r/selfhelp • u/PsychologicalCry796 • 8d ago

Advice Needed: Motivation FEEL LIKE I AM RUINING MY LIFE

I am 19 and currently am pursuing a course which will need me to study for months at end, i cannot just study the day before and get decent marks like before. The previous night i plan to study but the next day i continue to put myself in a cycle of dopamine and distraction. I have deleted instagram and youtube and currently only have pinterest on my phone. I used to have this ambition for achieving things making it big but that too now has disappeared. I know i am way too young to be feeling this way and i keep imagining myself making it big but i just imagine those...I take absolutely no steps to make my imagination into a reality. It has come to a point where i imagine myself journaling trying to get better but will not even spend a minute on a diary i bought recently. I feel like i have failed life and i seriously need help getting out of this rut. PLS HELP. I do not want to be 30 feeling like a loser feeding off of what my parents earned and getting by.

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u/dCLCp 8d ago

Hey there! Welcome to our community!

It sounds like you got a whole lot going on. It must be really stressful. But at the same time you are also doing incredibly well.

You are in college trying to better yourself. You are taking big strides to improve your position. You are aware of your problems and you are taking them seriously and you have big dreams. Please keep those alive :)

My hat is off to you. Nobody can ask for more. But I am going to anyways.

Please be kind to yourself. You are not ruining your life. You are running your life and it is hard and scary. You deserve some grace, some love, and some patience for yourself. If you haven't already maybe check in with your school's counselor or wellness team.

I am just an internet random... but it sounds like you might be depressed. I can't give medical advice but in my life depression has caused what you are describing in me. Making lists of all the things wrong with me (depressive rumination). Not being able to perform basic daily tasks (executive dysfunction). Even just having a hard time crying or being happy or feeling anything at all when it got bad (anhedonia). There are lots of things you can do besides medication if it is depression too.

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u/PsychologicalCry796 8d ago

Thank you so much! I did actually have thoughts of putting an end to it all when i was 18 but after having conversations with my parents and going to certain retreats i thought i was out of it, i felt great for days but found myself back to the start soon enough. Thank you for your comment i will be reaching out for help.

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u/dCLCp 8d ago

Please put those thoughts aside dear you are amazing and you deserve an amazing life. It just takes time and tools. You are 19 you have a huge abundance of time. Just need tools now. We have some here in the wiki, but also a therapist or psych can give you many more. With the right tools and a little time you will be right as rain.

Welcome to our community. If you need anything let us know :)

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u/PsychologicalCry796 8d ago

Thank you so much!!