Hi, i am 20M living on earth. I was exposed to porn in my high school like in 8th standard and a month earlier i got graduated from my college with my degree.
Right now i am working in a shift of 12 to 9 and the problem is i cant stop my brain from thinking of all the influencer face from instagram explore page and also the porn that i watched. I even have sudden boner in my work place that are very random and then the urges are too strong.
BTW i am trying to quit social media like instgram but my brain doesnt give up and i reunistall it see the explore page see the faces again and maybe jerk off, then have the regret and guilt of doing it and delete it and the same cycle since this the starting of the year and majoring it happens when I lay down to sleep in night and no one is around. I am sick of reddit also not with people but i got to know I can see porn and everything here also and then hands and brain dont stop.

I am asking for a way out of this cycle. No motivation bullshit, no other bullshit. Just straight talk, if anyone has any solution comment it down

Im here if anyone needs help i wont judge I want to help people

Hello to you all viewers of this post, I'm a 19 year old men who has had quite a difficult story for the past 5 years.

5 years ago, I could say I was the "happy chubby boy", a joyful, funny and outspoken fella who I could say lived happily. When I turned 14 or soon after and I was maturing, those comments, jokes, etc... done about my physique started affecting me to the point that I began to hide myself from people, I hid behind facemasks, I didn't want photos taken of me, I wore baggier clothes... and also decided to take action by losing lots and lots of weight without telling my parents beforehand so I rapidly lost weight and also started slowly but steadily getting into muscle building, firstly the typical "secret room workouts" planks... pushups... squats.... After sometime I began telling it to my parents who helped me acquire some dumbells and bunch of other light equipment to help me plus some here and there assistance from a family friend who was and still is a personal trainer. After quite sometime, I regained some trust in myself but something began changing... even though I was more confident and even happier... after some years I began to truly lose contact with friends. Looking back I quietly but steadily began to distance myself from my family, friends... (so I barely made any new friends after 16~ years old) and I could even say from myself.

Now I'm 19, a month back I weighted all my food, tracked all my macros, almost never missed a day at the gym that I needed to go, barely ate things out of my diet or when I did I somewhat did it without enjoying it, walking 15.000 more or less steps every single day, all of this combined with the fact that I didn't weight myself out of fear from what I weighted (obviously I wanted to weight more than what I did) and because of many recent discussions with my parents that really really went bad (you can't even imagine) instances where we all found ourselves crying, my father telling me he could not stand it anymore, my mother harming herself and making threats of further hurting herself... I'm now almost alone in all of this, I barely hangout with people and find myself in the computer, walking secretly in the garden to at least do 5.000 steps, training in my room secretly to try to maintain something and eating way way way above my maintenance calories because my parents are forcing me to do so under threats of further punishment or kicking me out of house; I have lost almost all interests in prior hobbies I had, airsoft, re-enactment, playing the guitar, reading.

My parents have always told me they are proud of me, I'm a good student, I always try to display love to them, I always help them, give them little treats every day, smile whenever I feel like it, and I admit I truly love them.

But I have to tell you all that I ain't a saint, I have lied LOTS of time to my parents about fake hangouts to calm them down, eating and drinking lots of water to put on weight fast before they made me step in the scale, telling them I ate something I didn't or telling them I didn't weight my food.

Now I am lost, I know I'm probably a bad person and son, but also, I can't remove out of my head that yeah, I became obsessed by putting my physique first above all other things in my life, I know want to change but I think this ain't the way, I'm at the verge of running away because of me and because of them, because by harming myself unconsciously I've also hurt those I love the most.

If someone wants to talk to me, ask me anything... whatever, please, I beg it, contact me.

Thanks beforehand.

Hope you all have a truly wonderful day, night or whatever it is wherever you are. Love

I’ve been digging into brain fog lately, and I realized it isn’t just one thing. For me, it’s not only about “thinking slow”, it shows up in different ways depending on the day.

Sometimes it feels like my thoughts are moving through heavy mud, every idea dragging itself forward. Other times, it’s more like a blank screen, the thought is there but just out of reach, loading forever like a buffering circle. And on bad days, it even kills my motivation completely, like my brain and my willpower shut down at the same time.

I’ve read that cortisol and stress can play a big role, but sleep, blood sugar, and overload all seem to add to it too.

How do you experience brain fog? Does it hit you as heaviness, emptiness, lack of drive, or something else entirely?

Im 41, I take metazapine daily or im majorly depressed all day every day. IV struggled to get better for years. IV worked my whole life up until the last 18 months, but IV only worked 2months out of that 18. I hardly drink alcohol because that's a major trigger for me. The closest Iv got to living a regular life recently is eating properly for about 10days, training weights lightly at home & going outside a couple of times pwk but then IL suddenly struggle to sleep for a couple of days and lose my appetite, told the doctor I can't sleep and he wouldnt prescribe me even 10 sleeping tablets because apparently "they are addictive".....I just dont enjoy life anymore, iv just survived for the last 2 years or so. I have no clinical diagnosis but I have a lengthy history of mental health issues mainly depression & anxiety, IV been on different anti depressants for about 6 years constantly, IV recently done a course of counciling, that helped briefly but I'm back in the exact same place again after only a couple of weeks. I feel stuck and can't see a future for myself even tho I have a young child. Has anyone ever survived depression like this because I'm tired of struggling for so long now. Any help/advice is much appreciated IV been thinking of trying Buddhism next, I just want to enjoy life again and be happy for my boy, not struggle to do simple things like eat or go outside.

I moved out last year from my parent's house who were emotionally abusive to me.

But I often struggle with the memories. I mostly get flashbacks of the entitlement and the misogyny that was there from my father and my brother. The staring and the talking down. I feel like getting viol3nt and imaging being viol3nt with them.

I struggle with thoughts of "what if they do this" and "what if they do that" and it makes me so angry.

I have been in therapy but it's not helping that much. And yes, I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD.

I used to find it difficult to stand up to them while I lived there and till this date they have no remorse. They even tell me that my bad mental health is my fault and that I have caused it to myself. My mom said it to me.

I feel it's sad how people believe that home is your safest space but mostly kids get abus3d in their own homes.

Just wanted to share it and ask if anyone else has also experienced the same?

[VETERAN TIP] Everyone says “just stop thinking so much,” or “try meditation.” But let’s be real… if it was that simple, none of us would still be spiraling at 2 AM. Hey, what’s up, longtime overthinker here. I’ve spent years stuck in mental loops that wrecked my focus, relationships, and sleep. I finally got fed up with all the shallow advice online and went deep into what actually works. I wrote a book about it, but more importantly, I want to drop this for anyone who’s stuck in the same cycle I was. Here’s the stuff nobody really talks about when it comes to overthinking: It’s not just “thinking too much,” it’s a cycle.

Overthinking runs on a loop: trigger → thought spiral → self-blame → more spiraling. Everyone tells you to “calm down,” but almost nobody shows you how to interrupt that loop in real time. That’s the difference between staying trapped and getting your mind back.

Your nervous system is half the battle.

People treat overthinking like it’s just mental, but your body is driving a lot of it. Racing thoughts, pounding chest, tight shoulders — that’s your nervous system on overdrive. Without quick reset tools (breathwork, grounding, the 5-3-1 method), your mind never gets the chance to slow down.

Mindset shifts beat “positive thinking.”

“Just think positive” is garbage advice. What actually works is reframing. Noticing when your mind is stuck in “what if” mode and flipping the script into something actionable. Example: changing “What if I fail?” → “If I fail, what’s the one next step I’ll take?” That’s control, not forced positivity.

There’s a lot more like this that rarely gets mentioned in mainstream self-help or quick TikTok clips. I just finished a full book on this, How To Stop Overthinking And Rewire Your Mind For Control. I’m giving away free digital copies because honestly, I know what it’s like to feel stuck and I’d rather get this in people’s hands than keep it sitting arorewiringund. No catch. If you want one, please respond or reach out to me and I’ll get you the PDF. And if you do read it, I’d love your feedback, even a quick “this helped” makes a difference for me and for others who are drowning in overthinking. Stay strong, you’re not broken, you’re .✨🧠

for a long time i thought i just lacked discipline. i’d start something with real energy: a new habit, a challenge, a goal. then something would drag me off track. sometimes it was obvious, like scrolling too long. sometimes it was subtle, like convincing myself “i’ll do it later” even though i knew i wouldn’t. sometimes i’d literally watch myself do the thing i knew would sabotage me, like i was in 3rd person.

i used to call that being lazy. now i call it being hijacked.

a hijack is when you watch yourself do something that goes against your intention. it feels like a mental override. you’re still there, but something else is steering. the voice that says “you’ve already messed up today, might as well restart tomorrow” or “this won’t make a difference anyway.” that’s the hijack. and when you’re in it, you usually believe it. it’s awful.

i started tracking when hijacks happened and, more importantly, what they were trying to avoid. most of the time it was discomfort. fear of failure. fear of effort without reward. or just emotional resistance pretending to be logic.

example: a few weeks ago i was trying to start fasting. i was at work, kinda hungry but fine. i had two options: a: fast b: grab something from the vending machine. my brain told me i couldn’t fast, that i was overweight anyway, so i should just get a snack. i rationalised my way into buying m&ms. when i sat back down, i thought “what the f made me do that.” later i wrote it down and labelled it: hijack.

so i built a system to fight back. i call it rituals.

a ritual is a repeatable action that interrupts a hijacked state and realigns you with your real intention. it’s not a habit. habits are automatic. rituals are deliberate. they pull you out of autopilot and put you back in the driver’s seat.

here’s what’s been working for me:

• mind dump every morning: before i touch my phone, i write whatever’s in my head. anxious thoughts, dreams, random to-dos. the goal isn’t clarity, it’s exposure. i want to see what thoughts are trying to run the show before they do.
• log every hijack: when i catch myself getting pulled off course, i log it. “i scrolled instagram for 23 minutes because i felt overwhelmed.” writing it down makes me way more likely to catch it next time.
• ritual ratings: when i do something that lifts me up, like working out, cold showers, going outside without my phone, meditating, i rate my mood before and after. it reinforces the ritual as a tool, not a chore.
• name the saboteur: i call mine “the shadow.” it’s the part of me that sabotages progress, whispers doubts, keeps me comfortable and stuck. giving it a name gives me distance. it’s not me messing up, it’s the shadow trying to take control.
• weekly review: every sunday i ask myself three questions: what strengthened the shadow this week? what weakened it? where did it win, and where did i win? i gather data on the shadow.

since using this system, i’ve stopped waiting for motivation. i don’t rely on streaks or shame. i treat internal resistance like a pattern to outsmart, not a personality flaw.

if you’re stuck in the same loops, you don’t need another meditation app or another youtube video. you need to see how you get hijacked, and find rituals that pull you back out.

tldr: track hijacks, build rituals, profit.

Lately I’ve realized something simple: when I’m low, anxious, or overwhelmed, advice isn’t always what I need. Most times, I just want to talk to someone who feels the same.

That thought stayed with me, and I ended up creating a small tool around it. It’s called Moodie-Connect by mood and the whole idea is:

• pick your mood
• get instantly paired with someone feeling the same
• chat 1-on-1, completely anonymous
• conversations disappear when you’re done

No profiles. No pressure. Just a space to feel heard.

It went live on Google Play yesterday, and a few people are already trying it out. Honestly, I’m more curious if this resonates with anyone here: do you think talking to a stranger who “gets it” can be part of self-help?

Hey everyone!

I recently built a web app to help with workplace social anxiety. It's early-stage, and I'm looking for constructive feedback and feature ideas from the community to make it better. The idea came from my own experiences as well as hearing how social anxiety has affected others' careers.

Grateful for any feedback or suggestions.

The web app is called Not Awkward.

Here’s a journaling question I stumbled into that completely shifted how I look at relationships: “What do I mistake for chemistry that might actually be anxiety?” The first time I wrote on that, I realized most of the “spark” I thought was attraction was really my nervous system going into overdrive. That racing heart, the obsessive overthinking, the adrenaline when they texted back — I thought that was passion.

But in truth? It was fear. It was the chaos I grew up with disguised as “love.” When I journaled honestly, I found that what actually made me feel safe (calm conversations, predictability, feeling seen without performing) I used to write off as “boring.” And I kept chasing the highs and lows, confusing survival-mode for intimacy. It’s wild how one prompt can unravel years of patterns.

For anyone who journals: Try answering this one tonight. Take 10 minutes and ask yourself:

When have I confused chaos for connection? What does calm love look like for me? Why do I call peace “boring”?

I’d love to hear what comes up for you if you try it. Sometimes other people’s reflections make me see my own patterns more clearly.

(Side note: I’ve been putting together a collection of prompts + reflections like this in a project I’m working on. Writing it has been its own form of therapy. If this resonated, I can share a couple more prompts/excerpts from it in the comments — they’ve been helping me and a few early readers untangle some messy relationship habits.)

If you want to chat, need advise, or someone to just be there, I’m here to guide you.

Snapchat, telegram, signal, Reddit chat, anything!

Let it happen. Let it go.

Im still learning this on the hard way to go.

But that doesn't mean when something happens to you need to feel bad or down about it.

You don't alway need to take care or accept what they say to you or what they done to you.

You are, what you are. (Meaning this you are kinda one of a kind for others because no one is like you. Us people have different paths and ways to life.)

Don't give a f"vk what they say, i mean if you do just let it flow, let life take it shape for you. Talking to someone does help, Coping it like talking to your self, doing imaginary scenario's (well even i know thats weird but it does help) I know even if this doesn't work well thats life feel down but not hopeless. Praying to Jesus always helps.

Always have emphaty to yourself, and others even if you feel them having no empathy to you or others.

Because in the end of the day, we need yo forgive ourselves even if your hard on your self for what you cannot do or what you haven't done for others and your self.

Don't take revenge on what people done to you but pray and have mercy on what they done to you let life shape it (karma too).

Live that life you want even with restrictions be enough for your self. Have a purpose in life that's what make us do what we want.

We are still learning every way.

Hello there. If you're done reading this the purpose for me typing and saying these are The stuff i want to share for myself and for others to see. Btw i wrote this in my perspective in life. But thank you for reading this!

Not sure where to go or if this is even the right community or flair but yeah. I’m just looking for a friend or someone to talk to….

I used to try to get rai of my self-criticism. I’d tell myself to stop being so hard on myself. But the more I fought it, the worse it got

Over time, I realized something important: behind that inner critic, there’s often something deeper - fear, shame, old wounds, or past experiences

So I put together a PDF with some practices that genuinely helped me. It’s completely free - I just want to share what worked for me

Tbh I think about it almost daily. I wish I could pause the world around me and just…relax. Everything is so insanely stressful right now. The days move by so fast, and I’m drowning in tasks/chores/etc. I’m constantly mentally and emotionally exhausted because my brain doesn’t stop. I get stuck in task paralysis and just shut down because I have so much on my plate, but I’m so, so tired. Imagine being able just to pause the world and get your tasks done without time looming over you. To get ahead of everything so you’re not constantly buried.

I know it’s just a fantasy, but, fuck, I wish. 😞

(I really didn’t know what tag to put on this so I hope it’s the right one lol)

Hi All, just reaching you to see if this is a good idea. I built this self-reflection app so instead of doomscrolling or talking to myself or just rambling, I just talk to it. It seems be helping reducing my random self-talk sessions. It's not like chatgpt. It doesnt talk back. It's geared towards voice only. So if you speaking negatively (or positively), it'll pick that up. It'll pick up on your tone, the theme of your thoughts, and energy levels.

How many people do self talk here?

Hey everyone,In our continuous journey of self-improvement and seeking inner peace, we often look for frameworks and philosophies that can guide us. I wanted to share some observations on how a particular spiritual path, Islam, offers principles that resonate deeply with the goals of personal development and overcoming negative habits. It's fascinating to see how the teachings within Islam provide a comprehensive approach to life that can profoundly impact one's journey towards a better self. A Path to Overcoming Habits: The Islamic tradition emphasizes discipline, self-control, and a heightened sense of awareness. Practices like daily prayers are not merely rituals; they are designed to be moments of mindfulness, pulling individuals away from distractions and fostering a conscious detachment from harmful impulses. The guidance against certain behaviors, such as intoxication, gambling, or backbiting, is framed not as restriction, but as a liberation from elements that impede personal growth and well-being. It's about making deliberate choices that elevate the human spirit. Cultivating Inner Strength: At the heart of Islamic teachings are concepts like reliance on a higher power (Tawakkul), enduring patience (Sabr), and profound gratitude (Shukr). These principles can be incredibly powerful tools for building mental and emotional resilience. When one understands that every challenge and blessing is part of a larger divine plan, it can shift perspective from despair to profound hope. This understanding can instill an incredible sense of inner peace and strength, fostering the belief that one is never truly alone and that every trial holds an opportunity for growth. Fostering Compassion and Community: What truly stands out is the strong emphasis on compassion, justice, and community. Islam encourages kindness towards neighbors, supporting those in need, and nurturing strong family bonds. This focus on contributing positively to society and connecting with others for the sake of good highlights how individual growth is intricately linked with the well-being of the collective. It's a beautiful reminder of our interconnectedness. This post isn't about advocating for any specific belief, but rather sharing insights into how the principles found within Islam can offer profound guidance and inspiration for anyone on a journey of self-improvement, seeking inner peace, strength, and a way to overcome life's challenges. It's about recognizing universal truths that can be found in various spiritual traditions. I believe open and respectful dialogue enriches us all. Feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions about these observations in a positive and constructive manner.Thank you for reading.

Posting it here so it might help someone who is on the same spot I was few months ago.

I was exhausted by my overly duties of being a working woman 9 to 5 and also a mom of two who have so much on her plate to do.

And while performing all these duties I was dying from inside because I

Couldn't find any personal time for myself.

So here are somethings that helped me(honestly I found these practices from a guide) sharing some of them here.

Guilt Detox Worksheet

This worksheet gently guides you through: Naming the invisible guilt you carry (even the shameful kind you never say out loud)

Asking: Is this guilt true, or is it inherited?

Reframing guilt into wisdom and grace

A simple release ritual you can do in under 10 minutes

Emotional Regulation Checklist

Simple practices to reset your internal state in 5 minutes or less: Breathing tools for “in the moment” overwhelm

Mini movement rituals for trapped tension

Grounding prompts to help you come back to your body

A “pause + check-in” flow when you feel like you might snap.

These are some if anyone ask I can share the that guide with them But these are the some practices that helped me find my ground.