I'm in a relationship with a woman (35F, Runner, Kali) who I consider my twin flame. I'm a 27M (Chaser, Shiv). Our chemistry is incredible when she's calm, but things become impossible when her anger issues kick in. I've been trying to find a way to navigate this, but I'm at a loss.

She has a deep-seated fear that she won't be able to help someone if they are in distress. This stems from a devastating event 10 years ago when her father passed away. After his death, her family went bankrupt and was harassed by people coming to their house for money, even stripping her brother of his clothes and leaving him on the road. Since then, she has been the sole earner for her family.

I've come to understand that her anger is a manifestation of this fear. When she gets scared, she uses the word "ego" to shut me down. She says I'm being selfish or not understanding, and claims that if a person wants to understand something, they just will, and nothing needs to be explained.

On top of this, she says she wants unconditional and infinite non-monetary pampering. She also has a perfect sense of social awareness and doesn't want anyone to know about our relationship since we aren't married. If I show any emotion in front of others, she gets angry.

Here is my dilemma: How can I give her the unconditional pampering she needs when any natural reaction I have—whether I speak up or stay silent—is labeled as my ego? I feel like I'm constantly second-guessing every single thing I do. It feels like "unconditional" love with a thousand conditions. I want to be her safe place, but I'm not sure what that looks like when I'm walking on eggshells.

How can I provide the unconditional love and pampering she asks for without triggering her deep-seated fear? What does this even look like in practice when a simple display of emotion can cause anger?

My gf is talking to her ex behind my back and its past mid night ik she is talking to him but I'm not saying anything its running wild in my mind idk what to do i cant study or do anything

So, as the title states, my wife thinks that I think that I’m better than everyone else. I disagree. I think my way of doing something is typically the best way and if someone is able to convince me there’s a better way of doing something, I am receptive to it. Why do people think that I think I’m better than everyone else just because I think the way I do something is the best way of doing it or that I’m right about something? Isn’t that the point? To do things to the best of your ability or the “right” way even if there is more then one? Why would I do something if I didn’t think it was the best way of doing something? I feel like other people feel this way about me too. Some due to jealousy, some due to their own pride or ego because they feel like I am always “right”, or maybe even because the way I present my ideas can come off as arrogant. I don’t think of myself as an arrogant person, I think of myself as confident most of the time. Maybe a mix of confidence and insecurity can lead me to be perceived as arrogant? I obviously don’t want to be perceived as arrogant but I also don’t like when people are “wrong” and it’s not that I want to prove that they’re wrong, I just want to come to a conclusion regardless if I’m wrong, they are, or we both are. I also like to express what I am thinking to my wife or try gain new knowledge/perspective so if I think something was done the wrong way by someone else I say it and she thinks I’m doing it because I think I’m better then them even though I’m just trying to have a deeper conversation/validate the way I feel about something. If this doesn’t make sense or more information is needed I can try to better explain. Thanks for any responses.

I have realised I have this intense desire for love and relationship and it’s hard for me to like people so once I do like someone I get really desperate to make it work because of scarcity mindset and loneliness. How did you heal this and stop being desperate?

my first serious relationship was amazing at first but then about 6 months in he changed and started lying to me, he manipulated me and he even started cheated on me multiple times and for some reason I kept taking him back( im dumb ik) it wasn't until last year mid year I gained some self respect and left him.

but now I'm scared of getting into relationships because i think that nobody will truly love me, I think that I'm going to get cheated on. I know that I have trust issues and it's something I'm working on but it's hard for me, I know that I'm still young and that I shouldn't worry about relationships but I'm scared that I'll never be able to fall in love again. even reading cheating stories here on reddit makes me anxious.

How do I get rid of this fear of getting cheated on?

TL;DR got cheated on, now I'm scared of falling inlove

I keep wondering about this because I have friends I haven’t spoken to in months (sometimes years), but I still feel like I care about them.

For you, what’s the cutoff point? And what usually makes you decide to reach out (or not)?

My ex girlfriend i was dating last year (15f) and I (16-17f) had a rocky relationship and she has been sexually assaulted before and i helped her through a lot of that and she made a lot of progress as a person from when i had first met her, we had been having sex for a couple of months when this happened and im not really sure what really happened. I also want to clarify i had always made it abundantly clear if she didn’t want something tell me no straight up and nothing would happen that’s like bare minimum. But we were in her room after eating dinner and we had been making out and it started to go further and she stated she was worried bc her parents were downstairs and i reassured her we’d hear them coming up and so then we continued. I don’t really know how to feel about this now because i recently had a mutual friend tell me that my ex said i sexually coerced her and that i didn’t know as she never talked to me about it and she said she didn’t think i even knew i did. When i heard that my heart dropped because i never ever wanted to hurt her but i don’t know if that’s what it was or not and im so confused. Especially since it was her birthday the other day and i wished her a happy birthday but i saw her later sobbing hysterically and all her friends gave me dirty looks and then a mutual told me it was because of me but they weren’t sure why as she just said there was too much. I feel genuinely awful.

Any advice for me, please? Thank you, in advance! 🙏

In my entire life I have never attracted a woman. Never had anyone guide me through it, or to see examples how it's done. Spent my life thinking it would get better with time, but it didn't. I've been hearing how it would solve itself if I just focus on school and career, not to worry about it. It didn't, only gotten worse. Been asking for advice, but all I'm getting is "just be yourself, just be confident, just make money" which in many ways it does make sense. However in practice there are poor guys with girls, short guys, skinny, fat, awkward guys... All types of guys have girls, yet I can't seem to attract anyone.

And I've been improving myself with gym, healthy habits, career but it doesn't get better. It only makes me feel worse because if I'm getting better on paper, but still no one likes me then there must be something horrible with me. I have to point out that I'm not good with socialization, it doesn't come naturally to me, and it hasn't gotten better with practice. I'm rarely meeting people, I have no idea what to talk about (aside of asking about themselves). Even joined a volunteer organization that organized activities on the sea, there were people from all over the world. And I always felt avoided, out of place. The girls would hang out with the other guys, sit next to them for breakfast and dinner, start conversations, show them stuff on the phone and laugh. Meanwhile despite putting effort into trying to get to know them, they still avoided me. And I'm not ugly, I'm not annoying, but I might be boring. I have been trying my best and there's no improvement, I really don't know what to do anymore.

Hi

i'm not far from 30 and basically never had a GF. (NO REDPILL fortunately :) )
It's been some years since, due to my few social encounters and to my lifestyle i rarely meet any women, and if so, they are not approachable (maybe because of age, environment, maybe engaged girls etc).
Now, i got that you have to fight for things to obtain them, i have to work on myself to overcome fear of rejection, fear of approaching, maybe try hang out more often or try a date application (yes, i already now they are most of the time a waste of time and that their algorithms are just gamgling, but who knows, maybe if not used for sex but rather to find a fiancee it might work).

I'm still stranded in my inaction, but I fear that if I try really hard, I'd still be like one of those real incels I see around, people who, despite all the efforts, still remain single.

This can sound like a rant, and partially it is, but still, what do you think about a "semi-incel"? Somebody that does not actively try to get into a relationship, but still thinks that it is not only up to itself that its sentimental life does not exist.

Thank you :3

How to actually heal your anxious attachment? I have tried a lot of things but it comes up the moment I get attached. As long as I am not attached I feel safe. How did you actually heal it? Specific behaviours like early dating texting, meeting, communication. How did you detect red flags early and most importantly how did you walk away without drastic pain? I feel if the red flags come up months later after I am attached I try to make it really work if they come up in the beginning I cut it off but it’s very difficult later.

Okay I know this is maybe too childish for reddit but Im really desperate for advice I am 16 and in my second year of High school almost 3 years ago I met this girl throughout at the time my best friend and unknowingly we fell in love at first sight but we were too scared to say something I never had a girlfriend before that so I was totally clueless how to say something and we kept it a secret from one another we grew really close and talked daily lets call her Sandra (ofc not her real name) but I was like there is no way that she is into me so I kinda gave up and less than a year after that I met this girl while I was out with my friends we can call her Nadine and after a week lf talking we were officially dating she was 1 year older than me and I was not her first boyfriend so she basically guided me what to do IK SUPER WIERD but I found it cute ofc I knew the basics how to treat her and stuff but she was the one that kissed me first the one that held my hand that type of stuff because I was too scared that I was gonna cross some boundaries only problem was that she used to live in my city but she moved to another country few years ago and she visited every month or two and she stayed for a few and every time she visited we were together 24/7 it lasted 6 months ended on pretty bad terms but thats not the point while I was with Nadine Sandra was still into me but backed off when she saw that I had a gf later we became like best friends basically we rejected each other in our heads last year around this time of the year I started High school and in my class there is just one girl out of 24 students 23 are boys and one girl and she was really shy but the more I talked with her on instagram and then later in school I realised we had a lot in common we liked the same music same food same cars same shows but still I was like there is no way she likes me so give up now get over it move on we can call her Amy and during our first semester Sandra got into a really bad breakup and she totally lost it and like every time we talked I gave her some support and everything few weeks pass and and we talk again and this time we talked like the entire night and she confessed that she was for almost 3 years in love with me but she was hiding it like I did and all the emotions came back and we just clicked boom we were together after 3 years we knew every single detail of our lives because we talked about everything and I was like this is it this is the girl we played the game for 3 years we never got into a fight always supported each other this is it aaaaaand she ended it in like 2 weeks and I was devastated couldn’t get myself together but here comes another girl that I was into in 2020 that completely in between the lines said fuck no but we were like really really kids in that time so forget that now she comes and supports me with this “breakup” thing lasted 2 weeks but it really felt like we were together for 3 years and after 3 months of talking she confessed that she is into me and we kiss the next day she completely ghosts me and goes to another city to visit her grandma and ghosts me for a week straight after that she posts a picture with another guy like they are together after that I was like fuck this shit I dont want anyone like wtf is wrong with them and I chill out for a month we come back from winter break into second semester and Im still really cool with Amy we talk every day eat together all the stuff but Im still like nope shes not into you because sometimes she mentions this one guy from our class (btw excluding the time I was with those 2 girls I constantly bought Amy like kinder eggs and stuff like a small gift because we were really close and she was the only girl in our class so it was like a small boost so she knows that I cared throughout the semester we bonded even more we went to school together we walked home back from school talked a lot went on 2 school trips together always next to each other even our class and teacher started teasing us that we were basically a couple and we just hid it from everyone but we denied it she threw some signs that she cares for me but it was never too obvious until the last day of our first year in high school when our teacher pulled her to the side and asked her about us she said she really liked me but didnt know what to do because I have a girlfriend (I made it 100% clean that Im single and clearly I showed some signs that I like her) I found that because the teacher told my dad cuz she didn’t have a clue what to do so after that I realised I can really get her only problem everything was the same and she still talked about that one guy (keep in mind she never had a boyfriend in her life) few weeks ago it was her birthday and I got her a lego set that she hinted she wants but never asked for because it was expensive a silver bracelet with a red heart and roses because one time she mentioned she liked them she was blown away with the gift said I was a dumbass for spending that much money on her and asked that next time I buy something cheaper (every summer break I work in a coffee shop so I get my own money) I told her not to worry about it and to enjoy it because she really deserves it now second year of high school started this is our first week and she said that she doesnt care about that guy but today I went home earlier because Im sick and we talked she asked me am I feeling better and stuff and she said that she was walking with that guy on her way back from school and that he knew “the sidewalk rule” and that it was really cute even tho I started doing that the first week after we met so it really feels like shes not paying attention to my actions even tho I try to be as kind as possible to her and yes Im friends with that guy we hang out in school but he is kind of idk freak? cruel? he drinks every day he swears all the time he smokes and the worst of all he hunts dogs for fun yes literally dogs hes got a hunting rifle for well hunting deer and stuff but when its not deer hunting season he shoots dogs and films it and shows it to her like look the other day I shot this dog and she is completely grossed out about it but still like in a way forgets about it or just doesnt care Amy is one of the funniest kindest loving good hearted girl I met and I really want to be with her but dont know what to do if I go straight to the point maybe she rejects me and I have to deal with that awkward feeling because we are in the same class for 3 more years or maybe she says yes and we are happy idk what to do can someone help

I have been talking to a girl for about 5 years now. But, it has come to an end as she said wants to focus on her studies. That's not the problem here and i totally support her decision. And since that day, we haven't spoken. She also unfollowed me on instagram. But, again that is not why i am here. And we were just good friends. We were nothing like a relationship or being intimate or something.

It is her birthday tomorrow. I don't know if i should wish her or not. I still think about her, i want her to be happy. But, also, i just want to move on. It's hard to just forget her.

Same as the title, it is really affecting me and my relationship with my girlfriend, at the slightest moments of discomfort i rage horribly and say things which i regret the mere second after, please offer some guidance i really love her

15f (if that matters), my brother will do anything to annoy me, shame me to his friends on camera, i genuinely cant do anything to get away from this dude. i have my own room and he comes in here and ANNOYS THE PISS out of me, i cant get a lock...

genuinely what are some ways to get this dude to stop, and no. talking to him calmly wont do anything, ive tried it before.

20M, I was recently at a friend's birthday party where i drank way too much and ended up hurting my two closest friends. Apparently I became another person and was violent and aggressive. I never meant to hurt them - I have never ever been an aggressive person, but it happened. After reflecting on this and speaking to my friends, I have realised that I've really changed over the last year, I stopped being gentle and caring, and instead became toxic and honestly just mean. Now this has all resulted in my hurting my friends and losing a group of people I care about so much. Is there any chance of me rebuilding my relationships? What do I do from here? I feel so lost and anxious and racked with guilt. I really fucked up.

Okay so I’ve had a few relationships in the past, some bad some good. Now I’m in a kinda relationship with a guy, and one day into our texting he asked me to send him my thighs and all these different photos and everything, I didn’t think much of it but I was very guilty about it the next day. Today, he asked me to send him my chest, I got anxious and I told him no, then I was feeling very guilty about saying no. It just feels like he only likes me because of the things I send him. I’ve already grown attached to him but I don’t want to say no and make him upset. I don’t know if it’s a gut feeling telling me no or if I’m just off my meds and getting anxious about everything. What should i do?

TL;DR, I get angry and out of control when my partner tells me I hurt her and I want to get better for her.

I’ve been with my fiancée for three and a half years now. We’ve both grown a lot since the start, but the truth is, I feel like I’m a terrible partner to her. I love her so much, but I keep failing her.

I’m in therapy, and we’ve even tried couples therapy, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t handle conflict at all. The second she tells me I did something wrong or hurt her, I get defensive and upset. I push her away whenever I feel guilty (which is most of the time), and sometimes it turns into huge fights where I yell. I’ve never been physical, but I know I can be cruel with my words. I’ve said things that were invalidating, harsh, and just plain mean. Even if it only happens when I’m angry, it doesn’t matter—she still walks on eggshells because I lose my temper so easily and so often.

I know I’m not doing this out of malice, but that doesn’t excuse it. I hate the person I become in those moments. I feel disgusting during and after fights, and no matter how much I regret it, I end up repeating the same patterns. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve her at all.

I’ve read, taken tests, worked on my trauma, and I’m trying—but the reality is I can’t deal with conflict, and she’s the one paying the price for it. So I guess my questions are: • How can I validate her feelings when I’m drowning in my own? • How do I stop making everything about my emotions? • How can I finally treat her the way she deserves, instead of being this awful version of myself? Thanks for any advice.

I know her for a long time and this will terribly destroy her.. I don't want to share most of the things in the public reddit post so if someone has an advice or actually been through a bad break up I need your help. Also I want to break up with her in the best way if it is possible. Please dm if you can help.. Thanks so much

I often find myself stuck when chatting with people—the conversation just dies, and awkward silence fills the air.

I really want to improve my small talk skills and feel more confident in everyday situations. Right now I’m exploring different ways to practice, like roleplaying or even using AI chatbots to simulate conversations (e.g. at a party, workplace, or networking event).

Has anyone here tried practicing like this? Did it help?
- How do you personally practice small talk?
- Are there specific scenarios or exercises you’d recommend?

I’d love to hear what’s worked for you.

I (F24) have a boyfriend (M24) and he has a lot of friends, men and women. i have a few friends but most of them are not too present in my life, so i always go out with my boyfriend and their friends, some of these friends (male) are so nice to me and also their girlfriends are nice too, but my boyfriend has another group of friends with more women than men and i feel so insecure and rejected when next to them. at first i tried to be nice and have a good relationship with them but at some point i just gave up because even a girl i knew for a certain time before getting into this relationship (she was a friend in common) just started ignoring me and pushing me away, at the same time she was trying to get closer to my boyfriend. other girls of the group sometimes talk to me but then ignore me like Forever. what i dont understand is why i care so much and feel so inadequate.

what can i do to take it easier? some things happened lately like i was working on some fashion projects with one of this gurls but she also keeps that distance like she doesn’t wants to get closer at all. I try to act natural everytime i see them but sometimes its hard. money is also something that “separates” us bc theyre very rich and its ok but i don’t seem to stop feeling bad for being “rejected”

I’m 16 years old and my boyfriend just left me. I know that there is no chance of him and I ever getting back together. The thought of moving on without him hurts so much. I wish I could hold him in these times where I need him the most but he isn’t there. I’ve been so immature during the break up and I’ve done things that I cannot take back or be forgiven. I don’t want to be forgiven I just want to know how to move on smoothly. I need advice on how to be okay with moving on without him. I don’t want pity or comfort. I just want to know how to be okay without him

This is going to be a lot but I would seriously appreciate anyone's help and advice they can give me on my situation. Thank you.

Hello, so like the caption says I've been having a lot of problems in my relationship. It started off as on our first date him being 23, me being 18, his dad had to bring him because it was a drive away and he didn't trust him to go by himself. Before that his mom did a background check on me and my family and had to give him "permission to go". I almost broke up with him then but he begged me not to and said he didn't want to lose me. It took almost a month to convince both his parents to let him go and that I wasn't "dangerous". After that we got into a lot of fights. Some examples early on:

1. On the second day we were dating he searched up "how to breakup with your girlfriend" in the search bar when we were on a call and I was watching YouTube videos he was showing me. He didn't apologize until I made him and said it was just a joke.

2. We were on the phone another night that first week and he said I was way too clingy. For extra context he said it was because I wanted to call every night for a little bit after we just started dating and couldn't see each other cause his parents wouldn't let him take me on a date.

3. During sex he tried to convince me to do anal and I said I didn't want to and then he pinned me down laughing and started to do anal with me until I started freaking out and begging him to stop cause it hurt super bad. He stopped and said something along the lines of oops sorry didn't realize that hurt. I went and cried in the bathroom and then he didn't speak to me at all the rest of the day until I told him I was sorry for freaking out.

4. One night after we moved in together I was tapping him on the shoulder because he was on his phone in bed and I was trying to talk to him about something and he turned around and swung with his elbow and dislocated my noise. It started bleeding so I went in the bathroom to clean it up and ended up having to go to the ER cause it hurt so bad and was off center. Once again he didn't say sorry until I asked him too and I ended up comforting him for being upset that he broke my nose.

5. I got a bad urinary tract infection one day because I never had one before and let it go untreated. When I got it I had to make my own food with a fever and feeling horrible because he just didn't think to do it and then when I reminded him we needed to eat he didn't know where any of OUR pots and pans were or how to make it and kept asking for instructions so I just did it. He said he wouldve made the food but I wouldn't just answer simple questions about how to make it and wouldn't let him make it so it was really my fault.

6. I got COVID nasty and then he got it from me and I had to take care of us and clean up everything during exam season until I got a 102 fever so I had to call my mom to come get me food, clean up the apartment, and take care of our dog so I could study for exams and she could take me to my 6:30pm-9pm biology lab. His favorite pass time is watching cooking shows like Adam regusea and babish btw.

These are just a few examples we've had a lot of fights about him checking out and ignoring me when I'm upset. He even told me he cracked the code cause I sent him a video about avoidant behavior and he said now he knows he will do better. He didn't. When I try to tell him about how I feel in our relationship and like everything is my responsibility then he calls me a liar and says he isn't gonna stand by and let me define him without defending himself aka screaming at me when I'm crying.

Also relevant is that I have uncurable epilepsy and bad migraines and he never helps me with that. He used to have acid reflux that gave him heart pain so I would take care of him, help him, take him to the doctor, coordinate with his mom who is always all over me asking how her son is cause he doesn't text her. I always tell him when I had a seizure and I still end up grocery shopping, cleaning, making food. Eventually I gave up on doing everything in the apartment and he used it as an excuse why I don't do anything around here and that's why he doesn't treat me well.

Tonight we were arguing cause I haven't eaten all day while I was working and I got home and he did the thing he does with the food I mentioned earlier acting like he's never seen a kitchen before and asking me where everything was and how to make it. I got upset and went in the bedroom to go to sleep and he stormed out and went and bought candy (we aren't doing well with money). He came back and tried to tell him why I was upset (he says I don't communicate I just shut down) and he cut me off and said I was lying and he's not just gonna sit there and not defend himself (aka scream at me and call me names). He stormed out again and I tried to talk to him again and he went to work and ignored me. I tried to text him and say I wasn't feeling well and Ive had a million seizures today + I'm in the highest risk category for SUDEP. I tried to tell him earlier in the day a million times but he just ignored me and didn't say anything. I called him several times and tried texting him and all he said was he had to leave so he didn't get into a huge argument with me and he saw my messages about not feeling well. I have a lot of seizures in my sleep and I told him I needed someone to be ready to give me valtoco and he just ignored me anyways.

For added context both of his cousins he's super close with have epilepsy and he dotes on them all the time. As an added bonus when his mom (those cousins caretaker and a nurse) found out I had epilepsy she told him to heavily consider being with me cause I probably can't get pregnant with epilepsy and she knows how much he wants to be a father. I even told her one time that he was hitting me when he got angry and she asked me how he was and told him he can come home to mom whenever.

I know it's embarrassing that I stay but I always believe him when he says he will do better then turns on me a few hours later. He's never held a promise to change ever. I had a dad like him growing up but I just can't force myself to leave. We have an apartment together that I need for college and can't afford to pay for by myself and I also can't afford a dorm. I can't have a roommate cause it's a 1 bedroom apartment. I dont know how to leave, I just always think that if he loves me like he says he does then he will change or that he will take care of me the way I've taken care of him. There's so many more things he's done that I don't even have space to write it all and yet I stay. I just need people to help convince me to leave it's like I can't physically bring myself to go. I even begged him to stay a few times when he threatened to ditch me and go back with his mom and dad. Please give me advice and don't hold back I'm trying so hard to get in that mindset but I just keep thinking I can fix it I can make him change for me.

I have no idea whats up with her and I don't know if I'm in the wrong or If I did something but ive had enough of being blamed for stuff and being painted as the bad guy when I didn't do anything im tired please look at this and help me i need help she speaks to me like she hates me and o have no idea why ive been out the country due to work and its a new job ive started as it pays better then my previous job but its more demanding and she knows I got into this job so I can provide for us both and now I'm met with theses things and it makes me think if its worth it im working my body off to make sure things work out and I just get met with all that

Yesterday I Ruined a Group Hangout Over Bitcoin... and It Was a Wake-Up Call

I was hanging out with some friends and a few people I didn’t know well. It was a relaxed, cozy vibe — about 10 of us sitting around chatting. Then someone mentioned that they had a big chunk of their company’s money invested in Bitcoin.

A few minutes later, I found myself raging about how risky that is. I got really fired up, went into full debate mode, and dominated the conversation. The rest of the group fell silent, and the energy totally shifted. After it was over, I could tell I had taken up too much space — again.

Looking back, I realize two things:

1. I hijacked the moment and made it uncomfortable for everyone else.
2. It wasn’t even my business. Why did I care so much? Who was I trying to prove something to?

This isn’t a one-off thing. It happens a lot — not just with Bitcoin. Any time I feel like I know more than someone else, I get cocky, intense, and argumentative. In the moment, I don’t notice it at all. But afterward, I feel ashamed and frustrated with myself.

I’ve been aware of this tendency for a couple of years, but last night really felt like a wake-up call. If I don’t work on this, I’m going to lose friends and miss out on connecting with new people.

So I’m reaching out here.

• Has anyone dealt with this kind of behavior in themselves?
• How do you learn to stay grounded in group conversations — especially when you’re passionate about a topic?
• Any books, podcasts, or personal strategies that helped you?

Thanks in advance.