r/socialskills • u/cute_lil_baby • 7d ago

how do you bring up something in a nice way

so I have a coworker that is very passive aggressive towards me and its been happening for a while. i let my manager know about it and honestly i just want to ask her directly either whats her problem with me or why she has a problem with me and if she could stop the passive aggressiveness. like example i work in a deli and on one day its just me and her and when the deli opens at 9 i tend to do the hot case side and that leaves her to do the slicing of meat and cheese for customers and 9/10 times she just disappears and leaves me to do it all by myself and when i go to do her side she magically appears and trys to take over my side so i tell her im almost finished with the custoner and ill get right back to it. she will then basically throw a fit and walk off disappearing again. should i ask her if she wants to do hot case? she doesnt talk to me and its like shes just ignoring me but its like if i start talking to her shes fine talking to me but she doesn't seek it out like she does with this other coworker who now doesn't like me probably because she bad mouthed me to her. i honestly just want to know how to ask her if she has a problem with me but if i do it without help im going to straight up say it like that and be all blunt and rude sounding so help in saying that in a nicer way would be nice. thank you in advance

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u/FL-Irish 7d ago

You don't have assigned duties? You just have to figure it out?

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u/cute_lil_baby 7d ago

my manager only gave one coworker the task of one of them. the coworker thats passive-aggressive and i wernt told which to do specifically so in the mornings when its just me and her i end up doing all the prep work and at the end im already at the fryer so i figure to just do hot case. idk if thats the right thinking and she hasnt spoken to me and said she wanted to do hot case so i figure its okay but like i said i typically have to do both when its the day of just us. so long answer short no assigned duities and yes to just figure it out