I want to be a fun and funnier person but am verrrry socially awkward. Is this even possible? Like within my lifetime? What can I do?

I know I can swing normal. If I have enough normal ordinary conversations with people, I could lose the awkwardness. But I don’t wanna just be normal. I want to be a fun person to be around, and I want to be funny and say things that make people laugh. Normal is a far easier goal. Fun and funny, well, it might as well be rocket science.

I’ve heard people say that funny people come from funny families. I would say my family was sort of evil, in a non funny way. Other people say being funny comes from trauma. While my life is definitely not short on trauma, unfortunately it was never the kind any humor could be seen in. And then the worst I hear is that people are either funny or they’re not; quick witted or not. What do you think, good people? Is normal the most I can aim for, or could I become the fun person who people want to hang out with and who makes everyone laugh?

The key is persistence. You keep showing up as your new self, day after day, action after action, until one day, you look back and the old you is gone.

And here where the magic happens, it won’t feel forced anymore.

Because eventually, your subconscious will stop fighting. It will accept the new you.

And when that happens, the transformation is complete.

I won’t lie to you, this won’t be easy. There will be days when your old identity screams for survival.

When you feel like you’re “pretending.” When your subconscious throws every excuse at you to pull you back into comfort.

That’s not failure. That’s the test.

All my life i feel like I've been seeking attention . I mean didn't everyone at some point ? From kids when we did reckless things to impress our parents , to early teen years where some of us tried our first vape and acted like "we felt the buzz" . But now I'm grown , almost an adult and with that i feel like a have to stop with the whole " look at me , i said/did this or that " stuff , even though I know that is just immature now . I know kids aged 14 that are more mature than me(and even look more mature but that is another thing) . When i do these immature things say annoy my friend in class , I think look funny but I don't , I'm the wannabe "class clown" still chasing that attention i sought when I was a kid , even though my parents gave me all the attention in the world . 8th grade was when maturity hit everyone but me , making me insufferable in a friendship/relationship therefore not having any . Even though I know how annoying I was , I continue to do this , doing stupid shit every few minutes just to remind the class full of just girls that I'm here and I did this .

So can I mature or Is this just the way I am meant to be , always striving for the look or laugh from the next person ?

Hello everyone,

I’ve joined today as I’m too much of a coward and lack the capability to speak to someone in person about how I feel. I feel as this is a starting point for me to begin my journey to improve.

I’m a very intolerable person who fails to face any situation with the correct emotions. Instead of sympathy, care, love, respect, non-bias and understanding - I face every situation by taking the p**s out of something or someone. I torment, knock people down verbally as if it’s funny to them too and until I’m alone and finished I realise it really isn’t. It’s embarrassing, it’s low and sad and makes me feel as I should - like a lowlife.

I’ve lost friends, work friendships, family and more by being the person I am.

Until today I realised how good my family actually are to me, and my current friends too. I don’t want to lose them, and I don’t want to force them into a relationship which isn’t fair either.

I’ve recently over the last few months tried to express my appreciation and respect to my friends but I still can’t stop taking the p**s.

I want to be a better person. I want to feel as if my friends are genuinely happy to speak to me, and want to stop creating atmospheres within activities and time I spend with them.

I have a lot of guilt for everything and everyone I’ve wronged, tormented, teased, upset or been horrible to. I can’t take it back, and an apology is only half of the battle until I can prove I can stop it.

To anyone reading; I really appreciate your time reading this, and appreciate any comment you may leave.

I’m sorry for all that I’ve done, and I’m sorry to all whose life I’ve impacted - large or small.

This is my plea to do better, and to begin my journey living my life as a better person.

esp for young to middle aged males, i got some working wisdom

Life can feel like a constant battle ,you’re not just dealing with surface level issues is a deeper often hidden and struggles that put you down. These aren’t just about breaking habit. They’re about reclaiming your life peace by peace.

I developed a journal/guide designed to help you: - Identity and change toxic traits or patterns that have been holding you back. - Reflect on past mistakes and generally forgive yourself moving forward without the burden of guilt. - Address addiction or unhealthy coping mechanisms whether it’s substance abuse, compulsive behaviors, or other dependencies . - Build small actionable habits to regain control and start living intentionally. - Navigate complex emotions, like shame, fear, and self that that often accompany, personal struggles. - Rebuilt self-worth, and confidence that may have been eroded overtime. - Set and achieve realistic, goals, breaking free from the cycle of procrastination and inaction.

This isn’t about changing who you are it’s about healing, growing, and reclaiming your life step-by-step. I’m genuinely curious :Would something like this be helpful to you?What would you need to feel like it was worth trying?

A few years ago, I felt like I was going nowhere:

Gaming all day

Failing exams

No direction or discipline

Now, I’m someone I can actually be proud of:

I read at least 2 hours every day books on money , business and Psychology mostly

I work most hours of the day on my goals and business

I have been working-out for almost 2 years

I’ve built systems and habits that actually stick

I still study just enough to stay above average in academics while focusing on what really matters to me

This didn’t happen overnight. I’ve spent years in the productivity space for about 7 years . Consuming books, videos, and techniques, then testing them in real life. I’ve failed, refined, and learned what actually works and what’s just hype.

I’m not perfect , I still waste time and sometimes fall into old habits — but I know how to get back on track quickly.

If you’re trying to:

Build better habits

Stay focused

Break bad patterns

Create a life you’re proud of

…ask me anything. I’ll share what’s worked for me, what’s overrated, and how to avoid the mistakes I made starting out.

So ive been into self improvement for a while now.... And eventhough most of the time i just wasted and relapsed and just couldnt stay consistent, now i seem to have control over myself so i thought lets make a guide to perfect myself cuz im a perfectionist(does not help)but the guide turned out great and now i feel like people could benefit from it... So will people actually want it or i would just be wasting time??

**My plan for the day everyday**:

- Wake up at 06:30

- Glass of water

- Cold shower

- Make bed

- Meditate 10 min

- Working (from home)

- Cooking

- Gym

- Cooking

- Sleep

**What am I allowed to do during detox**:

- Contacting someone if needed

- Writing about my journey

- reading reddit (carefully - only about something related to detox, discipline)

Each day I feel more and more like I'm going to fall back in that artificial dopamine hole. Today I opened steam and thought about installing it. ChatGPT says that I need to survive at least 4 weeks, which is pretty insane. I'm at week 3 (Thursday) coming near to week 4. I wonder if that's really the case - if I will feel better after 4 weeks or it will be the torture all the time, like it is now. It feels like nothing is going to change, like in the current 3 weeks. Always struggle, fighting, going to sleep tired, at evening you have 2 hours of time and you're just wasting it, because there is nothing fun to do. Reading, coding, working out and everything else looks boring. Even in the high dopamine hole I felt like working out, went to sleep at same time each day.

What did I gain from detox:

- At day 2, I got a quality sleep and multiple days after sleep felt also really good. Now I'm at day 18 and I'm sleeping like I used to sleep while gaming. That's so depressing. Anyway, now I always want to go sleep earlier and feel tired before sleep, because I have nothing else to do. Maybe all I need to do is change something - in example no caffeine (pre-workout) after 17:00 and working out should be a little earlier and after that need to hit cold shower, eating before sleep should be lighter and not immediately before sleep (at least try).

- I managed to progress towards my coding project that I procrastinated, I did read, but very little, I liked coding better.

- I'm working from home, so I started working much more than before. Before I couldn't concentrate for long and went to play something, because it felt good, so this is huge improvement when talking about job.

- My dreams changed a bit. Before I dreamed about running, fighting a lot and now my dreams look like I'm the person who choses how everything goes, not being chased, just casual dreams.

- I noticed while writing this, that I started journaling more than before. When my motivation disappeared after 1 week It felt heavier, on week 2 ChatGPT helped me feel better by telling what to expect and that all of this is normal. Week 3 is even harder, because I don't feel any support from people around, ChatGPT is trying to help, but I feel like it doesn't do that much of a help like it used to. At the very start I had a friend who supported me, but after 1 week that person felt cold, not entertained when chatted with me. Fighting alone is extreme compared if you have someone that supports you, if you have such person it will be much better for you, but don't try to overwhelm that person, because probably that's exhausting.

if you see yourself giving up and opening a game, just bite your arm or finger, breathe deeply once, get off pc or phone after the breath, go for a walk, some simple steps can help you extend that difficult moment.

At day 17 I created an imagination that half of my brain cells are spartan warriors, I'm the leader and we're fighting enemy (dopamine warriors). it actually helped me calm down. Sounds childish or cringe, I know I know, I just want to honest

“Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is.” - Albus Dumbledore

I need to know it before i screw Up big too much

Because of childhood trauma, loud arguing or violence triggers me. It doesn’t make me feel extremely scared or anxious, but instead I get an overwhelming sense of anger. That reaction makes me nervous, because if I allow the situation to continue, I’m scared of where it could lead.

I want to be clear — I’m not a violent person. I’m in a healthy relationship with my wife, and I’ve never once laid a hand on her or yelled at her. I’m not worried about hurting her or the people I love. But when it comes to strangers, people I have no connection to, I sometimes feel little to no sympathy. In a heated moment, I might not care about their well-being. At the same time, deep down I know I don’t actually want anything bad to happen to them. I truly believe life is beautiful and worth more effort than most people tend to give it.

When I’m in a tense confrontation, I get lightheaded and overwhelmed. I usually stay quiet because I’m afraid that if I say something, it will escalate the situation — and I don’t know how I’ll react in that moment. Sometimes when I try to speak, my voice is shaky, and I can barely get words out. That shakiness isn’t because I’m scared of the other person or worried about what they think — it’s just my body’s reaction to the intensity of the moment.

This also happens when I hear something I don’t like or even during simple disputes. For example, I was once pulled over for speeding. I had been on a two-lane interstate with a semi-truck and other vehicles in the right lane, while a car was tailgating me. I felt forced to speed because I couldn’t safely slow down or move over. The officer pulled me over anyway and, already irritated, I tried to explain the situation. She cut me off immediately, saying there was “no reason” and that I should have just slowed down or gotten over — even though I firmly believe doing so would have put me or others in danger. Her attitude made me feel like she just wanted to write me a ticket. At that point, I couldn’t control myself at all emotionally. I didn’t feel helpless because of her authority as a cop, or because I was afraid of her, but because I felt an overwhelming sense of anger. I got so lightheaded I actually felt euphoric, my hand started shaking, and I couldn’t speak. I wanted to calmly dispute it, but I wasn’t even able to get the words out.

What makes this so frustrating is that in almost every other area of life, I’m very confident. I can talk to almost anyone, I’m well liked by most people, and I usually speak my mind and carry myself very well. But this specific issue is different — and it feels like something I don’t know how to fix by myself.

If anyone wants FREE advice then feel free to message me, I can only coach 2 people at a time so if you'd like free coaching then act fast.

Before the 2nd lockdown, I was living in a comfort zone — involved in my family business, often taking credit for things I didn’t fully earn, and chasing external validation.

Then I got Covid. I thought I was strong because I worked out regularly, but those days showed me how fragile I really was. I found myself asking: “If I don’t make it, what am I truly grateful for?”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t achievements or material success. It was the little things: quiet walks, meaningful interactions, reading, learning, and personal growth.

After recovery, I started meditating, journaling, reading, and discovered a partner who has been helping me grow into a better version of myself. Three years later, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone — leaving the family business to learn under the right mentors and build a career that aligns with who I want to become.

Sometimes the hardest moments in life push us to discover our best selves, and what feels like an ending is often a new beginning.

I used to live on autopilot. Wake up, scroll, eat, repeat. No direction, no structure.

Then I built the system. For the first time, I knew exactly where my time was going, and I could see the waste in front of me. Fixing that gave me back years of my life.

Hello!! This is my first post here since I got banned on my other accounts. For some backstory I've always been very neglected in hyigene, my dad used to chop my hair very short, my mom would always tug on my hair which made me hate brushing my hair because all I would think about is the times she got very.. unpleasant to be around when she did have to brush my hair, I wasn't able to learn how to take a shower myself until 9 years old and my parents never really had much care for me. I've always kinda been bad at hyigene but it really bad when I had a depressive episode for 2 years straight. Even after the depressive episode ended I still felt numb inside and my bad hygiene carried on too. I used to take showers monthly, I never brushed my teeth, my hair would be all knotted and matted, and my genitals were always suffering. I am the type of girl you sit next to in class and you heavily regret showing up to class because of it. But recently I've started taking showers every other day and I started brushing my hair again. I started wearing deodorant routinely, I'm using floss again, and I wash my hair when I should. I haven't experimented in fragrance but I've also started wearing lotion again. All of this to say that yes, you can do it too!

I've always, as soon as I've felt emotional, tried to push that feeling down as to not cry.

Now I'm aware that crying truly is okey, and is a part of building the future you (I) want. a future where you're also emotionally intelligent and grounded as to become the person you want to become.

There's something in the back of my mind when those emotions creep up, it's a part that makes being on the edge of tears feel unnatural.

But it's not just one thing.

It's because I'm used to suppressing it. that has become natural, almost without thought.

It's also because I've had 20+ years of my surroundings saying it's shameful to cry.

But while getting emotional like that, I'm also aware that exploring that moment is actively leading to growth.

So i try to be aware.

I try to explore.

---------------------------------------

I feel like I must not be the only one who experiences something like this from time to time. If you see yourself in this small bit of text, what have been you're founding(s)? I'm genuinely trying to learn and am welcome to whatever you've got to say.

During my two-month trip across Southeast Asia, I asked strangers one simple question:

“If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?”

The answers were honest, emotional, sometimes tearful, and often full of quiet contentment.

Some of the advice I collected:

1. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Perspective changes everything.
2. We’re capable of almost anything. Don’t let small minds limit your big dreams.
3. Don’t start dating at 15. Or do it — just don’t take it too seriously.

…And many more.

It made me realize something: we often want to make life easier for our younger selves, but maybe we shouldn’t. I’m curious: if you could go back, what advice would you give your younger self, or would you even want to go back?

Full story with all 12 pieces of advice on the link!

I'm going through a huge change in my life. I've been an developer for the longest time, but that never gave a bit of fulfillment. I will not deny it, I did it for the money. Now I'm starting a journey where my self doubt, my insecurities, my self worth and my imposter syndrome are all coming out of the shadows 🙃. They come in hordes of thoughts. I try to mange them, and I think I was doing a good job at learning how to mange them until this happened. I feel like I have two voices in my mind. One that tells me how little worth I have, how nobody will like me, and how I will not find success in my new journey, and the other one equally as loud or even louder tells them to cut it out, and that I know my self worth and that I will succeed and grab this bull by the horns and look it in the eye and tell it I'm in charge here. But both are so loud that my third voice? I guess my consciousness is just watching them screaming at each other while it drinks some coffee and dunk biscuits in it. I'm embracing my fears and demons, and I try to integrate them, but sometimes it's hard to mange it. I guess this is more like a venting off to the infinite void of the heart of the internet aka reddit, but if someone feels like what I'm feeling, you're not alone! I at least don't want to feel alone, thus why I'm posting this here. And if anyone out there has some advice on what to try to quiet those voices, feel free to drop a comment, everything is greatly welcomed and appreciated.

A highly empathetic, conscious Software Engineer

I've been a heavy smoker for 12 years, and tried many different things to help me stop smoking, nothing seemed to work because I didn't really want to stop smoking. I've finally quit and I wanted to share some things that helped me, they might help you too, they might not. I quit cold turkey, that's not for everyone, but I just decided one day, "that's it, I'm done"

Black Pepper Oil, a few drops of this in a diffuser and also adding a drop or 2 to some coconut oil and rubbing it on my wrists and temples, it helped soothing the cravings

Exercise, everyone told me that it helps, I didn't believe them, but seriously, I joined a gym after quitting smoking, and when I got the jitters (which led to rage) I did a good workout, and it released some of the pressure

Safety Blanket Cigarette, like a recovering alcoholic keeping a bottle of unopened whiskey in their drawer, I had one cigarette on my person, not a pack, just one, weirdly it helped

I hope this helps anyone, believe me when I say that if I can give up smoking, anyone can

For a long time, I thought motivation was the missing piece.
I’d watch YouTube videos, read books, hype myself up — and then two weeks later, I was back to old habits.

Here’s what I realized:

• Motivation fades. Discipline sticks.
• You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your standards.
• Most men don’t fail because they’re weak, they fail because they never built a system that makes winning automatic.

What worked for me was brutally simple:

1. One habit at a time. I stopped trying to overhaul my entire life in 30 days. First was getting up without snoozing. Then lifting three times a week. One win → stacked into another.
2. Make failure expensive. I told a friend I’d pay him $100 every time I missed the gym. Pain > excuses.
3. Environment > willpower. I threw out the junk food, deleted TikTok, kept my room clean. You can’t fight a war when your battlefield is a mess.

It took me years to understand this: discipline isn’t a punishment, it’s freedom.

If you’re struggling right now — stop looking for motivation and start raising your standards. That’s when your life changes.

I write more about these kinds of lessons every week in my newsletter. If this resonated, check my profile — the link’s there.

I built this to help me through an 8-month spiral of depression and social anxiety. It turned into something that I think could help others too, so I wanted to share it here for free.

It’s called Winny and it’s a 24/7 mental health support chat trained in four recognised therapy styles. The idea is simple: whenever you’re struggling, you can get personalised, professional-grade support instantly, day or night.

It’s not just ChatGPT in a wrapper. It’s been designed specifically for mental health, so the conversations are grounded in therapeutic models rather than generic advice (and it won’t just tell you what you wan’t to hear!)

If you’d like to try it, sign up and you’ll get 7 days free unlimited access. If you get a lot of value out of it, but can’t afford the monthly cost, send me a message and I’ll upgrade your account to premium access at no cost. I just want to make this available to anyone who could benefit.

winny . support

Picture this: it’s Sunday night. You and your partner order take-out to keep it easy. The food’s balanced on your lap, maybe on a TV tray. The usual debate about what movie to watch is about to begin.

But tonight, something’s sitting in your chest. A thought. A complaint. Something you want to bring up.

You pause. What’s the use?

You already know how this goes. You bring it up and they shut down. You talk for an hour, pouring your heart out, and it feels like nothing lands. They just… stare. And eventually, you’re the one blamed for ruining a perfectly good evening.

So now you’re stuck. Swallow it, and spend the night uneasy or bring it up, and risk killing the vibe.

Neither feels good.

So you try. You say what’s on your mind. They defend themselves quickly. You explain again. Minutes pass. You look at them. They’re just staring.

And suddenly: rage.

How can they sit there saying nothing? Don’t they get it? Don’t they care? How are my needs supposed to be met if I can’t even get a response?

This is where silence gets loud. 

Silence feels like judgment. Like rejection. Like proof they don’t care.

But here’s the thing most of us miss: silence isn’t a message. It’s space. 

Our brain paints meaning onto it… they’re old fears, not present reality.

But that voice… it’s not new. It’s the same story you’ve carried inside for years. The moment your partner goes quiet, that story rushes in to fill the gap.

You think this is the moment that reveals their soul or their love or their commitment.

But it’s just a space for something and also nothing. A moment all its own to be cherished and held with love and compassion. 

That silence can actually be an invitation. A chance to pause. To breathe. To ask yourself:

What part of me most needs my attention right now?  Which piece have I been unconsciously ignoring and not showing my care to? Can you simply allow for this moment, whatever may be happening inside of you?

**I would love to hear if anyone can relate to the beginning of this and what, if anything, comes up for you after reading the ending prompts?

Real strength isn't about never needing anyone. It's about knowing you can count on yourself when everything falls apart.

Building that inner fortress isn't about becoming cold or distant. It's about developing unshakeable confidence in your own abilities. When you trust yourself completely, external validation becomes nice to have, not a necessity.

Self-reliance starts small. Cook your own meals. Fix things yourself. Make decisions without asking ten people for approval. Each tiny act builds your confidence muscle.

The magic happens when you realize you're not just surviving alone anymore. You're thriving. You become selective about who gets access to your energy because you know your worth.

Start today. Do one thing that proves to yourself you're capable. Then do another tomorrow.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how often we say, “I have to.”

I have to go to work. I have to stay in this relationship. I have to react when someone disrespects me.

But when you strip it down, the only thing we truly have to do is die. Everything else is a choice — and the way we make those choices shapes our lives.

A close friend once told me he felt obligated to fulfill a dying man’s request to be a mentor to a younger family friend. I reminded him — he didn’t have to do it. He chose to. That’s what made it meaningful.

It’s easier to say “I can’t because of…” than to admit “I didn’t try.” Obstacles are real, but they’re not brick walls. And the moment we stop outsourcing responsibility for our lives, we start building momentum toward our own definition of success.

What’s a time you realized something you thought you “had to” do was actually a choice?

Full post here if you’d like to read the rest: When Choice Becomes Destiny