Hey everyone, I wanted to share my journey in recovery, a solid foundation might help someone here find their footing, too.

It started with hitting rock bottom; my drinking was in full control, not me. Relationships were crumbling. I felt lost. On a friend’s recommendation, I checked into Abbeycare Rehab. I wasn’t sure what to expect, it sounded “serious” and honestly kinda scary, but I knew I couldn’t keep going the same way.

Once there, the structure rocked my world in the best way. Day-to-day routines, medically supported detox, individual and group therapy, CBT, relapse prevention planning, and real aftercare support, everything was set up to relearn how to handle life without a drink. It wasn’t about looking perfect or pretending everything was OK, it was about starting to understand myself again, building integrity, rebuilding trust, and learning new habits that actually stick.

Now that I’m into sober life, I’m surprised by how much of a difference that reset made. I’m healthier, more present, and honestly hopeful. Recovery isn’t a finish line, it’s a lifestyle you build, and I’m still building mine.

Would love to hear: for anyone else who’s been through rehab, what hole do you feel it filled in your life? And for those who haven’t, what’s the one thing you wish you knew before starting recovery?

Long story short, SWIM when they were young, they were forced to quit, the supply was gone, they switched to subs and after only six months, SWIM liver parameters were showing that they could get chirosis of the liver and so once again, they were forced to quit because the doctor had to take them off because it would’ve been medical malpractice if he was to continue to give me something that would ultimately cause my liver to fail, right? Anyways, this was many years ago. Nowadays, SWIM keeps a long-term benzodiazepine perscription and they will never part with it , they take it as perscribed for anxiety, insomnia, but they secretly take it for cravings too. I was wondering, is anyone else in this situation or has been, or know someone who has?did it work for you, do you think it would work, is this sober, or is this still my vice to be nice and relaxed, after all, once your system is clean, it’s the anxiety that is worst isnt it . Insights please

For spouses of addicts. Once they sobered up how did you move forward. I love my spouse and am so proud of them for taking the steps, but sometimes I get resentful of the person they were when they were drinking.

I get images stuck in my head for days and can't shake them out. I have dreams of them relapsing. I push away those thoughts as much as I can, but sometimes it doesnt help.

I am working on getting myself into therapy and they are in therapy as well. But how do yall cope?

Today marks 6 months clean for me. I’ve been kind of miserable lately, been in a state of anhedonia as well as dealing with some grief from the unexpected loss of a loved one. But I’m trying to remain grateful, count my blessings, and remind myself how far I’ve come. Last year I never would’ve thought being sober for 6 months would be a possibility for me. It’s a mf’n miracle to be honest. Was hooked on opiates and opioids the past 15 years, then meth and benzos on top of that the last 4-5 years. So no matter how down I get, I need to remind myself to be proud of where I’m at today and give myself a pat on the back sometimes. Hoping the next 6 months is a little easier. Much love to everyone out there that’s fighting this same fight, takes a lot of strength and determination.

I’ve been clean for 6 years off H. I haven’t had a drug dream in years. But last night I did. My drug dreams always center around the anxiety of trying to get. The slavery of it. I don’t think I’ve ever actually gotten the drug in my dream. It’s all about trying to get it. Doing what I need to do to get it. The emptiness of feeling like you won’t be able to get that day. It’s obsession and anxiety. I feel strange that I had this dream out of nowhere. I am sort of grateful I never actually happily use drugs in my dream. I guess so many years of being a dealers little bitch, I can’t even romanticize drug use in my subconscious.

Here’s to two years, and beyond

1 year 1 month in and I have blown it… Left my home, went to rehab then moved cities, careers, fresh start, new home, became somewhat successful and now I feel like I’m back where I started… the bottle got picked back up, and I feel like it’s taking over more control every day. I can’t let it get worse and I have no clue how to stop it from getting there…

ill be 3 months out of inpatient soon on my birthday!

I've been in pretty intensive therapy since 2018. Inpatient and out. I always skated under the radar of being labelled an addict because I did not report that I was one. They put me on lots of medication, one of which is a benzodiazapam controlled substance. I never abused it by taking more than necessary, but I went through a period of drinking for about 1.5 years where I was heavily drinking while taking it regularly. It was often taken washed down with another drink. I stopped this heavy, daily drinking on my own when I stopped dating the guy I was seeing at the time. At one point, I saved them "just in case" I got too depressed, but I didn't take them for 'fun'. I took them because without them I am an anxious mess. My family has HEAVY drinking problems on my mother's side. Immediate family has had struggles with addiction too.

Now here's the sketchy part. I remember my first drink - a prank my father pulled on me at 10. It wasn't enough to get me tipsy but it was enough that I remember sucking it down without even realizing there was alcohol in it. I remember the first time I tried other stuff- marijuana or pills were my choice to party with when younger. It never seemed to get out of control because I tried to keep myself in check. I kept up good grades and have a good work ethic despite it. My jobs always had heavy, heavy drug use from coworkers so I always, comparatively to others, seemed like I had my shit together. Really, there were times I thought I might have a problem because the thing is, I don't seem to know when to stop. I'd rather do substances than hang out with people, and I almost always feel compelled to smoke or use. I had good grades but regularly skipped class to go smoke with people. If someone offers it, I almost never say no. It's like "Hell yeah" comes out of my mouth before I can think about anything. It helps me function. I can talk better, relax better, and act normal when I do. For a while now, I've only used marijuana lately but the fact is I go through a LOT and if I have it - I smoke it. I can't "save it" for later and it never feels strong enough. It's like my only friend, and that makes me feel like I have an issue, even if I'm not always taking something..

Please help if you can afford to. A ramp is going to be a life changing event for me being able to get in and out of my house without having to have help everytime and I can't thank you all enough for your generosity thank you very very much from my family to all of your families

https://www.gofundme.com/f/im-in-need-of-a-ramp-into-my-house-any-help-is-appreciated/cl/o?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_content=amp13_c-amp17_te&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&lang=en_US&attribution_id=sl%3Aa166ded8-7023-4781-bf87-54e452869f57&ts=1756918993

Hi all. I’m a year and a half sober and for the past couple weeks I’ve been having dreams about drinking and being drunk. Every dream is different (for example one was in a casino, one was at a ski resort, one was at a bar) but all have the common theme of drinking. It’s driving me insane and making me miss alcohol. What does it mean and what do I do??

Are there any other closet drinkers/drug users out there? I was just never social with it at all and only went to bars when dragged out by coworkers.

I had two careers, first was a musician and second was as a software engineer.

I always disliked the nighttime gigs. The music of course is nice when it's going good, but I just hate that time of day and hate night life. I'm 54yo and outside of music functions, have probably been to bars less than 20 times in my life.

Software was a better career for me because of that, especially being on the west coast and having meetings with people on the east coast (US).

It's not really about the sun being up. Perhaps it was about me being born into an AA family or going to treatment in 1988. We had some good tripper groups after high school. Acid with like 3 or 4 of us and a record player playing wild jazz music. It only lasted for 2 years or so and I spent a good section of that time sober studying music while working at night as a janitor.

I'm just into early morning scenes. Back in those Acid years, I would trip alone all night and then would crazy fall in love with the morning vibe of people going to work, grabbing a coffee and scone or pastry, the morning paper, the street scene. I'd been through so much intellectualism and then see all these people and I'd get excited about being more adult and part of the working world.

Now kinda on the other end of that at 54. Not that life is over or I'm fully retired, but much of my life is not a mystery like it was back then.

But the morning thing persists. Seeing people jogging in the morning is about the coolest thing! I don't jog much myself. I bicycle and do yoga/meditation. I was out playing my 6 string bass a few months ago in the morning. Just out there with the birds. It was just amazing.

My culture is different from the norm. Just wondering if there are other morning recovery people around. There is a morning IRL meeting that I used to go to. Something about it rubs me the wrong way though. I tend to like noon meetings best.

We all know Kratom commonly is overlooked but has a highly detrimental effect on its users and their personal lives, commonly bringing about horrible withdrawal symptoms just as intense as those someone quitting opiates would experience. Enough is enough. This is a dangerous plant to be available at every gas station and smoke shop. Help end the madness!

When I fought, I was weak. When I raged, I was weak. When I lied, I was weak. When I was belligerent, I was weak. When I drank, I was weak.

When I drank. I was weak. I was weak. Was.

My dear friend just celebrated 4 years of sobriety and I can’t wait to mail this to her tomorrow 😝💗 Figured I’d share it here because it’s cute.

I used to have a huge problem for about 4 years just giving into the temptations of spending money mostly on onlyfans content. Upwards of 3-4K dollars. As usual all of the content was a scam but I couldn’t stop giving in for so long. Not until I totaled up how much I spent, which was the real nail in the coffin to get myself to quit. Also by telling myself and realizing I could just go spend that $50 or so dollars to go get something to eat instead of wasting it on some content I’ll never look at again. Ive even got my porn consumption down to 1 time every 1-2 weeks instead of everyday. Obviously not perfect but it’s easier to decrease my use overtime than quit cold turkey. It’s definitely ruined my sex life and relationships after consuming it almost daily for years on end.

I just want to say for anyone else out there struggling, it’s worth it. But you have to start today. Or you’ll keep pushing it off. You’re not the only one, you’re not the first, and not the last to go through it.

I just thought I’d let the people here know since you guys were the ones who convinced me to go in the first place I’m going to Ashley Addiction Treatment Center in Maryland I’m terrified but I’m hoping that I’ll come out a better person than who I was before I went in Wish me luck 👋

In the beginning I didn't even think about using. I was so preoccupied with getting my life on track that it just never popped up. I'm about a month and a half in and the last week or so I've been having thoughts of using. I think it's because I'm on track right now and I think it's ok to use once. I know it's not okay. I know it'll set me back. I'm reaching out to you guys in hopes that y'all know what I'm talking about. I think talking about these thoughts will help.