r/randomactsofkindness 15d ago

Story My autistic child's first flight went poorly. What happened afterwards shocked me.

We took our first flight with my 6 year old who has level 3 autism and severe sensory processing disorder. The flight was from St Louis to Newark, NJ so it was nearly 3 hours. I prepared in every possible way, scared to death she was gonna have a meltdown mid air. I brought the iPad, speech generating device, earplugs, compression vest, weighted blanket, sensory toys. None of it mattered about 2/3 of the way through the flight when my daughter decided she wanted to go home.

For nearly an hour she screamed her little lungs out. She has a scream that is hard even for me, her mother, to endure. She kicked and flailed. I had to pull her onto my lap, wrap my arms around her and my legs around hers. Occasionally she'd wrench free and hit me. I closed my eyes and tried to shut my mind to the fact that my lowest parenting moment was happening in front of a hundred strangers who were all trapped having to witness it. When we finally landed, I burst into tears walking down the aisle.

This was back in april. As overwhelming as the flight was, I'm still more overwhelmed by what happened afterwards. A man who had been seated by us carried our luggage for us. A woman, also traveling with a young child, spoke to me with such warmth and kindness it was clear she meant it. She told me that I was a good mom, and I did everything I could to try to calm my daughter. She said people understand autism more now, and the people on the flight knew she couldn't help it. Her boy wanted to get going and she said, "We will in a minute. Right now we're helping." Another passenger started telling my daughter in ASL that she was beautiful. She said she worked with kids who were nonverbal and that everything was going to be okay. Yet another passenger, a doctor, asked if we needed any help. A literal crowd of the same people we tortured for an hour, who probably couldn't wait to get out of that airport, took the time to make sure we were okay.

Sorry this turned out so long. I wish I could tell those people that they made me less fearful of the future, less afraid of my daughter being rejected by a world that doesn't understand her.

Edited to add: when I wrote this post I wasn't expecting this kind of response at all. It meant to serve the purpose of expressing my gratitude for my fellow passengers in a way I couldn't that day. I expected it to go largely unnoticed, or to be fodder for trolls. That so many people responded to this post with the same kindness and compassion proves to me that this world is not the cold, indifferent place I've spent much of my life believing it is. or if it ever was, it's because i made it that way. You all make me want to give the same kindness to the world at large that you have shown. If all of you are out there, the world has hope and I want to be part of keeping it that way.

I cut my teeth on internet forums where it was the norm to reply to each comment individually. I understand that's not done so much here on reddit but I will still say thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. You've made my heart more open.

5.1k Upvotes

125 comments sorted by

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1.0k

u/SandpaperPeople 15d ago

The kindness of strangers never ceases to make me tear up a bit. Thank you for sharing this.

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u/Elsie_the_LC 15d ago

I really gives one hope. We hear so much negative that it is so nice to hear OP’s lowest parenting moment turn into one of help and kindness from complete strangers.

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u/SkinnyAssHacker 15d ago

Exactly. This brought tears to my eyes. Humanity is capable of great cruelty, but also great kindness. I love to hear the stories of the kindness.

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u/Gullible_Rice_274 14d ago

same

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u/Gullible_Rice_274 14d ago

Reading this will make me a better person.

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u/nylorac_o 15d ago

Same.

It reminds me that I should make an effort to help someone too. Thank you OP for reminding me that every little gesture is appreciated.

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u/Used_Clock_4627 14d ago

Man I really, really hope this is true, if not for OP than for SOMEONE out there. If it is true, thanks for sharing OP!!! Truly.

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u/TheAlienatedPenguin 14d ago

It DOES happen.

I was at the airport picking up family. There was a mom at her wits end with her infant and toddler, while dad was frantically waiting in their luggage. Both kids were crying, you could tell they were exhausted.

Some folks avoided them, but a couple people smiled and offered kindness. I walked up to her and said that I knew it had been a long day, that they were exhausted, tired and hungry, but that they were doing a fabulous job, that anyone who said they should do better was wrong and that a lot of folks have been in their situation and they are not alone. When we were leaving, they had gathered their luggage, baby was asleep and they were heading out the door

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u/Used_Clock_4627 14d ago

👍

Thanks for sharing!

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u/Plebian401 15d ago

This fear has kept us from flying. Thank you for restoring our faith in people.

P.S. You are an awesome mom!

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u/Forsaken_Dog822 15d ago

May I ask how are you traveling in order to avoid long periods stuck in the same bus/train/I don't know? I'm genuinely curious ❤️

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u/Plebian401 15d ago

We simply don’t go on long trips often. We’ve traveled a few hundred miles by car but that’s about it.

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u/D1xieDie 14d ago

If I may: look into a weighted or elastic posture harness (or personally shibari, but YMMV). Having that upper chest “security shell” is incredibly calming, and can be worn subtly in most cases. It cna make me survive the trainwreck that is Newark international

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u/Plebian401 14d ago

Thank you for your advice. I’ll look intro it. You have given many people hope. Thank you. My daughter has sensory issues and limited speech. Your story made me consider taking a short flight to see how she would do.

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u/yooperann 15d ago

I am so glad to read this. It gives me faith in humanity and hope for the future.

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u/Terrible_Patience935 14d ago

The world seems like a colder, meaner place right now. Thanks for the reminder that there are so many people, maybe most people, are kind and caring when the chips are down

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u/7thatsanope 15d ago

This was the people around you seeing and understanding the difference between a kid throwing a tantrum and a parent doing nothing about it vs your child who was having a meltdown and you doing everything you possibly could to help and calm your child.

Your daughter wasn’t being a brat, she was having a meltdown that she had no choice about having. You were well prepared for the flight with activities and comfort items to help her throughout the flight. And when she couldn’t handle it all and had a meltdown, you didn’t sit by doing nothing, you parented your child in the best way you possibly could given the setting. You did everything you possibly could to comfort her, calm her, and to manage her meltdown the best you could when there was no possible way to remove her from the things that were triggering her meltdown.

That isn’t a parenting failure, that’s parenting as well as anyone could have in a very challenging situation. You couldn’t just walk outside away from the crowd and noise, you didn’t berate her for something she couldn’t control, you didn’t ignore the problem… you were prepared with a reasonable set of tools to help her and you took action to limit the screaming, hitting, and kicking as much as possible.

Those other passengers didn’t see you failing as a parent, they saw you struggling with a very challenging situation and actively parenting your daughter through that situation. They saw a good parent doing her best in a hard situation.

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u/GemmasDilemma 15d ago

Kindness given freely is priceless.

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u/LeatherRecord2142 15d ago

As a former ASD pre-school teacher this story made my week. Thanks for sharing. Keep going, mom; you’re doing great!

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u/Scary-Narwhal-2828 15d ago edited 14d ago

I’m so glad people were kind. We could all use more kindness and understanding.

When my son was born during an emergency C-section, I was given too much anesthesia. He and I both stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. He was given CPR, which resulted in a bilateral pneumothorax. He was in the NICU for eight days and on oxygen most of that time.

My dad was flying out to meet him for the first time (my parents’ first grandchild!) later that week. It was a cross-country flight, and he was seated next to a mom with a young child who cried the entire six hours. The mom apologized to my dad profusely. He loves kids (we all do; my mom was a pediatric nurse, and I’m a MS and HS teacher), and he told me he just smiled at her and said, “My grandbaby was just born not breathing. Hearing a child who is able to cry right now is the best sound in the world.” I’ve always admired his kindness and maturity. He’s a good one.

You are doing a wonderful job, mama. Keep going. 🩷

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u/melaine7776 15d ago

What a sweet story. Yay! For your dad.

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u/Scary-Narwhal-2828 15d ago

Thank you so much! I’m really blessed to have him for a dad. He’s a good man.

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u/Plenty-Bug-9158 14d ago

Oh wow, this story got me. 🥹

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u/Scary-Narwhal-2828 14d ago

🩷🩷🩷

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u/Grand-Goose-1948 15d ago

Thank you for sharing. I hope this inspires all of us to be there for others and let them know it’s going to be okay. That’s all we want, to know everything’s going to be okay and we’re all in this together.

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u/Ok_Ingenuity_9313 15d ago

I just cried reading this. I have a son with autism and he cried nonstop on a plane while we were waiting for take-off. The flight was delayed and we were just sitting there in a full plane, while he cried and I kept up a nonstop stream of soothing chatter.

The woman sitting directly behind us leaned forward and said "You're a good Mom." It meant so much to me. That was 23 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.

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u/D1xieDie 14d ago

He does too.

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u/SanityInTheSouth 15d ago

All of the ugly we hear about every day, all of the cruelty being inflicted on others... and then a story like this. This did 2 things for me. First, it restored my hope in humanity a bit, and second... it drives me to be more understanding the next time I am on a flight or in the presence of a screaming child. Thank you for sharing this... I believe we all needed to read it.

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u/mike_owen 15d ago

A lot of your fellow travelers have been there, and even those that haven’t showed up with their empathy. :)

When our daughter was nearly three, she had a night terror about two hours from landing on a London-Seattle flight. Screaming at the top of her lungs, eyes wide open but not “awake”. She was better when she was allowed to sit in the aisle, but when we needed to pick her up for landing, it was like she was being poked with hot irons. We tried to explain what a night terror was to the horrified passengers and flight crew, but we didn’t get much sympathy. They just thought we were bad parents for allowing our child to disrupt the flight for everyone else.

This lasted all the way through immigration (the people in the long line ahead of us let us skip to the front), and as we’re about to get on the train to take us to the main terminal, she woke up. Completely oblivious to what had been going on.

I’m so happy your fellow passengers showed you the grace and caring you deserved.

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u/BeepBeep_101_ 14d ago

Oh man. My younger brother had night terrors for a while when he was around six, and those are truly something else. We pretty much got into a routine of handling them as a family, as they happened almost nightly. I can’t imagine going through that while traveling. ❤️

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u/QueenSaphire-0412 15d ago

Great job parenting! It truly does take a village! You packed and prepared… but children are always on their own time and schedules. ALL children. Please don’t ever forget this. My granddaughter is autistic and we have our days. I’m proud of both of you for taking this trip! I’d say it was still a success. Hopefully next time if there must be a next time, your little one will do well with her trip. She may have stressed due to the surroundings and all the people. Great JOB OP! And great job little village!

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u/HollowsOfYourHeart 15d ago

Hell yeah. I love that your flight community supported you and comforted you. You did great!

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u/Sealion_31 15d ago

Awww I’m so glad people were kind and empathetic. You and your daughter definitely deserve it. It also seems like you really did everything in your control to make the flight go smoothly. There are things in life beyond our control and most people can relate to that.

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u/DiamondOk8806 15d ago

This is the best post Ive ever read in this sub. Please don’t let fear of your daughter’s reaction to travel stop you from traveling if you want/need to. I always help Moms in anyway I can on airplanes and this just proves there is a whole community of amazing people flying around out there who get it and want to help.

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u/imperfectsunset 15d ago

This is so good ❤️

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u/Skinnybet 15d ago

You clearly were doing your best and that showed to the other travelers.

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u/Piano-Beginning 15d ago

Reading this made my day better! Thank you kind strangers for being so kind.

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u/Mlietz 15d ago

Best thing I’ve read all day!

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u/Born_Ad8420 15d ago

This made me a bit teary. I'm glad to heartened to hear that so many people showed you and your daughter compassion and support.

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u/NotMyCircuits 15d ago

So glad to hear you encountered kind people.

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u/mommagoose4 15d ago

There are those of us, when flying, whom practice love, kindness, and understanding. You and your daughter can sit next to me!

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u/Trin_42 15d ago edited 15d ago

I have a 6yo, and her meltdowns consistently happen when she’s hangry. She gets so engrossed with what she’s doing that she doesn’t eat, and getting her to cooperate with anything is impossible. You tried Mom, you did your best to prepare, it’s clear those fellow passengers saw how hard you tried too. Your efforts weren’t in vain, we see you.

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u/Good-Ear-7875 15d ago

I’ve been there. Middle of Disney world my then 6 year old burst into full ASD meltdown. In 2005, people knew less then. He’s 26 now, and he’s grown into a wonderful wonderful human

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u/Classic-Ad-3310 15d ago

I haven't shed a tear in a long, long time...until now

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u/PolkadottyJones 15d ago

I will never forget the mom who showed me so much kindness on my daughter’s first flight. I hope one day I can pass that same kindness on.

I am so glad you and your daughter got support. I hope one day things like flights can be based in accommodation and comfort, not solely profit.

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u/Intentoatmeal 15d ago

For you or anyone else traveling in similar circumstances with a child who will make noise, please know the vast majority of people arent judging or bothered. It's always harder on the parents' ears to hear their own child crying than anyone else who can simply tune it out and are not responsible for handling it. 

 As a parent myself if I saw this i would either be wondering how to help or just be thinking you're an amazing parent for doing all this with your level of patience and calm to be admired. It's true people understand autism more now than in previous decades. Or even crying infants or children of all ages dealing with anything. Flying is tough.

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u/RedHeadedStepDevil 15d ago

When I see a child having a meltdown, and the parent doing their best to provide comfort, I always think, “Oh, man, I’ve been there before.” And honestly I’m grateful to have move through that. lol. But I don’t want to distract the parent from what they’re doing to offer words of support or empathy.

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u/verukazalt 15d ago

I don't tear up much, but this made me. Bless those strangers, and bless you and your daughter.

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u/CryptographerDue2402 15d ago

When we traveled last year, our first flight back home was delayed and my autistic 2 year old was not happy by the time we made the last flight and screamed the entire time. We apologized profusely after spending the entire time trying to calm him down. Everyone was honestly so kind and understanding, even complimenting us on how we handled it. It was our first trip anywhere as a 3 person family but everyone’s kindness was so appreciated. O feel this. I’m glad they were kind to you and your daughter as well.

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u/Hazmat1267 15d ago

I love this so much! As a parent of two autistic children and a therapist who works with autistic children this makes so happy to hear. I feel like the advocacy that has been done by so many people to help others understand that it’s not anyone’s fault these things happen has been successful!

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u/Awkward-Bumblebee999 15d ago

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It gives a smile to my face to hear about the kindness of people out in the world. With so much going on in the world today, it's always nice to hear about the empathy and compassion of others. I'm glad your little girl made it through the flight. Thanks again for sharing!

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u/fishfishbirdbirdcat 14d ago

So glad people were kind to you. This is traumatizing for the parent and really sticks with you. My child had a meltdown in an airport in 2000 at about 3 years old. I'd never even heard of autism, it was just considered bad parenting and bad child. Of course I knew it was neither and didn't blame her for being overwhelmed. I was terrified she was going to get lose from me and run off in the airport and I ended up sitting on the bathroom floor with my arms wrapped around her as she screamed for 15 minutes while getting disapproving looks from everyone. Not one person asked if I needed help.  I remember once she calmed down and we got on the short 3 hour flight, she knocked out immediately from exhaustion and when we bumped down to land it woke her up yelling "I'm scared I'm scared". 

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u/Busy-Feeling-1413 15d ago

Crying over this beautiful story of you and your daughter doing your best and people understanding and choosing to help and be supportive! We need more bystanders to be kind in this world!

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u/sugabeetus 14d ago

I will say, as someone with my own sensory issues who dreads being near small kids on a flight, the way the parents handle it makes all the difference in whether I am enduring or enduring furiously. I know kids and babies will make noise, move around a lot, and occasionally lose their shit. I don't blame them. But the difference between a screaming child sitting next to a parent who is ignoring them vs a parent who is at least making an appearance of trying to calm or distract them is enormous. You are aware that overstimulation manifests as emotions. So if I'm trying to keep my cool and use my own tools like headphones or whatever, feeling resentment on top of it basically negates all my coping strategies. In this case, it wouldn't be hard to tell that this was not a normal crying child situation. I would be upset that it was happening on my flight, but even more sympathetic to you for having to deal with it, and having to worry about what everyone else was thinking. I would definitely be one of the people offering assistance and kind words.

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2

u/RueTabegga 15d ago

Spread the love!! Love will always win!

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u/GhostOfMufasa 14d ago

🙏🏿💜

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u/CockeyedPessimist 14d ago

I wonder why the doctor waited until you were disembarking to offer help.

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u/Mother-Win-3557 14d ago

What could the doctor have done?

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u/CockeyedPessimist 14d ago edited 14d ago

I don't know. Same thing they could have done while disembarking?

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u/Heeler_Haven 14d ago

I'm glad you got that support afterwards. Most of us can recognize when a parent is actively trying to help their child in a difficult situation, and absolutely sympathize with them. It's the parents that aren't trying to intervene that we lose patience with. It definitely sounds like you did everything you could, both to prepare and in the moment. You are doing a fantastic job.

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u/Ok-Candy5662 14d ago

You’re an amazing Mom! Thinking about others as well as your own child. You may want to consider Amtrak train next time for travel. My nephew was mesmerized by the scenery & the rhythmic rocking of the train. Put him right to sleep! 👍🏻😁 Much larger area than just being confined to one small seat. I believe you can reserve a larger area for families.

I know it takes longer, but YOUR peace of mind is important too! Take care OP. ❤️

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u/KingBretwald 14d ago

I sat just behind a mom whose kid had been pretty good all flight. But when it came time to land, the kid had an absolute screaming meltdown about having the seat belt fastened. That mom hung onto the fastened buckle like grim death all through the approach, landing, and taxi to the gate. I gave her a big thumbs up, because that mom made SURE her kid, and the rest of us, were safe during the landing. Good for her.

Good for you! And good for your fellow passengers.

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u/Holiday-Book6635 14d ago

…and here is why. People could see you were trying to address this situation. The public has no patience for the parents who let their children run wild and don’t even pay attention to them. That’s a big difference.

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u/Point_Plastic 14d ago

People know the difference between a parent who cares and a parent who lets their child do whatever they want, even if their kids are exhibiting identical behaviors.

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u/dmmollica 14d ago

Beautiful

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u/Zealousideal-Self-47 14d ago

Sending you and your daughter a big grandma hug..if I was on that plane I would’ve helped you too.

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u/fearabolitionist 14d ago

Oh thank you for posting this. It made me weep with joy!

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u/Adventurous-Tutor-21 14d ago

That’s beautiful 🥲 thank you for sharing.

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u/Iggypoppins63 14d ago

In times when we hear so much about the cruelty of mankind, your post is a a beautiful tribute and proof that there are still many kind and caring people around us. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.❤️

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u/sambqt 14d ago

This is such a wonderful thing to read after seeing and hearing of all the horrendous behavior from airplane passengers recently.

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u/Responsible_Craft846 14d ago

This made me cry - the kindness of strangers!

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u/Opposite_Birthday_80 14d ago

You sound like an amazing mother. I am so glad that your daughter has you.

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u/Efficient-Cupcake247 14d ago

Thanks!! This story was one my heart needed today. Blessings to your and your family

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u/ShancySweener 14d ago

I truly love this for you. That flight must've been so hard for you and your daughter. ❤️💔❤️

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u/Acrossfromwhwere 14d ago

Well now I’m crying

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u/SadSirenSongs 14d ago

Stories don't get me, but this one legitimately made me tear up. I always have such sympathy for kids on planes, I wanna scream cause my ears hurt too and I would also like to go home. This shouldn't be such an awe inspiring story, that should just be how people are to each other. But we live in a society and the fact that these people made sure to show you community is so very beautiful. You did good, you did everything you could, and I'm really proud of you.

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u/Alternative-Poem-337 14d ago

I needed a reminder than not all people are evil. Thank you.

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u/blottymary North America 14d ago

I’m literally crying, this is such a beautiful moment, despite a horrible situation. I’m glad you had so many people who cared about you and your daughter ❤️🥰

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u/roofhawl 14d ago

This made me ugly cry. There is still such beauty in this world

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u/Salt-Environment9285 14d ago

this is why i love this sub. 💙

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u/Ga-Ca 14d ago

So glad your experience was so positive.

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u/AgateDragon 14d ago

Your story gives me hope for human kind!!

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u/examinat 14d ago

You deserve this kindness and so much more. I’m glad the other passengers gave it to you.

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u/fencermummy 14d ago

Wonderful story❤️hugs to you and your little girl.

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u/opalfossils 14d ago

Goodness always wins🙏👍👍🥹

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u/B00k_Worm1979 14d ago

I’ve never been on a plane with an upset child, but as a mom…I would try to help too.

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u/RosesRlySmellLykPoo 14d ago

God this is incredible.

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u/Odd-Tourist-80 14d ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this. I really needed your story tonight. Thank you.

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u/Wish-ga 14d ago

Ear plugs are not doing the job. Does she not have noise cancelling headphones?

The sound of the plane humming is skull splitting to me.

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u/ImaginationTop5390 13d ago

I’m so happy you and your daughter were surrounded by the love of strangers. It is a remarkable experience. Hugs 🥰

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u/Jerseygirl2468 13d ago

This was lovely to read, thank you for sharing. I'm going to think about this next time I see someone in a similar situation.

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u/Infinite_Theory7559 13d ago

As a aunt of a non verbal Girl with angelmans syndrome I hope others understand the gift of understanding and patience

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u/AnarchyMinx 13d ago

Why dont you give them xanax?

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u/Hidingfromsome0ne 13d ago

In Europe we have the sunflower badge. They see it and you don’t have to explain everything. Our experience so far is pretty good.

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u/xikipilli 13d ago

Autism Flies is not in all airports but may be an option for some people:

https://autismchecked.com/autism-flies/

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u/us2bcool 13d ago

I don't get teary eyed from reading Reddit posts, except for this one.

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u/TotalChemical6975 13d ago

Kids can be tough on a plane. It sucks, no way around it. But the only thing that pisses me off about it is when a parent is not actively trying to manage them. Parents that sit back and just, 'buddy dont do that' while doom scrolling are the real AH

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u/Ok-Refrigerator2000 13d ago

People on flights can tell the difference between kids having legitimate meltdowns (for many reasons) and bad parents who just let their kids go wild.
I was on a 14 hour flight with a young boy sitting in front of me. He had some sinus/ear issue. So when we hit altitude. Poor boy was in misery, banging his seat in pain. His parents did everything they could to calm and console him.

Instead of being upset, everyone around offered blankets, medication, game systems, hot and cold compress, and kind work. We all just accepted that his misery was going to be our life for 13 hours and dealt with it. I used my husband seat tray lol. Thankfully he did tire himself out and got some sleep.

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u/KindredWoozle 13d ago

Wow! Thanks for sharing your experience.

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u/Forward-Ad4150 13d ago

Thank you for sharing.

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u/FantasyCplFun 13d ago

Love and compassion is what the world needs more than anything else right now. This is BEAUTIFUL.

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u/gratefulredsox 12d ago

My girlfriend is a autism advocate. She would've been right there with you. There are some good people out there.

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u/Coffee-fairy9858 12d ago

That’s so amazing, most of the time you only hear and see how awful people can be and to hear this made me tear up, I love stories like this.

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u/IDunnoWhatToPutHereI 12d ago

I have been flying internationally with my 2 yo by ourselves lately and people are so kind on planes/airports. We try to be respectful but that last 20 hour trip nearly broke me. Everyone at the airports know his name because I am constantly calling for him trying to get him moving again. Then at the end of the trip, they were holding our luggage. 7 minutes from the time the plane landed they put it on the carousel and let it go around 3 times. We had to go to the bathroom, as well as walk across the airport so it was empty when we arrived. It took us an hour to find someone to track down our luggage. A sweet woman offered to buy me a coffee which I declined because my goal was to sleep asap.

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u/Tamarack_Yellow2977 12d ago

Thank you for sharing this.

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u/frecklesirish 12d ago

Sometimes... Sometimes humans can be pretty awesome ❤️

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u/Competitive-Push-715 12d ago

Full body goosebumps. I truly believe people are inherently good

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u/AnnieJones70 11d ago

Sending so much love to you and your daughter. The world needs more people like those on that flight

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u/Forward_Zombie_8997 11d ago

Posts like this give me hope for the world. Thank you for sharing 🤍

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u/HugeLittleDogs 11d ago

That was Awesome!

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u/PrizeRecognition2537 11d ago

More and more people are starting to learn about special needs children and they God bless and you are a great person don’t do stuff for attention and that the parents are just as overwhelmed as everyone else.

0

u/thisisoptimism 14d ago

But for the grace of God and the fact I'm not as strong as you obviously are❤️ I would be one of these kind strangers trying to help for sure. Bless you Mom.

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u/_byetony_ 15d ago

Feels like sedating her may have been safer and less traumatic for all involved

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u/Aggressive_Dirt3154 15d ago

Pretty sure you can't just sedate kids to make life easier.

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u/Ilikepumpkinpie04 14d ago

Benadryl or melatonin has helped many people sleep on a plane. I do it on long haul flights. I have a family member that takes a Xanax before flying to help with anxiety. Flying can be very tough on many people and the occasional medication can help you get through it. I don’t take melatonin at home to sleep but will on a red eye flight

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u/Aggressive_Dirt3154 13d ago

There's a difference between "this makes me anxious and will take a medication for it" and "my kid is going to act up so I'm going to sedate them and make life easier for myself" 

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u/Ilikepumpkinpie04 12d ago

And easier for the child. How anxious was she feeling while screaming on the flight? Children experience anxiety too. Many people with Autism have anxiety. Treating the anxiety can improve quality of life. I’m not saying sedate her all the time to make mom’s life easier, but if she is one of the many people with Autism who have co-occurring anxiety, treating the anxiety may improve her quality of life.

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u/Aggressive_Dirt3154 11d ago

You're not wrong, but the op left the perfect response here and I trust their judgement. Have a good day. 

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u/Forsaken_Creme1842 15d ago

I think that would be choosing to make myself more socially comfortable by depriving my child of life experience. As a mother I cannot do that. She deserves to experience the good, bad and even ugly of a fully lived life. Every experience teaches us. I want my child to understand that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to. Sometimes you don't have a choice, or you have to choose between two undesirable options. I will continue to try to help her develop coping skills. But how can she learn to challenge herself and grow without going through even the mundane aspects of life like traveling? How do children become adults if their parents spare them of anything unpleasant or hard?

Do you think I should have more limited hopes for my daughter because she has autism? If so, all I can say is you haven't met my daughter.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mountain-Let-Snow 14d ago

OP - 💜 Well stated and I don't recall the circumstances of your flight and it doesn't matter to me. Don't lose your desire to experience your life and make the best of the situation.

The ark- I took a beat to go move some 40lb bags for 30min. Glad I did bc I'm going to say this instead:

This community is literally about sharing examples of being a better human in what can feel like a terrible world. I hope you stick around and learn more from this sub. Keep growing, feel free to leave or block the toxic subs. You and the other one got my 👎 - for good reasons.

All - Great leadership means looking inward first and not lashing out first. It's hard. Our instincts are strong. It takes intention and effort to undo the place where we are in order to grow toward who we want ourselves and others to be. Learning is part of the process and I wish all success in your unique and shared journey.

Be well and be kind to each other.