be welded without very specialized equipment.

[u/Jiminyfingers → u/Jezbod]

There are lots of ancient bikes still chugging about, and every bike shop would be a treasure trove post-apocalypse 

[u/Shnook817 → u/Jiminyfingers]

Yeah, but known treasure troves get emptied first, so, how sustainable would it really be?

[u/Jiminyfingers → u/Shnook817]

Would be easy to keep them running tbfb

[u/ChemicalRascal → u/Jiminyfingers]

A bomb-proof three-by-nine should be fine, a fixie would be golden (but bleh). At some point chain lube will be necessary, and later chain replacement might be necessary, but it'll take a while to run though existing supplies if lots of folks are dead. And by that time it might even be feasible to start making new basic components.

[u/Biolume_Eater → u/Jezbod]

God a new ~20 gear bicycle is not rocket science lol it’s just a gear system

[u/TheRichTurner → u/ExtraPockets]

Mad Max would have been such a wizard adventure!

[u/Sunkinthesand → u/ExtraPockets]

Would have been brilliant in fallout

[u/stretchyman3012 → u/ExtraPockets]

I was surprised that in The Walking Dead, it took them till Season 10 and only when Eugenes group met Princess that they used bikes.

[u/cerberus698 → u/Jezbod]

The entire operation seems so off the cuff. I love it. Hand-written sassy signage notifying people of procedure, a clearly non-standard bicycle just strapped to the wall because the tunnel is annoyingly long.

If this was American, the bicycle would be made by Northrop-Grumman, cost 60,000 dollars, require a 3,000 dollar an hour contractor to change the tire tube and it wouldn't be called a bicycle, it would be the A/N 46BSYQ-10 Personel Quick Ingress/Egress Device.

[u/Jezbod → u/cerberus698]

That is a a fairly standard UK forces issue bike for admin use, maybe not current, but definitely in the past.

[u/Undisguised → u/cerberus698]

I’ve been to this bunker (or at least one very similar) and on display in the admin areas they had these old metal ‘pencil extender’ tubes that would allow you to keep a pencil going right down to it being nothing but a nub. They were clearly planning for people to be frugal post apocalypse.

[u/Sweaty_Sheepherder27 → u/cerberus698]

The entire operation seems so off the cuff.

If you get a chance, visit York Nuclear Bunker. It's so ridiculously ramshackle and useless, I had no illusion after my visit that everyone would have died if the bombs had started flying.

For instance, there's a pinhole camera device on the roof which is designed to detect where the bombs were being dropped. The film in which needed changing every 12 hours or so.

Was there a way to do this without leaving the bunker? No.

Was there a protective suit for the poor bastard who had to go out to change the film? No.

[u/LegitFriendSafari → u/cerberus698]

That sign is very clearly not hand written…

[u/ToastAndASideOfToast → u/Jezbod]

I like that it appears to also have a bell

[u/Jezbod → u/ToastAndASideOfToast]

As is the legal requirement in the UK

[u/toe_knee → u/Jezbod]

You think there’s air in the tires? I wonder if they’re flat and of no use.

[u/golflimalama2]

What’s a wand in this context? Wizards bunker?

[u/cdnsig → u/golflimalama2]

That’s not a wizards bunker because it’s got a bicycle, and everyone knows that wizards can’t ride bicycles.

Because they have crystal balls.

[u/StupidAstronaut → u/cdnsig]

[u/musiccman2020 → u/cdnsig]

This should have more upvotes

[u/aifo → u/golflimalama2]

I'm guessing Geiger counter

[u/DRSU1993 → u/aifo]

Hide in the fridge, like Indiana Jones!

[u/StephenHunterUK → u/aifo]

It's the audio tour device. Which really needs a new version as it dates from the 1990s when this place was originally returned to the family that previously owned the land.

[u/Gudgebert → u/golflimalama2]

It’s just an audio device that speaks info about the bunker at intervals. I went there some years ago. Luckily, it’s nearby, kinda

[u/theguyfromboston → u/Gudgebert]

Thanks for the real non stupid dipshit joke answer

[u/Sloppy_Salad → u/golflimalama2]

I’ve been here a few times - the “wand” refers to the audio tour ‘remote’

[u/OtterishDreams → u/golflimalama2]

ExpectusNobombus!

[u/wondercaliban → u/golflimalama2]

I read wank. Wand makes much more sense

[u/Pumbaasliferaft → u/wondercaliban]

Does it?

[u/wondercaliban → u/Pumbaasliferaft]

Yes, visitors to that bunker use an audio guide wand for the tour. Its a key point of the attraction.

[u/EmmaShosha → u/golflimalama2]

they're exposing everything. this is the entry to Hogwarts

[u/BadahBingBadahBoom → u/EmmaShosha]

"Harry are you sure the bearded man from the park we're following is actually Dumbledore. Because he smells of whisky and I don't think this is a secret entrance to Hogwarts."

[u/ChemicalRascal → u/BadahBingBadahBoom]

-- Dumbledore and the Proper Piss-Up, by Hatsune Miku

[u/gozieson → u/ChemicalRascal]

ft. Kasane Teto

[u/sypher1187 → u/golflimalama2]

Well, duh.

[u/intdev → u/golflimalama2]

Code cylinders?

[u/Randalmize → u/golflimalama2]

Dosimeter?

[u/Ratathosk → u/golflimalama2]

You're a bunkerwizardbuster, Harry!

[u/Ozzie_the_tiger_cat → u/golflimalama2]

The bunker is under Hogwarts.

[u/Edarneor → u/golflimalama2]

Do you get to fight Voldemort in the end?

[u/BandOfSkullz → u/Edarneor]

Your loose lips will get us all killed!

[u/Edarneor → u/BandOfSkullz]

Oh, sorry. I mean, He who must not be named

[u/voltb778 → u/golflimalama2]

it’s a grrrgrrrOmeter

[u/FlinFlonDandy]

Kelvedon Hatch.

[u/annoyingbigbear → u/FlinFlonDandy]

Yep, recognised it instantly. Once filmed a paranormal TV show there. Very interesting place

[u/Geek-Of-Nature → u/annoyingbigbear]

Once filmed a paranormal TV show there

Which one?

[u/running_on_empty → u/Geek-Of-Nature]

The fake one.

[u/gargravarr2112 → u/FlinFlonDandy]

The one where the road signs all around it point to the "Secret Nuclear Bunker"?

[u/richardhero → u/gargravarr2112]

It was secret during the cold war, they didn't have those signs back then lol

[u/ImOkNotANoob → u/gargravarr2112]

Theres more than one! Hack Green bunker in Cheshire has a load of secret nuclear bunker signs around it too *

[u/Far_Estate_1626]

The bike really solves some problems

[u/TheRamblerX → u/Far_Estate_1626]

I came here to post this, but assumed someone already did. Thank you for your service.

[u/GCD_1]

I've stayed the night, its truly an amazing place

[u/MeanYesterday7012 → u/GCD_1]

What does wand mean?

[u/corvaxL → u/MeanYesterday7012]

According to some articles about it, it's an audio guided tour device, and is apparently a necessary part of the tour. It isn't related to safety.

[u/GCD_1 → u/MeanYesterday7012]

idk

[u/MeanYesterday7012 → u/GCD_1]

Dang, they didn’t tell you when you stayed the night?

[u/GCD_1 → u/MeanYesterday7012]

no i just cant remember

[u/Vanethor → u/GCD_1]

[u/Wildweyr → u/MeanYesterday7012]

Youll need it for when the dementors come out

[u/Jiminyfingers]

Any more? 

[u/GCD_1 → u/Jiminyfingers]

photos?

ive got loads i can share if you want

[u/gargravarr2112 → u/GCD_1]

Be interesting to see how close the Atomfall guys got it...

[u/GCD_1 → u/gargravarr2112]

wdym

[u/Severity911 → u/GCD_1]

Atomfall is a recent video game set in post apocalyptic Britain. I think they are wanting to see more photos to compare the game and reality

[u/Lopsided-Meet8247]

You’re irradiated harry

[u/Irishpanda1971]

For some strange reason the first image that comes to mind looking at this is Matt Smith's Doctor riding down this tunnel on that bike. With the fez, of course.

[u/HsuGoZen]

[u/gkaplan59]

"Yer a wizard, Harry"

[u/iwishihadnobones]

A nuclear bunker....for wizards?

[u/TheEschatonSucks]

You’re a bunker wizard, Harry!

[u/RPM_Rocket]

Asks in British, "Well, did it work?"

[u/meheecan]

Prince Andrew’s basement looks the exact same. Wild.

[u/oshinbruce]

Bold of them to assume its no longer needed

[u/andyrocks]

That reminds me of the R3 at RAF Buchan.

[u/cashonlyplz]

More caution signs need condescending ellipses...!

[u/shadorow]

*Forgets wand at home*

[u/lysergic_818]

Expecto Radiation

[u/Alliille]

I want a wand. Where do I go for a wand?

[u/cleenzmacheenz]

The “Wand” is a simple plastic device on a handle which gives you the guided tour through a speaker as you want around this place. It’s largely unstaffed until you get to the shop / cafe at the end, so there’s lots of these type of signs at the start to get you going and remind you that it isn’t a free attraction and you will be obliged to pay at the end …

[u/DeVliegendeBrabander]

Harry Potter and the Minuteman III

[u/Maximum-Replacement4]

Uranium wizArd harry!

[u/an_older_meme]

Looks like the basement of Hogwarts.

[u/chaosandturmoil]

pink fairy princess wand with a flashing star on top like you get at carnivals?

[u/starrpamph]

I’ll have to borrow my wife’s

[u/Poker-Junk]

The wand picks the wizard

[u/Dirk_The_Cowardly]

THAT IS NOT BRITISH!!!!

there are no fish and chip crumbs on the ground.....yeah, i noticed.

[u/addrien]

Just like the British; bland.