I hate the mistake, not myself this time

[u/Samy_Ninja_Pro]

You know how that quote goes? If people are always leaving you, maybe you're the problem!

I knew I was the problem, didn't take it serious enough and didn't change what needed to change...again

I did change and stopped doing some stuff that often, sure. But I still had issues. I don't torture myself anymore, I don't hate myself anymore, I try to be helpfu and be fun to my friends I have a decent outlook on my future and little by little am trying to be consistent in bettering myself.

But I lost my friends again, lost a woman I love again due to my own mistakes, disappointed close friends.

The big mistake that was the final nail? I flirted with a 19 year old, I have 23. Main problem is she was uncomfortable but didn't know how to say no in person.

I forgot that, I FOKIN forgot that I can't even remember when that was told to me and took her willingness to hug me and take my hand as a sign to try and ask for a date.

That's about it, I know for some it doesn't sound that bad for others it should be a death sentence.

it was a Fucked up thing to do, specially when it went against some stuff I'm supposed to represent I looked like an hypocrite in the face of my friends

I betrayed that trust and the trust of my best friends at the moment, just like that.

The other little things?

My problems: Jokes about people bodies. Not understanding when even a playful "No" it's still a no. Not understanding uncomfort signs

The reasons: I was brought up in a household that said comments were normal, even playful. Just yesterday someone called my arms selfie sticks U know?

I don't joke about weight, never...at least I think I don't and I thought that was enough it wasn't. The mistake was made and it cost me

I only stop some actions or silly stuff when there are obvious signs people are uncomfortable... that shouldn't be like that I must learn to not even do said actions or just ask before doing so. Just because it was allowed with other people I CAN'T think again i will be like that always

Problem is, those obvious signs? Are the last straw and didn't see the signs before that I used to be worse...used to do it more often, didn't take care of friends as I should and lost them to even more reasons. This time there are less...but one too many still

I thought it was enough as I was, my friends were just tolerating me cause I had moments of being a good person and kindness. That ended with this incident.

I don't hate myself this time at least, I know what I have to change it'll just be hard to...start immediately on the self help cause of the grief...

l'Il start by saying I love you to my mom and that my grandma looks pretty tomorrow.

Compliment in places of jokes to people in my class in a week maybe?

Being careful of what I joke about is nothing about a person looks. Don't joke at all if it even mentions a person.

When anecdotes or important details of people are told to me, write them down and review every now and then.

Even if people in my Uni, my family is used to joke some kind of way so much it seems normal. It isn't worth a quick laugh.

I hate how I can't be consistent with some actions and I'm only worth some pretty quotes in some stuff

I really hope that the next time I have the trust of someone I can keep it till I die.

l'Il miss them for more than I've known them but that's just another pretty quote without actions backing it.

If you have some habit that may help? PLEASE and thank you

If you want to curse me or more context? Go ahead

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[u/Own-Reindeer9451]

I don't really have much other than be more aware of what you say before you say it out loud, and maybe research on how to read the room and tell tone easier. But, I do want you to know, I understand how you feel, geniunely, and I'm sorry you lost people you care about over your mistakes. I have a bad time telling tone and reading the room too, and it geniunely is frustrating how easy it is for others to understand and do things like that, while you messing up can cost you relationships because of misunderstandings. Just try go focus on your self improvement and remember to keep other people's feelings in mind before you say things. Sometimes you'll also just have to adapt to other people's humor and such, it's not always going to be the same as yours.

That's all I have to say, have a good day/night. ♡