r/politics • u/Effective_Salad_8381 • 21h ago

Soft Paywall JD Vance Mocked for Embarrassing WWII History Mistake

https://www.thedailybeast.com/jd-vance-mocked-for-embarrassing-wwii-history-mistake/
10.9k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/citizenjones 21h ago

Eight days after the German in charge shot himself, in a ditch, covered in petrol. 

719

u/PatSajaksDick 21h ago

Man, don't give me hope

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u/citizenjones 21h ago

I don't touch the stuff.

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u/Dubyew 21h ago

Good. The withdrawals are brutal.

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u/hand_truck 20h ago

I don't know about your experience, but my hope withdrawl seems to take about four years to shake. And then I relaspse. And then another four years to shake. And then I relapse. Here's to hoping I can finally break the cycle in 2028. Ahhh, shit, there I go again...

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u/vagina_candle 16h ago

People make the mistake of thinking there is a finish line in politics.

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u/FromTralfamadore 13h ago

Thanks Obama.

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u/Osiris32 Oregon 14h ago

But shes such a happy character in SEC Shorts!

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u/VanceKelley Washington 17h ago

The Nazis lost WW2 because the USA, USSR, and other countries combined to crush the German military.

Today, the USA and Russia are on Team Fascism and are working together to destroy democracy and the rule of law.

Is that fact sufficient to destroy any semblance of hope for the future?

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u/Rynowash 16h ago

You say- America is the axis powers?

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u/Savings_Average_4586 16h ago

Welcome to the fun house of real historic times

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u/AntoniaFauci 13h ago

Republican america.

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u/Tovrin Australia 14h ago

If it was up to Vance, the US wouldn't have been involved.

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u/ohdatgatordead 14h ago

“Are we the Baddies?”

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u/likespb 14h ago

Yes . Yes you are indeed the baddies .

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u/Daedropolis 13h ago

Lack of oil and gas had a lot to do with Germany’s downfall

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u/SilveRX96 11h ago

Being a dictatorship that naturally favors cocksucking and embellishing achievements also didnt help

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u/Spicy_Weissy 20h ago

His tiny feeble hands could never manage to do it himself.

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u/Old-Rhubarb-97 17h ago

I'd settle for a puddle of urine.

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u/Big_sugaaakane1 16h ago

Hope is the first step onto the road of disappointment

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u/Mastershoelacer 12h ago

Your username…is…ummm…weird

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u/PatSajaksDick 12h ago

I’m sorry I’m no Master Shoe Lacer, merely an apprentice

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u/jdm71384 9h ago

"Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is Faith's richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed, addict-bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear." Thanks, Frankie!

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u/Nerbil 21h ago

Dressed to Kill is infinitely quotable every day.

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u/citizenjones 21h ago

I get the feeling it always will be. 

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u/Nerbil 19h ago

Although you left out the “on fire” part, which is very important in this scenario.

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u/pacerguy00 16h ago

Eva darling….

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u/oxygenthievery 13h ago

Well you're gonna need a tray...

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u/QuotesEddieIzzard 1h ago

"And Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol, on fire. So… that’s fun. I think that’s funny! ‘Cause he was a mass murderering fuck head. And that was his honeymoon as well! Double trouble!"

– Eva, let’s get married!

– Where should our honeymoon be?

– Well in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire. I’ve already arranged it, upstairs.

– Oh, how romantic Adolf.

– Yes… I thought.

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u/That_Is_Satisfactory 21h ago

“That’s funny! Cuz he was a mass-murdering fuckhead!”

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u/mike_b_nimble I voted 20h ago

As many important historians have said.

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u/Low-Advertising724 19h ago

That Hitler guy sounds like a real jerk!

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u/MattieShoes 14h ago

The more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

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u/we_are_all_devo 12h ago

I didn't even know he was sick.

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u/Ttokk 20h ago

"Eva, lets marry!"

"And where shall our honeymoon be?"

"In a ditch covered in petrol, on fire. I've already arranged it upstairs."

"Ahh, that sounds lovely."

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u/CraigKostelecky 8h ago

He really was a mass murdering fuckhead, as historians have said.

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u/AxleVest 6h ago

This quote really brings me back to a better time, when YouTube poops were fresh and pedo's weren't running countries

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u/Mockwyn 19h ago

He actually shot him self on a sofa, but let’s not split herrs.

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u/Gilshem 14h ago

That was too schön

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u/lycrashampoo Arizona 6h ago

I'm fuhrerous about it

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u/callmedata1 20h ago

He didn't do that. He shot himself in the bunker and was then thrown in the ditch with his newlywed bride, then burned. Then they went to Russia for their honeymoon.

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u/lenovosucks 18h ago

It’s a quote from one of Eddie Izzard’s comedy specials.

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u/callmedata1 14h ago

Got it. Not familiar. Please accept my apology

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u/Riff_Ralph 13h ago

And Elvis served as best man.

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u/imthatguyyouknow1 20h ago

Eddie Izzard?

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u/varitok 20h ago

Not just covered in gas. They didn't have enough fuel left by then and threw some tires on his corpse to try to keep him burning

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u/mazarax Canada 21h ago

Yes, it could be a swift end, and desirable at this point.

Still, the The Hague tribunal would be denied. Best outcome is a trial for all the world to see.

I guess if Putler takes this route, The Hague could still process his lieutenants.

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u/Phog_of_War 21h ago

I'd love to see a trial or any consequences really. But a hamburder induced infarction will do just fine as well.

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u/GZSyphilis 20h ago

I hope it's at a rally or on live TV so they can't spin it as well. 

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u/I_Love_To_Poop420 20h ago

“President Trump is handling his death better than any president before him and he looks forward to continuing to accomplish more than any president ever will. His doctors say he is in the best shape they have ever seen and will likely have the speediest recovery from death in history.” -Karoline Leavitt

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u/SurroundTiny 20h ago

You're not serious. Even if the US handed him over with his age, finances, and stable of lawyers the judges would still be arguing where the best place to sit is by the time he died.

I don't know what the charges would be. Imposing tariffs?

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u/Crepuscular_Tex 19h ago

There's a very long list

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u/SurroundTiny 18h ago

Sadly it doesn't include "politicians who are complete dicks", or "politicians I strongly disagree with", or simply "politicians I don't like" or they would be delivered in truckloads.

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u/mazarax Canada 14h ago

I was talking about Putler following Hitler’s example in 1945.

You are right: Americans can’t be tried in The Hague.

Look up “The Hague Invasion Act.”

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u/RootbeerninjaII 21h ago

That was his honeymoon!

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u/blood_kite 20h ago

So, that’s fun.

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u/2007Hokie I voted 14h ago

And it's funny

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u/freckle_ 19h ago

I see you, you executive transvestite. 👁️👄👁️ (love a good Eddie Izzard call back)

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u/BaronVonStevie Louisiana 21h ago

to be fair, he arranged to be covered in petrol in a ditch after shooting himself but not before poisoning his dog to death.

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u/Mistrblank 19h ago

What kind of asshole kills their dog…?!? Surely those kind of psychos shouldn’t be in charge of anything.

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u/thatforkingbitch 17h ago

One of his generals killed his 6-7 children with cyanide while they were sleeping. They were ruthless psycho's enough to gas and incinerate people. But killing their own children is so eerie and psychotic. Words cannot describe it.

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u/Count_Backwards 14h ago

Not a general, Minister of Propaganda Goebbels and his wife did it - their 6 kids were injected with morphine so they could then put cyanide in their mouths. They didn't want their kids to grow up humiliated, in a world where daddy was one of the worst criminals Germany had ever produced.

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u/Mr_Bleidd 20h ago

Austrian*

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u/-AdonaitheBestower- 19h ago

Austrians were Germans back then by ethnicity and language

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u/Mr_Bleidd 18h ago

„The Anschluss (German: [ˈʔanʃlʊs] ⓘ, or Anschluß,[1][a] lit. 'joining' or 'connection'), also known as the Anschluß Österreichs (pronunciationⓘ, English: Annexation of Austria), was the annexation of the Federal State of Austria into Nazi Germany on 12 March 1938.[2]“

In January 1933, Adolf Hitler (born in Austria) rose to power in Germany. From then on, desire for unification could be identified with the Nazi regime, for whom it was an integral part of the Nazi "Heim ins Reich" ("back home to the realm")

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u/-AdonaitheBestower- 18h ago

Yea I know. German ethnicity and "the German Reich" as a state are two separate things

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u/hfdsicdo 17h ago

Say what you like about Hitler, but he did kill Hitler

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u/raging-peanuts 14h ago edited 14h ago

I’m trying to square his comments with something like the unconditional surrender of Japan in WW II, after having two Atomic bombs dropped on it.

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u/ardentcase 19h ago
  • Austrian

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u/Mistrblank 19h ago

…on fire.

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u/Swesteel 18h ago

On fire. And that was his honeymoon as well.

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u/atgrey24 Delaware 18h ago

Hitler never played Risk! when he was a kid....

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u/lenovosucks 18h ago

Perfection. Eddie is the GOAT!

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u/NoKnow9 17h ago

Cake, or death?

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u/Stagecarp 18h ago

“So that’s fun.”

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u/11Kram 18h ago

He shot himself in a sitting room in his bunker HQ, and was burnt in a shell hole outside it.

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u/Takkarro 18h ago

I thought it was in a bunker with his wife or something?

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u/StayPositiveRVA 18h ago

So that’s fun.

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u/Orboneiben 18h ago

Promise?

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u/Lord_Schtupp 17h ago

And in less than 4 years after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor

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u/Watcher_of_Watchers 16h ago

Technically, Big H was thrown outside and covered in petrol after he shot himself.

The funniest part is that the German officers above Hitler's bunker interrupted their drunken orgy to come have a look at his majesty's cremation. More of a "lol guys he's on fire" and less of the somber ceremony you'd expect from the SS.

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u/DTopping80 Florida 15h ago

Allegedly

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u/urbanlife78 12h ago

For JD, he would probably end up being crushed by the couch he was violating

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u/AgentIndiana 12h ago

I read that in Eddie Izzard’s voice but pictured Vance dressed as Eddie.

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u/peonypanties 11h ago

The only good thing Hitler did was kill Hitler.

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u/Zarmazarma 8h ago

Vance might have a point here. This is a compromise I can get behind. 

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u/kankurou 8h ago

hitler shooting himself in the head was a negotiation tactic, it's called the art of the deal

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u/breigns2 7h ago

*Austrian

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u/JurisDoctor 7h ago

*Austrian.

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u/PaleBlueDave 20h ago

* Austrian