[Question] Regarding CPS

[u/_abusethrowaway_16]

My and my girlfriend are discussing calling CPS on her abusive and narcissistic mother. Can someone with experience explain the process, and help with some questions? Before we make the call, we'd just like to know what we're getting into. The specific questions we had were the following, but please feel free to add any additional info:

• What information would we need to have on hand?

• Is the reporting process anonymous?

• What protection is available for the children during the process?

• How quickly can we expect things to be accomplished?

• What evidence will they require?

[u/c-smash]

Sorry for the delayed response - I wanted to wait until I got to work and I could check our resource list. There are tons of online youth chats - if you Google "youth crisis chat online," several results pop up. I even saw some for different states, so your state might have one, too. That would be her best option. If your state does not have a youth chat, any of the national ones will work.

Until you feel ready to make the call, document everything - and I do mean everything. Mom called her a name? Write it down with the date and write out how it made her feel. Is she having trouble concentrating in school or on tasks because of how it makes her feel? Having trouble sleeping? Constantly stressed? Document all of that. Those details are what's important, at least here in my state. It can't hurt to have that info anywhere else, either.

That's unfortunate that there are no family members close by, but it sounds like the father could be a source of support. I hear you on the thought that he might not be able to keep things a secret.

I also want to commend you on your willingness to help and support her. Having someone support you makes a world of difference in these situations - just knowing that someone else knows and agrees that the treatment is terrible is comforting. Doesn't make the situation any less awful, but having someone support you helps you get through it.

If you guys do decide to call CPS, feel free to ask me any further questions. I wish you both all the best and I hope she is able to find peace soon.

[u/_abusethrowaway_16 → u/c-smash]

It's no problem! And sorry for the delayed response myself; it's been a stressful few days.

I'll certainly look up those resources you listed. Hopefully we can find something to help.

What about audio or video recordings? The state she lives in has conflicting rulings on whether they are single or all party consent states, but I thought there may be exceptions for CPS or child abuse. I'll certainly tell her to write down everything and take pictures of any evidence on her body, but I thought audio recordings might be more tangible evidence for CPS.

Thanks again for the kind words and encouragement. We both have our difficulties with our parents and it's truly amazing how much just having someone to listen can help.

I do have one more question. I plan on posting this to /r/RBNLegalAdvice, but I thought you might be able to point me in the right direction without a separate post. She has a documented diagnosis of dyslexia and dyscalculia, but the diagnoeses were done in Mexico. For some bizarre reason her school refuses to accept these and requires English documentation. My family has experience with dyslexia and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, but I can't find the specific part of the bill that explains that schools are required to test children for free if there's a possibility of a learning disorder. I know it's there, and even other websites list that as a part of the bill, but for some reason I can't find the info on the official idea.ed.gov website. Any info you could provide would be helpful.

Would you mind if I PM you later if we have more questions, rather than continuing the discussion in the comments? It might be easier and less public, which I think I'd prefer.

[u/c-smash → u/_abusethrowaway_16]

You can absolutely PM me later! I'll start looking up the answers to your questions, too, and see what I can figure out.

[u/_abusethrowaway_16 → u/c-smash]

Thank you so much!