r/recovery • u/Ok_Acanthaceae7443 • 9d ago
Romanticizing my past life
I am currently 19 and enrolled in my local community college. I find myself missing the life I used to have even after attempting to rebuilding it as terrible as it was. I went to college a fent user quickly transitioned to cocaine after my plug got arrested and I did not want to make the side quest to a different city everyday. As terrible as my life was I still had friends and a social life. Now I've moved back home, finished late community service that I was convinced was going to get me sent back to jail and got a part time job while doing community college online and staying Cali sober for about the past half a year. Even though everything seems to be on the up I miss my junkie friends and the stupid shit we used to get into. Unfortunately im still a thrill seeker at heart so im wondering if anyone has any ideas other than trying to remember what it was like at the time.
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u/ThreeKos 9d ago
You are romanticizing and it's good you're aware of that. You're overlooking the memories of being strung out, broke, homelessness, legal issues, lying, etc. (typical shite that accompanies addiction).
I relapsed this week. Got high af and fucked two broads I met that day in a 10 hour window. Fun hijinks? Not even close to worth the come down, scene caused, etc.
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u/physithespian 9d ago
Seek some thrills. Go rock climbing or take a kayak out on a river. Take an acting class. Talk about doing stupid shit with your friends, join an improv team. You don’t need drugs to find thrills and fulfillment.